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What do you do for an Aspie teen


DawnM
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Who refuses to do things?

 

We have taken things he loves away.

We have offered rewards.

We have sat down with him to help him do his work.

I am sure if you name it we have done it.

 

He would rather sit there for HOURS (it is now 2:40 and he has been sitting there since noon) and do nothing and refuse to even try his schoolwork, rather than just get it done.

 

This is stuff he is perfectly capable of doing and doing well.  He just sometimes digs his heels in the sand and refuses.

 

He is supposed to be finishing up 10th grade.  He isn't.  He hasn't done enough work to be finished with 10th grade.  He doesn't care.  

 

Suggestions?

 

Dawn

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I am sorry. That would be hugely frustrating to deal with. Are you on the board for parents of teen Aspies? I just heard about it the other day (mine is not a teen yet). TechWife started the group.

 

Is he having some kind of anxiety that wasn't there before? Our son has very few currencies that work. Anxiety seems to exacerbate that.

 

Would he respond better to a greater level of challenge since you say that he knows the stuff and can do it well?

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Yes, I am on that board and x-posted.

 

I don't know about anxiety but it would be there.

 

No, he wouldn't respond better to greater challenges.  If he feels he doesn't understand it, he won't even try.

 

He is supposed to do a creative writing assignment.  He won't even attempt it.  Everyone else is at least on page 6 of their stories.  He hasn't even written his first word.  He is digging his heels in the sand.

 

Dawn

 

 

I am sorry. That would be hugely frustrating to deal with. Are you on the board for parents of teen Aspies? I just heard about it the other day (mine is not a teen yet). TechWife started the group.

 

Is he having some kind of anxiety that wasn't there before? Our son has very few currencies that work. Anxiety seems to exacerbate that.

 

Would he respond better to a greater level of challenge since you say that he knows the stuff and can do it well?

 

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He is supposed to do a creative writing assignment.  He won't even attempt it.  Everyone else is at least on page 6 of their stories.  He hasn't even written his first word.  He is digging his heels in the sand.

 

Do you think it's the "creative" aspect of the assignment? Can you change the assignment to non-fiction instead? (I can't remember everyone's situation, so I'm not sure if he is homeschooled or in school.) I can't help with the Aspergers aspect, but I have taken to heart SWB's advice that nobody should be forced to do creative writing.
 

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How are his EF skills? Would it help if you broke the task into smaller chunks for him?

Write 4 words describing your main character.

What is the character's problem?

Who else is in this story?

Give me one sentence describing the setting.

What is the main character going to try that doesn't work?

How is the problem going to be resolved?

What happens after the problem gets fixed?

We have to start with lots of concrete planning before my ASD child can jump into any project. The first questions are always the hardest, so I keep those very short and simple and leave a lot of time between asking each one so that her brain has time to work on the project subconsciously. By the time we get to the end, she usually has the entire thing figured out in her head and is ready to put it on paper.

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We weren't getting anywhere with DS until we increased the dosage on two of his medicines.  I still don't understand the how and why of the medications, but DS is a lot more willing to do things now.  But really, once our child gets to that "dug in" point we aren't able to do much either. 

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No, we have tried all of that.  We tried it in Oct when everyone else was doing it.  He came up with ideas but every week was a new idea.

 

We have done about 25 worksheets and brainstorming activities throughout the year.

 

He is a little like me in that he is a big picture sort of person.  Come up with the vision and then come up with the details.

 

It is maddening.

He is excellent at drawing.  He won't even finish that assignment right now.

 

Dawn

 

 

How are his EF skills? Would it help if you broke the task into smaller chunks for him?

Write 4 words describing your main character.

What is the character's problem?

Who else is in this story?

Give me one sentence describing the setting.

What is the main character going to try that doesn't work?

How is the problem going to be resolved?

What happens after the problem gets fixed?

We have to start with lots of concrete planning before my ASD child can jump into any project. The first questions are always the hardest, so I keep those very short and simple and leave a lot of time between asking each one so that her brain has time to work on the project subconsciously. By the time we get to the end, she usually has the entire thing figured out in her head and is ready to put it on paper.

 

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