Existential Depression in Gifted Individuals

[veritas]

I saw the following article on the Web a few weeks ago. The article really resonated with me, so I thought that I should share it with others:

 

 

 

It has been my experience that gifted and talented persons are more likely to experience a type of depression referred to as existential depression. Although an episode of existential depression may be precipitated in anyone by a major loss or the threat of a loss which highlights the transient nature of life, persons of higher intellectual ability are more prone to experience existential depression spontaneously. Sometimes this existential depression is tied into the positive disintegration experience referred to by Dabrowski (1996).

Existential depression is a depression that arises when an individual confronts certain basic issues of existence. Yalom (1980) describes four such issues (or “ultimate concerns”)–death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness. Death is an inevitable occurrence. Freedom, in an existential sense, refers to the absence of external structure. That is, humans do not enter a world which is inherently structured. We must give the world a structure which we ourselves create. Isolation recognizes that no matter how close we become to another person, a gap always remains, and we are nonetheless alone. Meaninglessness stems from the first three. If we must die, if we construct our own world, and if each of us is ultimately alone, then what meaning does life have?

Why should such existential concerns occur disproportionately among gifted persons? Partially, it is because substantial thought and reflection must occur to even consider such notions, rather than simply focusing on superficial day-to-day aspects of life. Other more specific characteristics of gifted children are important predisposers as well.

Because gifted children are able to consider the possibilities of how things might be, they tend to be idealists. However, they are simultaneously able to see that the world is falling short of how it might be. Because they are intense, gifted children feel keenly the disappointment and frustration which occurs when ideals are not reached. Similarly, these youngsters quickly spot the inconsistencies, arbitrariness and absurdities in society and in the behaviors of those around them. Traditions are questioned or challenged. For example, why do we put such tight sex-role or age-role restrictions on people? Why do people engage in hypocritical behaviors in which they say one thing and then do another? Why do people say things they really do not mean at all? Why are so many people so unthinking and uncaring in their dealings with others? How much difference in the world can one person’s life make?

When gifted children try to share these concerns with others, they are usually met with reactions ranging from puzzlement to hostility. They discover that others, particularly of their age, clearly do not share these concerns, but instead are focused on more concrete issues and on fitting in with others’ expectations. Often by even first grade, these youngsters, particularly the more highly gifted ones, feel isolated from their peers and perhaps from their families as they find that others are not prepared to discuss such weighty concerns.

When their intensity is combined with multi-potentiality, these youngsters become particularly frustrated with the existential limitations of space and time. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day to develop all of the talents that many of these children have. Making choices among the possibilities is indeed arbitrary; there is no “ultimately right” choice. Even choosing a vocation can be difficult if one is trying to make a career decision between essentially equal passion, talents and potential in violin, neurology, theoretical mathematics and international relations.

The reaction of gifted youngsters (again with intensity) to these frustrations is often one of anger. But they quickly discover that their anger is futile, for it is really directed at “fate” or at other matters which they are not able to control. Anger that is powerless evolves quickly into depression.

In such depression, gifted children typically try to find some sense of meaning, some anchor point which they can grasp to pull themselves out of the mire of “unfairness.” Often, though, the more they try to pull themselves out, the more they become acutely aware that their life is finite and brief, that they are alone and are only one very small organism in a quite large world, and that there is a frightening freedom regarding how one chooses to live one’s life. It is at this point that they question life’s meaning and ask, “Is this all there is to life? Is there not ultimate meaning? Does life only have meaning if I give it meaning? I am a small, insignificant organism who is alone in an absurd, arbitrary and capricious world where my life can have little impact, and then I die. Is this all there is?”

Such concerns are not too surprising in thoughtful adults who are going through mid-life crises. However, it is a matter of great concern when these existential questions are foremost in the mind of a twelve or fifteen year old. Such existential depressions deserve careful attention, since they can be precursors to suicide.

How can we help our bright youngsters cope with these questions? We cannot do much about the finiteness of our existence. However, we can help youngsters learn to feel that they are understood and not so alone and that there are ways to manage their freedom and their sense of isolation.

The isolation is helped to a degree by simply communicating to the youngster that someone else understands the issues that he/she is grappling with. Even though your experience is not exactly the same as mine, I feel far less alone if I know that you have had experiences that are reasonably similar. This is why relationships are so extremely important in the long-term adjustment of gifted children (Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan, 1982).

A particular way of breaking through the sense of isolation is through touch. In the same way that infants need to be held and touched, so do persons who are experiencing existential aloneness. Touch seems to be a fundamental and instinctual aspect of existence, as evidenced by mother-infant bonding or “failure to thrive” syndrome. Often, I have “prescribed” daily hugs for a youngster suffering existential depression and have advised parents of reluctant teenagers to say, “I know that you may not want a hug, but I need a hug.” A hug, a touch on the arm, playful jostling, or even a “high five” can be very important to such a youngster, because it establishes at least some physical connection.

The issues and choices involved in managing one’s freedom are more intellectual, as opposed to the reassuring aspects of touch as a sensory solution to an emotional crisis. Gifted children who feel overwhelmed by the myriad choices of an unstructured world can find a great deal of comfort in studying and exploring alternate ways in which other people have structured their lives. Through reading about people who have chosen specific paths to greatness and fulfillment, these youngsters can begin to use bibliotherapy as a method of understanding that choices are merely forks in the road of life, each of which can lead them to their own sense of fulfillment and accomplishment (Halsted, 1994). We all need to build our own personal philosophy of beliefs and values which will form meaningful frameworks for our lives.

It is such existential issues that lead many of our gifted individuals to bury themselves so intensively in “causes” (whether these causes are academics, political or social causes, or cults). Unfortunately, these existential issues can also prompt periods of depression, often mixed with desperate, thrashing attempts to “belong.” Helping these individuals to recognize the basic existential issues may help, but only if done in a kind and accepting way. In addition, these youngsters will need to understand that existential issues are not ones that can be dealt with only once, but rather ones that will need frequent revisiting and reconsideration.

In essence, then, we can help many persons with existential depressions if we can get them to realize that they are not so alone and if we can encourage them to adopt the message of hope written by the African-American poet, Langston Hughes:

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams.
For if dreams go,
Life is a barren field
Covered with snow.

~ Langston Hughes

 

 

Source: https://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/existential-depression-in-gifted-individual 

[veritas]

Seems as if the author also wrote a book on existential depression and how to address it:

 

 

Searching for Meaning: Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope by James Webb

[TranquilMind]

I was going to read that, but that was too depressing.  ;)

I saw the following article on the Web a few weeks ago. The article really resonated with me, so I thought that I should share it with others:

 

 

 

It has been my experience that gifted and talented persons are more likely to experience a type of depression referred to as existential depression. Although an episode of existential depression may be precipitated in anyone by a major loss or the threat of a loss which highlights the transient nature of life, persons of higher intellectual ability are more prone to experience existential depression spontaneously. Sometimes this existential depression is tied into the positive disintegration experience referred to by Dabrowski (1996).

Existential depression is a depression that arises when an individual confronts certain basic issues of existence. Yalom (1980) describes four such issues (or “ultimate concerns”)–death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness. Death is an inevitable occurrence. Freedom, in an existential sense, refers to the absence of external structure. That is, humans do not enter a world which is inherently structured. We must give the world a structure which we ourselves create. Isolation recognizes that no matter how close we become to another person, a gap always remains, and we are nonetheless alone. Meaninglessness stems from the first three. If we must die, if we construct our own world, and if each of us is ultimately alone, then what meaning does life have?

Why should such existential concerns occur disproportionately among gifted persons? Partially, it is because substantial thought and reflection must occur to even consider such notions, rather than simply focusing on superficial day-to-day aspects of life. Other more specific characteristics of gifted children are important predisposers as well.

Because gifted children are able to consider the possibilities of how things might be, they tend to be idealists. However, they are simultaneously able to see that the world is falling short of how it might be. Because they are intense, gifted children feel keenly the disappointment and frustration which occurs when ideals are not reached. Similarly, these youngsters quickly spot the inconsistencies, arbitrariness and absurdities in society and in the behaviors of those around them. Traditions are questioned or challenged. For example, why do we put such tight sex-role or age-role restrictions on people? Why do people engage in hypocritical behaviors in which they say one thing and then do another? Why do people say things they really do not mean at all? Why are so many people so unthinking and uncaring in their dealings with others? How much difference in the world can one person’s life make?

When gifted children try to share these concerns with others, they are usually met with reactions ranging from puzzlement to hostility. They discover that others, particularly of their age, clearly do not share these concerns, but instead are focused on more concrete issues and on fitting in with others’ expectations. Often by even first grade, these youngsters, particularly the more highly gifted ones, feel isolated from their peers and perhaps from their families as they find that others are not prepared to discuss such weighty concerns.

When their intensity is combined with multi-potentiality, these youngsters become particularly frustrated with the existential limitations of space and time. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day to develop all of the talents that many of these children have. Making choices among the possibilities is indeed arbitrary; there is no “ultimately right” choice. Even choosing a vocation can be difficult if one is trying to make a career decision between essentially equal passion, talents and potential in violin, neurology, theoretical mathematics and international relations.

The reaction of gifted youngsters (again with intensity) to these frustrations is often one of anger. But they quickly discover that their anger is futile, for it is really directed at “fate” or at other matters which they are not able to control. Anger that is powerless evolves quickly into depression.

In such depression, gifted children typically try to find some sense of meaning, some anchor point which they can grasp to pull themselves out of the mire of “unfairness.” Often, though, the more they try to pull themselves out, the more they become acutely aware that their life is finite and brief, that they are alone and are only one very small organism in a quite large world, and that there is a frightening freedom regarding how one chooses to live one’s life. It is at this point that they question life’s meaning and ask, “Is this all there is to life? Is there not ultimate meaning? Does life only have meaning if I give it meaning? I am a small, insignificant organism who is alone in an absurd, arbitrary and capricious world where my life can have little impact, and then I die. Is this all there is?”

Such concerns are not too surprising in thoughtful adults who are going through mid-life crises. However, it is a matter of great concern when these existential questions are foremost in the mind of a twelve or fifteen year old. Such existential depressions deserve careful attention, since they can be precursors to suicide.

How can we help our bright youngsters cope with these questions? We cannot do much about the finiteness of our existence. However, we can help youngsters learn to feel that they are understood and not so alone and that there are ways to manage their freedom and their sense of isolation.

The isolation is helped to a degree by simply communicating to the youngster that someone else understands the issues that he/she is grappling with. Even though your experience is not exactly the same as mine, I feel far less alone if I know that you have had experiences that are reasonably similar. This is why relationships are so extremely important in the long-term adjustment of gifted children (Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan, 1982).

A particular way of breaking through the sense of isolation is through touch. In the same way that infants need to be held and touched, so do persons who are experiencing existential aloneness. Touch seems to be a fundamental and instinctual aspect of existence, as evidenced by mother-infant bonding or “failure to thrive” syndrome. Often, I have “prescribed” daily hugs for a youngster suffering existential depression and have advised parents of reluctant teenagers to say, “I know that you may not want a hug, but I need a hug.” A hug, a touch on the arm, playful jostling, or even a “high five” can be very important to such a youngster, because it establishes at least some physical connection.

The issues and choices involved in managing one’s freedom are more intellectual, as opposed to the reassuring aspects of touch as a sensory solution to an emotional crisis. Gifted children who feel overwhelmed by the myriad choices of an unstructured world can find a great deal of comfort in studying and exploring alternate ways in which other people have structured their lives. Through reading about people who have chosen specific paths to greatness and fulfillment, these youngsters can begin to use bibliotherapy as a method of understanding that choices are merely forks in the road of life, each of which can lead them to their own sense of fulfillment and accomplishment (Halsted, 1994). We all need to build our own personal philosophy of beliefs and values which will form meaningful frameworks for our lives.

It is such existential issues that lead many of our gifted individuals to bury themselves so intensively in “causes” (whether these causes are academics, political or social causes, or cults). Unfortunately, these existential issues can also prompt periods of depression, often mixed with desperate, thrashing attempts to “belong.” Helping these individuals to recognize the basic existential issues may help, but only if done in a kind and accepting way. In addition, these youngsters will need to understand that existential issues are not ones that can be dealt with only once, but rather ones that will need frequent revisiting and reconsideration.

In essence, then, we can help many persons with existential depressions if we can get them to realize that they are not so alone and if we can encourage them to adopt the message of hope written by the African-American poet, Langston Hughes:

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams.
For if dreams go,
Life is a barren field
Covered with snow.

~ Langston Hughes

 

 

Source: https://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/existential-depression-in-gifted-individual

 

[LucyStoner]

Makes me smile. The first fight I ever had with my now husband was me telling him that he could take his existential malaise and go rain on someone else's parade. There was no need to replicate Camus' life since Camus had already lived it. He is one of the freaky smart peeps. Man, I am mean and I am very happy he stayed anyway.

[8circles]

I've never heard this term, existential depression. Never been told I was gifted but I've experienced this throughout my life. I'm thrilled to know its a thing & not just me being a mope. Interesting - Thx for posting.

[Little Nyssa]

It's very good that this is being recognized as a phenomenon.  I definitely had this as a child/teen.  

[Carrie12345]

Very interesting.
This has always been an issue for me.

(Not claiming to be gifted. Although I was considered for the gifted program in school, and would have gotten in if girls with ADHD were a recognized thing at the time.)

[Dory]

I always figured that if Solomon could experience a little depression over the hopelessness of it all, that I would be alright. I go through this regularly.

[momacacia]

This is why DH thinks I'm a genius. Got him fooled. ;)

[Kathryn]

The story of teenaged me...

[mom31257]

My dd thinks any deep thinking person will face these issues and experience some depression. She thinks it's a testament to your intelligence and not a problem. She does experience it as well.

[Anacharsis]

This is why emotional development must be pushed at the same rate as intellectual development -- otherwise their brains will allow them to see problems that their hearts have not yet provided them the tools to solve. 

[Elfknitter.#]

This is why emotional development must be pushed at the same rate as intellectual development -- otherwise their brains will allow them to see problems that their hearts have not yet provided them the tools to solve.

: blink:

[Onceuponatime]

Makes me smile. The first fight I ever had with my now husband was me telling him that he could take his existential malaise and go rain on someone else's parade. There was no need to replicate Camus' life since Camus had already lived it. He is one of the freaky smart peeps. Man, I am mean and I am very happy he stayed anyway.

 

My dh wouldn't be described as freaky smart, but around 30 he began moaning about his "impending" death. I told him my life would be more pleasant if he just went ahead and died instead of talking about it all the time. He stopped.

 

 

I need to tell my daughter about this article. My 8yo grandson just flabbergasted her the other day by telling her he was afraid he was all alone in the universe, everything else is an illusion.

[mom31257]

And how do you push emotional development? 

 

 

[veritas]

And how do you push emotional development? 

 

 

 

The author has written a few books on existential depression. 

 

For example, see the second post of this thread.

[Joanne]

I'm changing my username to it: existentialdepression

 

I had this my entire life. At my main job, I work with it. I am *seriously* considering getting a graduate certificate in gifted education.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Always nice to have a name for stuff that never goes away.

[katilac]

Thanks, very interesting. 

 

Let me add today's tip for sharing articles: you should always include a link to the original source, and you did that, but you should NOT copy and paste the entire article. A bit of it to give the idea is fine, and then a link. This keeps the WTM site from getting in trouble over copyright infractions. 

 

Although, we're all just going to die anyway, so maybe it doesn't matter . . . 

[Anacharsis]

: blink:

When a formerly single child gets a new baby sibling, they sometimes struggle with no longer being "the baby", and will try to act younger than their age. This is basically a small-scale version of the emotional struggle over growing old. When a pet fish dies, the tools a child uses to cope are really small-scale versions of the tools they will use years later when their spouse dies. In a perfect world, by the time each larger version of an issue comes along, the tools have already grown to scale through use on the smaller versions.

In the weightroom, there is usually somebody who acts as a "spotter", someone who can help lift a heavy weight off of the lifter if their muscles fail them, so that they don't injure themselves in a panic trying to get the weight off. Often what gifted children need is an emotional spotter.

The insight that allows gifted children to excel can sometimes get them into places that they do not have the tools to function in. In the same way that trying to lift a weight that is too heavy can lead to a muscle injury, trying to lift an existential weight that is too heavy can lead to an emotional injury. Rehabilitation in both cases involves artificially limiting the strain and providing rest, while gently working the muscle back into shape.

[Catwoman]

My dh wouldn't be described as freaky smart, but around 30 he began moaning about his "impending" death. I told him my life would be more pleasant if he just went ahead and died instead of talking about it all the time. He stopped.

Clearly, you are the freaky smart one in the family, because your response was brilliant!!!

[mom31257]

When a formerly single child gets a new baby sibling, they sometimes struggle with no longer being "the baby", and will try to act younger than their age. This is basically a small-scale version of the emotional struggle over growing old. When a pet fish dies, the tools a child uses to cope are really small-scale versions of the tools they will use years later when their spouse dies. In a perfect world, by the time each larger version of an issue comes along, the tools have already grown to scale through use on the smaller versions.

In the weightroom, there is usually somebody who acts as a "spotter", someone who can help lift a heavy weight off of the lifter if their muscles fail them, so that they don't injure themselves in a panic trying to get the weight off. Often what gifted children need is an emotional spotter.

The insight that allows gifted children to excel can sometimes get them into places that they do not have the tools to function in. In the same way that trying to lift a weight that is too heavy can lead to a muscle injury, trying to lift an existential weight that is too heavy can lead to an emotional injury. Rehabilitation in both cases involves artificially limiting the strain and providing rest, while gently working the muscle back into shape.

 

So how does this work in real life? If a gifted child is pondering death and existence in the universe, how can you "limit the strain and provide rest?" You can't control what is in their minds or even know that they are thinking about it unless they choose to tell you or ask you about it.

[Anacharsis]

So how does this work in real life? If a gifted child is pondering death and existence in the universe, how can you "limit the strain and provide rest?" You can't control what is in their minds or even know that they are thinking about it unless they choose to tell you or ask you about it.

Ultimately this is a very difficult question -- I know I certainly don't have all of the answers.

If they choose not to tell you, it can indeed be hard to tell what is wrong, and of course many people when confronted by something that overwhelms them don't want to talk about it, because they don't want to re-experience those feelings. It may be possible to talk about it without talking about it, though, by talking about what they are struggling with in a way that is less personal, such as their reactions to a character in a book or play who is experiencing a similar struggle.

Finding ways to add a degree of separation from their own feelings of being overwhelmed and the problem in general can help not only in identifying the problem but also in allowing themselves a space to work through it. For instance, the story of Faust, driven mad by his inability to know the things that mattered most to him despite a life dedicated to study, is less personal than confronting one's own feelings of despair in a similar situation. (On a more modern note, Stan Lee created Spider-Man in an effort to help teens work through their struggle between the capable people whom they were expected to be and the inadequate people they privately saw themselves as.)

Exercise can help -- the focus on the physical takes one away from the mental and emotional. However, some people react to emotional strain with lethargy; in their case, channeling their minds into exercise might not work. However, given that Spring is here in many parts of the world, simply lying around in the sun instead of on the couch can have a positive effect. :)

Allowing them to retreat temporarily into something that they are good at can help, even if it seems childish for their age. People are often demoralized when confronted by something that they feel has thwarted them, especially if their natural ability has allowed them to overcome most difficulties; reminding themselves that they still have control in some other aspect of their lives can help, as long as this avoidant attitude doesn't become permanent.

Keep an eye out for negative coping, like self-harm. Self-harm uses the same principles of taking the mind away through the physical and re-establishing a feeling of control, but it does so in an unhealthy way. Whenever possible, try to replace the bad coping tools in their toolkit with good ones -- once certain habits have been established, they can be hard to break.

I'm sure there are others out there with better advice than my own, and hope that they will also respond. :)

[Juniper]

Thanks for sharing this. I remember being 8 and begging my Mom to let us have a religion. I had this desperation and fear about dying, purpose and structure. I look forward to reading the book.

[veritas]

Thanks for sharing this. I remember being 8 and begging my Mom to let us have a religion. I had this desperation and fear about dying, purpose and structure. I look forward to reading the book.

 

 

 

If you do read the book, please come back here and let us know what you think about it.

[Joanne]

Ultimately this is a very difficult question -- I know I certainly don't have all of the answers.

Finding ways to add a degree of separation from their own feelings of being overwhelmed and the problem in general can help

 

 

Exercise can help --

 

 

Allowing them to retreat temporarily into something that they are good at can help,

 

 

Keep an eye out for negative coping, like self-harm. Self-harm uses the same principles of taking the mind away through the physical and re-establishing a feeling of control, but it does so in an unhealthy way. Whenever possible, try to replace the bad coping tools in their toolkit with good ones -- once certain habits have been established, they can be hard to break.

I'm sure there are others out there with better advice than my own, and hope that they will also respond. :)

 

 

Adding: mindfulness and meditation are a research based way to help, also.

 

 

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

One more reason I tell every parent/patient I meet to make friends with the child life specialist at his/her local cancer center. Most don't.

DD is mg, and has more than her share of a psychological load to deal with, and yes, I do think giftedness makes that load heavier. It's something we actively manage, with help.

Any article that makes me think I'm not crazy and alone is a good article. Thanks.

[veritas]

Bibliotherapy might also help. See below:

 

 

Essentially, by having gifted students read literature and/or biographies featuring gifted children or adults, the students can gain insights into their own giftedness. Through bibliotherapeutic reading, the gifted kids are presented with ideas for how to cope with some of the struggles they encounter because they are gifted. These struggles can include trouble finding meaningful friendships, existential depression, dealing with high expectations (whether internal or external), and being a unique learner when most around them don’t learn as they do.

 

Read more here: http://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/unwrapping_the_gifted/2009/03/using_bibliotherapy_with_gifted_children.html