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When do they teach sex ed in school these days?


SKL
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I think that, in general, all stuff relating to human biology tends to be too little and too late. Everyone should learn basic info about body systems, because we all have a body!

 

And preferably they should learn these things before they procreate unintentionally as middle school or Jr high students.

 

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Your kids go to a church school don't they? maybe that makes a difference. I never got taught anything to do with sex or puberty but I think my younger siblings did (8 and 10 years younger). I would prefer to do it myself but some people don't like too and a lot of kids would probably prefer it wasn't their parents. I will probably get one of my brothers to talk to my boys about the not purely biological aspects when they approach puberty though. They may have had something about ovaries somewhere though or he read something because he asked for more detail (he is 6).

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My kids go to a Lutheran school, but so did I, and they taught this in 2nd grade back in the early 1970s.  Apparently a lot has changed since then.

 

Anyhoo, at this point I am not worried about my 7yos getting to sexual maturity without knowing how babies are made.  My concern is that they were adopted and I need to introduce the fact that they have biological fathers.  To do that, they have to understand the fact that conception involves a male and a female.

 

Some folks recommended the books "it's not the stork" and "it's so amazing" which I have ordered.  Here's hoping this makes it easy for me....

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Around here I think it is about fifth grade, parents can opt in or out. That seems fine to me for a public school class, parents who don't want their kids exposed to such topics at a younger age or who want to present this material for the first time themselves don't have to deal with it sooner than necessary, but if you wait much longer than that kids will not know things they really need to as they hit puberty. Even fifth grade might be late for some.

 

I've been teaching my kids since the oldest was three or four. I'd just rather have it be just a normal thing to learn about and understand than some special topic they have to feel embarrassed to talk about.

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My kids go to a Lutheran school, but so did I, and they taught this in 2nd grade back in the early 1970s.  Apparently a lot has changed since then.

 

Anyhoo, at this point I am not worried about my 7yos getting to sexual maturity without knowing how babies are made.  My concern is that they were adopted and I need to introduce the fact that they have biological fathers.  To do that, they have to understand the fact that conception involves a male and a female.

 

Some folks recommended the books "it's not the stork" and "it's so amazing" which I have ordered.  Here's hoping this makes it easy for me....

 

Another possibility would be getting a book with photos and illustrations of fetal development, that maybe starts with a discussion of sperm and egg coming together at conception then goes through how the baby develops and is born. More of a big picture look at how amazing the growth and development of a baby is approach than just focusing on how conception occurs.

 

Something like this maybe? 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Child-Is-Born-Lennart-Nilsson/dp/0385337558/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1393514333&sr=8-2&keywords=fetal+development

 

or this:

 

http://www.amazon.com/In-Womb-Witness-Conception-Astonishing/dp/142620003X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1393514333&sr=8-3&keywords=fetal+development

 

or this:

 

http://www.amazon.com/From-Conception-Birth-Life-Unfolds/dp/0385503180/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1393514333&sr=8-4&keywords=fetal+development

 

I haven't actually seen any of these books to recommend one specifically.

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When do they tell kids about the sperm coming from the father and giving the child half of her biological traits?

I am not sure I consider that sex ed, exactly.

 

To me, sex ed is more about how that sperm gets there.

 

There are quite a few books that discuss the sperm meeting the egg and so forth without any discussion of just how it got there, for all age ranges.

 

When I took sex ed as a part of health class in high school, it was almost entirely about contraception (both how to use, and the failure rates) and the gory details of various diseases. It was fairly depressing.

 

I was at a library book sale that had like someone's massive collection of "where babies come from" books, and I picked up the 1968 How Babies Are Made by Andry and Schepp (my copy appears to be like the later one). It consists of paper cut-out style illustrations, and a clear transition from reproduction in flowers to birds to dogs to humans. It shows mating in all and points to body part names. The humans have no faces or body hair, and have kind of vague physical representations (breasts = circle, no nipple). The reproductive act is shown as a man and woman with faces and hair, kissing, underneath a blanket (you can sort of see their shoulders are bare), with the man sort of on top of her.  Whereas there is a picture of a male dog on top of a female dog, the diagram just shows the sperm swimming up the female, not the male organ inside. The words for humans definitely describe the act. Birth is also discussed, in the context of creating families. It is pretty straight forwardly descriptive yet not disturbingly so. It is not about puberty or fetal development, just reproduction.

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I am not sure I consider that sex ed, exactly.

 

To me, sex ed is more about how that sperm gets there.

 

There are quite a few books that discuss the sperm meeting the egg and so forth without any discussion of just how it got there, for all age ranges.

 

Of course, you have to be prepared for any halfway curious child to ask "But if the sperm grows in the dad and the egg grows in the mom, the two have to be brought in contact somehow?"

I am quoting verbatim a 5 y/o who thus extended the rather generic discussion to very specific content that was definitely sex ed. So, be prepared for a thinking child and know what to respond.

 

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I am a bit concerned that you never explained this before. Seems a bit odd to me.

 

ETA: Not being snarky, I just cannot figure out how/why you never addressed this and how they got to 7 without noticing that other kids have two parents or that it takes a male and a female to reporduce. 

.  My concern is that they were adopted and I need to introduce the fact that they have biological fathers.  To do that, they have to understand the fact that conception involves a male and a female.

 

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Of course, you have to be prepared for any halfway curious child to ask "But if the sperm grows in the dad and the egg grows in the mom, the two have to be brought in contact somehow?"

I am quoting verbatim a 5 y/o who thus extended the rather generic discussion to very specific content that was definitely sex ed. So, be prepared for a thinking child and know what to respond.

Of course. It's entirely possible for a not very curious child to accept he/she is related to a father without being terribly curious about how that happened. I also think there are different notions of what "sex ed" means. I am not sure I would consider saying that a child has a father is sex ed. Nor am I sure that the concept of egg + sperm is itself sex ed. It's a multi-layered conversation, is my point, and other's concepts of what "sex ed" consists of may differ. At the same time, I was suggesting for consideration an older book that very clearly names body parts as well as describes intercourse and birth for animals and people. 

 

I don't think I understand quite what is being asked in the first post.

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I am a bit concerned that you never explained this before. Seems a bit odd to me.

 

ETA: Not being snarky, I just cannot figure out how/why you never addressed this and how they got to 7 without noticing that other kids have two parents or that it takes a male and a female to reporduce.

Some kids just don't think about these things very much. I'm pretty sure I didn't even wonder about the specifics of procreation until I was ten or so. It just wasn't on my radar as a topic of interest. I knew babies grew inside a mom--I had several younger siblings--but I never wondered about how they got started or what a dad's contribution might be.

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Of course, you have to be prepared for any halfway curious child to ask "But if the sperm grows in the dad and the egg grows in the mom, the two have to be brought in contact somehow?"

I am quoting verbatim a 5 y/o who thus extended the rather generic discussion to very specific content that was definitely sex ed. So, be prepared for a thinking child and know what to respond.

 

 

Exactly, and I am 100% sure that will happen.  So there is no point trying to be vague or leave out parts.

 

They already know the woman's part in some detail.  They have known for years that their own bodies are equipped with reproductive organs and immature eggs, where babies grow and where they come out etc.  But so far it hasn't occurred to them that the male has a part in it.  Which is completely understandable, since they don't spend much time around "traditional families."  They know many kids have dads in their homes, but lots of people live together and don't produce babies, and lots of kids don't live with their biological dads, so it isn't obvious.

 

When I was 7 and we studied the egg and sperm in school, I asked my mom the question of how they got together.  I remember my brother asking (and being shocked by the realization) when he was 10.  I don't think it's at all unusual for a 7yo to be clueless about the man's contribution, especially if she doesn't live in a situation where people (or animals) are procreating.

 

But it's getting to a critical point now because we've been talking about inherited traits and such.  How can you talk about inherited traits and leave out half of the equation for some of the people?

 

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I work at a public school and I am surprised at home many parents expect the school to teach sex ed. instead of having ongoing discussions. In my school district there is a puberty talk in 5th grade, which they are thinking of lower to 4th grade for the girls, but no mention is made of how a baby is concieved, just what happens during puberty. In 7th grade science they study genetics in science class. In 9th grade there is a one semester health class. 

I really liked the books "It's Not the Stork" and "It's So Amazing".  The first book is for younger children (4-8) and does have a section on all different types of families. The later is for older children (7-10). 

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I work at a public school and I am surprised at home many parents expect the school to teach sex ed.

 

I guess it's because it was taught in elementary school when we were growing up.  If anything I would assume they talk about it more and sooner now.

 

I am sure most parents expect to have "the talk" sooner or later, as far as responsible behavior etc., but assume that the basic mechanics are taught in school (before puberty).

 

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I guess my family is not a good place to learn about genetics, LOL.  It hasn't been an ongoing conversation because no two people under our roof are even remotely related biologically.  I mean, we're from all over the globe.  And a lot of the kids they know were adopted or only live with their bio mom (or bio mom + step dad).  So "he gets that from his father" is not something they hear much.

 

The other day, Miss A stated that her birth mom taught her how to roll her eyes (a talent of which she is very proud :P).  So I told her she might have inherited that and other traits.  We've had a few other chats about inherited traits, but probably a lot less than most families.

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 The mechanics are learned when working with animals and having discussions...pets getting neutered, 4H projects, petting zoos, why is there only one rooster to all those hens, what is a mule,

My kids don't live on a farm and despite watching plenty of nature videos (including really aggressive males beating off other males), expressed no particular interest in why there is only one male to a giant group of females, honestly. So add my kids to the "not really interested" camp.

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My kids do spend time with my sister, who breeds dogs.  She has told them a few things, but specifically avoided their recent question about how the pregnancies get started in the first place.  She decided that was my job.  Thanks, sis!

 

Funny thing, I'm not entirely sure they know the difference between boy parts and girl parts.  I think they do, but I've never shown them....  They do know that if a guy ever attacked them, they would "kick him in the weenie."  :P

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I guess it's because it was taught in elementary school when we were growing up.  If anything I would assume they talk about it more and sooner now.

 

I am sure most parents expect to have "the talk" sooner or later, as far as responsible behavior etc., but assume that the basic mechanics are taught in school (before puberty).

 

 

 

In California, districts can opt out of teaching sex ed, however, if they choose to teach sex ed then they are supposed to follow state standards. When parents come to me and ask for sex ed book recommendations, I won't recommend any specific book, I tell them to go to the book store and get a book they feel comfortable reading to their kids. I don't know what each family believes should be taught in regards to how much information, how explicit, different types of families. In public schools it is hard to never offend any group and not to make any kids and teachers feel uncomfortable when discussing sex. For example, if a teacher who is gay is teaching the lesson, a kid may ask the teacher about his or her life.  If a child has siblings from different fathers then other children may start asking about the mother's sex life. 

 

When I taught first grade,  I was correcting papers at my desk during a rainy day recess where the children get free play inside the classroom. The students started discussing noises their parents made at night when it was dark. Many of the children lived in one bedroom apartments, garages, studios, and some lived with their entire family in one bedroom of a divided house. After one boy made a loud moaning noise, I quickly told all the kids we were going to play "Heads up Seven Up game",  in order to break up that conversation. 

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When I taught first grade,  I was correcting papers at my desk during a rainy day recess where the children get free play inside the classroom. The students started discussing noises their parents made at night when it was dark. Many of the children lived in one bedroom apartments, garages, studios, and some lived with their entire family in one bedroom of a divided house. After one boy made a loud moaning noise, I quickly told all the kids we were going to play "Heads up Seven Up game",  in order to break up that conversation. 

 

Oh my goodness!  :P  Clearly my kids live a very sheltered life!

 

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Well, my younger two are total nudists so there has been no need to explain that boy parts and girl parts are different.

 

We have discussed genetics loosely since they know ds takes after his dad, and dd looks just like my mother.  They've also gotten a little expansion on relationships when they realized their older sister has a different dad than they do.

 

My oldest's school started with the "sex ed" in about 2nd grade with different kinds of families, that you need a mom and a dad, and similar basics.  In fourth or fifth (I can't remember for sure) they had the puberty talks.   6th grade science is where they learned a little bit of formal genetics and more how things work.  9th grade started diseases, 10th grade "health" was actually drivers ed  :lol: , 11th and 12th grade went into more about family planning and alternative lifestyles.

 

It wasn't very different than what I had growing up in NJ but I don't remember as much about different kinds of families which kind of stunk because I was from a single parent family when it was not very common.

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I guess it's because it was taught in elementary school when we were growing up.  If anything I would assume they talk about it more and sooner now.

 

I am sure most parents expect to have "the talk" sooner or later, as far as responsible behavior etc., but assume that the basic mechanics are taught in school (before puberty).

 

 

Yikes. No! I'd rather the school leave it up to me to teach and discuss it later, if necessary.

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