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S/o of an S/o . . . finding time for the fun stuff


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Does anybody else have a hard time finding/making time for the "fun stuff"?  I do.  We're pretty focused on academics here, and I like reading and discussing and learning things.  And providing what I consider to be a full and complete education to a 6th grader and a 2nd grader pretty much fills up the whole day.  And it's good.

 

But I feel something - wistful? regretful? something . . . . like by providing this solid education that I feel good about, we're missing out.  We don't have a lot of time to get outdoors, to play games, to garden, to teach the kids to cook, or to do messy fun projects that don't have an academic focus.  Lord knows we aren't getting enough excercise.  And I only see this getting worse with a child entering jr high/high school.

 

I get it that I'm making a choice, and that there isn't time for everything.  But I wonder if I'm making the right choice? How do you balance all the things you find important? How do you fit it all in?  If you don't, what do you let go of?

 

February musings . . .  ;)

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I think once you can recognize that there is academic, developmental, and social benefit to much if what you want to do, it's easier to schedule it in. To me, a lot of what you talked about is glue - not gravy. Yes, we're very academically focused but more CM in seeing value in productive free time, the outdoors, cooking, life. A couple of years ago I really started slashing redundancy and expecting more from what we do schedule. One math. One LA. One writing: and do them WELL. Then, I got homeschooling - not schooling at home. :-) It's been very worthwhile for my family to live more and be more CM. HTH

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I read LCC and gave some serious thought to the importance of the various things I was trying to cram into my kids' heads and narrowed it down from there.  And I try to keep my kids from going past their grade-level hours for the day (my 4th grader gets cut off at 4 hours and my 6th grader gets cut off at 6 hours).  I actually scheduled two days each week as light days this year as well, so the kids will be done with schoolwork by lunch time and have the afternoon free to play outdoors, cook, make lego projects, play with snap circuits, paint, etc.  Their academics aren't suffering for it, and I feel like my kids are learning a lot this year - more than in the past when I had subject after subject, supplement after supplement.

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I don't have any answers but its something I think about as well. I went to an amazing full time gifted program for part of elementary where we ran our own newspaper, did theater, had guest speakers, and did amazing hands on projects for almost every subject in addition to very rigorous (but often exciting) academics. It was definitely a unique environment in combining fun and learning and I would love to replicate a small part of that.

 

The main thing I do well aside from school work is getting outside. I prioritize physical activity for my son and myself so we go for huge bike rides, hikes, and go swimming several times a week in addition to ski trips, camping, etc. I think a previous poster is right in saying that if you think it is a necessity you make it happen. Physical activity is a sanity saver for us, and thus a "must."

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I do the hours per grade level method. My 2nd graders do 2-3 hours and my 6th grader does no more than 6 hours. Outside time is a priority, and when the weather is nice, we do nature walks. We schedule at least one field trip a month, and sign up for one extra curricular activity a season. We just started track this week. We are doing archery in April and swim lessons this summer. My goal is for a well rounded education. Academics are important, but so are other things... It's a balancing act.

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For us, efficiency is important, so we might integrate literature into reading before bed, rather than a school subject. Some things can be done around the breakfast table, and we get an early start.

 

I am also a fan of finishing formal school at lunchtime (8-1 with minimal breaks is a good chunk of time, and things like history reading can be done in the evenings and having the afternoons free for the fun stuff

 

Alternatively, consider a 4 day week routine, with a wednesday or some other non-weekend day as your off day, and choose to intentionally use and plan that day for the fun stuff.

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To be honest, I have never felt this way. In 6th grade, we did 4-5 hours of school per day. The rest of the time was available for free pursuits. After all, they do learn a lot from their self selected reading, creative writing, or whatever they choose to spend their leisure time on. Daily outdoor time was something we always had time for.

We start school at 8am and, in the middle grades, were done a little after lunch. I never homeschooled elementary, but I know I would definitely not spend more than 2-3 hours on seat work with a 2nd grader.

We always spent one entire weekend day hiking as a family, visiting state parks, traveled in the summer, saw lots of museums and live performances. DD had time for her hobbies - choir, and in 8th and 9th grade she spent 20 hours per week at the barn where she rides horses.

This does not mean that we are academic slackers. DD graduates with an impressive transcript and will have 34 college credits by the time she finishes 12th grade. So, I think whatever time we spent on schooling in the middle grades was entirely sufficient.

 

 

 

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With kids the age of yours, no, I did not/do not feel that way except on the odd, haywire, life-is-out-of-control day. My 6th grader was outside today by 230 and was out there until dark. There is so much more to nurturing a person than educating their mind. We need to nurture their body and soul as well. Physical exercise, appreciating the beauty of nature, embracing the whole vs. a part.

 

There is no need to do it all now. She has 6 yrs left. ;) and education between 6th and 12th is sort of like the difference between k and 6th.........is there a difference in the amt of material covered and mastered? As they get older, they can cover more, master more more easily than when they are younger. I don't personally think there is a sacrifice that needs to be made between great academics and missing out on life.

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Does anybody else have a hard time finding/making time for the "fun stuff"? I do. We're pretty focused on academics here, and I like reading and discussing and learning things. And providing what I consider to be a full and complete education to a 6th grader and a 2nd grader pretty much fills up the whole day. And it's good.

 

But I feel something - wistful? regretful? something . . . . like by providing this solid education that I feel good about, we're missing out. We don't have a lot of time to get outdoors, to play games, to garden, to teach the kids to cook, or to do messy fun projects that don't have an academic focus. Lord knows we aren't getting enough excercise. And I only see this getting worse with a child entering jr high/high school.

 

I get it that I'm making a choice, and that there isn't time for everything. But I wonder if I'm making the right choice? How do you balance all the things you find important? How do you fit it all in? If you don't, what do you let go of?

 

February musings . . . ;)

Yes. This is how I feel every day. The only difference is I have a 3rd grader and a second grader.
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I have always found time for the fun stuff, because I view it as a need, as pps stated. But we didn't often get everything done every day.

This year we switched to a more unit type approach. We do core subjects every day, and one additional subject until it's done. We are working through SOTW 2 right now. We do a chapter a day. That's it. Copy work, art, independent reading, dictation all come out of this subject. Even religious instruction works it's way in there.

I am finding that we cover more material in greater depth this way. We have more free time, as a bonus.

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But I feel something - wistful? regretful? something . . . . like by providing this solid education that I feel good about, we're missing out.  We don't have a lot of time to get outdoors, to play games, to garden, to teach the kids to cook, or to do messy fun projects that don't have an academic focus.  Lord knows we aren't getting enough excercise.  And I only see this getting worse with a child entering jr high/high school.

 

 

I felt like this. Almost exactly. I relate to the way you expressed it.  And this year we have been changing.  I have put a time cap on how long we spend on the 'academic essentials', and now we are once again having time to follow ideas we have when we are reading together, or to do drawing, or art, or other things.  I love it, and the kids are enjoying it.

 

Just the other day I started a new book related to history with ds9 and dd11.  We sat together and took turns reading paragraphs.  We then talked about the author and the illustrator of the book and ds9 suddenly asked if we would be able to write and illustrate a book like that.  Dd11 piped up saying she would like to write it, and ds wanted to illustrate.  So, they ran happily upstairs to start planning what their book would be about.  It's a project they are going to do together, inspired by a book we read, driven by themselves.  I'm so happy about this.  I'm sick of missing out on these things because I was trying to make sure I kept to a schedule, and now we have more freedom again.

 

Putting that time cap on the skill development subjects has helped this change.  I figure that every bit they do is a step forward, and it doesn't need to be a huge amount to be making progress. 

 

 

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I'm on my third kid now and I feel like I've learned a thing of two from the first two, but this kid is also a lot better at recognizing his needs. I allow him to schedule his days and often, because he prefers to spread out the free time a lot, we are "doing school" until 7 PM. I'd much prefer to compress it all and have really free empty time for hours, but he doesn't seem to want that. I don't mean I'm still sitting with him at 7, but that he's still working on academic stuff. I think that it's important for a kid to learn how to structure his time and he certainly doesn't do it the way I do, but he's learning something about time management too.

 

IOW, if we were to compress all of his academic work, it would probably take about 5 or 6 hours (all reading included). Fun stuff for him includes computer games like Minecraft, low stress reading, riding his unicycle or bike, playing around on the piano, practicing karate, playing board games, and dreaming up ways to make money. LOL. OP, what do your kids like to do? Is yours a problem with time management, or with lack of other interests? It may be that they need empty time, or it may be that they need a push to develop non-academic interests.

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my kids complain that all they do is work (school and chores) but that's because they make basic things take for-ev-er. 10 minute tasks can take up to 2 hours. or even more. they just get distracted so all their "play time" is "built in" to their work. telling them if they would just focus and do the task at hand they would have abundant time to play and do all the "fun" things they ask me to do just doesn't seem to help.

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I think my kids have plenty of free time - but the problem is, I don't!  They finish their work and then can go off and play, work on projects, read, go outside, do their extracurriculars . . . but I still have chores, groceries, meals, and family business, and on top of that I have a consulting business, too.  So I guess I feel like they have a really balanced life, but almost all my time with them feels very schooly, because the rest of my time is filled with other work.  So it's not that they are missing out on things, it's that I miss out on doing those "extra" things with them . . . does that make sense?

 

 

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I think my kids have plenty of free time - but the problem is, I don't!  They finish their work and then can go off and play, work on projects, read, go outside, do their extracurriculars . . . but I still have chores, groceries, meals, and family business, and on top of that I have a consulting business, too.  So I guess I feel like they have a really balanced life, but almost all my time with them feels very schooly, because the rest of my time is filled with other work.  So it's not that they are missing out on things, it's that I miss out on doing those "extra" things with them . . . does that make sense?

 

Yes, that does make sense. Is there a way you can bundle/streamline your other commitments? How many hours are you working in your business? I realize my situation is different form yours since I did not start homeschooling until 5th grade and did not have the problem of supervising very young kids. I work part time, and my kids often came to the office with me to work on school while I was doing prep work or teaching, so some of my work could be accomplished during some of their schooling. I do not know whether this is feasible with a 2nd grader (it absolutely was with 5th and up)

Also, I have found that I can get away with very minimal time for household chores, so that they really do not have an impact on our day. Maybe there are things you can simply decide not to do? I save elaborate meals for the weekends; week day meals rarely take longer than 20 minutes to cook. Going to the park is more important.

What helped us was to set aside at least one weekend day completely as a family day and do field trips/hikes together. Any work we brought home could be done in the evening, but the outing had the top priority.

 

 

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Rose, just out of curiosity, how do you classify the reading and courses you take? Does that fall under fun alone time for yourself or school prep or something else?

 

I'm asking because I'm working through some similar issues right now, not because I have any answers. ;)

 

I do wonder if those with lack of angst have different personality types.  I remember discussing this with a local fellow homeschooler. She was bewildered by my feelings. After a long discussion we realized much of what bothered me wasn't a concern to her. She simply had no desire to do many of the things I was mentioning, therefore there was no need to wring her hands about how to fit them in. Other people I know just shrug and say there isn't time for everything, oh well.

 

Me? Umm....not so much.....

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Yes, that does make sense. Is there a way you can bundle/streamline your other commitments? How many hours are you working in your business? I realize my situation is different form yours since I did not start homeschooling until 5th grade and did not have the problem of supervising very young kids. I work part time, and my kids often came to the office with me to work on school while I was doing prep work or teaching, so some of my work could be accomplished during some of their schooling. I do not know whether this is feasible with a 2nd grader (it absolutely was with 5th and up)

Also, I have found that I can get away with very minimal time for household chores, so that they really do not have an impact on our day. Maybe there are things you can simply decide not to do? I save elaborate meals for the weekends; week day meals rarely take longer than 20 minutes to cook. Going to the park is more important.

What helped us was to set aside at least one weekend day completely as a family day and do field trips/hikes together. Any work we brought home could be done in the evening, but the outing had the top priority.

 

My work is very seasonal, and I'm in the busy season right now - I do most of my work & earning the first 5 months of the year, then I'm mostly free during the summer and just a bit in the fall.  It's a nice schedule in some ways - summers off, and not too busy in the fall start-up season - but it makes for rough springs.  Right now I teach 4 days a week, and work 2 or even 3 days a week, plus evenings or early mornings on my teaching days.  It's a gruelling schedule, but I have to remind myself that it doesn't last forever . . . 

 

I also spend too much time cooking.  Food is really important to us, and we grow and can and freeze a lot of our own, in addition to buying meat from local ranchers in bulk. We don't eat processed food.  When I look in my kitchen, there's no food in there, just ingredients! ;)   I seem to have lost track of how to cook simply and quickly.  I'm a great cook, but it takes me too much time, I think!

 

If I can make it through the end of April, we'll probably have time for more fun stuff again. 

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Rose, just out of curiosity, how do you classify the reading and courses you take? Does that fall under fun alone time for yourself or school prep or something else?

 

I'm asking because I'm working through some similar issues right now, not because I have any answers. ;)

 

I do wonder if those with lack of angst have different personality types.  I remember discussing this with a local fellow homeschooler. She was bewildered by my feelings. After a long discussion we realized much of what bothered me wasn't a concern to her. She simply had no desire to do many of the things I was mentioning, therefore there was no need to wring her hands about how to fit them in. Other people I know just shrug and say there isn't time for everything, oh well.

 

Me? Umm....not so much.....

 

Mostly it falls under multi-tasking - I watch Coursera classes while I'm cooking  (which we've already established I take too long at) or folding clothes or cleaning the bathroom, and I read at night after the kids are in bed, so I guess that's fun time alone for myself.

 

I'm sure personality has a lot to do with it!  You and I both have admitted to lying awake at night worrying about stuff like writing curricula, so clearly we both need help!  ;)  :eek:  :rolleyes:  :smilielol5:

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I also spend too much time cooking.  Food is really important to us, and we grow and can and freeze a lot of our own, in addition to buying meat from local ranchers in bulk. We don't eat processed food.  When I look in my kitchen, there's no food in there, just ingredients! ;)   I seem to have lost track of how to cook simply and quickly.  I'm a great cook, but it takes me too much time, I think!

 

We do not eat highly processed foods either (I'd say pasta and cheese and flour are processed to some degree - I bake my own bread and cook from scratch, but I do not make my own cheese or grind my own grains).

What helps us is that we do not cook dinner daily - bread with cheese and a salad is a perfectly acceptable meal in our house.

Maybe you can move the canning/freezing to a time when you are not so busy with work?

Find some easy standby recipes for crazy days?

 

 

 

If I can make it through the end of April, we'll probably have time for more fun stuff again.

 

Hang in there!

 

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My kids are in PS.  They leave my house at 8 and come home at 4.  There is very little recess/exercise/outdoor play, the stuff they are learning is pretty much crap, and they are too exhausted when they come home to do much but play a few board games or watch TV.  Talk about no fun and no exercise.

 

The homeschool education you are giving your kids is priceless, even if it doesn't always feel fun.  They are so much better off than most kids in PS!

 

If you are feeling stiffled, get out of the house twice a month for a field trip.  The museum, a cool park, a nature walk, the local ice cream parlor...Twice a month is an easy goal to reach and will keep things fun.

 

 

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When we first pulled our kids from ps, I thought we'd be done school by 1 and have so much free time for play dates and hikes. I also thought we'd have lots of time to delve deeply into subjects, do research projects, etc. One of many misconceptions! Instead, we're sometimes working until dinnertime just to cover the basics. That was until around a month ago...something had to give. I added breaks and recess times to their checklists and miraculously, they are getting their subjects done more quickly and actually spend less time playing. (I also had to cap their bathroom breaks and remove reading materials!) We are finally doing school in closer to the amount of time I originally expected and everyone is much happier and relaxed as a result. I want to have a few more weeks of these compact days to make sure the habits stick and then we will be ready to start delving and playing...

 

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My kids are in PS.  They leave my house at 8 and come home at 4.  There is very little recess/exercise/outdoor play, the stuff they are learning is pretty much crap, and they are too exhausted when they come home to do much but play a few board games or watch TV.  Talk about no fun and no exercise.

 

The homeschool education you are giving your kids is priceless, even if it doesn't always feel fun.  They are so much better off than most kids in PS!

 

If you are feeling stiffled, get out of the house twice a month for a field trip.  The museum, a cool park, a nature walk, the local ice cream parlor...Twice a month is an easy goal to reach and will keep things fun.

 

Thank you so much for reminding me!  :grouphug:

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 So it's not that they are missing out on things, it's that I miss out on doing those "extra" things with them . . . does that make sense?

 

Rose, here's an honest question.  Do you *want* to do the 'extra' things with them? I mean *really* in that secret place in your heart really want to? I ask because actually I don't.  I love teaching them, and that is my special time with them.  I don't actually like to cook with them, or take them to the museum, or  play a game of soccer, or play a game at all.  In *my* free time I like to learn.  Like you, I listen to all sorts of courses and I love to read curriculum and make plans.  This is my fun.  It has taken me some time to come to terms with it, but given that I am with them all day long as a job (and I work very hard at my job), when it is time to leave work, I kind of need to leave them behind too.  Obviously, not completely, but in general they need to spend their free time without me.  I used to feel terrible guilt, like I wasn't a good mom or something, but I am finally ok with it.  The implications of this approach, is that if they need to have fun, they either do it themselves or with their dad, because, honestly, I would rather listen to a lecture while doing the dishes over planing monopoly!  off to hide now :leaving:

 

Ruth in NZ

 

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Rose, here's an honest question.  Do you *want* to do the 'extra' things with them? I mean *really* in that secret place in your heart really want to? I ask because actually I don't.  I love teaching them, and that is my special time with them.  I don't actually like to cook with them, or take them to the museum, or  play a game of soccer, or play a game at all.  In *my* free time I like to learn.  Like you, I listen to all sorts of courses and I love to read curriculum and make plans.  This is my fun.  It has taken me some time to come to terms with it, but given that I am with them all day long as a job (and I work very hard at my job), when it is time to leave work, I kind of need to leave them behind too.  Obviously, not completely, but in general they need to spend their free time without me.  I used to feel terrible guilt, like I wasn't a good mom or something, but I am finally ok with it.  The implications of this approach, is that if they need to have fun, they either do it themselves or with their dad, because, honestly, I would rather listen to a lecture while doing the dishes over planing monopoly!  off to hide now :leaving:

 

Ruth in NZ

 

 

Ruth,

 

Thank you for writing this! I have been struggling with just the opposite, but I've been coming to much the same conclusion. While doing dishes, laundry, or cooking, Lily and I are chatting, or we're doing a read aloud, or I'm just thinking or planning, or I'm focusing on being in the moment--enjoying the scents and textures of the food I'm preparing. I don't want to watch or listen to a lecture. In the evenings, I want to read literature, not more of what I've done all day.

 

I love attending live lectures, so we do that frequently--several times a month. I love the energy in the room. Lily and I spend long days studying together, often eight or more hours, and we read educational magazines during meals, so I look forward to our time spent outside or just talking about life. I have felt so guilty for not spending lots of my free time studying and planning. Starting next semester, we will have plenty of TC lectures during our study time. I can't see me watching them during my free time as well.

 

These are precious moments with Lily that will be over much too soon! There will most likely be years and years for various other pursuits once she's left home.

 

Once again, I think personalities come into play--there is no right or wrong, so no guilt!

 

:grouphug:   Thanks so much, Ruth!

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Rose, here's an honest question.  Do you *want* to do the 'extra' things with them? I mean *really* in that secret place in your heart really want to? I ask because actually I don't.  I love teaching them, and that is my special time with them.  I don't actually like to cook with them, or take them to the museum, or  play a game of soccer, or play a game at all.  In *my* free time I like to learn.  Like you, I listen to all sorts of courses and I love to read curriculum and make plans.  This is my fun.  It has taken me some time to come to terms with it, but given that I am with them all day long as a job (and I work very hard at my job), when it is time to leave work, I kind of need to leave them behind too.  Obviously, not completely, but in general they need to spend their free time without me.  I used to feel terrible guilt, like I wasn't a good mom or something, but I am finally ok with it.  The implications of this approach, is that if they need to have fun, they either do it themselves or with their dad, because, honestly, I would rather listen to a lecture while doing the dishes over planing monopoly!  off to hide now :leaving:

 

Ruth in NZ

 

I had to laugh when I read this b/c mostly I feel the same.  I remember years ago we were watching Suppernanny and I was horrified when Jo (that's her name, I think?) MADE the mom play a board game with the kids.   I told my kids I would have kicked her out over that!  

 

There are things I like doing with my kids, but, as you say, we are with them all day long.  I think it is normal for us to want some free time to do things we think are fun and not feel like we have to provide the fun factor all the time on top of education, a home, food, etc.  

 

I was reading a novel I picked up at the library a couple of weeks ago (during daylight hours :eek:) and Ds came in the room and asked me what I was reading.  When I told him it was just some silly novel I picked up and nothing special he said "Well, even if it isn't great literature, I'm glad to see you doing something for yourself.  I remember when you used to read for fun all the time."  I guess he usually sees me reading stuff for school, or planning for my writing class or 4H.  And I hadn't even realized the shift in reading habits had taken place!

 

To the OP, I do know how you feel.  I've only got 2 years left with my oldest and I can't believe the things we haven't done that I wanted to do.  We are facing junior year and looking at colleges.  Academics and extracurriculars are extremely time consuming and some of the things we enjoyed doing together are getting pushed out.  There is only so much time in a day.  

 

I am thinking over ways I can fit in the things I do have fun doing with them and the things we haven't done and hoping spring will give me the energy.  I do still manage to fit in reading aloud, and I enjoy it and the conversations that arise b/c of it.

 

OP, do you know exactly what it is you feel is missing?  For me it's some of the things I thought we would naturally do together, like writing and drawing that we aren't fitting in other than school assignments.  Plus there are things we used to do that we aren't fitting in so easily anymore--like hiking and gardening.

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  I don't actually like to cook with them, or take them to the museum, or  play a game of soccer, or play a game at all.  In *my* free time I like to learn.  Like you, I listen to all sorts of courses and I love to read curriculum and make plans.

 

 

 

I would like to note that *I* consider going to art, history, and science museums, playing certain types of games (chess and the like), studying self-defense, experimenting in the kitchen or garden, and many other pursuits *learning*. I don't limit learning to reading curriculum or making plans. I like to learn in my free time as well--just not about curricula! ;)

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Rose, here's an honest question.  Do you *want* to do the 'extra' things with them? I mean *really* in that secret place in your heart really want to? I ask because actually I don't.  I love teaching them, and that is my special time with them.  I don't actually like to cook with them, or take them to the museum, or  play a game of soccer, or play a game at all.  In *my* free time I like to learn.  Like you, I listen to all sorts of courses and I love to read curriculum and make plans.  This is my fun.  It has taken me some time to come to terms with it, but given that I am with them all day long as a job (and I work very hard at my job), when it is time to leave work, I kind of need to leave them behind too.  Obviously, not completely, but in general they need to spend their free time without me.  I used to feel terrible guilt, like I wasn't a good mom or something, but I am finally ok with it.  The implications of this approach, is that if they need to have fun, they either do it themselves or with their dad, because, honestly, I would rather listen to a lecture while doing the dishes over planing monopoly!  off to hide now :leaving:

 

Ruth in NZ

 

 

 

Wow, you guys are better than a shrink!  :lol:

 

Again, great question.  And I am definitely conflating things that I would love to do but don't feel we have time for, with things they would like to do that I'd be ok with, with things that I am soooo glad to not have time for because i would hate them! (even though I might feel a little guilty about that).

 

My girls would love to learn to cook, and I would love to teach them . . . But.  Right, this is my time, it's like the only time all day when I'm not interacting with them!!  I go into the kitchen, plug in my laptop and put on my Coursera lecture, or my audio book, and spend an hour cleaning the kitchen - washing all the pots and pans from last night's dinner, which I didn't do then because I wanted some reading time in the evening - and cooking tonight's dinner.  Maybe have a glass of wine.  And it's peaceful!  And I don't have to talk to anyone or answer any questions!  Hard to give that up.

 

My girls would love to garden, and I would love to teach them - gardening is really really important to our family, it's how dh and I met, and we're both 'trained professionals"  :lol:  But here is where the academic time thing comes in.  It's a non-issue for the 2nd grader, she could be done with her work in an hour or two, but my 6th grader has a solid 5+ hours of work a day.  She's not an early riser, so she works 9-12 and 1-3 or 4. Then some days there are extracurriculars.   I have to start dinner at 5.  Not sure when we're going to get in all this gardening time, especially with my current nutso work schedule.  I can't justify to myself taking mornings to garden instead of doing math or writing, that just doesn't feel right.  

 

My girls love to do crafts/projects - and I hate them.  I do.  I am the least crafty person in the world.  My older is fabulous and creative and does crafts and projects on her own.  My younger one will get there.  I don't do crafts, I don't want to, and I don't even feel that bad about it!

 

My little one wants to do "science projects"  I hate projects that don't actually teach anything.  But, she really likes them so I sucked it up and bought Magic Schoolbus kits and she's having a blast.  I'm ok with this compromise.

 

I actually really hate playing games with them.  Dh and I are both so bad at this.  We're too competitive or something, and it seems like games, even Parcheesi, end in tears.  It's so ridiculous.  I buy board games every year at Xmas and think we'll play them, but the last two years games we haven't even opened!  I feel like we should do this and enjoy this more, but we just don't.

 

As far as my fun - yes, I'm just like you describe.  I love reading and learning and researching, planning classes, finding resources, writing syllabi, reading classic lit and nonfiction.  And I interact with my kids ALL DAY LONG so yeah, I don't want to cram every bit of non-school time with more fun stuff we do together.  I'm an introvert, I need some quiet and peace and time in the day when I"m NOT TALKING to recharge my batteries.  So the thought of adding all this "stuff" to the end of a wonderful, academic, school day is not that appealing.  Actually.

 

Now, the exercise thing:  This I really do need to change.  We don't get enough.  I don't wanna, but I need to, and I need to make them.  Here's a suck it up buttercup for me!

 

Very enlightening discussion, as usual!  :laugh:

 

ETA:  The "getting out in nature" thing . . . we would all like to do more of this, but again I bang against the academic/seatwork time for older dd.  This is pretty much relegated to the weekends, although for awhile we were doing a weekly trip to the local nature preserve.  We'll have to start that up again once my work schedule gets lighter and dd's play is over.  

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I would like to note that *I* consider going to art, history, and science museums, playing certain types of games (chess and the like), studying self-defense, experimenting in the kitchen or garden, and many other pursuits *learning*. I don't limit learning to reading curriculum or making plans. I like to learn in my free time as well--just not about curricula! ;)

 

Oh dear, I did not mean for my post to imply that!  I just want to learn what *I* want to learn during *my* free time, which is not art, museums, cooking, gardening, etc. Of course you can learn in all those areas, I just don't want to. :001_smile:

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Rose, I did not mention before, but I heavily use the 'school holidays' to have my kids do the extras.  In NZ we have four 10 week terms with 2 weeks of holiday in between (and 6 weeks at christmas/summer). Although I could use this time to teach my kids directly, I usually just pay to put them in school holiday programs.  This gives them time with other teachers, and time for me to rejuvenate.  (So still not doing stuff *with* them)

 

So over the years we have done school holiday programs in:

tennis

art/craft

drawing

watercolour

gymnastics

drama (younger was in a play, so 60 hours over 2 weeks)

skiing

golf

 

So, anything I think that we are not getting in (mostly art and skill-based sports), I just schedule during the school holidays.   Works like a charm.

---------------

 

The other thing I do is *plan* to attend two performances/exibitions each term.  The homeschoolers often get cheap deals, or I just look for free concerts (and send my dh so I don't have to go).  So last year my kids attended:

2 plays

1 opera

2 symphonies

1 string quartet

2 travelling exhibitions at the museum

 

And this year, Shakespeare is free at the botanical gardens!

 

I consider this part of their music class.  We don't really do 'the arts' because of our heavy focus in music, so this is my way of giving a bit of balance.

-----------------

 

Finally, to make sure that I get it all in but don't over book, I decide at the beginning of the year how many classes and hours I think is reasonable for each child.  So for my older: 6 classes, each taking 6 hours, so 36 hours each week.  So when I lay it all out, I have to be *realistic*. Mandarin, for example ends up only being a half class (split with history).  Because he has an hour lesson each week, he only has 2 hours remaining, which translates into 4 30-minute study sessions.  If I want him to do more, then something else has to go.

 

This also applies to all the art performances/exhibits we go to.  On the weeks when one of these comes up, they practice violin less, or I pull time from another subject they are ahead on.  It must balance. 

 

Obviously, as a student enters highschool, he/she needs to do more on weeks when more is required, but your expectations on time spent for each class must add up to your overall annual goals, *and* not go over. 

 

Does that make sense?

 

Ruth in NZ

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. . . In NZ we have four 10 week terms with 2 weeks of holiday in between (and 6 weeks at christmas/summer). Although I could use this time to teach my kids directly, I usually just pay to put them in school holiday programs. . . .

 

The other thing I do is *plan* to attend two performances/exibitions each term.  The homeschoolers often get cheap deals, or I just look for free concerts (and send my dh so I don't have to go).

 

 

Interesting!  I wonder what would change if sending your dh to the activities listed wasn't an option. Many husbands work long hours, travel extensively, or aren't present at all. For the record, I enjoy attending performances and exhibits with my daughter, so I'm not trying to find ways out of them. I'm just curious what you would do if sending him wasn't an option. I also wonder what he thinks of being sent. ;)

 

I also sometimes wonder in general  about the differences in the ratio of researching and planning versus implementing and interacting. Again, no right or wrong, so no judgment! It's just a curiosity of mine. :ph34r:  I wonder if some of the researching and planning is more from enjoyment (or avoidance! ;) ), as opposed to necessity.

 

I have a tendency to imagine people spending eight plus hours a day interacting for studies, then spending countless hours researching and putting together elaborate plans. Rationally I know that's probably not the case, but as I've said before, the rational mind doesn't always win here! ;)  That is one reason I appreciate the details such as the ones I bolded. I can see that sending the kids to camps throughout the year would free up lots of uninterrupted time for planning, as would having your dh do history and outsourcing music and foreign language. I keep thinking people are spending 9am-5/6pm doing studies, and then spending the rest of the evening reading curricula and planning. :001_huh:  Apparently that's how I like to spend my free time--pondering how others spend theirs! :tongue_smilie:

 

Seriously though, this thread has been enlightening! I appreciate the opportunity to see glimpses into the lives of others. In many ways, it helps me to better understand my own.

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Woodland Mist, for more data points - I spend weekend time planning, mostly, (when I'm not working), and I do spend an hour or two a day either reading things for future use (prereading, research-type reading, etc.) and watching Coursera or TC lectures.  I also get chunks of "free" time in the summer, the kids do a 3-week drama camp.  I wish we could do more "fun stuff" via camps and activities, there are so many things available my kids would like to do, but I have to limit what I sign them up for due to budgetary constraints, more than time constraints.

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Woodland Mist, for more data points - I spend weekend time planning, mostly, (when I'm not working), and I do spend an hour or two a day either reading things for future use (prereading, research-type reading, etc.) and watching Coursera or TC lectures.  I also get chunks of "free" time in the summer, the kids do a 3-week drama camp.  I wish we could do more "fun stuff" via camps and activities, there are so many things available my kids would like to do, but I have to limit what I sign them up for due to budgetary constraints, more than time constraints.

 

Did you do this on purpose? To slowly send me 'round the bend? :willy_nilly:

 

I'm finding myself trying to resist the urge to start making time maps, charts, and graphs of various posters' schedules--highlighting different categories in various colors. . .

 

I need to "unfollow" this thread. . . :tongue_smilie: ;)

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Did you do this on purpose? To slowly send me 'round the bend? :willy_nilly:

 

I'm finding myself trying to resist the urge to start making time maps, charts, and graphs of various posters' schedules--highlighting different categories in various colors. . .

 

I need to "unfollow" this thread. . . :tongue_smilie: ;)

 

If it is of any comfort to you:

I spent WAY less time on schooling and interacting with my middle schoolers than many other posters here, have never "scheduled" or "lesson planned" anything,  and my DD's outcome does not seem to indicate that anything had been missing.

 

 

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If it is of any comfort to you:

I spent WAY less time on schooling and interacting with my middle schoolers than many other posters here, have never "scheduled" or "lesson planned" anything,  and my DD's outcome does not seem to indicate that anything had been missing.

 

 

Thank you! I'm finding I spend minimal time planning these days and keep thinking I'm doing something wrong. I spend time researching and choosing resources, then we spend time using them. I don't keep actively planning year-round. From time-to-time I may look for additional resources, but not constantly.

 

I'm reassured to know I'm not the only one.

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Did you do this on purpose? To slowly send me 'round the bend? :willy_nilly:

 

I'm finding myself trying to resist the urge to start making time maps, charts, and graphs of various posters' schedules--highlighting different categories in various colors. . .

 

I need to "unfollow" this thread. . . :tongue_smilie: ;)

 

 

I'm not trying to make you crazy!!!   I do this stuff because it's fun for me, not because I have to or because anybody else does it.  To me, the secret, fun bonus of homeschooling is that I get to spend all this time thinking and planning and reading about stuff, fantasizing about the most fun class ever, and re-reading or pre-reading a bunch of stuff I missed or have forgotten.  I don't share it to make anybody feel bad, or to say it should be this way.  In fact, it's a guilty pleasure for me.  I "confessed" officially on the confessions thread that I often find it more fun to plan for future studies than to teach the children in front of me . . . this is what I feel guilty about.  :ohmy:

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I've been working all weekend.  I have to work today till 8.  Tuesday I have to go out in the field (but get to take the kids with me! Yay!)

 

I decided that tomorrow we're going to have a book stack day.  After math, we're going to sit around in our pajamas and read all the awesome books that have been piling up around here, that we never have time to get to.  And that is all.  I think it will be fun.  :D

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We are trying to stay home as often as possible on Sundays to focus on renewing our home and ourselves. We catch-up on any household tasks and laundry. In the winter we make soups and other meals for the week. We also sometimes have special seasonal meals. In the summer when we eat more salads and lighter fare, we focus on gardening and other outside play and work. (Which often translates to just reading outside.... shhhh...... ;) .)

 

We've done this for several years, but as we are out of the house more and more during the week for classes and other activities, these days become more necessary and treasured.

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Interesting!  I wonder what would change if sending your dh to the activities listed wasn't an option. Many husbands work long hours, travel extensively, or aren't present at all. For the record, I enjoy attending performances and exhibits with my daughter, so I'm not trying to find ways out of them. I'm just curious what you would do if sending him wasn't an option. I also wonder what he thinks of being sent. ;)

 

I also sometimes wonder in general  about the differences in the ratio of researching and planning versus implementing and interacting. Again, no right or wrong, so no judgment! It's just a curiosity of mine. :ph34r:  I wonder if some of the researching and planning is more from enjoyment (or avoidance! ;) ), as opposed to necessity.

 

I have a tendency to imagine people spending eight plus hours a day interacting for studies, then spending countless hours researching and putting together elaborate plans. Rationally I know that's probably not the case, but as I've said before, the rational mind doesn't always win here! ;)  That is one reason I appreciate the details such as the ones I bolded. I can see that sending the kids to camps throughout the year would free up lots of uninterrupted time for planning, as would having your dh do history and outsourcing music and foreign language. I keep thinking people are spending 9am-5/6pm doing studies, and then spending the rest of the evening reading curricula and planning. :001_huh:  Apparently that's how I like to spend my free time--pondering how others spend theirs! :tongue_smilie:

 

Seriously though, this thread has been enlightening! I appreciate the opportunity to see glimpses into the lives of others. In many ways, it helps me to better understand my own.

 

Yikes!  I look so lazy!  Outsourcing to tutors, my husband, and holiday programs.  Sitting around reading curricula and planning, but not actually interacting much with my children.  :001_smile:   How embarrassing. :tongue_smilie:

 

But in reality, I spend all my time actually doing the school work that my older son is doing.  I'm not talking about planning.  I am talking about actually doing 20 hours a week of math, physics, and reading literature and literary analysis.  I have to do this, or I would need to outsource his entire education to the local university.  Which right about now is sounding pretty good :thumbup1:   When my kids are in school holiday programs, I study, not plan, but study.  (well, ok, I do plan also).  For the younger, I am learning Mandarin, so I can be the conversation buddy that he needs.  You don't know me, but I promise you that auditory processing is not my forte. 

 

As for dh, he LOVES the artsy kind of stuff and is quite happy to go.  We can get kids tickets to the opera for $15, but adult tickets in the nose bleed seats are $75.  So it actually saves a bunch of money for me not to go. And just because I feel a wee bit exposed and defensive, I will add that dh is current working a full time job while concurrently doing a part time PhD, so he *is* that very busy working parent.  He just *wants* to be involved with the kids, so reading with them and going to the arts events are his kind of fun.  You ask what I would do without him, and I absolutely think that my dc's education would suffer.  It is just easier with 2 parents than 1.  No question.

 

Finally, I will say that I used to be an extrovert.  I was a school teacher after all.  People around me constantly.  But I am changing.  I *need* time now to myself, and if I don't get it, I start to go insane. Honestly, I think that part of it is working with my very intense (but lovely) older boy.  Perhaps the personalities of your children dictate how much time you can spend with them, I don't know.  But I have always said to my dh, and now I say it to myself "take care of yourself, so you can take care of your family." It is absolutely critical to my ability to do this long term that I have time to do what *I* want to do.  And I make no apologies for that.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

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Yikes!  I look so lazy!  Outsourcing to tutors, my husband, and holiday programs.  Sitting around reading curricula and planning, but not actually interacting much with my children.  :001_smile:   How embarrassing. :tongue_smilie:

 

But in reality, I spend all my time actually doing the school work that my older son is doing.  I'm not talking about planning.  I am talking about actually doing 20 hours a week of math, physics, and reading literature and literary analysis.  I have to do this, or I would need to outsource his entire education to the local university.  Which right about now is sounding pretty good :thumbup1:   When my kids are in school holiday programs, I study, not plan, but study.  (well, ok, I do plan also).  For the younger, I am learning Mandarin, so I can be the conversation buddy that he needs.  You don't know me, but I promise you that auditory processing is not my forte. 

 

As for dh, he LOVES the artsy kind of stuff and is quite happy to go.  We can get kids tickets to the opera for $15, but adult tickets in the nose bleed seats are $75.  So it actually saves a bunch of money for me not to go. And just because I feel a wee bit exposed and defensive, I will add that dh is current working a full time job while concurrently doing a part time PhD, so he *is* that very busy working parent.  He just *wants* to be involved with the kids, so reading with them and going to the arts events are his kind of fun.  You ask what I would do without him, and I absolutely think that my dc's education would suffer.  It is just easier with 2 parents than 1.  No question.

 

Finally, I will say that I used to be an extrovert.  I was a school teacher after all.  People around me constantly.  But I am changing.  I *need* time now to myself, and if I don't get it, I start to go insane. Honestly, I think that part of it is working with my very intense (but lovely) older boy.  Perhaps the personalities of your children dictate how much time you can spend with them, I don't know.  But I have always said to my dh, and now I say it to myself "take care of yourself, so you can take care of your family." It is absolutely critical to my ability to do this long term that I have time to do what *I* want to do.  And I make no apologies for that.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

Ruth,

I'm sorry if I put you on the defensive. I didn't mean to. I was just trying to understand. I will not comment any further to avoid any more misunderstandings or hurt feelings. :grouphug:

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