Should I have my VERY young 6 year old repeat 1st? I think I made a HUGE mistake!

[gigi638]

My daughter turned 6 Sept. 12 of 1st grade, actually after our school's cutoff. So technically, she should not even be in 1st grade, but K.  However, she did K at 4-5 at a private school and since she had officially completed K, was able to move on to 1st.  NOW I am totally regretting my decision!  She is technically on grade level in reading, but is still not able to be successful with the reading comprehension tests or a lot of work that she has to do independently. In math, she is struggling even more!  And I just fear that it will keep catching up with her if I don't try to correct what I did wrong!  If I could turn back time and put her in K, I would in a heartbeat!  But I can't do that anymore and to do that half way through the year - would be so detrimental!  So, would you continue moving her on and pray that eventually developmentally things would "click" or would you definitely have her repeat 1st next year? And if you would have repeat? Do you think the ramifications would be TOO much in 1st grade? Has anyone had to do this and how did their child react? I know K would have been the ideal grade to have done this, since it was a new school- now it makes things so much more complicated and I feel so guilty for making this HUGE mistake for my very young child!!! :0

[SKL]

That's a tough situation, since it sounds like your gut is telling you that your daughter is set up to fail sooner or later.  Or am I reading you wrong?

If you feel she doesn't have a chance of getting reasonably caught up with the class, then I would start preparing her for the reality of giving 1st grade another go.  Put it in as positive a spin as you can.  For example, "you were so lucky, you got to do 1st grade instead of KG this year like other kids your age.  So now you have a real head start on next year.  All the kids your age are going to 1st grade next year too."  If I had to do this with my child, I might switch schools at the same time to avoid the external stigma.  (But my kids' school only has one teacher per grade.)

 

My eldest is also young and has struggled.  I have talked about her a lot on this forum.  She was recruited for early KG, did fine in KG, and was accepted without question into 1st grade.  1st grade didn't go so well because of listening problems and because her math foundation was insufficient.  But for several reasons*, I decided to keep plugging along.  I printed off what practice worksheets I could find on the school's website, and ordered some supplementary materials.  We worked at home most days (probably 8-10 hours per week) to make up for what she was not hearing in school.  She finished the year OK and is doing better in 2nd grade.

 

*My reasons for not repeating included:  younger sister is in same class; she is a very good social fit for her class; her willingness to work hard at home; stigma of repeating; a mama gut belief that she has the ability once she clears some hurdles.  She was in several therapies that were slowly but surely helping.

 

I also observed that the spring semester went a lot better then the fall semester, because it was easier to keep a consistent schedule, without all the holidays and other distractions of the fall season.

 

I have always been OK with the fact that this child is not Einstein and she's not going to be in the highest achieving group in school, regardless of age.  I am very satisfied with her reading level of 3.1 even if it's below her class's average.  She's finally getting pretty much on track with math, which looked like a complete disaster last year.  I am glad I decided to choose the path of supporting her rather than holding her back.  (Though my hair is whiter for sure.)  We still do extra work every day, but it's not usually out of desperation, LOL.  I think she's better for the hard work and for the fact that she sees herself win the tough battles via effort and attitude.

 

I think you need to listen to your mama gut on this.

[Elisabet1]

My daughter turned 6 Sept. 12 of 1st grade, actually after our school's cutoff. So technically, she should not even be in 1st grade, but K.  However, she did K at 4-5 at a private school and since she had officially completed K, was able to move on to 1st.  NOW I am totally regretting my decision!  She is technically on grade level in reading, but is still not able to be successful with the reading comprehension tests or a lot of work that she has to do independently. In math, she is struggling even more!  And I just fear that it will keep catching up with her if I don't try to correct what I did wrong!  If I could turn back time and put her in K, I would in a heartbeat!  But I can't do that anymore and to do that half way through the year - would be so detrimental!  So, would you continue moving her on and pray that eventually developmentally things would "click" or would you definitely have her repeat 1st next year? And if you would have repeat? Do you think the ramifications would be TOO much in 1st grade? Has anyone had to do this and how did their child react? I know K would have been the ideal grade to have done this, since it was a new school- now it makes things so much more complicated and I feel so guilty for making this HUGE mistake for my very young child!!! :0

If you could home school, the labeled grade level will not matter anymore. 

 

My daughter really struggled in 2nd grade. I home schooled her for 5 years. By the time she went back, and stayed in age grade, she was way ahead of everyone else. Kids do not learn on a straight curve. They learn faster here, slower there, etc. By high school, many kids are way ahead and some are way behind. I prefer mine to be ahead, so, I kept her in her age grade despite being a good 2 years ahead of everyone else when she went back.

[gigi638]

No unfortunately I cannot afford to homeschool her!  I actually work at the school she attends.  SO that would not be an option for me!  My only options are either to put her back in K right now ( which I don't think I would consider AT ALL since she is not struggling significantly), have her repeat 1st next year (and just tell her it's because of the age factor) or move her on to 2nd and hope she just evens out!  But my heart feels like the latter would be sooooo risky!! that I don't know If I could afford to make a mistake twice!  Where then it would impact her EVEN more!    

[SKL]

... she is not struggling significantly...   

 

I am confused.  If she is not struggling significantly, than I would not consider retention.  But it sounded in your OP like she is struggling significantly.  Is she just having to work hard to keep up, and you really want her to be an acer?  Or does she seem to be at risk of failing without serious intervention?

[SKL]

I would not have a child repeat 1st just to put her at/near the top of the class.  The negatives of that would outweigh the positives IMO.

[gigi638]

OK- let me clarify and I will probably get a much clearer picture once I meet with her teacher (which is tomorrow). Her performance is inconsistent- on some reading assessments, she is performing on level while on others she is at a K level.  Her writing skills according to the teacher are below level.  And with math, she is not getting the concepts at all and when she comes home, I need to basically be the one responsible for teaching her all over again!  She does get it after working 1 on 1 with me, but with sooooooo much support that it's just becoming WAY too much and it is starting to become frustrating!  Trust me if I stepped back and did not study as much as I did with her, she would not pass the math test at the end of the week!  I tried it as an experiment once- and she indeed did not pass it!  there are just a lot of concepts that are IMO over her head right now!  The other part of it (which I will address with the teacher tomorrow b/c it does not make any sense to me) is that if she is ON reading level according to this one test they gave her, then why is she consistently not able to pass any of reading comprehension assessments on a weekly basis! I agree with the fact that her basic reading skills are on level, but IMO in order to pass that comprehension test they are giving her, she would need to be at a higher level!  Which brings me to the point of why are they even giving these tests to these kids, to set them up for failure??? The tests come home weekly and she is already trying to hide them from me when the come home because she knows she didn't do well!  I see the CURRICULUM hurting my child's self esteem and attitude towards school!  I can't change the curriculum though! 

[Ravin]

There's more to reading than comprehension. If she's on track or ahead for decoding and fluency, low comprehension might not drop her overall level too low.

 

If I had a re-do with DD, I wouldn't have let her start K early. As it is, I got a private psychoeducational eval before deciding NOT to hold her back a grade before putting her into brick and mortar school next year (when she'll start 6th).

 

As it is, the evaluator bent over backwards to reassure us that she's on grade level and will do fine, despite her abysmal standardized test scores and my own assessment that she's at least a grade level behind in most areas of math. Apparently her strengths make up for her weaknesses. I won't be shocked if it doesn't go well, though, because I still have reservations. The learning environment of one-on-one instruction she's had up to now is very different from a classroom situation, and the evaluator didn't seem to appreciate that.

 

Follow your gut. The sooner you make that sort of decision, the easier it will be.

[gigi638]

Yes and the decision is a very hard one!  so would you put back in K now or let her finish up ( that way I could see how it goes from here to then) and then if  she's not where she needs to be overall, then have her do 1st again?

[SKL]

When you meet with the teacher tomorrow, ask her how the class as a whole is doing on these things.  It seems to be a common thread at this age that the math isn't making sense (and the parents find it very strange too), and that kids are bombing the reading comprehension assessments.

 

I posted recently because even my very advanced reader (not the kid I mentioned above) flunked her latest reading comprehension assessment.  I think the problem is that they are trying to teach concepts that the kids are not getting - whether because the teacher isn't teaching it well, or the kids aren't developmentally ready for it.  I'm working on addressing that at home.  But overall, my kids are doing OK, and the overall reading grade reflects phonics, independent reading (accelerated reader results), and some other stuff.  And, I know that based on how well my kids read, they don't belong in a lower grade.  Maybe they need to review some concepts, but that does not justify drastic measures IMO.

 

As for the math, most parents seem to agree that it gets better in 2nd grade.

[SKL]

Be careful how you talk to the teacher, though - some teachers are biased against younger kids and this could prevent an objective discussion.  If you go in with "is she too young, should I retain" you may be offering the teacher an easy out and she might jump at it.

 

If the choice is between repeating 1st vs. putting her back in KG now, I would NOT put her back mid-stream.  It would be very conspicuous to both her 1st grade and KG classmates, and cause an unnecessary disruption for her (assuming she's not unhappy in school).  I would just communicate the decision to the teacher and child, and relax the pressure for the rest of the year.

[EKS]

What are you doing with her at home?  (I'm assuming that since this is an afterschooling board, that you're open to afterschooling.)   I would have her read aloud every day.  If she is shaky on phonics, I would get a phonics program and use it with her.  For math, I'd use Singapore math or RightStart alongside whatever the school is using.  I'd also drill whatever facts they're supposed to be learning in school (and when you get to them, whatever facts are being presented in whatever afterschool math program you choose).

 

With some consistent input on your end, I bet she will do just fine.

[mathnerd]

I agree with Kai. Get Singapore Math and Miquon math and afterschool her. SM has many supplements and all of them are excellent. Miquon uses a lot of manipulative which are helpful to build strong concpets through hands on play.

Reading aloud and discussing the story with her and then asking her to narrate the story back to you in her own words help in improving comprehension. If you want a workbooky style reading comprehension book, there are plenty of recommendations on the general education board - I have used and liked the Reading Detective series from Critical Thinking COmpany: http://www.criticalthinking.com/reading-detective-beginning.html . But, you don't really need it if you can work with your child on the reading and listening comprehension using books at her reading level. Good luck.

[gigi638]

I agree with many of your comments! And of course if she were at least average in all areas and happy socially, I wouldn't make her do 1st again either! But I have to tend to disagree with your comment that age will not magically help a student "get something".  That is totally not true!  Developmentally, because of age, there are just things that children can and cannot do!  This is the whole rationale behind parents that "redshirt their kids in Kindergarten"  and I can tell you that at least 70-80% of the 1st graders that are struggling at my school are the young ones (summer b-days) . There are children in her class that are a whole year older than her and you're going to tell me that doesn't make a difference!  And I think that is a lot of the problem with her!  IF she's not getting that 47 is smaller than 72, I strongly feel that it is because developmentally she is just not there!  And when she does get it, I can just FEEL it that I am pushing her to do something, she's possibly not ready for!  I don't know how else to explain it!  Even with the comprehension, she can read it, but not well enough to comprehend it independently!  Sure, she has great comprehension when I read to her!  The issue is independently!  Now, do I think that what they are expecting them to do is insane for all 1st graders in general ( and not just my daughter) YES! I do! I think that having to read independently a one page long story with higher order thinking comprehension questions is way over most 1st graders at this time of year!  MAYBE...... by the end of the year, but definitely not now! But unfortunately I can't change the system and I can't homeschool her!   And I have to do what is best for her! It's not about having her at the top of the class! Is about having her feel confident in her abilities! Now, that could change from here to the end of the year....time will tell.

[lmrich]

I was once told by a counselor when debating to allow my dd to start school early. Think about the end. Do you want her to go to college with one year less maturity than the others? Age does matter. Kids' brains mature, and then they can handle certain concepts with ease. Telling time was always a struggle for the first graders and then in second so much easier. With algebra there is an expression that kids should not start until they have hair under their arms. And yes I know that that occurs at different ages for everybody, but I say stack the deck in your favor so she will not spend her school years playing catch up.

[Uff Da!]

 IF she's not getting that 47 is smaller than 72, I strongly feel that it is because developmentally she is just not there!  And when she does get it, I can just FEEL it that I am pushing her to do something, she's possibly not ready for!  I don't know how else to explain it! 

 

I  think Rosie's cuisenaire rod videos could really help both of you with the math.  Your DD could watch the videos with you.  The rods are worthwhile investment that will help for years- just look at the advanced long division videos to get an idea of how useful these are.  http://www.educationunboxed.com/

 

You seem like a thoughtful parent and I assume your "huge mistake" was what looked like the best option for this year at that time you made the decision.  Please don't beat yourself up over it.  

[snowbeltmom]

Developmentally, because of age, there are just things that children can and cannot do!  .

 

:iagree: 

 

I have friends who teach elementary school who believe that the Common Core standards that our public schools now must follow are not developmentally appropriate for the early grades.  There is speculation among the teachers that I know personally that my state is going to adjust the cut-off age for starting K.

 

If it were me, unless your d is absolutely miserable right now, I would let her finish out the year with her current class.  I would continue to read and work on math topics at home in a low stress manner.  I would make math fun by playing games rather than doing activities your d would perceive as more school work.  Dominoes are Racko are two games that would help with math that would also be fun.

 

If after reading and playing math games after school with you, your d is still having trouble at the end of the year, I would request that she be placed in first grade next year with another teacher.  I would explain to your d that she is not old enough for second grade, so she does not feel like she has "failed" before she has even begun.

 

Good luck. :grouphug:

 

[Caroline]

70-80% struggling and 20-30% not...why call it age then?  Other factors are involved; most likely degree of poverty and experience with numeracy concepts.

 

I think you misunderstood her. 70-80% of the struggling kids are young. Not 70-80% of the total kids are struggling.

[SKL]

Please don't feel like anyone is trying to talk you into something your gut tells you is wrong.  We're just giving you some things to think about, to ask yourself, to try out if you want.

 

My average-ability kid has an October birthday and is 4 months younger than her next youngest classmate.  She was kind of a mess last year, as mentioned above.  However, this fall she mastered adding and subracting 3-digit numbers with regrouping, and she just aced (100%) the unit test on multiplication and division.  It does seem that some things clicked in the intervening time period, and for her, that means she has pretty much caught up with her class in math.  This may or may not happen for your daughter.  I think you have to do what feels right for your daughter; I'm just giving you some personal experience to consider.

 

If you decide to have her repeat, she will be in good company age-wise.  It won't be a tragedy if you spin it positively.

[swellmomma]

My dd6 turned 6 sept 19th.  If she was in ps I would have put her in K this year, instead she is home and registered in 1st but I may reregister her in 1st again next year.  I did the same thing with ds10 who turned 6 aug 28 the year he was registered in 1st.  A lot of schools will not allow a child to be held back without a fight.  One of the reasons I homeschool now is the school refused to hold back oldest in 2nd when he very much needed to repeat it, he was struggling with the 1st and 2nd grade materials and 3rd is such a big jump.  A former friend from down the street actually ended up switching schools because the one her kids were in refused to hold back, she switch schools and reregistered in K and 1st and both are doing very very well now compared to last year when everything was such a struggle.  If your gut says that being moved on to 2nd at the end of the year is not the right fit don't do it.  But do give until the end of the year to decide and even into the summer.  Some kids appear to be really struggling and then all of a sudden everything clicks and suddenly you will see she is ready for 2nd next year after all.  Wait it out, keep helping her now and trust your gut.

[gigi638]

So, I decided to write this as a follow up, as I really now have even more questions than before since meeting with the teacher. So, it seems that wether she is on level for 1st grade is really not so much the question! But the pace of the class and the fact that there are so many academically high kids in there. So let me explain, because it is a bit complicated and I never explained any of this before!

My daughter is basically in a 1st grade dual language class, where they spend half the day in English and half the day in Spanish. And everything (reading,writing, math, science, etc.) is being taught in spanish and english throughout the day! This is her first year in this program. And the students for this program were very carefully selected and had to meet a certain criteria. They needed to be at a rigby 8 (which is bascially like a mid 1st grade level) in order to be able to participate. She was exactly at a level 8 in August.

So the teacher is telling me that what she thinks the problem really is, is more the pace of the class and the instruction itself, that is advanced. In other words, my very young 6 year old, that should be in Kindergarten is practically in a 1st grade gifted classroom. So for example, she has harder spelling words than the other 1st grade classes. With math, she told me that it is the same curriculum, but that she just goes at a faster pace. So for example, where as a regular 1st grade class may take 3 weeks to go over a chapter, she may be doing it in 2 weeks. 
So, she has told me that she needs to see where she is going to be from here until the end of the year, but that as of now she does not think that she would recommend her to go on to the dual language program for 2nd next year based on her difficulties keeping up now.

So I think this kind of answers a lot of questions for me, but at the same time I am more confused then ever. Obviously, would I have put her in the K dual language program (which again, by her age is where she should have been) vs.1st, although the pace is probably the same, the material itself is not as difficult obviously. So after meeting with the teacher and hearing her out, I think there are several things compounding the situation here a) that she is very young and possibly wasn't developmentally ready to handle some aspects of 1st grade, b) That she sees that she is at the bottom of her class in comparison to her abilities and therefore it is hurting her self esteem, self confidence etc. and c) that since she is being instructed in 2 languages, that in itself can be challenging enough.

So basically by the end of the year, I would have to decide to move her on to a regular 2nd grade class where the pace would be slower or just let her do 1st again (with her same aged peers) and stay in the dual language program. I would hate to give up the opportunity of the dual language program as this for so many reasons, is such a great thing! However, is it really reasonable to retain her, when they are telling me that she is technically on grade level. On top of everything, the spanish teacher told me that she is doing really well with the reading in spanish and that when she assessed them today, she was one of her highest readers in spanish! I am so confused! and I honestly I just want to do the right thing for her!

[SKL]

Wow, that is interesting and confounding.  Given this new information, I would let her plug along for a little longer before deciding, and give her some more intensive support with math at home.

 

If she is still struggling with the program toward the end of the year, my question would be, how important is the rigorous dual language program in the long run?  Is this something they offer throughout the 12 years of school, at a similarly challenging level?  If so, is it even an option to have someone repeat a year and still stay in the program?  I could see the value of having her stay in a rigorous long-term program even though it may mean taking a year longer to graduate, because the difference at graduation is likely to be more than a year in her favor.  However, if this is just a short-term program (e.g., only to 4th grade), then what is next?  Will she be one of the oldest and most advanced kids being sent back into the regular classrooms again?  The answer to this would impact my decision.

[NASDAQ]

I would give up the dual language program. I know approximately one bajillion kids who went through French immersion (which is what we do up in Canuckistan) and only a tiny handful who got anything more out of it than a slight boost in high school French.

[stripe]

Why are there all those Mamapedia links in your post to rather obvious terms like, say, "language" and "kindergarten"? Just curious. 

[gigi638]

Oh! Didn't even notice the mamapedia links that come out highlighted until you mentioned it.  What happened is that I first started asking for advice on this on the mamapedia website and have continued the thread on there as well, as many are asking what the outcome was after my teacher conference yesterday.   I first typed up my follow up on that website, so I just cut and paste and then put it on here so I wouldn't have to retype the whole thing out again.  I have NO idea why it is doing that, but it just automatically did that.  Sorry about the confusion with that!  

[East Coast Sue]

Since I have always homeschooled my four children, the only experience I have with starting school early/very young is from my own childhood. For whatever reason, my parents decided to have me start 1st grade at 5 years old (turned 6 in late December). I did not attend kindergarten, but since my mom worked at the school they allowed me to be tested with the kindergarteners for 1st grade readiness.  Apparently I passed that test. I do remember being in the middle or sometimes lower end of my class early on. I remember having a hard time with the hours and hours of writing that were required. Maybe I would have had those struggles even if I was with my age-mates.  By third grade I no longer struggled much at all. In the end, I graduated with lots of AP, college prep or honors classes and was at the top 5% of my high school class. I turned 17 just a few months before graduation but it really wasn't a big deal. So, it was not a bad decision at all for me, but I do remember having a hard time early on.  I think I learned to love a challenge as I selected some really difficult courses in both high school and college and I loved the harder classes. 

[SKL]

My personal experience was like that of Sue in Tx, except that I only had trouble with certain things early on (as far as I remember).  One thing I recall was that despite being a good reader, I always dreaded the reading comprehension assignments because I apparently could not read the author's mind as well as they wanted me to, LOL.

 

When I talk to my mom about education stuff, her advice is to not worry about any "results" until 3rd grade.  She has 6 kids; 3 of them started KG at 4, and 2 had summer birthdays.  All of them ended up being in some sort of accelerated, gifted, or honors program eventually, none ever failed anything, none wishes she had put them in later as far as I know.  And, there are lifelong benefits to challenging kids more and exposing them to things earlier, at least according to some experts.

 

I do feel that the common core stuff or whatever other trend is pushing stuff down more, and there is more pressure on parents to put young kids in later.  Though it does not sound like the OP is being pressured over her child's age.

[Lecka]

What does the teacher say? 

 

The teacher may share your concerns, or the teacher may think she is doing fine overall (with some strengths and some weaknesses).

 

I would not ONLY go by what the teacher said, but I would definitely take it into consideration.

 

Especially if you have the same opinion!

[gigi638]

Just to answer some of the questions that came up on others posts.........the dual language program just started at my school and is currently being implemented in the K and 1st grade classes, it will be continued up to 5th at our elementary school.  So basically my daughters first grade class from this year will move on to 2nd and so forth.   As for middle school there are options as well, it wouldn't necessarily be called dual language per se, as it wouldn't be the way it will have been done at the elementary (50/50).  But they would have the second language opportunity still for a portion of the day (not sure exactly how that would work though).  So I guess it would be a long term thing, unless of course she would want out of it.  But I don't see why she would, she hasn't expressed that she doesn't like the spanish, and we do speak spanish at home.  Her first language was spanish, although she is currently stronger in English right now.

 

So if I put her back in K (which is honestly what I am least inclined to do, because I think it would be way too disruptive for her) I could put her in the Kindergarten dual language program. The teacher's opinion at this point, is that she does not see her stressed out in the classroom and that she does not feel she is doing that poorly that it would warrant taking her out mid year.  That the impact of starting a new class, with a new teacher, new friends, etc. might be worst and might send her a message of failure being put back a grade.  She is still progressing, just finding it hard to keep up, particularly in math.  

 

If I retain her in 1st, I could also keep her in that dual language program, and have her 1st again with the same teachers. Also, I had a long conversation with the principal about my situation and she felt very badly about the whole thing and said she felt partly responsible because they should have made me put her in K since the bottom line is that those are the AGE RULES for our district.  I have of course, told her it was no one's fault and that at the time we all agreed that this was the best thing for her!  So she told me that if I chose to retain her, she would not mark it as a retention in the school system, so that it would not affect her in the future and she would never come up in the system as a retained student. Honestly, I don't know how much I should I even be concerned about that small detail, but I guess it is nice that they suggested that and are concerned about how it might impact her down the road!

[SKL]

Hmm, I did not even know they would have a "retained" marker in kids' files.  Shows what I don't know.  :)

 

I did not realize she had such a good Spanish background.  Another good reason to keep her in the program if at all possible, because it might actually make it easier for her to learn stuff explained in Spanish as well as English.

 

I guess I'd give it some more time and keep options open for a while.  I would not worry too much about the reading comprehension stuff, because many good readers have that problem.  I would read challenging stuff with her every day and discuss it, and work on the math every day, including use of manipulatives, drilling facts, and word problems.  It is nice that you have a couple of "outs" if she doesn't catch up by year-end.

[RootAnn]

I started off this thread thinking one thing, but changed my mind. Based on what you've said, I think you should consider 'afterschooling' her in the subjects she is struggling in, getting her a tutor (or working with her yourself) over the summer to give her a leg up next year, and just keep trucking along. Unless she is showing signs of stress or unhappiness, I'd keep her where she is & move her up with her grade peers. Just give her the extra help she needs for the pace she needs to keep in this program.

[gigi638]

I understand about trucking along, and I won't make any decisions until the end of the year, as things may just click!   But I do see the definite struggles with math!  The teachers says she is not shutting down in class, but with math HW  (even today) she is definitely shutting down with me at home.  She just does not get it!  And she is starting to fight me when I try to go over things with her.  I try to make it fun and today she didn't even want to do that!  I don't know if I am blowing things out of proportion and I certainly don't want to jump to conclusions,  but the thought of a learning disability in math has even crossed my mind.  With her struggling so much in math, even though she is doing Ok in reading, how can I move her on to 2nd like that.  A small part of me wonders if it could just be a developmental thing with her and if she had that extra year, maybe, just maybe it would click.   Even if she would be higher in reading.  So what, that's great, it would give her a strength and something to feel great about, even if math didn't come as easy.  I mean what is developmental and "normal" for a 6 year old.  For example, the struggle now is greater and less than with 2 digits.  She just does not get it!  

[snowbeltmom]

 The teachers says she is not shutting down in class, but with math HW  (even today) she is definitely shutting down with me at home.  She just does not get it!  And she is starting to fight me when I try to go over things with her. 

 

It may simply be that your daughter is tired after a long day at school, especially since her teacher says she is not shutting down in class.  I would cut back on the academics you are doing after school, at least during the school week.  Wait and see where your daughter is by the end of the year and make your decision then.

 

[Terabith]

What is she struggling with math wise?

[gigi638]

She can add and subtract and they actually do math drills every week , in which they have to complete a certain amount in a 1 minute period.  She usually passes these, with the exception of maybe once.  So if it's something concrete like 8 + 3 she's got it!  She also rarely uses her fingers and uses counting on methods  (8, 9,10,11).  But then it's the less concrete things that she has difficulty with!  Like which number is bigger 27 or 43, she will look at the ones place and say 27 is bigger.  Trust me, I have tried visuals, 100 charts, games, etc.  She knows how to count to 100, but may at times get confused when she has to say go from 59 to 60 in order to keep going.  She also has a hard time when using base ten blocks and ones to write the numbers.  When I teach her with visuals she gets it more. For example, after working with her for a week on a particular chapter (maybe 10-15 minutes per day) By the end of the week she scored a 92% on her math test.  But the biggest problem right now with her is that she is completely turned off to math! She throws herself on the floor, does not want to do the math HW or writes anything down!  I truly think I should just back off for now with anything math related! I don't even think a math tutor at this point would be a good idea, because I really don't want to keep making math a negative thing.  

[Guest]

I say hold her back with her actual age mates and tell her she is sooo lucky! She did so well that the teachers are hoping she can be a big helper for the new ones next year.

 

As for right now, if she is feeling awful about herself then I would put her back down into K dual language and tell her the same thing as above. OR leave her where she is and lighten the load for her.

 

And help her with the math after school regardless. 

[LibraryLover]

Since she sounds so miserable, I would hold her back.  She is 6 years old, and too young for that degree of stress. Stress also has a negative impact on brain growth/cognitive development.

[NASDAQ]

I'm somewhat relieved by SKL and Sue in Texas. I have a November baby and that will IYH make her young for her year in Canada.