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Are you a twin?


Night Elf
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Yes, I have a fraternal twin (brother). Not super close, but we do enjoy getting together when we can. Distance plays a huge role.

 

Now my DH and I have fraternal twins (girls) of our own. :) They are the fourth generation in a row, all fraternal (them, me, my mother, my mom's father).

 

Erica in OR

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Yes. I have a twin brother. We were very close before we each got married, and we started confiding in our spouses instead of each other. We love each other, but we still disagree at times. I have a closer relationship with him then my older brother. I always tell him he was the first man I ever shared a womb with. Fraternal twins run in my family.

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My DH is an identical twin. They were inseparable when they were younger but not as adults. They really only see each other at holidays now. Really they don't seem any different as any other set of brothers. As DH & I have talked through the years (35+) he's realized that the "inseparable" as children was because of the societal expectations of being twins. People were less like to seek them each out as individuals because of the feeling that if you were friends/invited one you had to be friends/invite both. Also, their parents tended to treat them as a single unit in the family. I remember being amazed/saddened at the 21st birthday party. They got several identical presents just different colors. Also, with one present they were told to turn their backs to each other to open because it was the same exact gift. I'm not talking about some major gift they both wanted but something simple as the same sweater neither had seen. They always had to share a car where all the other kids had their own. My FIL was a manager at a dealership & $ wasn't an issue so I really didn't understand that on. I think their lack of closeness now is because of how they were treated younger. 

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Guest inoubliable

My twin died before we were born. 

 

 

Same. My father's twin and my DS8's twin, too. DS8 swears he feels another person around him sometimes, when no one is there. My father says he felt the same thing growing up. A little ooky. 

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I am an identical twin. My sister and are are very close, always have been. We live about three hours away from each other but we talk on the phone about three times per week. sometimes we will call each other ( never planned) at exactly the same moment so that both of our phones go to voice mail. Sometimes we have the same random dreams on the same night. Once I told her about a dream I had that night about someone whom I hadn't seen in a decade without knowing that she had just run into the person that day. Stuff like this happens all the time, it's fun. :-)

Eta: My parents didn't know they were going to have twins until after my sister was born. in those days you didn't have an ultrasound unless they suspected something unusual. They would listen for two heartbeats. The Dr. said our heartbeats must have been in sync because they never heard an echo. My dad was in shock for about a month after we were born and didn't speak except to say he would never be able to get in the bathroom again. At least that's the way the story goes. :-)

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My sister's are mirror-image identical twins. They love/hate each other fiercely. But they do crazy twin things even though they lived halfway across the country from each other in different time zones. 

 

The last one.... One twin called the other and found out they were watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with their families at the same moment. 

 

Personally, I can expect the other twin to call me half hour after the first twin calls. :)) My husband and I say, "Wait for it...!" It never fails. 

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My twin sisters can NOT stand each other. They are identical (they don't look like it anymore because of so many lifestyle choices they've made differently and health issues). I actually look more like the twin of one of them. The one I'm close to has a set of adult, male, identical twins living behind her. One is married, they live next door to one another, they dress IDENTICALLY, they go everywhere together (we saw them in the Verizon store yesterday)...the only thing is that they have different coloured cars.

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My DH is an identical twin. They were inseparable when they were younger but not as adults. They really only see each other at holidays now. Really they don't seem any different as any other set of brothers. As DH & I have talked through the years (35+) he's realized that the "inseparable" as children was because of the societal expectations of being twins. People were less like to seek them each out as individuals because of the feeling that if you were friends/invited one you had to be friends/invite both. Also, their parents tended to treat them as a single unit in the family. I remember being amazed/saddened at the 21st birthday party. They got several identical presents just different colors. Also, with one present they were told to turn their backs to each other to open because it was the same exact gift. I'm not talking about some major gift they both wanted but something simple as the same sweater neither had seen. They always had to share a car where all the other kids had their own. My FIL was a manager at a dealership & $ wasn't an issue so I really didn't understand that on. I think their lack of closeness now is because of how they were treated younger.

This all most definitely happened to us. We always had to open our gifts back to back. For birthdays we'd get $10 each from the aunts who gave $20 to our brother... that sort of thing. I guess we just thought of it as a price we were willing to pay for a lifelong best friend. :-)

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You guys are making me sad about my twin sons' prospects of brotherly love in the future.

 

If anyone - twins, twin parents, people fascinated by twins - is interested, the best book about twinship I've ever read is One and the Same.  It's a great read.  The author is a twin and a journalist.  She writes about "twin factoid" type stuff, her own issues with being a twin, and she goes around and interviews lots of twins - famous twins and twins with unusual lives - and uses all that to reflect on her own experiences.  It's really good.

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You guys are making me sad about my twin sons' prospects of brotherly love in the future.

 

If anyone - twins, twin parents, people fascinated by twins - is interested, the best book about twinship I've ever read is One and the Same.  It's a great read.  The author is a twin and a journalist.  She writes about "twin factoid" type stuff, her own issues with being a twin, and she goes around and interviews lots of twins - famous twins and twins with unusual lives - and uses all that to reflect on her own experiences.  It's really good.

I have to say that how twins are raised will play in. My twin sisters did not have a real good situation. One was/can be manipulative, gaslighting, etc. The other twin is always the scapgoat where she was "golden". So there is more at play. Obviously, the twins behind one sister are super-uber connected. I grew up with fraternal twins as classmates. I'm on facebook with them. They would occasionally be dressed the same, but they were both VERY different and although they were the "LastName Twins" and were fraternal, we grew up on SVH and it was a similar case of opposites...one was very scholarly and quiet and the other was very athletic and outgoing. They are still close to each other sibling wise, but live very different and separate lives from what I see. They seem to have a very healthy relationship. I'm sure they don't agree...I'm sure they have their private moments of disapproval of one another...who knows. But they are both very sweet people. They were raised in what I believe was a very healthy home with wonderful extended family around.

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I have to say that how twins are raised will play in. My twin sisters did not have a real good situation. One was/can be manipulative, gaslighting, etc. The other twin is always the scapgoat where she was "golden". So there is more at play. Obviously, the twins behind one sister are super-uber connected. I grew up with fraternal twins as classmates. I'm on facebook with them. They would occasionally be dressed the same, but they were both VERY different and although they were the "LastName Twins" and were fraternal, we grew up on SVH and it was a similar case of opposites...one was very scholarly and quiet and the other was very athletic and outgoing. They are still close to each other sibling wise, but live very different and separate lives from what I see. They seem to have a very healthy relationship. I'm sure they don't agree...I'm sure they have their private moments of disapproval of one another...who knows. But they are both very sweet people. They were raised in what I believe was a very healthy home with wonderful extended family around.

 

Yeah, I'm hoping that having a sane household and help my boys have separate lives will help.  And also not expecting them to be in sync all the time just because they're twins, as said above.  We'll see.  I'm estranged from my own brother (not a twin), so I certainly know siblings can fall out.  I know an adult twin who isn't close to her sister and said that everyone's expectation that they should definitely get along because they're twins always just makes it worse.

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My younger sisters are identical twins. They were explicitly treated as individuals by my parents. They went through periods when they didn't get along well and for several years lived in separate states, but currently they share a house. One is married and expecting a baby, the other widowed with 2 kids.

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My husband is a fraternal triplet. I would say they're not any closer than any other sibs. He and one of his brothers are practically identical in terms of personality though. Physically, they do not even look like brothers. I think my MIL did a good job of treating them as individuals and not as a unit.

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I am an identical twin (which we didn't find out until we were 31 lol, the dr told my mom we were fraternal, of course he also told her she wasn't having twins she just stuck out a lot because she was short).

 

We are closeish...about as close as my other sister...but she has made different life choices that cause us to have very little in common.

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Neither my husband or I are twins.  But, I have 2 sets.  One set is girl/boy and they are no closer than my other kids.  The boy is closer to his older brother than to his sister. They were not aware of each other or comforted by each other as babies like some twins are.   My other set is boy/boy and they are inseparable.  They have been since the day they were born.  They used to hold hands while nursing, even as very young babies.  But, my twins are only 5 and 3.  So, time will tell how things play out.  :D

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Eta: My parents didn't know they were going to have twins until after my sister was born. in those days you didn't have an ultrasound unless they suspected something unusual. They would listen for two heartbeats. The Dr. said our heartbeats must have bese they never heard an echo. My dad was in shock for about a month after we were born and didn't speak except to say he would never be able to get in the bathroom again. At least that's the way the story goes. :-)

My brothers are twins and have a similar birth story; they were told that they must've been stomach to stomach in womb and that's why thwy only heard one heartbeat. Can you imagine now? Dad running out for another carseat so you could fo home? More stuff? Crazy.

 

They are still very close. Their wives love each other. One has a 6yo and the other had a baby this year; our nephew (the 6yo) said he was so exited to have a brother (instead of cousin ... He knows about cousins, too).

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My brothers are twins and have a similar birth story; they were told that they must've been stomach to stomach in womb and that's why thwy only heard one heartbeat. Can you imagine now? Dad running out for another carseat so you could fo home? More stuff? Crazy.

 

They are still very close. Their wives love each other. One has a 6yo and the other had a baby this year; our nephew (the 6yo) said he was so exited to have a brother (instead of cousin ... He knows about cousins, too).

 

My mom didn't know she was having twins until she went in....my little sister had twins who are now 6 years old...she didn't find out she was having twins until 5 mins after the first one was born....and that was with all the ultrasounds and "modern" medicine.

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I worry about the self identity issues with all of my kids. My boys are 11mos 29 days apart. Family treats them as twins and they get identical gifts typically. Money is also shared instead of equal to other cousins many times. They get really irritated being asked if they are twins and treated as twins.

 

Then you have my mirror-identical twin girls. Thankfully, since they are mirror twins, they do have some self identifying qualities such as one is a lefty and one a righty. Their hair parts opposite directions, etc. They sleep on opposite sides, etc. I have really put forth effort lately to push for individual equality if that makes since. Even for Halloween, it's a big deal for them to choose different costumes, etc. Family members always give them identical gifts, though. Or the only difference will be the color. One pink and one purple.

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