Truscifi Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Ds9 just went to bed with no dinner. I told him he had to eat before bedtime if he was going to eat. He was offered dinner at 8 when ds1 and I ate but he said he wasn't hungry. He took a shower, relaxed for a while, then said he wasn't really hungry but would eat a slice of bread. Um, no. I told him he could have the bread with a little meat and veggies but he declined. He had some screen time before bed, during which I reminded him again that he should eat some dinner. At 10 he got ready for bed and went to his room. He just came out and said he's hungry. I sent him back to bed. I should probably add that this is the kid who stalls and stalls and stalls going to bed then is tired and cranky in the morning, so we are getting pretty strict about bedtime. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Well done. ::loud applause:: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 You're not a meanie! My kitchen has certain hours. You snooze, you lose! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Good job sticking to your guns. It's not what I would do, but you did give him guidelines and reminded him and he declined. Personally I would have been okay with the slice of bread, heck all I ate for dinner was jam toast. Sometimes you are just not hungry for what is being served, or simply not hungry until later,so I could never send a kid to bed hungry. Aside from the fact no one sleeps well when hungry, I know my kids are like me and end up very nauseous if they go too long between meals. That said you mentioned this is your staller so he may very well still not be that hungry and just saying so to stay up longer. I know my ds10 has tried this tactic, which is when he get buttered bread to eat on his way if he claims he is hungry at bedtime. There is no fan fare or really much extended time just a little more in the belly. If not actually hungry and just stalling he turns down the buttered bread. So not a meanie at all, he had lots of chances, just watch out that you haven't shot yourself in the foot with this one lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 Good job sticking to your guns. It's not what I would do, but you did give him guidelines and reminded him and he declined. Personally I would have been okay with the slice of bread, heck all I ate for dinner was jam toast. Sometimes you are just not hungry for what is being served, or simply not hungry until later,so I could never send a kid to bed hungry. Aside from the fact no one sleeps well when hungry, I know my kids are like me and end up very nauseous if they go too long between meals. That said you mentioned this is your staller so he may very well still not be that hungry and just saying so to stay up longer. I know my ds10 has tried this tactic, which is when he get buttered bread to eat on his way if he claims he is hungry at bedtime. There is no fan fare or really much extended time just a little more in the belly. If not actually hungry and just stalling he turns down the buttered bread. So not a meanie at all, he had lots of chances, just watch out that you haven't shot yourself in the foot with this one lol I know. I'm going to keep an eye on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 You're not a big meanie. A nine year old will be fine until breakfast. I don't do strict bedtimes myself so I'm the big meanie who never gets her five year old up in time for Park Day and makes him do school when everybody else's kid is playing Minecraft or snug in their beds. I don't think it's possible not to feel like a big meanie when it comes to bedtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 We have a sit-down dinner every night. Someone who isn't sick will sit at the table whether they decide to eat or not. Everyone eats what has been prepared for dinner - there are no alternate menus. If they choose not to eat, the food is put away until morning. (I might add that that has never happened!) We even make them eat 3 bites of a food before they decide they "don't like it", each time it is served. You are not a meanie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 Thanks for the moral support. He's sleeping soundly, and I'm headed for bed. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 My DS will frequently decide to skip a meal if he's involved in something else. I have no problem with that, and I have said no when he decides he's hungry five minutes before bed. Sorry, kid. I told you an hour ago that you needed to eat then if you were going to eat. See you at breakfast. I'm not strict about meals (within reason) but I am very strict about bedtime. I give multiple opportunities and reminders to eat something before it gets too late. They are old enough to choose what they do with it, but bedtime is bedtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Not mean, though I know it feels that way. At his age, I would (and have) do the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 I'm a bit like your son, I guess. It might be a "life skill" to teach him good mature responses for his procrastinated hunger, rather than just limiting eating hours. My "life skill" is to remember that if I (stupidly) need to eat right before bed (so that I am not sleepless with hunger) is that it should be small, nutrient dense, and low sugar -- not a treat/snack, and not a meal. Like, a handful of almonds or a square of cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 I'm a bit like your son, I guess. It might be a "life skill" to teach him good mature responses for his procrastinated hunger, rather than just limiting eating hours. My "life skill" is to remember that if I (stupidly) need to eat right before bed (so that I am not sleepless with hunger) is that it should be small, nutrient dense, and low sugar -- not a treat/snack, and not a meal. Like, a handful of almonds or a square of cheese. Same here, as is one of my kids. We do much better physically and mentally with smaller meals and a few snacks during the day. Dh and and the other child rarely snack and eat larger meals. I do expect everyone at the table to at least visit, and hopefully eat a bit, but the kitchen is always open. Just clean up your mess. I've seen food control end badly for people when they become adults, so no, we don't get into that here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathmarm Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Doesn't sound mean to me at all. I don't see where the guilt is coming from, in this situation...Are you planning on with-holding meals tomorrow just to drive the point home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 I don't think kids or adults should eat before they go to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 I don't think kids or adults should eat before they go to bed. If I don't have a small snack within an hour of going to bed, I wake up hungry, an hour or two before it is time to get up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Sounds reasonable to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 I let my kids eat when they want. I don't require them to sit down when I serve food. But I don't let them eat late at night (I consider 9/10 late). Kitchen is closed. And they do often ask for something at that time, but nope kitchen is closed. That is just too late and I'm done for the day. We do basically the same. He has foods he can make for himself throughout the day when he is hungry, and I make a meal for the family every night but I don't make him eat at a particular time. He does have to sit with the rest of us to be sociable. I only require that he eat far enough before bedtime that he can get his nightly routine done and be in bed on schedule. I'm a bit like your son, I guess. It might be a "life skill" to teach him good mature responses for his procrastinated hunger, rather than just limiting eating hours. My "life skill" is to remember that if I (stupidly) need to eat right before bed (so that I am not sleepless with hunger) is that it should be small, nutrient dense, and low sugar -- not a treat/snack, and not a meal. Like, a handful of almonds or a square of cheese. He was definitely not sleepless with hunger. He was out within 10 minutes of lying down. I don't go in for food control as a rule, other than not buying junk food so it is not available for ds9. This is more a stalling/bedtime issue than a food issue I think. Doesn't sound mean to me at all. I don't see where the guilt is coming from, in this situation...Are you planning on with-holding meals tomorrow just to drive the point home? Definitely not. The guilt comes mainly from the fact that ds9 is an expert at sad puppy eyes. And I'm a sucker most of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Doesn't sound mean to me at all. I don't see where the guilt is coming from, in this situation...Are you planning on with-holding meals tomorrow just to drive the point home? I really hope this was meant as sarcasm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 nm. wrong thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessed Mommy Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Great job! You're not a meanie...it's called "parenting", and you're doing it right! Yea! Last week, I sent my nine year old daughter to bed without dinner because she complained about the meal I prepared. Her complaint was that we have it too much, and she was tired of it. So, she didn't get dinner. She wrote me an apology letter for complaining and being ungrateful and left it on my pillow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 We have a sit-down dinner every night. Someone who isn't sick will sit at the table whether they decide to eat or not. Everyone eats what has been prepared for dinner - there are no alternate menus. If they choose not to eat, the food is put away until morning. (I might add that that has never happened!) We even make them eat 3 bites of a food before they decide they "don't like it", each time it is served. You are not a meanie! This is our policy. DD is almost 6 (2 months shy) and if she doesn't want to eat dinner she can have the choice of a plain piece of bread, toasted or not, but I do not open the kitchen back up for meals after dinner until morning. We do breakfast, a morning snack, lunch, an afternoon snack and dinner. If she eats well she gets dessert--usually a granola bar, a small packet of all natural fruit snacks or maybe if I've baked a muffin or cookie or slice of cake/scoop of cobbler, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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