I agree with Darla. I think that by assigning blame to the victim for a variety of behavior or not seeing "the signals" or whatever, it makes all of the other women feel like it would never happen to them because they are so much wiser, better, etc. Oh, I didn't make choice A, or I would never be with a person like that, or if she just would have done this or that she would never been in this predicament, or....so since I am not in those circumstances, or I did not make those choices, or I am so much smarter than that, then it will never happen to me or my children.
The bottom line being of course that nothing you do or say controls the actions of an evil person bent on destruction, and you can't avoid all evil. You are probably just as vulnerable as the next person and that is an uncomfortable thought. You can take some common sense precautions, but beyond that, it's kind of a crap shoot out there. I've known plenty of "the just right people" by western Judeo-Christian standards who have been the victims of all kinds of horror. Being just so and doing just so was no protection.
I also believe this is a left over of a male dominated culture. Keeping women in their place for centuries has revolved around the concept of making the bad actions of males the fault of the female. It is an excellent method of psychological manipulation that both genders have bought into and one of things that always strikes me is not just that many men jump in, but very, very few will actually call the other men out for their chauvinistic attitudes and the few that do, get shouted down even by seemingly "good" and decent men. My assumption on this is that it is no easy thing, subconsciously, to abdicate that position of power within the culture. Better do join in with the women who are so cruel to each other and support their position than to stand up for the stark reality because that's easier than summoning up the courage to go against centuries of cultural bias.