A frivolous question/poll - Man Crush Monday?

[PeacefulChaos]

Ok, I had a hard time thinking of all the potential answers for the poll, so I'm sorry if I missed some obvious choices.  :P

So if you are on Instagram, you've probably seen the # mcm (Man Crush Monday) pictures.  I have a variety of friends - some do the mcm, some don't - they are almost always people who aren't 'real' in their lives, so to speak, though occasionally one will post a picture of her boyfriend/etc.  

I'm curious as to what adults in general think.  I have a friend who won't do it because she thinks it would be disrespectful to her husband.  I have other friends who are married who post one, and I think that's ok, too.  

I'm just curious.  

 

Oh, and there is # wcw, too - Woman Crush Wednesday.  Most of my friends post one of those, though most of them are girls lol... I have posted a wcw before.  Still haven't brought myself to post a mcm though, because would people think weird things of me?  

 

Idk, I'm just pondering... 

 

(oh and you can feel free to share who your mcm would be here, too.  Just for kicks.  :D :lol: :lol: )

[PeacefulChaos]

For those who think it's harmful to the relationship, do you mind sharing why?  

 

Also, I forgot to ask, would it bother your DH if you were to post (or significant other, in any case)?  Would it bother you if the roles were switched?

 

Again, just curious.  

[Word Nerd]

I only know about it because a girl keeps tagging photos of a friend on Facebook and using the hashtag there along with comments about what a cutie he is. I think it's kind of embarrassing.

[DawnM]

I am not on Instagram, but I don't mind looking at pictures of oh, say Clint Eastwood's son Scott........ :leaving:

[Dandelion]

It's not my thing, but I don't think negatively of others who might occasionally post an MCM/WCW.  

[HRAAB]

I'm not really sure what this is, but if it's just posting a picture of a man you find attractive, I don't see any harm in it, and my dh couldn't care less.  The reverse is also true.  Honestly though, we just don't do that kind of thing.  Dh knows I about start drooling every time I see Benedict Cumberbatch; he finds it funny.  It wouldn't be harmful to our marriage.  If my drooling over Benedict had reached the point where it was causing problems in our marriage, I would have a majorly huge issue - especially considering I'm 53.

[mommaduck]

This is the first time I've ever heard of it.

[bolt.]

I have a silly celebrity crush, but I don't think I'd advertise it, or objectify a person (more than merely being a celebrity already has 'objectified' him) by making it about just looks, sharing photos. It's a little visual, but more about him being expressive and compelling than hot/cute (which he might also be).

 

My DH is aware of my crush, and we have many in-family jokes about it.

 

I'd not be happy to see my DH interested in photos of "hot girls" as crushes, and I would have a big reaction to him actively indulging a crush on a real other woman. Depending how it happened, I might be OK if he had a "crush" on a compelling actress that we both like... But I might not be. I might have a bit of a double standard there.

[Jeannie in NJ]

about 12 years ago my movie star crush at the time was starring in a musical in Hollywood.  Dh had a convention in Sedona , Arizona.  He was able to get me, him and our dc 3 way plane tickets to go from Philly to Los Angeles then to Phoenix and return to Philly at no extra charge.  So we flew into Hollywood, I went to see the musical, we stayed overnight then flew into Phoenix, went to Sedona for the 2 day convention and then spent 2 days at the Grand Canyon.  Of course he teased me the whole time.

 

Neither one of us cares about the other having movie star crushes.  Mine for now and since LOTR is Sean Bean and dh's since forever has been Susan Sarandon (and he didn't drop the crush as she got older lol)

[elegantlion]

I hadn't heard of it until today either. Apparently I posted one without knowing what it was. I think most of them are all in good fun. I can appreciate a nice looking man who happens to have a decent body of work and apparently good character. 

[mytwomonkeys]

Definitely not for me. But if my mama, sisters, friends, or friend's mama wants to participate in man crush Monday, transformation Tuesday, (and every other silly thing out there) I say have fun. I got bigger things to get offended over.

[Ottakee]

I hadn't heard about it until today when a young college student posted her Man Crush Monday................a picture of her gelding (horse). That was cute.

[Word Nerd]

I only know about it because a girl keeps tagging photos of a friend on Facebook and using the hashtag there along with comments about what a cutie he is. I think it's kind of embarrassing.

However, I repost pics of Sherlock, Prince Hal, and Kili/Mitchell on Pinterest, so I'm not one to judge.

[marbel]

I voted other:  I wouldn't do it, and while it's not up to me to decide what's OK in other relationships, I think it can be harmful though  not necessarily harmful to everyone.  (Just as romance novels and romantic comedy movies can be harmful but may not be for everyone.) 

 

I prefer to expend that sort of energy on my own husband.   I don't know anyone who does this particular thing but I do have some friends who talk about celebrity crushes and such, and in my experience it seems that women think it's cute when they do it, but offensive/hurtful when their husbands/partners do it.  (Speaking generally and of my own experience with people I know IRL or online, of course.)

 

ETA: My reasoning - this kind of activity can (but doesn't always) lead to insecurity in, or dissatisfaction with, the real-life relationship.  Maybe that's just with people who have maturity or security problems, I don't know.

 

I get that people enjoy and appreciate beauty in all its forms, including other people.  But this seems to go beyond that. 

[Tangerine]

My DH would never care, and we have discussed our public figure crushes freely.  That said, it's just not my style.

[Julie Smith]

I'm somewhere between these two: 

 

1. I'm not sure it's for me, but I don't think negatively of people in committed relationships who do post - to each their own
2. I wouldn't do it, and don't think other people in committed relationships should, either - I think it's harmful to the relationship

I wouldn't do it. I think it's kind of icky, even if not in a committed relationship. But I wouldn't comment negatively to anyone doing it unless they came out and asked, "What do you think of ...." and left me with the idea that they really want to know what I think of it and listen to my answer. 

 

[MissKNG]

I've never heard of MCM before. I think it's very difficult for a lady to NOT think some celebrity is "hot". I don't think it is harmful to your relationship because what chance do you really have with said crush. Unless you are completely obsessed and focused on your crush, then that's probably where you need some sort of help because again, what chance do you really have with said crush.

 

My dh knows that my man crush is Wanya Morris of Boyz II Men!

[Seasider]

Well, I guess folks in my neck of the woods have misinterpreted this whole thing. Man crush Monday is not a time for women to post about their secret crushes on men. It's for MEN to post about their secret crushes on other men! And not in a homosexu@l way. It's just a way of saying, "This guy is a great friend, I admire him, he's a terrific role model, I'd like to be like him," that sort of thing. It's fun to see who my teen guys and their friends call out. Sometimes it's a celebrity, but mostly it's a good friend they like and respect.

 

Of course I'm not blind, I'm not dead, I notice attractive men. But I don't dwel on them and I don't post about it on social media!

[marbel]

Well, I guess folks in my neck of the woods have misinterpreted this whole thing. Man crush Monday is not a time for women to post about their secret crushes on men. It's for MEN to post about their secret crushes on other men! And not in a homosexu@l way. It's just a way of saying, "This guy is a great friend, I admire him, he's a terrific role model, I'd like to be like him," that sort of thing. It's fun to see who my teen guys and their friends call out. Sometimes it's a celebrity, but mostly it's a good friend they like and respect.

 

Of course I'm not blind, I'm not dead, I notice attractive men. But I don't dwel on them and I don't post about it on social media!

 

Oh. Well, that's different.

 

But why "crush?"  That seems like such a high-school girl term.  Why not "Man I Admire Monday?"  I guess it doesn't have the same cute ring to it? 

 

(My apologies if the person who created and named the meme is here.  Just consider me a cranky old lady.)  

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Well, I guess folks in my neck of the woods have misinterpreted this whole thing. Man crush Monday is not a time for women to post about their secret crushes on men. It's for MEN to post about their secret crushes on other men! And not in a homosexu@l way. It's just a way of saying, "This guy is a great friend, I admire him, he's a terrific role model, I'd like to be like him," that sort of thing. It's fun to see who my teen guys and their friends call out. Sometimes it's a celebrity, but mostly it's a good friend they like and respect.

 

Of course I'm not blind, I'm not dead, I notice attractive men. But I don't dwel on them and I don't post about it on social media!

Yep, similar to close/best friend relationships between males that are sometimes called "bromances" as in romances. I've heard teenage boys use these terms to sort of tease each other.

[houseofkids&pets]

I didn't understand what it was when I voted. I assumed you would post a pic of a man you found attractive, and men would post pics of women who they found attractive. I also was thinking along the lines of celebrity crushes, which I would find more harmless than a crush on a person you know IRL.

 

I have never posted any celebrity man crush until today :laugh: when I put a drooling face icon next to Hook's name on the Once Upon A Time thread. While I am at it, I also just "liked" DawnM's post about Scott Eastwood. I doubt that either one will be calling me up for a date any time soon, so it is harmless....as I sit by the phone waiting....

[DawnM]

Men I admire and men I think are physically attractive can be two very different things!

 

However, I do know that often times men who are physically attractive become unattractive really quickly when they open their mouths~!  :lol:   Same can go for women, I know.

 

I admire some very not so attractive men for their contributions to society or how nice they are or whatever.

 

 

Oh. Well, that's different.

 

But why "crush?"  That seems like such a high-school girl term.  Why not "Man I Admire Monday?"  I guess it doesn't have the same cute ring to it? 

 

(My apologies if the person who created and named the meme is here.  Just consider me a cranky old lady.)  

 

[Catherine]

Not for me. I may think these things privately, but I would not express them to my dh or certainly not publicly. First and foremost, I wouldn't want to risk hurting his feelings. Second, I don't want my kids to ever get the impression that physical appearance is important in relationships. It's just a bad place to encourage one's mind to go. I like to think we are not too ugly here, and of course my children are all unusually attractive : ) but I'd never want my boys to think that I consider physical beauty more important, or as important, as character qualities.

[PeacefulChaos]

Well, I guess folks in my neck of the woods have misinterpreted this whole thing. Man crush Monday is not a time for women to post about their secret crushes on men. It's for MEN to post about their secret crushes on other men! And not in a homosexu@l way. It's just a way of saying, "This guy is a great friend, I admire him, he's a terrific role model, I'd like to be like him," that sort of thing. It's fun to see who my teen guys and their friends call out. Sometimes it's a celebrity, but mostly it's a good friend they like and respect.

 

Of course I'm not blind, I'm not dead, I notice attractive men. But I don't dwel on them and I don't post about it on social media!

This is often the case here, as well.  Or it's all taken as a big joke.  In general i don't see it as objectifying - it's like, one college girl posts a picture of some country singer guy that she thinks is cute, or something to that effect.  Sometimes it's her husband/boyfriend.  Sometimes it's just some guy who is her friend.  Sometimes it's her tiny nephew... etc. 

I don't take it real seriously.  :)  WCW is the same thing as you are describing - the girls post a picture of their best friend (also a girl) or a girl they like (Zooey was one a couple of weeks ago... and when I posted a WCW I posted CL of 2NE1 - so basically it's just someone they think is cool or awesome or something.)

 

I didn't understand what it was when I voted. I assumed you would post a pic of a man you found attractive, and men would post pics of women who they found attractive. I also was thinking along the lines of celebrity crushes, which I would find more harmless than a crush on a person you know IRL.

 

I have never posted any celebrity man crush until today :laugh: when I put a drooling face icon next to Hook's name on the Once Upon A Time thread. While I am at it, I also just "liked" DawnM's post about Scott Eastwood. I doubt that either one will be calling me up for a date any time soon, so it is harmless....as I sit by the phone waiting....

Yep, that's pretty much it. 

[Lizzie in Ma]

I'm not really sure what this is, but if it's just posting a picture of a man you find attractive, I don't see any harm in it, and my dh couldn't care less.  The reverse is also true.  Honestly though, we just don't do that kind of thing.  Dh knows I about start drooling every time I see Benedict Cumberbatch; he finds it funny.  It wouldn't be harmful to our marriage.  If my drooling over Benedict had reached the point where it was causing problems in our marriage, I would have a majorly huge issue - especially considering I'm 53.

 

I haven't seen it either but pretty much what Ishki wrote.

This kind of came up the other day when we were watching Tokyo Drift. ;)  I LOVE Han.

Dh thinks my all time crush on Sean Bean is a hoot.  (Sharpe's Rifles anyone?)

[FriedClams]

For those who think it's harmful to the relationship, do you mind sharing why?

 

Also, I forgot to ask, would it bother your DH if you were to post (or significant other, in any case)? Would it bother you if the roles were switched?

 

Again, just curious.

I think it's really disrespectful. I wouldn't want my DH posting pictures of, say Selma Hayek, as his crush. It would be hurtful and unkind - and I am FAR from insecure. Doing the same to him is just rude and disrespectful, IMHO.

[nmoira]

DH knows all about me and Sam Rockwell. But Sam Rockwell doesn't. :tongue_smilie: DH is ok with that. And I'm ok with DH's not-so-secret "crush" on Felicia Day.