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Ds10's typed narration of SOTW 4 - Ch. 1


sagira
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I had ds10 type up facts as he came across new information. First he read the section, then he listened to it. He looked on the world map and atlas where everything was. On the second day he read the second section and did the same as before. On the third day he completed the map work and read the Usborne Internet-Linked Encyclopedia entries on both. He added more facts to his two sections in the chapter. He also decided then to write a paragraph on the Sepoy Mutiny. He had a choice between the two sections. On the fourth day he explored the Internet Quicklinks and completed the coloring page while listening to both sections one more time, this time one after the other.

 

Since we did this particular chapter in two weeks (we began schooling on September 3, and started SOTW the following week), he looked at all his facts and typed up this paragraph today. What do you think? It is his first effort, and I don't want to discourage him, but at the same time I want a good product. I had to remind him to capitalize and instructed him again on where to add commas. I have to add that this narration is also closer to a Charlotte Mason narration instead of just a summary. Also, do you think I should have not helped him with his punctuation, capitalization? Written narrations are relatively new to us. I left his original sentence structures and the odd grammar in there.

 

In 1857 Bahadur Shah, Governor of Bengal, was at a meeting, there the East India Company have bought a rifle, the Enfield Rifle. A normal rifle took time to shoot, but with the Enfield Rifle all you had to do was bite off the end and slide the bullet in. But the Hindus knew that the type of oil the Enfield Rifle was made with was animal fat (Hindus thought cows were sacred, Muslims thought pigs were dirty). The sepoys fought the East India Company's army but sadly.. the British army won. The mutiny ended in 1858, and Queen Victoria was now the ruler of India.

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I would separate his actual typing up the narration from proofreading it and making punctuation and grammatical corrections (like the first sentence which doesn't quite make sense.)  

 

Thanks! Will do. I agree about the first sentence. I didn't edit, just commented on punctuation. It was hard for me not to, as I am editor by nature. However, I wanted everyone to see his authentic writing instead of my editing, if that makes sense ;)

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Go ahead and help him with capitalization and punctuation. In fact, go ahead and help him in other areas too, such as when his wording is ackward. This 'help' is one way of teaching writing.

 

Written compositions, especially typed ones, have a significant advantage over oral narrations. They can be revised. If he is new to written compositions, introduce the concept of revising so that he can get used to the process. I personally think that revising helps a writer grow as much as making an initial draft does.

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Thanks. This is our first real transition to written narrations, and I was a bit lost as how to go about it. It will be my pleasure to revise and edit those sentences with him ;)

Written narrations can be very different from oral narrations. For one thing, mistakes and weird phrasings stand out more. Have fun revising with him, but try to stick to only one or two changes at first. Too many things to "fix" can be overwhelming. You might even ask him which one thing he would like to work on. Often kids know when some writing doesn't work, but not know how to fix it.

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Written narrations can be very different from oral narrations. For one thing, mistakes and weird phrasings stand out more. Have fun revising with him, but try to stick to only one or two changes at first. Too many things to "fix" can be overwhelming. You might even ask him which one thing he would like to work on. Often kids know when some writing doesn't work, but not know how to fix it.

 

I definitely agree with this!

 

I would ask him to read it out loud. That often helps the problem areas stand out.

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For our writing program (Institute for Excellence in Writing - IEW) I correct every tiny mistake. Everything.

 

For other things, nope. I don't correct it all. Not yet. He's too shaky in confidence right now.

 

I agree with other posters to pick 2 things to work on at a time--perhaps punctuation and then fix just one sentence of each narrative. This is assuming you already do something else for writing. If you do not have another curric for writing, then my advice is different. If this is all you'll do for writing (SOTW) then you'll want to fully edit each narrative.

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These responses are really helpful. I appreciate everyone taking the time to comment.

 

We are using Wordsmith Apprentice once a week (an hour at a time) as a writing program in addition to his weekly SOTW narration. From Monday through Thursday we hit English with Serl's Intermediate Language Lessons.

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