PrairieSong Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Friends of our have a son who got married last year in another state, in his wife's home town. Because it was so far away, most people from here did not go, except for relatives. Now, over a year later, they are coming here to surprise his mom for her birthday. Also, the family has planned an impromptu "wedding reception" for the couple. It seems strange to me for a few reasons. They have been married over a year, the reception was planned with only a week's notice, and it is a potluck. I don't know if we will go, but if we do, should we bring a gift? Do we dress up in clothes appropriate for a wedding? I have honestly never been invited to anything like this before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Out of the norm--- but not too seriously. Go, dress semi casual (dockers and button down for the men,-- summer dress or nice shorts for females) Bring a gift only of you want them to have something-- I wouldn't go out of my way or anything. Take a dish Have a good time and congratulate them! -- I guess I would bring a gift for the birthday!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 It was impromptu, so I wouldn't expect it to be anything but casual. It really doesn't seem strange to me and it gives their friends and family a way to celebrate their marriage with them. If you were able to attend their wedding, would you have brought a gift? If so, then bring one to this event if you want. Or don't. Being it is a potluck, it is likely very informal and just meant to be a party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 My nephew had a delayed wedding reception as they had a civil wedding so that his wife could go with him for deployment. They had the wedding reception two years later. Bring a wedding gift if you would like to, dress casually and have fun. You can treat it like a block party with an introduce the bride and toast the couple thrown in :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 We had a wedding ceremony and reception thing a year after we married. We had eloped. The wedding was largely to appease my mother's longing for pictures and me in a white dress. She had cancer and while she lived another 6 years, most all of that was borrowed time (she had 2 forms of lung cancer and leukemia for 14 years prior to her death). It made her happy. I can't regret that. Though I did wear a cardigan with my big white dress and my footwear was steel toed grinder boots. I can only do so much. ;) Go, take a dish and celebrate. Gift is totally optional. A party is a party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 It sounds sweet. I'd go, bring a small gift and a dish, and have a good time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 We had a wedding ceremony and reception thing a year after we married. We had eloped. The wedding was largely to appease my mother's longing for pictures and me in a white dress. She had cancer and while she lived another 6 years, most all of that was borrowed time (she had 2 forms of lung cancer and leukemia for 14 years prior to her death). It made her happy. I can't regret that. Though I did wear a cardigan with my big white dress and my footwear was steel toed grinder boots. I can only do so much. ;) Go, take a dish and celebrate. Gift is totally optional. A party is a party. Cracking up about your boots.:-) That was a sweet thing to do for your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 You're invited to a casual gathering (hence the potluck) to celebrate a marriage that happened too far away for most people in your area to attend... I don't think this is really a Mensa challenge. Dress as you would for any gathering at your friends' home, bring a dish. Gifts are always optional. If they weren't, that would make them an entrance fee, not a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Not strange at all. Dress as you would for a picnic. Bring a dish. Bring a gift if you want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Doesn't sound strange at all. I know two couples who did this. One gathering was this past summer. The other I felt very honored that they had thought to ask us to join them as we hadn't seen their parents in several years. Both were very nice. I guess if they're a young couple just out of college, then maybe a monetary gift would be nice ,but otherwise I wouldn't because they'll have to carry it back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 My friend got married in Germany. Her parents and all of her paternal relatives live in the US. Maternal relatives were German. In planning the wedding they knew half of her family and friends could not come. So, I think it was 4 months after her wedding that she and her dh came here and her parents threw a reception for the American side of thier life. the guests all dressed as if attending the wedding. Her dad was retired military and the event was at an officers club. My dh's best friend threw a party for his dd and new dh 3 months after the wedding in suburban MD where she grew up. I thought it was odd because the wedding was in Boston, not that terribly far to go for a wedding. We had attended the wedding. We went to the party too, but we did not take a second gift. The party was fun. There was no expectation of a gift. We dressed cocktail attire. The event was catered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 We had a delayed reception for dh's side of the family. Our families live on opposite sides of the country and we got married at my home. Mil planned a family reception for dh's side for several months later. We got married in Jan and she wanted to be sure weather wouldn't be too much a factor for the families who had to drive a ways. (They lived in the northeast.) It was informal. I can't even remember if we got gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 I have heard of that before so it doesn't seem too strange to me. I'd wear a comfy skirt and bring a card, possibly with a gift card in it, young folks always need towels or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 The only part that seems strange to me is that you say they are coming to surprise his mother, yet are planning the reception. Does she not know about the reception? I'm with the others -- I've heard of delayed receptions many times, for various reasons. The first one I went to was in 1971 or 1972, for my uncle and his new wife, who had eloped. So it's not a new thing at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 It's a celebration and doesn't sound strange to me. You are not obligated to bring a gift or to dress up--or even to attend. Don't overthink it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 The only part that seems strange to me is that you say they are coming to surprise his mother, yet are planning the reception. Does she not know about the reception? I'm with the others -- I've heard of delayed receptions many times, for various reasons. The first one I went to was in 1971 or 1972, for my uncle and his new wife, who had eloped. So it's not a new thing at all. The OP says the family is planning the reception, but that doesn't necessarily include the couple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 No, not strange at all. :-) Dress the way you would for an informal gathering. Bring a nice gift if you want to (if you didn't mail one to them for the wedding). And it isn't a "delayed" reception. It's just....a reception, which can be given any time after the event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 The OP says the family is planning the reception, but that doesn't necessarily include the couple. Well, surely the couple is part of the reception. What I understood is this: the couple is surprising the groom's mother by coming to town for her birthday. That means the mother doesn't know they are coming. Yet, the family (not including the mother?) is planning the reception. I would think that the mother would want to be part of the planning of the reception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Well, surely the couple is part of the reception. What I understood is this: the couple is surprising the groom's mother by coming to town for her birthday. That means the mother doesn't know they are coming. Yet, the family (not including the mother?) is planning the reception. I would think that the mother would want to be part of the planning of the reception. She might, but it's all part of the surprise. I hope they pull it off. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate in Arabia Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Friends of our have a son who got married last year in another state, in his wife's home town. Because it was so far away, most people from here did not go, except for relatives. Now, over a year later, they are coming here to surprise his mom for her birthday. Also, the family has planned an impromptu "wedding reception" for the couple. It seems strange to me for a few reasons. They have been married over a year, the reception was planned with only a week's notice, and it is a potluck. I don't know if we will go, but if we do, should we bring a gift? Do we dress up in clothes appropriate for a wedding? I have honestly never been invited to anything like this before. We did something like this when dh and I got married. Had a courthouse wedding and reception with my family in the US in December. The following summer we went to India and had a wedding reception there with dh's extended family. The summer after that we went to Saudi and had another wedding reception, because dh's immediate family had all lived there for decades and had lots of longtime friends there who couldn't make either earlier event. We pretty much got gifts from people at each event, as long as they hadn't given us a wedding gift already. A matter of fact, we met a distant relative of dh's some ten years after we were married and they gave me a "wedding" gift, because they said they never got a chance to give me one at the time of our wedding... and who am I to turn down a gift? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 The only part that seems strange to me is that you say they are coming to surprise his mother, yet are planning the reception. Does she not know about the reception? No, the mom doesn't know. Her husband specifically told me NOT to mention it to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 Thanks everyone for your input. We will probably go, bring a dish and gift or gift card, and wear something casual but nice. This dad is known for being spontaneous and fun, and planning at the last minute. Then he is sometimes disappointed at the low turnout. Hopefully that won't happen this time. The long time between the wedding and now also puzzled me, but after reading your responses it seems it isn't that uncommon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted August 4, 2013 Author Share Posted August 4, 2013 Well, surely the couple is part of the reception. What I understood is this: the couple is surprising the groom's mother by coming to town for her birthday. That means the mother doesn't know they are coming. Yet, the family (not including the mother?) is planning the reception. I would think that the mother would want to be part of the planning of the reception. Yes, you got it right. The mother would love to help plan IF she knew, but they are coming as a surprise for her birthday. I don't think the party is also for her birthday, but hmmm, I wonder. Am I supposed to bring a gift for her, too? Guess I will have to find out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 Yes, you got it right. The mother would love to help plan IF she knew, but they are coming as a surprise for her birthday. I don't think the party is also for her birthday, but hmmm, I wonder. Am I supposed to bring a gift for her, too? Guess I will have to find out. I didn't get the impression from the original post that the birthday party and wedding reception were simultaneous events. This is all too confusing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I think this is an opportunity for those friends and family members to meet the groom/bride they haven't met previously. if you want to bring a gift (and didn't send one to the original wedding) you can certainly do so. if they are doing potluck, it doesn't sound terribly formal - but an opportunity to meet, visit and catch up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.