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Family's young kids running wild in neighborhood, trespassing in yards


Rebecca VA
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The family who lives behind us has three young children, all six and under. Their parents work during the day as realtors. The children don't seem to be supervised well, and they have been known to ring doorbells and run away, go into people's yards and pick flowers, and generally make nuisances of themselves. I have never met the parents, nor have I had any conversation with the children.

 

We have a fish pond in our backyard that seems to be irresistible to these children. I have caught them on several occasions climbing through the fence, down the brick wall, and into our yard. They take the net and scoop things in the pond, and throw their snacks to the fish. Earlier this week they pulled out some of the circuits for the lights and water filter, which my husband is going to have to replace. On the occasions -- not many, but a few times -- when I've caught them in the act, they ran away.

 

My next-door neighbor says they have had endless trouble with this family. Apparently the parents are disliked because they bought their home under shady circumstances (from an elderly, vulnerable couple at far lower than the normal market value). The parents don't respond to complaints about their children. The children run wild and, while they're not deliberately destructive, they are thoughtless and damage plants and other property.

 

What would you do? Calling the police or CPS seems a little over the top. I have not been able to catch the parents at home, but my next-door neighbor has talked to them unsuccessfully numerous times. I do plan to speak with them and let them know that I'm very serious about not wanting their children in my yard. What else can I say that won't inflame them?

 

Sigh. This is a sweet, peaceful neighborhood, and I really hate to have ill feelings with anyone in it.

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You better call the cops sand report it. You need someway to CYA if one of those kids falls into your pond. Put up no trespassing signs, make sure the gate is locked and have the police go talk to the parents so they know you are serious.

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You better call the cops sand report it. You need someway to CYA if one of those kids falls into your pond. Put up no trespassing signs, make sure the gate is locked and have the police go talk to the parents so they know you are serious.

 

This. I would also borrow a dog for a week or two and put up beware of dog signs.

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We had a similar situation at our old house. The boys were brothers and both were school age, but I would guess both under the age of 7. From 3 pm to 7 pm they ran wild through the neighborhood. I banned them from my property because they were notorious for breaking things. Then they stole my son's bike. I ran out and stopped them, and they were completely clueless that you couldn't just take something from someone else's yard. I thought I got through to them, but they did it again the next day when DS left the bike on our porch. I called the cops on them this time, figuring one of the neighborhood resource officers could get through to them. Turns out, mom and dad didn't want to pay for childcare, so the kids came home from school, left their backpacks on the porch, then ran around the neighborhood until a parent got home to collect them. The parents figured it was safer for the kids to be running around outside where the neighborhood could keep an eye on them, so locked them out of the house. CPS got involved, and statements were taken from us and all our neighbors. We moved right after this happened, so I don't know the outcome.

 

I would at the very least call the police on the trespassing and destruction of property. Children drown all the time in backyard ponds. The police can decide from there whether these are parents just needing a wake-up call or if it's a CPS-worthy issue.

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Maybe I could say: "I will have to call the police on your children, EVERY SINGLE TIME I see them in my yard. I can't have the liability for them if they get injured on the brick wall or fall into the fish pond." I'm sure the parents won't like it, but at least they will have been warned.

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I'd tell them point blank that if the kids enter my yard again I will call the police for trespass and file a claim for damages.

 

Quite frankly, if you don't you could be held liable for them being injured on your property.

 

And sadly I have learned via experience that being nice to such people rarely pays off. :/

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I would call the police and/or cps. Definitely the police, EVERY time you see a child under 6 in your yard playing in a pond. That's seriously dangerous. I'm pretty relaxed but I can't even imagine letting my pretty responsible 5yo at a fish pond unsupervised.

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I just had an interesting conversation with a cop about neighborhood kids. They may ask if you have talked with the parents before they will do anything. However, if you have done that and things keep happening, I asked the cop for other tools. He told me there are none. You need to call the police and the police will talk with the parents. I was shocked because I was talking about things that a 9 year old was doing. In this case, there is danger that the children can drown. If they do, you will be liable. So, maybe that would make a difference in talking with the cops. Unfortunately, since this is a safety issue and you will be liable, I would call CPS.

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Maybe I could say: "I will have to call the police on your children, EVERY SINGLE TIME I see them in my yard. I can't have the liability for them if they get injured on the brick wall or fall into the fish pond." I'm sure the parents won't like it, but at least they will have been warned.

 

I think this sounds like a good plan.

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Agreeing with the others.... cops. Now. You said you have tried several times to contact the parents and couldn't. Calling the police is the next step.

 

I would have no problem with calling the police. It's not about keeping the peace with your neighbors.... they have already broken their end of the unspoken rules of living in close proximity to others by allowing their very young children to roam & tresspass. You are having to deal with that fallout.

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You need to talk to the parents even if others have been unsuccessful. Let them know the cost of current damages, and that they have 24 hours to pay or the cops are being called this time, for vandalism charges. Then it's the police every time. I agree on "no trespassing" signs.

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Here's another thought. If you can't ever catch the parents, have your attorney craft a letter stating that the children are not allowed on your property and especially not allowed near your pond. Have it sent certified mail.

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You definitely need to CYA, as these parents might be MIA right now, but if something were to happen to one of their children (read:fall into pond and drown--hopefully nothing does happen to the kids), YOUR doorstep would be the first place they would appear (read:sue). Can you possibly put in a fence?? It is a bad situation when parents don't take care of/supervise their children properly. We have rotten neighbors and their DD (10) kept coming onto our property. They are notorious for DF/FM and we want nothing to do with them. We called the police and they said that since she is a minor and is not vandalizing anything, there was nothing they could do. We can't move fast enough. Good luck.

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I seem to be the lone dissenter.

 

I would not call the police at this point.

 

I'd ensure that my backyard could not be entered. And I'd make meeting with the parents an absolute priority. I'd note what I'd observed so I could provide the parents with specific examples of what's going on with their kids. I'd make sure the parents know there is a pond in the neighborhood and that their kids climb fences to play in it. I'd walk the kids home repeatedly and inform the parents of the kids' activities. I'd tell the parents that unless something changes the neighbors will have no choice but to call the police.

 

I'd give them a chance before I'd involve law enforcement.

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Here's another thought. If you can't ever catch the parents, have your attorney craft a letter stating that the children are not allowed on your property and especially not allowed near your pond. Have it sent certified mail.

 

:iagree: Excellent idea.

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You definitely need to CYA, as these parents might be MIA right now, but if something were to happen to one of their children (read:fall into pond and drown--hopefully nothing does happen to the kids), YOUR doorstep would be the first place they would appear (read:sue). Can you possibly put in a fence?? It is a bad situation when parents don't take care of/supervise their children properly. We have rotten neighbors and their DD (10) kept coming onto our property. They are notorious for DF/FM and we want nothing to do with them. We called the police and they said that since she is a minor and is not vandalizing anything, there was nothing they could do. We can't move fast enough. Good luck.

 

The OP has a fence... the kids climbed it.

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I seem to be the lone dissenter.

 

I would not call the police at this point.

 

Let me join you in dissent.

 

What the heck happened to "childhood" that kids can't explore their neighborhoods without people calling the police or CPS?

 

Personally, I'd love to see more kids out riding bikes, playing ball in vacant lots, climbing trees, without adults hovering all the time. That freedom I enjoyed as a child are lost to today's children. It is a big loss. And the reflexive response to call the police on children who are being children is at the crux of the problem.

 

If their is a pond safety issue, find a way to resolve it without going "nuclear."

 

Crikey!

 

Bill

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I seem to be the lone dissenter.

 

I would not call the police at this point.

 

I'd ensure that my backyard could not be entered. And I'd make meeting with the parents an absolute priority. I'd note what I'd observed so I could provide the parents with specific examples of what's going on with their kids. I'd make sure the parents know there is a pond in the neighborhood and that their kids climb fences to play in it. I'd walk the kids home repeatedly and inform the parents of the kids' activities. I'd tell the parents that unless something changes the neighbors will have no choice but to call the police.

 

I'd give them a chance before I'd involve law enforcement.

The way I see it, if these kids are playing in a pond, scaling fences, presumably crossing roads, they are in danger. And the OP is in danger, too, because she could face legal (and of course emotional) issues if a child is injured or drowned on her property. The imperative to involve law enforcement is higher than the imperative to avoid giving these parents the nuisance of a police visit.

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I seem to be the lone dissenter.

 

I would not call the police at this point.

 

I'd ensure that my backyard could not be entered. And I'd make meeting with the parents an absolute priority. I'd note what I'd observed so I could provide the parents with specific examples of what's going on with their kids. I'd make sure the parents know there is a pond in the neighborhood and that their kids climb fences to play in it. I'd walk the kids home repeatedly and inform the parents of the kids' activities. I'd tell the parents that unless something changes the neighbors will have no choice but to call the police.

 

I'd give them a chance before I'd involve law enforcement.

 

The OP has a fence, which the kids climbed to get into her yard. More than once. I'm not sure what else she should do beyond that. The kids ran away the times she caught them, so she was not able to talk to the kids about it - which also seems to indicate they know they shouldn't be there. She has tried to contact the parents and is not able to catch them at home - which is especially concerning since their young children are out in the neighborhood so much. Again, I'm not sure what else she should do, short of standing outside their house until they get home.

 

If it were just them playing on a backyard swing, I would say keep trying to talk to the family. But the OP has a pond, and these are young children who could drown. Aside from any legal liability issues, I wouldn't want to deal with the emotional fall out of knowing a child drowned on my property. I would take any and all steps available to make sure that didn't happen, including calling the police.

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Bill -- The issue is that they're destructive. They're not simply looking at the fish, they're throwing snacks to them and destroying electrical circuits. They stand on the top of the edge, leaning down to scoop things out. They don't engage in polite conversation when I come out; they run away.

 

They ring people's doorbells and run off. (There are many elderly people in the neighborhood, and they don't need to be bothered that way.) They destroy plants. They don't respect the word "no."

 

Other children in the neighborhood have polite manners, and their parents are well-known to everyone. (We have an especially friendly neighborhood with an active neighborhood group.) These children's parents moved in last year under a dark cloud, and they have not been eager to meet the neighbors. These are VERY YOUNG kids running wild, and their parents don't seem to know what they're doing.

 

It's a safety and property rights issue. But I want to resolve it peacefully.

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I agree that those kids need more boundaries and supervision. But I'd start with the parents, not the police.

 

I'm truly surprised that so many people would call the cops.

 

I ran around like this when I was a kid. We walked on the brick walls between the houses, climbed on the school roof, ran in the street, and played ding-dong ditch. I'm not saying that was right. But no one called the cops on us. They maybe yelled at us to stay off of their fence or out of their yard. And then we would.

 

I live in a neighborhood where kids cross streets, go into yards, play ding-dong ditch, ride their bikes in the street, and climb fences. Kids go to the park without parents. We don't call the police on them.

 

I'm not saying these kids aren't a problem. They sure seem to be. And I'm sorry the OP has to deal with them.

 

To me, the biggest worry is that pond. But, again, I'd go to the parents first.

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Let me join you in dissent.

 

What the heck happened to "childhood" that kids can't explore their neighborhoods without people calling the police or CPS?

 

Personally, I'd love to see more kids out riding bikes, playing ball in vacant lots, climbing trees, without adults hovering all the time. That freedom I enjoyed as a child are lost to today's children. It is a big loss. And the reflexive response to call the police on children who are being children is at the crux of the problem.

 

If their is a pond safety issue, find a way to resolve it without going "nuclear."

 

Crikey!

 

Bill

 

 

From reading your previous posts, you are more than one generation out from childhood, as I believe you are older than my parents. Many cities and neighborhoods are very different than when you were a kid. It isn't as safe as it used to be, and I'm not just talking about increased worries about stranger danger and what not, but more traffic, and less parents at home keeping a general eye out for the neighborhood children.

 

And these aren't grade schoolers, they are under the age of six, and they playing near water. That's different than playing in vacant lots and riding bikes.

 

OP, I would try very hard to talk to the parents before I called anyone. If you can't reach them, then try the certified letter. And can you ask for the police to increase drive-bys through the neighborhood before actually reporting them? Maybe the police will see them out unattended, without you having to make a report. For their safety, I hope their parents will become more aware of where their kids are and what they are doing.

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The fence is not ours; it's in their yard. It's very old and has a gate right at the top off a small cliff (which means you have to climb down the moment you walk out the gate). There's no way we can put a fence up in our yard, with the way the yards meet.

 

The pond is a tiny goldfish pond, about five feet around. It's about 18 inches deep. Not huge, but deep enough to drown in.

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Guest inoubliable

Haven't read all the responses but wanted to chime in before I have to run errands.

 

We had issues like this last summer with some neighbor kids. We were advised by the police to put up No Trespassing signs. We asked specifically about the need to tell the parent of the kids that we didn't want them on our property and the officer told us that wasn't necessary. Unless the kids have permission from us to be on the property, the law assumes they are trespassing. The No Trespassing signs are the icing on the cake. The kids don't even have to be able to read them. At that point, it's the parent's responsibility to know where the kid is and make sure they aren't on other people's property. This was told to us by the officer. We put up the signs and called the police every. time. they. trespassed.

 

They were evicted a couple of months ago. I know that you said your neighbors bought the house and so eviction won't happen. However, the reason the neighbors told another neighbor (they lived in a duplex) that the reason they didn't care about having to move was because the police department was telling them that just one more phone call was going to start resulting in fines and court dates and community service sentences. Maybe if you report it enough, the family will eventually get to the point where they'll have to inconvenience themselves and they'll correct their children's behavior. Or they'll move. ;)

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I agree with going to the parents first. But if OP has tried contacting the parents several times with no success, she needs to move on to the next step.

 

I also agree with kids being allowed to run around and play and just be kids. I roamed the neighborhood as a kid, I went into other people's (unfenced) yards to play on their swings, and I even rang a few doorbells and ran away. I never climbed a fence into someone else's backyard uninvited, and I certainly never destroyed anyone's property. That isn't kids being kids.

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Bill -- The issue is that they're destructive. They're not simply looking at the fish, they're throwing snacks to them and destroying electrical circuits. They stand on the top of the edge, leaning down to scoop things out. They don't engage in polite conversation when I come out; they run away.

 

They ring people's doorbells and run off. (There are many elderly people in the neighborhood, and they don't need to be bothered that way.) They destroy plants. They don't respect the word "no."

 

Other children in the neighborhood have polite manners, and their parents are well-known to everyone. (We have an especially friendly neighborhood with an active neighborhood group.) These children's parents moved in last year under a dark cloud, and they have not been eager to meet the neighbors. These are VERY YOUNG kids running wild, and their parents don't seem to know what they're doing.

 

It's a safety and property rights issue. But I want to resolve it peacefully.

 

So if they are crossing the line, speak with their parents.

 

But don't make the children pay for the perceived sins of their parents. And try to remember that kids running around the neighborhood having fun and getting into a little mischief was the way generations of Americans grew up (me included) and we (those of us who are old enough) look back on it as a "Golden Age" compared to the stifled and scheduled childhoods most kids have these days.

 

We have become a neurotic, fearful, and oppressive culture. We rant about "government oppression" but fail to realize we are the oppressors, and are ready to call in the police or CPS for "kids being kids" or to settle a score with an unliked neighbor.

 

Bill

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Let me join you in dissent.

 

What the heck happened to "childhood" that kids can't explore their neighborhoods without people calling the police or CPS?

 

Personally, I'd love to see more kids out riding bikes, playing ball in vacant lots, climbing trees, without adults hovering all the time. That freedom I enjoyed as a child are lost to today's children. It is a big loss. And the reflexive response to call the police on children who are being children is at the crux of the problem.

 

If their is a pond safety issue, find a way to resolve it without going "nuclear."

 

Crikey!

 

Bill

 

OK, what would you do in this situation? The oldest child is six. They children repeatedly caused damage to your property. There is a potential safety issue. The parents won't listen. What would you do?

 

 

 

 

Let's remove the BB gun option, at least for the present. :tongue_smilie:

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So if they are crossing the line, speak with their parents.

 

But don't make the children pay for the perceived sins of their parents. And try to remember that kids running around the neighborhood having fun and getting into a little mischief was the way generations of Americans grew up (me included) and we (those of us who are old enough) look back on it as a "Golden Age" compared to the stifled and scheduled childhoods most kids have these days.

 

We have become a neurotic, fearful, and oppressive culture. We rant about "government oppression" but fail to realize we are the oppressors, and are ready to call in the police or CPS for "kids being kids" or to settle a score with an unliked neighbor.

 

Bill

 

Not sure if you realize this but the police are likely to talk to the parents, not the kids..........................

 

Anyway, part of getting into mischief is getting caught and having to deal with the consequences. Kids back then certainly didn't ring doorbells and run or throw food into a decorative pond or wreak havoc without at least getting yelled at.

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And these aren't grade schoolers, they are under the age of six, and they playing near water.

 

 

AND they are trespassing to do it! It's one thing to roam the neighborhood when you're a kid. I did it, and to some degree my kids do it. My not my youngest, and he (or any of the others) SURE AS HECK don't crawl through someone's back fence and then play in their backyard and trash it. If they are invited? Yes, by all means. If they are breaking in? Absolutely not! And my 6 y.o and under kids wouldn't even be given the opportunity!

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These kids are being destructive, and scaling a brick wall to get at the pond.

 

Not what I'd consider typical childhood explorations.

 

 

Me either!!! These are children under the age of SIX climbing fences and trashing other people's property. I was entirely free range as a young child and if my parents had found out I did that? They would have justly tanned my hide for it and paid for the damage.

 

If they were down by a local public land creek catching frogs and feeding trout and making fishing poles or bows and arrows from sticks? Yes, my kids do that and I think it's fabulous.

 

If my kids climb over someone's fence or even just walk onto their property without a fence, and mess with other people's property?

 

They are going to catch hell from me even if they didn't damage anything. They know they have no right to trespass, much less mess with other people's property. And if they can't figure that out - then they aren't mature enough to be wandering the neighborhood alone.

 

Good grief. I yell at my kids to not walk or ride bikes on people's lawn. Just bc I don't care about having a golf course manicured lawn doesn't mean my kids can run and play on the lawns of neighbors who do.

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Let me join you in dissent.

 

What the heck happened to "childhood" that kids can't explore their neighborhoods without people calling the police or CPS?

 

Personally, I'd love to see more kids out riding bikes, playing ball in vacant lots, climbing trees, without adults hovering all the time. That freedom I enjoyed as a child are lost to today's children. It is a big loss. And the reflexive response to call the police on children who are being children is at the crux of the problem.

 

If their is a pond safety issue, find a way to resolve it without going "nuclear."

 

Crikey!

 

Bill

 

 

 

I don't have problems with kids exploring. I do have a problem with exploring that involves vandalism or exploring that puts a child in emminant danger. CPS is not the first resort that comes to my mind to solve problems. However, sometimes, there are cases where they should be called. (I haven't encountered any thankfully).

Bill, what do you think the solution is to the pond issue without going nuclear? (I am not being snarky). One of the reason I love this board is there are so many solutions that I have never thought of that have come from here.

 

In my opinion, the problem is that in our society, we have moved into a sue everyone mode of operating. In this case, there is danger that the children can drown and the owner will be held liable. We have also moved from community where people worked together watching the kids. It was acceptable for the other adults to step in because of a potentially dangerous situation. The parents would also call their kids out when something was unacceptable and another adult told them. Trust me, if my parents found out I did something, there was no let's go and find out what the situation is, it was like up to your room you are gounded. We have lost that. Not that that was all good. But, it is a change. So, if you have parents who don't watch their kids, and they don't listen when you talk to them about concerns, and than something horrific, death or injury happens, the people that live where it happened are liable.

 

Story:

Young boy (7) is riding bike in the middle of the street at 9:30 at night, in the summer. A neighbor says are you on your way home. It is getting late and it will be hard for people to see you on your bike. Also, requests that he move to the side of the street, so he doesn't get hit. Boy tells neighbor F* off. It is none of your F*n business. My dh and I and the neighbor are stunned, and what do you do? Growing up, going to the parents, they would have taken care of it. Now, not so much.

 

And no, not everyone is like this everywhere. However, many more people are than before.

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I meant a fence that the children can't climb through. The OP said they climbed through it. Maybe I misunderstood the OP. (?)

 

Even if her lot is fairly small, a privacy fence costs at least a few thousand dollars. That would not be my first step in dealing with annoying neighbor kids.

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From reading your previous posts, you are more than one generation out from childhood, as I believe you are older than my parents. Many cities and neighborhoods are very different than when you were a kid. It isn't as safe as it used to be, and I'm not just talking about increased worries about stranger danger and what not, but more traffic, and less parents at home keeping a general eye out for the neighborhood children.

 

And these aren't grade schoolers, they are under the age of six, and they playing near water. That's different than playing in vacant lots and riding bikes.

 

OP, I would try very hard to talk to the parents before I called anyone. If you can't reach them, then try the certified letter. And can you ask for the police to increase drive-bys through the neighborhood before actually reporting them? Maybe the police will see them out unattended, without you having to make a report. For their safety, I hope their parents will become more aware of where their kids are and what they are doing.

 

 

It is often more safe in places now than it ever was.

 

What's changed is a media culture that promulgates fear for profit. People's perception of fear is what's changed, not the reality. This has lead to self-imposed restrictions on our freedoms that are far more onerous than anything "the government" has ever tried to impose (and by a wide margin).

 

Kids lives today are often stifled. It is sad to witness. In two days I'll be 55. I've seen the freedoms of what was was a once cherished "red-blooded American childhood" choked to death. If you think today is better in this regard, we will need to disagree.

 

If there is a problem with the pond resolve it. But calling the police, or CPS for this sort of stuff??? Come on!

 

Bill

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My parents were born in the late 30s and early 40s. They would have hauled the kids to the parents front door (omg. Can you picture the crap storm if someone touched their precious babies today?!) and maybe expected payment.

 

If they were crappy parents who were known to be useless, my parents absolutely would have called the cops.

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It is often more safe in places now than it ever was.

 

What's changed is a media culture that promulgates fear for profit. People's perception of fear is what's changed, not the reality. This has lead to self-imposed restrictions on our freedoms that are far more onerous than anything "the government" has ever tried to impose (and by a wide margin).

 

Kids lives today are often stifled. It is sad to witness. In two days I'll be 55. I've seen the freedoms of what was was a once cherished "red-blooded American childhood" choked to death. If you think today is better in this regard, we will need to disagree.

 

If there is a problem with the pond resolve it. But calling the police, or CPS for this sort of stuff??? Come on!

 

Bill

 

 

Resolve it how? I'm truly curious. She's already attempted to talk to the parents. What is the next step after that if she doesn't want to involve the police?

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The OP says she hasn't yet spoken with the parents, or with the children. So, there is opportunity for growth!

 

Here's an idea. Knock on the door when you know they are home. Introduce yourself warmly, say you wish you had met them sooner, say something nice-ish about the children -- anything will do.

 

Let them know you've seen the kids in your yard (don't mention the damage to the pond yet). Say that you know they are very interested in your fish pond because they've climbed into the yard to see the pond and try to play with the fish.

 

Let him/her know that the kids cannot, ever, be in your yard alone due to the danger of the pond. But, invite them over to see the fish with you. Give them some lemonade or something when they come, and teach them the rules about the pond and the fish. Tell the children clearly (firmly, kindly, firmly) that they can NOT EVER come alone, but that you can host them for little 'fish pond dates' (or whatever).

 

Emphasize (warmly, kindly, firmly) to the parents that you are very concerned for their children's safety. Tell them that the kids cannot ever come unsupervised to your yard.

 

I bet that would work. If not, well, then I'd reconsider.

 

But I would not start with law enforcement.

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OK, what would you do in this situation? The oldest child is six. They children repeatedly caused damage to your property. There is a potential safety issue. The parents won't listen. What would you do?

 

 

 

 

Let's remove the BB gun option, at least for the present. :tongue_smilie:

 

How about—and here's a really wild idea—you invite the neighbor kids over to see the pond (to satisfy their curiosity, and while they're there you let them feed the fish with proper fish food?

 

While they are visiting you explain you don't want them jumping the fence and going into your yard (and why) and that while it isn't good to throw people food in the pond if they want to come back in a few weeks and feed the fish again when the family is home they can knock on the door. Explain they can't come everyday, because your children have school at home, but of they want to come over every one-in-a-while while you're home, they can knock.

 

How's that?

 

Bill

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Bill -- I'm close to your age. I fondly remember roaming neighborhoods, visiting older people -- all the neighbors -- at home (WHAT ON EARTH was I thinking, that I'd just show up at people's houses, expecting them to entertain me??), and riding my bike everywhere, all day long. The adults I visited were extremely kind to me, inviting me in and showing me around their gardens and telling me stories about their grandchildren. This happened all the time, every day.

 

But I cannot EVER remember going up close to someone's house and messing with their stuff without permission. I would have been terrified to do such a thing. And if I had damaged something, I would never have shown my face again anywhere where these people might see me and suspect that I'd done it.

 

Also, when I was under five, I was not running wild. I clearly remember my mom telling me a story about a young child who had disappeared and never been seen again. She had tears in her eyes when she told that story. It wasn't until my mid-elementary years that I got more independent.

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msjones she has tried to talk to the neighbors without luck, and reports other neighbors have had no luck trying to talk to them either.

 

Just to be clear, when I say call the police, I don't mean call CPS. No one said call CPS. There is a pretty huge difference.

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How about—and here's a really wild idea—you invite the neighbor kids over to see the pond (to satisfy their curiosity, and while they're there you let them feed the fish with proper fish food?

 

While they are visiting you explain you don't want them jumping the fence and going into your yard (and why) and that while it isn't good to throw people food in the pond if they want to come back in a few weeks and feed the fish again when the family is home they can knock on the door. Explain they can't come everyday, because your children have school at home, but of they want to come over every one-in-a-while while you're home, they can knock.

 

How's that?

 

Bill

 

Funny that you offer "a really wild idea" like the OP is some sort of evil witch neighbor. Not sure how she became the bad guy here.

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How about—and here's a really wild idea—you invite the neighbor kids over to see the pond (to satisfy their curiosity, and while they're there you let them feed the fish with proper fish food?

 

While they are visiting you explain you don't want them jumping the fence and going into your yard (and why) and that while it isn't good to throw people food in the pond if they want to come back in a few weeks and feed the fish again when the family is home they can knock on the door. Explain they can't come everyday, because your children have school at home, but of they want to come over every one-in-a-while while you're home, they can knock.

 

How's that?

 

Bill

 

I like this.

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Bill -- I'm close to your age. I fondly remember roaming neighborhoods, visiting older people -- all the neighbors -- at home (WHAT ON EARTH was I thinking, that I'd just show up at people's houses, expecting them to entertain me??), and riding my bike everywhere, all day long. The adults I visited were extremely kind to me, inviting me in and showing me around their gardens and telling me stories about their grandchildren. This happened all the time, every day.

 

But I cannot EVER remember going up close to someone's house and messing with their stuff without permission. I would have been terrified to do such a thing. And if I had damaged something, I would never have shown my face again anywhere where these people might see me and suspect that I'd done it.

 

Also, when I was under five, I was not running wild. I clearly remember my mom telling me a story about a young child who had disappeared and never been seen again. She had tears in her eyes when she told that story. It wasn't until my mid-elementary years that I got more independent.

 

So the traumatic story you were told has been magnified ten-thousand fold by today's media culture. Things are not more dangerous now than then, but the fear, paranoia (call it what you will) has put an end to things you remember as normal. No more riding bike around the neighborhood, no more showing up at people's houses uninvited. No more living without fear.

 

If the children are damaging your stuff, deal with it. Speak with the kid's parents. Calling the police or CPS is a disproportionate response.

 

Bill

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msjones she has tried to talk to the neighbors without luck, and reports other neighbors have had no luck trying to talk to them either.

 

Just to be clear, when I say call the police, I don't mean call CPS. No one said call CPS. There is a pretty huge difference.

 

I believe she says she has not met the parents or spoken to the children. Look at her first post.

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