A Homeschool That Fits YOU

[stripe]

I don't encourage someone to use a packaged or boxed program to start bc I think they aren't capable of doing something else or because I think there is better out there. I do it because I know it is easier and better for many people for many reasons.

Doesn't SWB suggest the same thing, too?

 

I also think it has to be okay to say, not everyone has to fit our idea of what a homeschooling family is like. As you said, not only does not everyone HAVE a house filled with books, but not everyone wants one. Multum non multa and all of that. More is not necessarily better. I know I've got a lot of junk. Hunter has brought this, too, that not everyone wants homeschooling to be the center of their family life.

 

I almost never relate to threads on here that are on the theme of "You know you're a homeschooling family because..." because usually they're full of Latin jokes, and I don't particularly associate Latin with homeschooling (I took Latin in public school; my homeschooled kids haven't learned any), or some witty/brilliant comment about something. I don't have it in my mind that homeschooled kids are smarter or better educated than anyone else, frankly.

[PachiSusan]

Hunter is my guru. :)

 

I use a boxed curriculum because it frees up me to be a better teacher and allows me to know my foundation is set and that I can now use my creativity on things that are a strength and her interests.

 

I am not gifted with curriculum searching and lesson plan writing , but I am gifted in other ways that make our home school the right place for our learning to happen.

[Murphy101]

Hunter is my guru. :)

 

I use a boxed curriculum because it frees up me to be a better teacher and allows me to know my foundation is set and that I can now use my creativity on things that area strength and her interests.

 

I am not gifted with curriculum searching and lesson plan writing , but I am gifted in other ways that make our home school the right place for our learning to happen.

 

And as an aside....

 

I ponder that many of those who judge "box users" are secretly very envious of them. I for one, would be downright giddy to have a box of stuff arrive every year and that's all that was required of me to plan academicly for the year for 7 kids and feel confident I had everything they needed and nothing I had to tweak out and in my price range. If that worked for me or my kids? You'd have to beat me off with a stick to keep me from signing up pronto.

 

Alas, such has not been my fate, so I will spend considerable time doing it differently. :)

[I.Dup.]

And as an aside....

 

I ponder that many of those who judge "box users" are secretly very envious of them. I for one, would be downright giddy to have a box of stuff arrive every year and that's all that was required of me to plan academicly for the year for 7 kids and feel confident I had everything they needed and nothing I had to tweak out and in my price range. If that worked for me or my kids? You'd have to beat me off with a stick to keep me from signing up pronto.

 

Alas, such has not been my fate, so I will spend considerable time doing it differently. :)

 

Why won't it work for your kids? Is it because you have so many different kids on different levels? Or your kids are too smart or creative for that, or...?

[Runningmom80]

I would love a boxed curriculum. Hey, I'd love to send my kids to PS even! :laugh:

[Plink]

Hunter is my guru. :)

I use a boxed curriculum because it frees up me to be a better teacher and allows me to know my foundation is set and that I can now use my creativity on things that area strength and her interests.

I am not gifted with curriculum searching and lesson plan writing , but I am gifted in other ways that make our home school the right place for our learning to happen.

 

I agree! Box curriculum for some subjects allows me the freedom and time to get creative with the ones I choose to play with.

 

There is no better, there are only choices.

 

This is evident in my home too, now that I consider it. My school room is almost always pristine, my laundry room, meh, not so much. Choices. Some subjects get messy, and I am okay with that, and even enjoy it, but I have a desire for organization too.

 

We need to do what is right for us, regardless of anyone else's opinion. If you are a wooden toy person, don't try to make online classes work for your family just because it sounds good. You will be miserable with the reality. In the same way, if your family loves technology, you won't be happy in materials that don't allow time for your passion.

 

Hunter is right. Know yourself.

[Farrar]

This is interesting about box vs. no box. I like what Stripe has had to say about it. I definitely agree. There's nothing wrong with a box curriculum. I definitely couldn't use it because it doesn't fit with my own vision of what I want from homeschooling. It would match my house, like in Hunter's metaphor. I crave personalization of levels and to do a lot of the curriculum making myself. As was pointed out, it's hard on the internet sometimes to say anything without feeling like you're shaming those who have made a different choice, but I like the idea of trying to help each person find what they need - what matches their structure and style.

 

I think one of the things that I see is people who come into homeschooling thinking they have to have a box to really get it right. That's obviously not true. And sometimes those are people for whom the box wouldn't match their style.

 

And, conversely, sometimes I think people come on here or other boards or meet homeschoolers IRL and get the idea that box curricula are bad and they have to do it themselves to do a good job or be a "real" homeschooler. Also obviously not true. And, again, sometimes those are people for whom the box would be a good match.

 

I guess that's why I feel like people should try to figure themselves, their style, and their kids out before getting to far into the homeschooling community - because I feel like curriculum often takes over the conversation too quickly. So instead of thinking, "What do I want my kids to do for science?" parents are sitting there with BFSU and RSO and Elemental Science and The Handbook of Nature Study trying to pick one. But they've not answered the first question, so the all the things feeding into the choice are other people's perceptions and ideas. It would almost be nice to be like, "Wait, before I tell you how we do it, you should think about yourself and how you envision doing it." Because - not that we can't learn from each other - but I've definitely had the experience of knowing people who were patterning after how I did things and seeing it totally flop for them. And I feel terrible! But it's like, okay, it's because I'm doing what works for me and they need to find what works for them.

[Murphy101]

Why won't it work for your kids? Is it because you have so many different kids on different levels? Or your kids are too smart or creative for that, or...?

 

Yes.

:)

 

Various reasons:

 

They weren't Catholic and the tweaking and modifying would be harder than just doing my own thing from the start.

 

They don't permit enough flexibility of subject levels. A late bloomer in reading who is advanced two grades in math for example.

 

They use materials that don't work for us. Saxon math for example was a huge mistake for us and I should never have sacrificed the math that was working for the sake of having a complete program from somewhere.

 

They cost too much.

 

They aren't combining friendly when I want to combine.

 

Or they use too many teacher intensive elements.

 

Just this week I went to look at a Heart of Dakota Bigger level. It looked like I already owned most of the books, so buying a guide to plan it out for me was very enticing. But I went to look and it is not nearly all that well layed out. I wouldn't use the bible, the math, cursive, or spelling. The arts, history, reading and science were not always layed out right there in the daily grid, which I found mildly annoying. After looking at it in person, I know that it probably wouldn't work out as well as filing in my own grid plans like I have done for several years. Which is fine. Glad I found out before I bought it. :)

 

Now I will say that I have really enjoyed some boxed programs too. My daughter really loved Oak Meadow 4 the year she did it. My son really loved our time with Winter Promises Animal Worlds. Another son and daughter really liked the year they did Sonlight Core 3 together.

 

So why didn't we continue with those programs? Because when I looked at what we loved most about them, I didn't see that component in the next level of materials. For example, my dd loved the art in OM4. OM 5 has almost no art at all in it. The next WP levels weren't for us because the content would have required a lot more tweaking and wasn't a topic I really wanted to get into anyways at that age. SL core 3 was an anomaly of their program IMO. The rest would require far far too much work to make work for us than doing my own thing or using another provider.

[fraidycat]

Boxed is expensive, IMO. I can put together something for much less money.

 

And my DS would be horrendously insulted if he had to read grade 1 or 2 "readers". I already get asked why I'm "treating him like a baby" often enough when it comes to school. :confused1: Um, because you're in FIRST grade, and this is what FIRST graders need to know. :laugh: It's not even that he already knows what I'm teaching, but somehow he figures the work is "beneath him".

 

I would LOVE to use a box. LOVE it. I'm still muddling my way through, trying to figure out how to fit everything in.

[I.Dup.]

Thanks for the explanation, Martha. That makes sense.

 

 

My kids are too smart and creative.

 

LOL

 

I know, that sounds totally obnoxious to say, but that really IS what it comes down to.

 

 

See, my kids may be too "smart and creative" for it as well, but we'll probably never know because things that are not open and go just have not been getting done. As much as I would like them to, they just haven't. I'm really not sure of a way around that, which is why I asked Martha. I know she has lots of kids like I do (she has 3 more than me!)

 

We did TOG at the beginning of last year, and it only lasted 13 weeks. It was really only for one child and the upkeep of continued planning, printing, library hunting, organizing was just too much for me. I am looking into something different this year, including boxed. But I can see from Martha's response that I would have similar problems (I don't always like ALL the subjects included in boxed, mainly I'm just looking for something for the "extras" that aren't getting done, like history and science). We're good on math and language arts. I just don't know how to get it ALL done, having so many kids.

[birchbark]

I totally get what Hunter is saying. I have learned a lot about myself the last couple years, and what sort of schooling works best for me. But I never thought about your physical home being a reflection of that, and a clue for those who are trying to find their way.

 

I am not quite a minimalist, but my home is very simple and decluttered. Actually I prefer simplicity in every area: my recipes, my wardrobe, my schedule, etc. Yet beauty is very important to me too. I like having a well-decorated home. I skip the colorful, cluttered look of educational charts on the walls. We school in the dining room with all the school stuff concealed in baskets. We have a globe and a whiteboard in there, a few cork tiles, and a wall calendar with high-quality art. I try to buy attractive, hardcover editions of books whenever I can.

 

I love having fewer possessions of higher quality. And this very much fits what our homeschool has become. SImple and streamlined, with the addition of some arts. I think this is why the big Circe thread made such an impact on me; it helped me shed our full, CM-inspired program and extraneous activities. It showed me how to "de-clutter" our schoolday until all that was left was what was most important to us and of highest quality education-wise. I've always enjoyed researching and choosing curriculum, but often the actual schooling was not what I envisioned. This is the first year that I've enjoyed both the choosing AND the executing. Not that it is always fun, but it is doable and fulfilling.

 

I like our home to be full of light and natural materials, and low on multimedia. Not surprisingly, I have ended up with some Waldorf aspects in school. In the past, even though I loved beauty, I found teaching art to be intimidating. The simplicity, quality, beauty, and small repertoire of Waldorf arts has been a great fit here and actually gets done.

 

I know I can confidently walk past the vendors with the flashy multimedia curriculum because it is not for me. I've learned to choose thorough, solid programs that don't need supplementing. I enjoy Hunter's curriculum recommendations because she has a similar style to me.

 

I understand what some are saying, that the education of the children is more important that Mom's comfort. However I have found that to some extent, one flows out of the other. The curricula I like is actually what gets used. Many of us have multiple children and plan to homeschool for the long haul. We need to do what we can to avoid burnout, and having curricula that fits us as teacher can go a long way toward that. Like Alte Veste said there is a place for stretching where we can to accommodate a student, but it is best kept under control! If neither you nor your student can stretch far enough, then maybe that is a place to outsource.

 

Lots of good thoughts on this thread! Good to hear from AutumnOak again. :seeya:

 

Okay, you can go back to talking about boxes now. :D

[I.Dup.]

 

I think that's a huge factor (the many kids). I only have 2. I work one on one with them. I don't combine anything. I could not do that with more than 2. Nope. I couldn't. I even feel like sometimes I'm not doing all that I want to do because I have to split myself in 2.

 

Is my way better? I don't think it's necessarily better. Is the packaged, school textbooks not as good? I don't think that is necessarily true. You do what you gotta do to make stuff work. There are things I don't do well at all. I'll be the first to admit it. Because I can't do it all.

 

I don't use packaged, but for several subjects I have used scripted. There is no way I could stay sane if I had to pull everything together myself and plan all the details.

 

 

This thread has been good for me because I am realizing more and more as the years go by that a HUGE part of what we accomplish definitely has to do with my abilities and strengths. As an ADD, easily overwhelmed, not very social mom of many I have a lot of handicaps going for me and basically need to go with what gets done, lol. For us, that has consistently, always been the open and go stuff. As great as everything else looks!! Now that my older kids are getting older, they can be more responsible for their own subjects and organizing, which has been great. Audiobooks could be a great thing to include more of this next year. As much as I love reading aloud and plan to do it, it just doesn't get done as often as I would like because every time I sit down to read everyone starts climbing all over me, yelling, etc and it just feels so frustrating and pointless. Working through naptime isn't an option since that is the only break I get (I pay a mother's helper to come over during this time so I can nap too). So we just have to do what works. It's figuring out what that is that can be tricky!

[Pawz4me]

 

My kids are too smart and creative.

 

LOL

 

I know, that sounds totally obnoxious to say, but that really IS what it comes down to.

 

 

My oldest, who was home schooled for four years using Calvert, is being actively "courted" by the likes of Harvard, Duke and Penn (among many other top-notch schools). See what happens to poor dumb, uncreative kids who use a boxed curriculum? :lol:

[PachiSusan]

People keep saying boxed curricula are so expensive. I pay 490 all inclusive : tests, books, lesson plans, counseling,, transcript services and standardized testing if I choose to use them. I think that is very reasonable.

[Pawz4me]

I think they would do well under a variety of circumstances with different types of curriculum.

 

I think you're absolutely right about that. We can talk and talk about what's the "best" curriculum or educational philosophy, but at the end of the day I think simply living in a family that values education is a *much* bigger factor than those.

[Wheres Toto]

We aren't homeschooling because of any issues or dislike for the public school system. My oldest was in public school almost from the beginning (K through 2nd was Catholic school) and graduated with a good education and without ever having any major problems. We homeschool because my son is smart, but has a few social and behavioral issues.

 

Especially starting out, I would have loved to use either a virtual public school or a boxed curriculum. We didn't/don't mainly because:

1) there are no free virtual public schools in NJ (except one for at-risk kids living in Newark, I think K12 is coming available in September)

2) we started when ds was 4 (just after he "graduated" from early intervention with the request that he not come to kindergarten until he was 6) and there was a definite feeling of having plenty of time to figure it out.

3) they are too expensive

4) as secular homeschoolers, most boxed options would require too much tweaking and supplementing. If I'm going to have to do all that work anyway, I'd rather not spend a ton of money.

5) After almost 4 years of homeschooling my son is working on different levels in every subject with a 3 or 4 year range, so my dreams of being able to stick him in front of the computer for school will probably never be fulfilled.

 

For our main subjects (math and language arts), I do use things that are very open-and-go/do the next thing, require little planning, and it doesn't matter if you miss a day, or a week, here and there. To me, that is easier than a virtual or boxed curriculum that either has specific expectations for the amount of work to be done, or expects all subjects to proceed at the same rate.

[*Michelle*]

People keep saying boxed curricula are so expensive. I pay 490 all inclusive : tests, books, lesson plans, counseling,, transcript services and standardized testing if I choose to use them. I think that is very reasonable.

 

I think i it depends on how many kids, though. $490 is quite reasonable for one, but x 4 is a little pricey. One of my deciding factors for a program is whether it's reusable.

[Murphy101]

People keep saying boxed curricula are so expensive. I pay 490 all inclusive : tests, books, lesson plans, counseling,, transcript services and standardized testing if I choose to use them. I think that is very reasonable.

 

That can be a lot. Especially if someone doesn't need or want testing, counseling or transcript services. Especially if they tend to not use the plans as written. Especially if they have muliple kids to buy for. Comparing that to the cost of books only is a significant difference. It doesn't matter how good a deal it is if they can't afford it. My wallet doesn't grow more money just bc it's a good deal. ;)

[8filltheheart]

 

My oldest, who was home schooled for four years using Calvert, is being actively "courted" by the likes of Harvard, Duke and Penn (among many other top-notch schools). See what happens to poor dumb, uncreative kids who use a boxed curriculum? :lol:

 

 

I don't feel that way about those that use boxed curriculum. Some of the kids that we know that have earned amazing scholarship $$ have been Seton graduates. Those same families are also some of the main ones that we know that take academics seriously.

 

 

Why won't it work for your kids? Is it because you have so many different kids on different levels? Or your kids are too smart or creative for that, or...?

 

 

I don't use boxed curriculum for multiple reasons, main reasons are b/c of my own personality. For my kids, one reason is b/c I have some that are all over the place academically and don't function on a single grade level. I also am a poorer teacher when I use a pre-planned curriculum b/c I rely on the plans and don't dig into the materials like I should. When I have created the plans myself, I am thoroughly engaged in the process and I can teach/ask better questions, follow their questions, etc on a deeper level. I also get bored when I use pre-planned materials. I need to have my interest engaged to keep me focused across so many different kids/topics/and yr after yr.

[Runningmom80]

My kid is way too asynchronus to use a box curriculum. I have researched several, they just don't seem like they would work for a kid whose abilities span several grades.

 

 

 

[regentrude]

Why won't it work for your kids? Is it because you have so many different kids on different levels? Or your kids are too smart or creative for that, or...?

 

Count me in for the ones for whom a boxed curriculum does not work, for many different reasons:

My kids abhor busy work, worksheets, fill-in-the-blanks, anything scripted and "schoolish". They need little repetition.

We prefer to have the flexibility and freedom to select individual materials homeschooling gives us and do not fit into any "homeschool philosophy" box.

My kids do not fit the "grade level" designation. Boxed curriculum does not work for a 6th grader who needs rigorous algebra but not 9th grade materials across the board.

And simply: the math and science materials that I have identified to be the best for my children would not be included in any boxed homeschool curriculum.

 

None of this means that they may not work wonderfully for other students, or that they do not provide a solid education. They just would not work for our family.

[Runningmom80]

 

 

Well speaking of boxed, there actually are very few secular boxed sets out there. That isn't a bad price, but again, I haven't seen anything in the realm of secular for that price.

 

Oh, I totally forgot about the whole religious v. Secular. We need a secular, multi grade boxed curriculum. Does that exist? I dont even care how much it costs. Lol

[Shmead]

This is really the same argument at two-income vs SAHP or HS vs PS. What you are looking for is a big decision that, frankly, no one makes casually and involves a ton of work and sacrifice. There was a thread a while ago about explaining why you homeschool without sounding like a jerk: it's a problem, because you can't pretend you don't think it's a big deal, considering all the blood, sweat, and tears you put into homeschooling. And since almost everyone here has a SAHP, I think we've all been on the same side of that argument: you don't want to say someone else is making the wrong choice, or doing wrong by their kid, but, well, you don't stay home in this day and age unless you feel pretty strongly about it.

 

I guess what I am saying is that whatever one chooses, it can be really hard to thread the needle and make the point "I feel really really really strongly about this FOR ME, but I in no way have any opinion about you and what is right for your family". Even if you are telling the truth, people don't believe you, and frankly, sometimes people don't mean it. Sometimes when they (sometimes me) get in groups that are totally like-minded, a lot of judgmental ideas come out.

[Runningmom80]

Op, sorry this got derailed to a box/no box discussion.

 

 

I personally would love more discussion on the original topic of homeschooling for you, if anyone has any more insights!

[TheAutumnOak]

The original thing that really fascinated me about Hunter's comment was the part about choosing curriculum that is totally different from yourself, thinking you need to be something that you feel is better than yourself...I am really using this time to think about who I really am, not who I think I should be...I think a lot of the time my curricula choices reflect who I think I should be, what I think I should offer my kids...Maybe that is why nothing has really worked out for us so far...I am exploring this idea of figuring out what type of lifestyle we live and homeschool according to that, instead of trying to change our lifestyle to fit the homeschool I *think* we should have...This may come out sounding confusing...I really hope it makes sense...

[iona]

Interesting discussion!

My house has too much stuff that gets in the way, same goes for curriculum...hmm. I do think i buy things that represent what i think i should be using/covering.

i liked what a pp said about reviewing the year by seeing what got done.

I dream of a minimalist home I just don't know how to get there. Do I need to get rid of everything or just get better closed storage.

[km123175]

I have been having this same discussion on another on-line group.

 

I have come down to, I can't function only with a curriculum that is totally not me as the teacher/facilitator/mentor etc. I have a teaching philosophy that I developed/wrote when I was looking for university teaching positions. I have found that I ascribe to the same philosophy for the education of my own children - and homeschooling them has made me a better faculty member. :) In short, I think there is essential knowledge that people should learn (i.e., the grammar if you will) and to learn people must be actively engaged in the learning process. Knowledge can't be poured into brains. Once (or as) the "essential knowledge" is gained (or in process) this leaves a lot of room for specializing in areas of interest and forging ones own path.

 

I have been struggling with this (does the curriculum need to match the teacher or the student - which is priority) for the last few months. My younger daughter is a very different learner from me - any my older daughter (who is just like me). She didn't think school was fun and wanted some things changed up to better fit how she learns and enjoys life. I don't know that my current sig. shows what we're currently doing, but it's working for us - now.

 

I've changed to some curriculum that better matches her way of doing things, and still meets my needs as the facilitator of learning. As I was figuring myself out (and determining if curriculum could work if it didn't work for the parent) we tried a boxed curriculum [this has nothing to do with boxed/unboxed curriculum discussion and is just a descriptor for a specific curriculum I tried that happened to be boxed] that is designed for hands-on and creative learners and I changed up how we approached our math topics. She was happy with read alouds and map/geography work that we were already doing.

 

She enjoyed the boxed program that we implemented, but it was very difficult for me. I felt like we were wasting time and never accomplishing anything [ again, not because it was boxed, but because of the nature of the program hands-on creative activities with books feeling supplementary to the activities as opposed to my preferred ways of activities supplementing books]. The topics included did not line up specifically with my concept of the "essentials" nor did it match with how I learn.

 

Deep somewhere in my logical brain, she was learning something and we weren't "wasting time," but every time I pulled the materials out I felt like it was wasting time. So, it doesn't really work for me because I like to feel like I'm making progress on essential knowledge. Since she likes the curriculum (I wouldn't say she loves it, but once she gets started on projects she usually doesn't want to stop), we're using it in part to supplement her need for that type of activity/interaction. Since we all have limited time and may not be able to complete/finish everything that a curriculum offers or suggests, I naturally wanted (and sometimes did) eliminate the parts that did not resonate with me. Of course those are the parts that probably would resonate with her. I also made concerted effort to retain the essence of the program and the aspects that also offer the aspects she wants included in her school day.

 

A curriculum that doesn't get done is far inferior to something that does get done (to paraphrase one of the regulars on this forum).

 

On the other hand, I've found some programs that are very scripted/open and go that allow me to see that we're making progress, and that allow her the hands-on types of activities that she craves. These are what work the best for us right now.

 

I think as that younger daughter gets older and begins doing more work independently what works for us will change because I will not have to be as directly involved in carrying out the lesson plans or overseeing specific projects. At that stage it will be much less important for the curriculum we choose to fit with our styles; it will be more important that it fits with hers for the things she learns more independently.

[Kelly1730]

To me the difference is in how much you stretch yourself and the number of areas in which you try to stretch at once. I think everyone should stretch a little. It's good for us to grow and improve, to shore up our weak areas. But if everything is a weak area? Maybe pick curricula that takes you by the hand and makes your life easy for 80% of subjects. Then pick the most important subjects and/or your comfort areas to pick curricula that demand more of you. When I first started, I tried to stretch myself in every way, for every subject, all the time. Simultaneously, I was trying to stretch at parenting (frequently solo), keeping house, making great healthy meals 3x a day, doing school, self-educating, being a good friend, mother, etc. Essentially, I was trying to be the best at everything, right from the start. In the end, I just felt like I was failing at everything, even what I was already pretty darn good at, because I was not living up to my impossible expectations of doing everything exactly right all the time...because it wasn't possible.

 

And typing that all out makes me sound a little insane, LOL. But there you go. :lol:

 

I feel like this is where I am right now. There are so many areas in my life that I feel I need to get a better handle on that I don't know where to begin. I also feel like summer is the best time to accomplish this but then summer comes and goes and I don't know that I made any visible strides. We have a wonderful life, I just that I know I can do better. Better education for my kids ( I feel like I dropped the ball in a lot of areas this year), better homemaking routines, better meals for my family, better use of our time, etc. I may have impossible expectations too but it's good to have a goal, yes? But how to get there from here?

[Hunter]

I dream of a minimalist home I just don't know how to get there. Do I need to get rid of everything or just get better closed storage.

 

Why? What's stopping you? Maybe it's not what you REALLY want, but think you SHOULD do?

 

For me minimalism is a compulsion. When possessions start to pile up, I start panicking, seriously panicking. I have more books, curriculum and book cases, than all my other possessions combined. Seriously, I still sleep on a piece of foam on the floor, and all my other furniture is just folding chairs and tables...except the 13 bookcases. :biggrinjester:

 

Other than one pair of jeans and one sundress, my only clothes are black and grey sweats, yoga pants and t-shirts, and a pair of hiking boots and a pair of flip-flops.

 

So for me, my books and curriculum got out of hand of the REST of my life. Somehow I believed I SHOULD be using things that were not fitting MY lifestyle.

 

Many people need to downsize a bit, but would never be truly comfortable actually LIVING with minimalism. I mix my cakes up in a stock pot with a potato masher, and then cook them in the cover of my cast-iron dutch oven. With one of my neighbors who is just like me eats with me, we sit on the floor with a plastic knife (stolen from Whole Foods) sticking out of a can a frosting, and we just hack pieces of hot cake out of the cast-iron cover with a pocket knife, slather frosting on them, and eat them off of napkins (also stolen). I know it's bad to help yourself to the napkins and plastics by the door when you only bought milk and not takeout, but...okay, now you know how bad I am.

 

Is this the "right" way to live. It's the right way for ME. Well...maybe not the stealing of plastics and napkins. :lol: But otherwise...it's the way I HAVE to live, for right now, to not be crawling out of my skin with anxiety.

 

Some people really are happier living in plenty, even when the plenty gets in their way a bit. Just like I'm happier living in minimalism, even when I'm struggling to improvise.

 

Some of us live in homes that are NOT us. Sometimes it's something forced on us by a spouse or economics or a fear of not fitting in. But usually there is SOMETHING about our homes that can give us some clues about who we really are.

 

The same for clothing. Most people don't dress in a way that totally reflects their core personality. We often dress our role. But even within the roles, there are hints, though, and those hints are very telling.

[Critterfixer]

What fits me is what gets done.

Anything else is fluff. Fluff is pretty, fluff is nice, but if it doesn't get done it just takes up space and clutters up the view.

 

I look at my educational philosophy like building a bridge. You need to have an idea of what you want to see at the end. (NOT always what you want to see right now!) You never build a foundation until you know what is going to be resting on it. If I want a classical education for my boys (or at least to see them have a more well-rounded education than myself) I've got to be prepared for the messy process of building it. I'd sure hate to have a perfect time playing around in the water when we needed to be driving piles.

 

Yes, things need to work for you. But don't get too hung up on what is right for you AT THIS TIME. And don't feel bad about cutting out fluff, don't feel upset if everybody around you is using the latest, greatest Math curriculum that makes you feel like an idiot for not being able to "get it." Do what you need to build the bridge for and with your kids.

 

Lastly, I think it is important to show our children the direction they need to use their bridge when the time comes. I was blessed with a good mentor in my childhood to show me HOW to use my education. I don't practice medicine the same way she does, but I like to think that some of her compassion, her patient listening and her very gentle touch with the animals is reflected in the way I practice. In the same way, I hope that the boys learn the habits of dilegence, gentleness, respect for others and themselves, kindness, compassion and a simple joy in life that will serve them well wherever their bridge takes them. Lately it has just seemed more clear to me that the idea of education as the teaching of virtue often gets lost in the pursuit of the perfect curriculum. And the cool thing about teaching virtue is that it isn't something you learn from the curriculum as much as you learn it from the teacher.

 

Just my musings on picking curriculum.

[Runningmom80]

What fits me is what gets done.

Anything else is fluff. Fluff is pretty, fluff is nice, but if it doesn't get done it just takes up space and clutters up the view.

 

I look at my educational philosophy like building a bridge. You need to have an idea of what you want to see at the end. (NOT always what you want to see right now!) You never build a foundation until you know what is going to be resting on it. If I want a classical education for my boys (or at least to see them have a more well-rounded education than myself) I've got to be prepared for the messy process of building it. I'd sure hate to have a perfect time playing around in the water when we needed to be driving piles.

 

Yes, things need to work for you. But don't get too hung up on what is right for you AT THIS TIME. And don't feel bad about cutting out fluff, don't feel upset if everybody around you is using the latest, greatest Math curriculum that makes you feel like an idiot for not being able to "get it." Do what you need to build the bridge for and with your kids.

 

Lastly, I think it is important to show our children the direction they need to use their bridge when the time comes. I was blessed with a good mentor in my childhood to show me HOW to use my education. I don't practice medicine the same way she does, but I like to think that some of her compassion, her patient listening and her very gentle touch with the animals is reflected in the way I practice. In the same way, I hope that the boys learn the habits of dilegence, gentleness, respect for others and themselves, kindness, compassion and a simple joy in life that will serve them well wherever their bridge takes them. Lately it has just seemed more clear to me that the idea of education as the teaching of virtue often gets lost in the pursuit of the perfect curriculum. And the cool thing about teaching virtue is that it isn't something you learn from the curriculum as much as you learn it from the teacher.

 

Just my musings on picking curriculum.

 

This is a great point. I'm also really realizing the importance of relationship building, between my kids and I, sibling relationships, etc.

[Wee Pip]

Soooo...anyone keep a messy, disorganized house? What does your curriculum look like? LOL! I'm a distracted person that does things when the mood strikes (i.e., just noticed laundry hasn't been done, so in a fit of passion, I'll crank out several loads until I get distracted by something else...) I'm not an "upkeep" person, which meant when we were house hunting, we passed up all the nicely manicured lawns and intricate landscaping. What Hunter said makes sense. I think I'm always caught between these realities: the person I really want to be (incredibly organized, on-task), vs. the chaotic, distracted person I truly am. Do the next thing works well for me, with a simple checklist that I make up weekly. I have to keep it simple. Handing SOTW over to my 10yo and saying "read the next chapter" is about as complex as it gets. I simply cannot keep up with coordinating the activity guide and extra library reading. I'd love to, I really would! But I simply cannot. When I learn, I like to grab 10 books on the same topic and delve in (and I get completely immersed in it). This makes me a good teacher when I can pull from that knowledge on the fly and share it with my kids. They aren't always willing listeners, though. And I cannot expect that they will tackle subjects the same way (10 books and complete immersion). So for us, having a simple daily checklist and 1 simple do-the-next-thing for each subject, works. I could not keep grades and administer tests (upkeep). Likewise, I could not go the completely creative route, either (too much clutter, too much to have to save and continue for days on end). But I try to sit with my kids while doing math and grammar, so I can see that they actually understand the topic and are learning. If I hang posters up on the wall, I'm sure to not notice them within a day (I kept a print off of 12 Months for about 5 years inside my pantry door. It just became an accepted part of the pantry, lol). I.e., any decorations I hang in my home will become dusty and cluttered in a short amt of time, so it is just better if I don't decorate at all:) I really like clear floors and clear countertops - I feel so happy when this is accomplished. I'm striving to keep our main living areas clutter-free, and I'd like to bring the rest of the house into order. But organization is not something that comes easily for me, and I get lost with "how do I even start this project?" when I set out to tackle a room. I think I get that same overwhelming feeling when I look at a scheduled 180 lesson math book + teacher's guide, along with 180 lessons of grammar/writing, history, science, you-name-it. I used boxed (BJU) for Math & LA for a few years, but I really was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff, the bite-sized step by step processes in each lesson (I wanted the big picture and a reason for learning it!), and the expectation that I could get it all done in 36 weeks of schooling.

[PachiSusan]

I find it uncomfortable to disagree with you on the bolded since 99% of what advice you've given me has been awesome...but I don't agree with the bolded.

 

I use a box from Seton. The books and materials have been used and researched for years and the lesson plans reflect that . We are never left alone to fly in the wind without support unless we CHOOSE to go it alone. They say from the beginning that everything in the box and everything in the lesson plan is for you to decide what will work best for your family, and to personalize it the way you see fit.

 

I've honestly never run into a lesson that just doesn't work, nor have I run into anything experiment/enrichment wise that took a special trip to the store past the materials list in the beginning of the year.

 

The rest of your post? Brilliant as always! :)

 

 

People have different definitions of "box" but MY definition of a box is when EVERYTHING is included. It's often delivered from a correspondence school. It's been carefully compiled to be COMPLETED in the number of hours that a child would spend ON TASK at a quality PS. The books COMPLEMENT each other and make a pleasing WHOLE, even if an individual book is just so-so. The materials are developmentally appropriate and doable in every sense of the word. Some correspondence schools will allow you to just purchase their curriculum without signing with the school.

 

A package is not a box. The materials have not always been properly field tested to WORK in the do-the-next-thing fashion. Mom is expected to supplement and skip and tweak, with little guidance of what's enough or important. There is often too much to do, too many "fun" things that require shopping, and lessons that just do not work.

 

 

No Regrets is a great example of a family that used boxed curricula. They used Calvert and then American School.

 

My oldest used American School for high school and I have nothing but good things to say about the experience.

 

Boxes have a bad rap in the homeschooling community and that is unfortunate. They are a great option for SOME families. Having school in a box, literally, that children keep in their room, and complete in the morning, allows many families to spend the afternoon unschooling, working, creating, performing, or otherwise pursuing a lifestyle that is not FOCUSED on being a homeschooling family.

 

[Hunter]

I find it uncomfortable to disagree with you on the bolded since 99% of what advice you've given me has been awesome...but I don't agree with the bolded.

 

I use a box from Seton. The books and materials have been used and researched for years and the lesson plans reflect that . We are never left alone to fly in the wind without support unless we CHOOSE to go it alone. They say from the beginning that everything in the box and everything in the lesson plan is for you to decide what will work best for your family, and to personalize it the way you see fit.

 

I've honestly never run into a lesson that just doesn't work, nor have I run into anything experiment/enrichment wise that took a special trip to the store past the materials list in the beginning of the year.

 

The rest of your post? Brilliant as always! :)

 

I think maybe I wasn't clear. You are using a box, not a package. The fact that you are using a box, and not a package, is why you are never having the problems some people have with packages. Some people receive a box of books, but not what YOU get. They are not getting the researched and field tested and very specific lesson plans that you are. Maybe I'm still not being clear about the difference. Forgive me. They are getting stuff, maybe even all written by the same publisher, but not a WHOLE.

[cavscout96]

.... And when I saw the overarching plan of TWTM, I knew that I could take that framework and adapt it to my needs.

 

I need a firm structure with plenty of space to bounce around in. Looking around my house, I can see that reflected. Our rooms are uncluttered. We have lots of floor space. We have things set up in nontraditional ways, but they work for how we use our space.

 

The idea of TWTM resonated with me because its walls are rigid, but its living space is wide open. I can make of it what I will.

 

 

This ^

[xixstar]

I've enjoyed this thread. Recognizing who I am, as I am not who I wish I was, as a parent and teacher is leading us forward in this round of homeschooling. With my oldest, I delved into philosophies and approaches and had quite an ideal going - and ideal that it a major stretch for me and turns out, too much to strive for. I constantly readdress the direction I'm heading because sometimes it really feels 'wrong' compared to this ideal in my head, but I keep focusing on what will get done are more important that some person I'm not.

 

Even though we haven't fully started, I know that building my own curriculum from scratch is not my strongest skill. Trusting that my children are learning through experiences and explorations that is primarily self-directed does not work with my need to have things checked off, a list to follow, something that reassures me progress is truly being made.

 

It often cracks me up how I'm going from unschooling fully to classical model. When I talk with friends that are still much more on the unschooling track and stating arguments I have made in the past (learning math from day-to-day experiences) I realize how uncomfortable it made me then and now to follow that path and I'm reassured that adding a formal program is far more in my favor now.

 

I have a house to swings from neat and tidy to horribly cluttered and messy, as my focus and attentions waxes and wanes. I think that really reflects the selections in programs and also giving myself options to be able to grab 1 of 3 different math projects/programs for that day or more than one language program. It's not because I feel one program is lacking or we need to cover more, it's because I know that my craft room sways from making clothing to craft projects. I know that I won't be able to march a single line, non-stop without mixing it all up here and there. And I also know, that while I still philosophically believe one method to be ideal and perfect-sounding, it's okay to stop striving for it when recognizing what I am capable of.

[8filltheheart]

 

 

I think maybe I wasn't clear. You are using a box, not a package. The fact that you are using a box, and not a package, is why you are never having the problems some people have with packages. Some people receive a box of books, but not what YOU get. They are not getting the researched and field tested and very specific lesson plans that you are. Maybe I'm still not being clear about the difference. Forgive me. They are getting stuff, maybe even all written by the same publisher, but not a WHOLE.

 

 

I understand your distinction. I order individual books from Amazon.....they arrive in a box but they are simply books. I have to develop the plans to accompany them and make them successful otherwise they are no more than printed pieces of bound paper. ;)

 

That is different than packaged "school in a box" arriving and just waiting for the teacher to open the TMs and implement the materials that arrived "complete."

[Hedgehogs4]

Two points I would like to add to the discussion and they are 1. the importance of vision, and 2. a comment about box curriculum and judging...

 

On vision, the first reaction I had to the quote that was posted by Hunter was that it is so important to take the time to formulate your own vision, both long-term and short-term, and Hunter hit it on the head when she talked about figuring out what you are like. Several years ago my husband and I actually wrote a vision statement for our family and education and I go back and re-read it a couple of times a year. I have also written short and long-term goals with the intention of revisiting and revising them. I do and I have. The bottom line is that you need to figure out not only what you are like and who you are and what works for you as a teacher, but also when you send your kids off into the world, will you have done what you knew to be necessary to shape then into the people that both they and you desired them to be. I do not say that we can force our kids to be what we want them to be, but what I mean is to help them become the best "them" that they can be.

 

On boxed curriculum, I think it a question of style, not on ability or quality. Boxed curricula are written to guide a parent who would otherwise not have a clue where to start or how to proceed or who has a tone of kids and just needs an open-and-go lesson plan, or who loves a roadmap and wants to know when to stop, or they work outside the home, or any number of reasons...There are great ones out there. There are the other parents, like myself, who cannot follow another person's set of guidelines without feeling like the walls are closing in. The thought actually makes me feel panicky, so for us it just would not be a fit. I have to piece it together myself or it will not get done. No judgement--just different.

[Runningmom80]

I'm so glad this thread is still going.

 

 

And thank you to the poster(s) who pointed out that TWTM is a good road map with room for adjustment. I decided to go back and re read it, and I feel a lot less overwhelmed. I think following TWTM outline, and adjusting grade levels as necessary is the way to go. I feel like I've had an epiphany, although it wasn't my own. ;)

[PachiSusan]

I see that now!! I did not see it last night. Have no idea why not!!! Excuse the ring!! LOL

 

 

 

 

I think maybe I wasn't clear. You are using a box, not a package. The fact that you are using a box, and not a package, is why you are never having the problems some people have with packages. Some people receive a box of books, but not what YOU get. They are not getting the researched and field tested and very specific lesson plans that you are. Maybe I'm still not being clear about the difference. Forgive me. They are getting stuff, maybe even all written by the same publisher, but not a WHOLE.

[stripe]

Saw this post on the Bravewriter blog about shopping for curriculum and it made me think of Hunter's point

http://blog.bravewriter.com/2013/05/29/tips-for-curriculum-hunting/

[PachiSusan]

Thank you stripe-- this is wonderful!

 

Saw this post on the Bravewriter blog about shopping for curriculum and it made me think of Hunter's point

http://blog.bravewriter.com/2013/05/29/tips-for-curriculum-hunting/

[LoveMyBeautifulGift]

Very interesting...the first thing that happened in our home after making the decision earlier this year to HS next year was a more thorough Spring cleaning than I've done in years. Our place was already pretty organized, but I went through the whole house with an eye towards flow and function for us-and how I wanted the space to work when we begin HS. The adage "a place for everything and everything in its place" could be used to describe our home now-I want a space that is "wipe and go", where we have easy access to materials that we know where to find. I want space to sprawl and move create in while we learn. I enjoy having a space that is well organized, but more importantly I love having a space that works for us.

 

I can see how that reflects in what I am drawn to now that I am delving into curriculum. I was drawn into TWTM and intend to keep a copy to refer to. I would love to have a curriculum that is all organized and ready to go. It's the "works for us" part that's keeping me looking and leaving me drawing from a variety of sources, though. I feel as though 8 yo is all over the place style wise-some things she picks up just by reading, some by hearing, some by doing-and skills wise...she is advanced in language arts, behind in math, etc. so I can't convince myself that 1curriculum will meet all her needs...but that was the point, right? I should consider my own preferences 1st....at least looking at it through this lens opens my eyes to why I am drawn to one style while feeling as though it just wouldn't work (at least not if we used it exactly as written) for us...

 

Sorry if that was a mess-tried to post 3 times and kept getting interrupted and lost train of thought lol...

[momto2Cs]

This whole thread just fascinates me! We're in the midst of overhauling both our home and our homeschooling, and I can totally see how the two fit together.

 

In our home... until recently, we shared it with my BIL, who had very definite ideas about how he wanted things to look, which all too often did not mesh with my desires for decoration. He liked things "fancy" and more ornate than I would choose. Now that he has moved out, my dh and I are repainting rooms in colors that suit the purpose of the room (warm colors in the living areas, cool colors in the bedrooms), clearing out a lot of clutter, tearing out the wtw carpeting, etc. I want clean, fresh, open, with good art, comfy furniture that can stand up to kids and dogs, lots of bookcases, sunshine, organized art supplies, and room for nature -- plants, a nature table, and so forth.

 

In our homeschooling, we are definitely eclectic -- literature focused, with some Waldorf thrown in, and I can see that this reflects and is reflected in the way we're redecorating. It also fits my vision for homeschooling these days, which was in part fueled by the Circe thread(s), and what works for my children, which is plenty of stories, art, and nature. Simple, not too much in any one day, fresh, and attractive/beautiful.

 

Very interesting, and now, back to reading all the other replies!

[Nscribe]

1. I do not entirely see what the appearance of my home has to do with my homeschooling.

...

2. I wonder whether it is always possible to school in a style that matches the Teacher's personality.

...

3. After all, the purpose of homeschooling is not for the mom to feel good, but for the child to learn.

 

 

I took the liberty of enumerating three points in Regentrude's post to clarify my response:

 

1. Amen. The appearance of my home has far more to do with a reflection of my family than anything. My husband has a voice in how our "home" looks. Thinking back, I married him to share our lives -- homeschool came later. We live here and that is what our home reflects. We entertain here, and it reflects that as well. We have a history of a life as a family, and that is what our home reflects. We have good intentions that we sometimes fail to meet, and that is what the bottle of Windex that has been on the counter for a year reflects. Our home is about our whole lives, homeschooling is a part of it. Anyone trying to guess how we homeschool based on looking at our home or a wish list for our home would be gravely misinformed.

 

2. I would never have chosen Saxon math for Dd. She chose it. It works for her. She is a creative, singing, dancing, acting, outgoing teen. She loves it. My personality only matters in the choice to the extent that I am willing to do what works.

 

3. Regentrude, you go girl! Truer words never spoken. I earned my degrees, it is my Dd's turn.

[LMD]

I think Hunter made a great point. I have almost always chosen things that I intuitively like - I 'go with my gut' a lot - because if I don't like it then I won't open it, and my kids are too young still to do it themselves!

 

Now, having said that, I still have to stretch myself. If I just rested on things that I like/find easy, then some things just would not ever happen in this house - and yep, my house probably quite accurately reflects those parts of my personality!

[stripe]

Hey, I just found another one, " Love Who You Are"

blog.bravewriter.com/2013/05/22/love-who-you-are

[LLMom]

I think this blog post really made a lot of sense. Kids learn a variety of ways so I think mom needs to like it...a lot. The Truth about Mom

[BlessedMom]

LLMom,

Thank you for sharing the link to that blog. I really enjoyed what she had to say!

[Mhorai]

Wow, great blog. Thanks!!