A Plea for Math Help

[jmccumbers]

I feel so completely lost right now. My daughter has struggled with math from the very beginning. I have done everything I know to do for her. Even to the point that I put her in public school for a year because I felt like I was failing her. She did no better there even with their 'best' math teacher. I've prayed. I've cried. I have restarted from the beginning. I've taken long breaks. I've done very short daily lessons. I've tried to pinpoint individual issues. I've tried program after program. We've worked on a topic (fractions) for months coming at it from all different ways hoping something would click. I just don't know what to do any more.

 

I don't want her to feel stupid or incapable, but she does. She is beautiful and compassionate and wants very much to please, but when she is doing math she gets defensive and blaming and feels like she is a failure. If you know our family personally, you know that math has always been a source of contention for me and her. I don't want it to hurt our relationship. At the same time, I can't just completely let it go because it's a necessary part of life. She is almost 13 years old. If I had not made her repeat a grade again (because of math) she would be going into 8th grade. However her math abilities are closer to 4th or 5th grade.

 

It's hard for me to be so open about this to the great big homeschooling community here, but I am desperate for some help. I feel like an utter failure at this. If I was able to remedy this by determination and hard work on my part, I would. But like I said, I've done everything I know to do. I feel empty and poured out. I love my baby girl passionately, and I want the best for her. Please share with me some great wisdom. :-)

[wapiti]

I would consider: (a) evaluation for a learning disability - dyscalculia - by an ed psych/neuropsych and ( b ) evaluation for developemental vision issues by a covd. There is no need for you both to blame yourselves when you've done everything you can :grouphug:

 

Do read the Learning Challenges board and search for threads about dyscalculia.

[Hunter]

If money is not tight, I recommend reading the Simply Charlotte Mason math pdf that is $10.95. I think it might make you feel better even if it doesn't offer any solutions. The author deemphasizes the current prioritization of math and explains why.

 

Many libraries carry How to Tutor. I really like the section on math.

 

Sometimes remediation means going back 3 or 4 steps, not one. I start at the BEGINNING with my tutoring students, rather than a step back from where they are struggling. I start off with a lot of math copywork and memorization of the 4 arithmetic processes before even thinking of moving on to long division never mind middle school math or--gasp!--high school math.

 

I think as a culture we are starting to label non-gifted as learning disabled. Sometimes if we just slow down at the BEGINNING a lot of middle school "learning disabilities" can be avoided. Just like many boys are later readers, many girls are later than gifted at math. When a child was taught a skill too early, they often need to be retaught right from the beginning. Phonics, handwriting, early arithemetic--they all sometimes need to be retaught entirely.