Free range kids, Daylight Savings, Dinner??

[jeninok]

Since we moved DS has made friends, lots of them. In good weather they play outside from about 3 until almost dark. Yesterday there kids at my house at 1030 and they all came and went all day. DS came home alone around 1230 for a while and had lunch, and then was gone again off and on for hours and hours.

 

Personally I am fine with this, he has had a rough go of it socially, so having kids knock at our door to play, inviting him over for sleepovers, and wanting me to feed them (which I only do once a week or so) is a really really good thing for my extrovert. It also means I am not dealing with a bored lonely kid who hasn't played hard enough.

 

I am having a tough time figuring out Dinner issues though. It was fine when it got dark at 630, but now it is nearly 8, and soon will be inching towards 930 or so! They boys are 11-13 so I don't have a problem with them outside that late, except that it means he comes in starving, surly, and tired. I also am enjoying DH's much more normal schedule, and like eating dinner at 6-7 like normal people! Once spring break is over the school kids will have to be home around 715 again, so that is fine for him to come in and eat, but come summer?????

 

 

So, do you have your kids come in for a while for dinner then let them go back out? Tell them to come back inside at a set time and that is it? We don't have any evening activities right now, and frankly I am counting his new friendships as an important activity since he is learning to really navigate the waters with a group of kids that are all friends by choice.

[magnificent_baby]

My kids aren't exactly free range and a bit younger than yours, but play outside similarly. The Mom's communicate frequently by calling and/or texting. They will text me "will you send my boys home for dinner?" or call and ask what time we are eating, and coordinate accordingly so the kids all go inside around the same time. I love that we are close enough to each other that it makes it work. We all still keep our eye out, but the kids go from house to house and we always know where they are.

 

I would suggest getting to know their friend's parents. Also, your kids are at the age where they can tell time and be responsible enough to come home at dinnertime. Have you tried walkie talkies?

[bobbeym]

Our rule was to come home at whatever time we set dinner for, which might vary day to day, and then they could go back outside after they ate.

[sassenach]

Get him a watch and tell him to be home for dinner (whatever time that may be). In the summer, I let mine go back out after dinner, but they have to come in when the street lights come on.

[JFSinIL]

I agree - set a dinner time and stick to it. He can easily tell his friends "Gotta go eat - be back in a bit". I am sure the other kids come and go, too, as they need to run in and eat.

[Mom in High Heels]

Europe hasn't changed time yet (Mar 31), but it's getting to be daylight longer and longer. In the summer, it's daylight until 11pm here and the kids will still be outside. It's crazy. As far as dinner, he comes in when it's dinner time and that's that. We might let him go out for a little while after dinner, but he's the kind of kid that gets nuts if he doesn't get enough sleep, so he does not stay out late. Most nights he has to be in NLT 7:30 and in bed NLT 8:30/9.

[jeninok]

Walkie Talkies are a great idea. He doesn't have a cell phone yet, and I really am putting that off as long as possible. I do know 2 of the moms, and need to meet the others. He will come home when I tell him to, I just haven't decided what to tell him yet :)

 

I am still learning to navigate these waters too and find the balance between the teen/tween need for friends, and them still being quite young and needing a lot of guidance. I had to sit down with DS and two other boys last week for a "chat" much to the moritification of DS. But I was tired of tears and DRAMA, and they are 11, not 18!!

 

The kid he spends the most time with is right next door, so I have spoken to his mom quite a bit. But a lot of times they are in the woods playing army, or running around the undeveloped part of the neighborhood so they aren't at anyone's house for me to call mom.

 

I also made 2 of the little brothers cry yesterday. The big kids were off playing and I was putting my feet up, when the dogs started going nuts. I went down and told the littles that the big kids weren't here and they were sad when I didn't know. Then about 10 minutes later the dogs were going nuts and I had to go out again and explain that they couldn't play in my yard without Tyler and their older brothers so they needed to go home or find the olders!

[Chris in VA]

Don't live in a neighborhood now, but did when boys were younger. Because of our desire to preserve family time, showing up for dinner was a priority. In our case, my boys were younger than yours, but I personally think a group of kids can get into trouble if left all day/evening on their own. Coming in for dinner provides a break in the action, so to speak, and can recalibrate judgement, iykwim !

[jeninok]

Don't live in a neighborhood now, but did when boys were younger. Because of our desire to preserve family time, showing up for dinner was a priority. In our case, my boys were younger than yours, but I personally think a group of kids can get into trouble if left all day/evening on their own. Coming in for dinner provides a break in the action, so to speak, and can recalibrate judgement, iykwim !

 

 

 

They do come and go throughout the day, and often show up at my house thirsty or wanting a snack or a bandaid, or to play xbox, which I never allow if it is nice out. They have also taken to sitting on our front porch and sunning, which is so funny and kind of adorable. I absolutely don't mind being the house they want to hang out at, especially when DS gets older. I have been making sure to keep popcorn and apples and Pb&J on hand, but also not to feed them too close to dinner time. It is also a large reason why we bought this house, DS room is kind of its own floor but not at all separate from the house, it gives the illusion of privacy and is big enough for a bed, loveseat and papasan chair.

[Truscifi]

We don't live in an area where this is an issue, but when I was a kid the rule during summer was to come in at set times for lunch, dinner, and to get ready for bed. Otherwise we ran around outside. I think I would get my kid a walkie talkie nowadays though.

[4kidlets4me]

I call them in for dinner and then they can go back out again.

[jeninok]

I have been also been telling DS that we ARE doing minimum school during the summer, he is going to give me an hour and half or so each day to do writing and math, and we also won't be done with science until about mid June. I asked the two he plays with most their opinion and they think that an open or closed sign on the door is a fantastic idea.

 

I had originally thought morning, but once it gets brutally hot, mornings and evenings are the only time to really play, so I am thinking of 12-3 he needs to come in and eat cool off, apply sunscreen and do a little bit of studying with me.

 

I might also end up getting one of those cooler jug things to put outside so the kids drink enough water.

[happypamama]

We don't have a lot of kids around our neighborhood, and those that are in it are at a sitter's house during the day, mostly, but yes, during the summer, I do make my kids come in for the middle part of the day. We do school year-round, so during the summer, I might let them go out for a bit in the morning, but not too long, or everyone's too tired to do schoolwork. Mostly, they head out in the late afternoon, come in for a bit when I call them for dinner, and go back out after dinner. If they had a reason to be out of calling range of the house, I'd probably suggest they take the walkie-talkies.

[Laura Corin]

In China when this was an issue, I used to yell for them to come back in for supper then send them back out again.

 

Laura

[NoseInABook]

We can't do this with my kids right now because they are too young. When I was a kid, we came in when my mom whistled for dinner and we could go out after until it was dark. I'd love to be able to do that with my kids!

[justasque]

When I was young, every family had a bell, each with a different sound, and woe betide the kid who didn't run home when his bell rang. With my own kiddos, we started with walkie-talkies. Now, though we use phones. A phone has a wider range than a walkie-talkie, and is smaller and thus easier to carry. Texting also gives you the ability to communicate privately with your child, and vice versa. If they find themselves in a difficult situation, they can ask you to call them home, for example, to give them an easy way to get out of it, or text for advice, without everyone else hearing them. Not rushing you into everything, and of course there are financial considerations, but wanted to mention the up side of cell phones for teens.

[KungFuPanda]

I'm a fan of the bell or whistle. Just call them in at dinnertime and set them free afterwards. On my street, the kids congregate at the cul-de-sac and we can see and yell for them. My oldest is 16, so I don't make her come back from the neighbor's house for dinner. She usually comes on her own before her friend's family eats. They TRY to feed her, but she's a little shy and would rather come home than cope with a large family dinner. (Her friend has 4 siblings)

[Koerarmoca]

I would echo the suggestion of a specific time needed to be home for dinner, then going back out afterwards if he wants to.

[Joyofsixreboot]

They come home at appointed time, eat and leave.

[lea_lpz]

I would get him a watch and ask him to come in for dinner and let him go back out to play after.

 

My children play outside until about 7 right now which is fine because we eat at 7:30 (when dad gets home). In summer, it is too hot between 10-4 to be out so my children play outdoors from around 4 pm (if we have swim lessons 5:30) until it gets dark at 9, but we have them come in to eat at about 7:30, then they can play some more if the want. If all the parents are outside hanging out, too they will play on a warm night late into the evening :). Love those summer nights.

[lea_lpz]

I had originally thought morning, but once it gets brutally hot, mornings and evenings are the only time to really play, so I am thinking of 12-3 he needs to come in and eat cool off, apply sunscreen and do a little bit of studying with me.

 

I've been toying with this idea too:). I am considering joining a stroller fitness group (my kids will be on scooters or playing in the park) mornings from 9-10 and then coming home, doing school somewhere between say 10:30-4, doing swim lessons at 4:30, and then they can play for the evening outside with neighborhood kids until dark (coming in for dinner). Maybe an hour and a half before lunch, an hour lunch, an hour nap, another hour and half after, snack, get ready for swim lessons M-Th and Fridays free (no school, swim lessons, no exercise class).

[Tap]

we just called the kids in wnn it was it was time to eat and they headed back out when they were done.

[jeninok]

Thanks for all the input!

 

I usually can't just use my voice, we are on an acre, with the closest house another 1/4 to 1/2 acre away on each side, although the ones across the street are easily visible :) There are also fairly thick strands of cedar and oak trees running between most of the properties. There are only 3 really 3 streets with an outer ring connecting it all together, two of the middle streets are only half developed.

 

There is also only one entrance into the neighborhood, and gravel roads. This all adds up to very little traffic, slow drivers, and lots of place for kids to be kids, 4 houses down, or around the corner is a whole lot further than it was in our old city neighborhood on 1/8 acre lots!

 

We seriously have a Real Roadrunner living in our yard, an entire flock of Goldfinches at the feeder every morning, and crows the size of small dogs! (maybe ravens)

 

We will probably get him a non smartphone this summer, I need to look into the parental controls available on our plan. He is turning 12, so I think it is a good age.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I'd just tell him to be home at X time for supper (though that may be pushed back a tad if necessary).

To me, eating as a family trumps just about anything else. He can be "free range" before and after supper.

We used walkie talkies when my big kids were younger.

I got "business cards" for our family from vistaprint. Cheap and I can just say, "give this to your friend to give his mom."

If any kid comes to my house, I require the child to give the parent the card before they come inside or out back (unless I already have mom in my phone).

[Hannah]

When we were kids we had to be home for dinner at 6pm sharp. We had meals at the same time every day (and dad still does). If there was any reason to come home at another time he would blow a bugle!! The whole neighbourhood knew that this was our call.

There aren't many kids in our neighborhood, so if dd needs to come home I just call the other parents to send her.

[Critterfixer]

I use a great big bell hanging on the front porch to summon my boys from the woods or the creek. But I also will need to do something different once they are allowed to go up the road on the bikes. It's going to have to be walkie-talkies because where I live even my cell phone won't call out, and I only can text out if I stand on my front porch and hold my mouth right. :laugh:

So glad someone mentioned those, I wouldn't have thought of that. Besides, walkie-talkies are just cool.

[jeninok]

We got some walkie talkies at Wallyworld last night.

 

Now I need a fun handle!

[somo_chickenlady]

Get him a watch and tell him to be home for dinner (whatever time that may be). In the summer, I let mine go back out after dinner, but they have to come in when the street lights come on.

 

 

I agree. This is what we tell DS and it is also what I had to do when I was younger.

[Ellie]

I don't see any reason not to continue serving dinner at the same time you normally do, and the dc going back out to play.