DD giving me a hard time about VT...help!

[Twinmom]

My DD is about 1/3 of the way through her vision therapy and it's going great. She does a fantastic job with the therapist, is seeing big gains in speed and accuracy, is handling the long drives and heavy schedule well (3x a week, about 3 hours round trip drive)...basically it's been a good experience overall.

 

So, what's the trouble? She's refusing to read to me after she finishes her PATH...not just refusing, but having a real hissy fit, being ugly and making me want to just cry. The PATH program requires that she read for 30 minutes right afterwards...something about solidifying what she's learned, but I don't totally understand it. In any case, she's got to do it or the effectiveness is reduced. So, we are supposed to sit in a private place in the therapy room (sans all audience) and read books of her choice and skill level. It's not going well. :toetap05: The ability is there, but the pressure of the moment appears to be a problem and she's taking it out on me. She'll read to me at home just fine (when it's her choice) but something about doing it on cue is freaking her out. We don't have the option with this program of waiting until she "feels like it," so I can't wait till bedtime or whatever to do it. She needs to do it right after PATH.

 

So, I could use some advice on how to handle this. The therapist says it must be done or we should wait to do PATH. Waiting is not an option for us, as we've flown my mom up from TX at some expense for childcare for my boys so we can finish this summer. We'd be throwing money away, money we don't have. We have permission to cut it down to 15 minutes, but she's even digging in her heels at that. We've tried to talk through her feelings on the issue and all seems well...until the next reading session. We've tried easier books. We've tried silent reading (though I require a narration when she's done to ensure she's actually read...it's to that point!! :banghead:)

 

I'm out of thoughts and hope you all have some to share! Obviously, this has some basis in her confidence level as well as being tired after therapy, but it does seem to be more about compliance than anything else. Trouble is, you can't just MAKE someone read...all you can do is give consequences for refusal, and so far that's not worked. I cannot continue to deal with the level of stress I end up with after our battles...I'll have a nervous breakdown. :glare: Nearly had one this year with her in school, but that's another story.

 

Thanks for listening to my vent. She actually is a sweet girl, but this is ridiculous. Going to try to take a :chillpill: now...

[Laurie4b]

My sympathy and commiseration.

 

Could dh take her? (Sometimes switching up helps.) Or an aunt? Could grandma? Could you hire a sitter to go with you? (I realize this would totally increase an already hefty price. Just brainstorming.)

 

Have you tried asking the therapist to be the heavy instead of you? For instance, the therapist tells dd that she expects her to complete 15 minutes of reading with mother after therapy and she will check and see if there have been any problems. You could arrange a reward to come from the therapist (you could actually buy it) that dd would like. I would try to leverage the good relationship with the therapist to cover this since it's her idea. My guess is that if the therapist took charge of it (even with you doing it) that it might make all the difference.

 

Something that has helped with my resistant son when we have to do VT exercises at home is that I told him how much it cost for 2 months (because that got over $1000 and thus sounds impressive) and told him that we were willing to make that much of a sacrifice for him, but that I expected him to give us that many $$ of cooperation. I think he was touched that he was worth so much and he did agree. I pull that out of the pocket when he becomes resistant, and it is at least moderately effective.

 

FWIW, we don't have to do reading after vision therapy to "solidify gains."

[Twinmom]

Thanks, Laurie. All are good ideas. We are switching up the drivers between me, my mom and DH, though she prefers me. I hadn't thought about using the therapist as the heavy (she doesn't strike me that way! ;)) but I could see how that would work. Rewards have come in the form of getting to go to the store and spend some of her cash after tx, getting to eat out, etc. I'm trying something slightly new along those lines tomorrow...

 

I've tried the money thing...that definitely didn't work with her. She's just not seeing that as important...maybe it's a girl thing. I have threatened to stop therapy if she won't cooperate due to the expense and just let her deal with her vision problem on her own...not my finest moment! :o Muddling through is the best I know how to do at the moment!

 

FYI, the PATH program is a specific program that requires the reading...it's some sort of neurological programming deal that is, frankly, beyond my expertise. None of the visual motor or visual perceptive stuff requires reading...just the PATH and of course, that's the part of therapy she's doing now... :glare:

 

Hopefully, tomorrow will go better!

[Rod Everson]

FYI, the PATH program is a specific program that requires the reading...it's some sort of neurological programming deal that is, frankly, beyond my expertise. None of the visual motor or visual perceptive stuff requires reading...just the PATH and of course, that's the part of therapy she's doing now...

 

 

Hi,

 

I would ask them the purpose of PATH. I'm not familiar with it, but it sounds like it's aimed more at reading than at vision skills. If this is the case, I would consider skipping the PATH if they won't let you count the time reading at home, as it would appear that you're just wasting money to continue it (according to them, as it's not effective without the 30 minutes of immediate follow-on reading.)

 

In other words, tell them it's not working and please concentrate on the vision skills. Then work on the reading skills on your own, or hire a good tutor. The protocol in my reading practice is to let the vision therapists get the visual efficiency and visual perception skills in place and then let me handle the reading (primarily phonics instruction) independently. This works fine. So find out if PATH is primarily a reading program and consider skipping it altogether if that's the case, especially if it's taking time away from their working on the visual skills.

 

Just so you know, vision therapy departments are well-advised to integrate some reading instruction (phonics) into their practices. Otherwise kids return to school still unable to make sense of print and teachers then tend to dismiss the effectiveness of vision therapy (even though they can now see it clearly and without discomfort and therefore are finally teachable.) However, as long as you are fully aware that your daughter still needs to learn a sufficient amount of phonics to enable her to read well, you will likely give vision therapy the credit due it.

 

The link below will take you to a description of the Advanced Code Workbook that I use with my clients. If anyone contemplates using it, I recommend downloading the instructions first, as they describe almost completely how I use the workbook in sessions. (There's a free PDF of the instructions on that page of the site.) That will give you some idea as to what you would be getting into.

 

Rod Everson

OnTrack Reading

[Twinmom]

Thanks for the info, Rod! I went back and read over your past posts on VT just out of curiosity, and learned a lot from those as well. I appreciate your input!

[kiki]

What part of the PATH program are you using, motion or reading? We are using the PATH motion at home. One thing that we have done is implement a chip system.

 

My ds can earn 3 chips for the PATH program, one for attitude, one for program completion, and one for reading afterward. He is also doing IM so he can earn 2 chips there. He can "buy" rewards with the chips, 1 chip= mountain biking, 4 chips=going to the driving range, 35 chips=going to a MN Twins game, etc... We have found if he has a specific goal and can figure out how many chips he needs therapies go much better.

 

Also in the motion PATH, there is a chart that shows where my son started, where he is now, and where he needs to be. He finds this very motivating.

 

HTH,

Kirstin

[kiki]

We also use "power pellets" when ds is tired. A couple of Skittles goes a long way.

 

Kirstin

[EKS]

Neither of my kids had to do this for VT. When we did have issues doing any of the homework exercises, out therapist was very responsive about changing the homework.

 

When my older boy gave me trouble about doing therapy things, this is what I would tell him:

 

You have trouble with [whatever is being treated by the therapy]. This [whatever it is] is going to help you. I know it is not fun and you don't like it. I don't particularly like it either, especially when you act like this. However, we are spending *a lot* of money and devoting *a lot* of time to taking care of this problem. I'm sorry you don't like it, but it must be done.

 

Then I would take away privilages or offer rewards as necessary. As you can see, I generally tell it like it is with my kids, particularly the older one. I would only do this with a child who is very aware that he/she has a problem. My son knew he was vastly behind other kids in reading and wanted desperately to catch up.

[Laurie4b]

When my older boy gave me trouble about doing therapy things, this is what I would tell him:

 

You have trouble with [whatever is being treated by the therapy]. This [whatever it is] is going to help you. I know it is not fun and you don't like it. I don't particularly like it either, especially when you act like this. However, we are spending *a lot* of money and devoting *a lot* of time to taking care of this problem. I'm sorry you don't like it, but it must be done.

 

.

 

Hey! We have the same tape recording! ;)

[NCW]

You've had a lot of great suggestions, and I'm going to add one more.

 

Vision therapy is very stressful, because they're working to change how the brain processes visual information and/or to strengthen the eye muscles.

 

With such a long drive, your child has been sitting still, then doing a stressful thing, then supposed to read (probably not their favorite activity, or else you wouldn't be there) then sit in the car again.

 

If you can, try to squeeze in some heavy work, or gross motor movement. We have a long drive to VT as well. We try to run up and down the sidewalk, play catch in their yard, or I take squeezy balls, etc...something that works their muscles to help reduce the stress. Perhaps she could chew gum while she reads to you. Some VTs don't want them to chew gum during therapy, as heavy mouth work helps bring the eyes together to focus near.

 

Anyway, it's worth a try. She could be just needing some kind of other input to get through all that's expected of her.

 

hths,

NCW

[Twinmom]

So I can answer you all at once...here's my first try at multi-quoting! :D

 

What part of the PATH program are you using, motion or reading?

 

HTH,

Kirstin

 

We are doing both at once, in the therapist's office. She is doing double sessions, one of the PATH and one of visual perception exercises. We travel far to VT, so we do double sessions 3x a week. Until now, she's seemed just fine with this. Now, I'm questioning her stress level.

 

Oh, and I love your chips idea! Going to try that.

 

Neither of my kids had to do this for VT. When we did have issues doing any of the homework exercises, out therapist was very responsive about changing the homework.

 

When my older boy gave me trouble about doing therapy things, this is what I would tell him:

 

You have trouble with [whatever is being treated by the therapy]. This [whatever it is] is going to help you. I know it is not fun and you don't like it. I don't particularly like it either, especially when you act like this. However, we are spending *a lot* of money and devoting *a lot* of time to taking care of this problem. I'm sorry you don't like it, but it must be done.

 

Your script sounds like my script, too...but DD isn't as responsive to it as I'd like...she has other issues going on. Another long story...;) I'm still trying the same script, though, and using the threat of removal of some rewards I'd been offering her afterwards to motivate her (like trips to the store or out to eat on the way home, etc.).

 

Our VT was great this week...I told her about all the problems last week, and this week she showed up with notes from a phone call to the creator of PATH with suggestions on how to make it easier for DD. She also did the reading afterwards with her instead of me...a nice break. Apparently, this is a common problem for the first month, then it gets better. Hope for me! :D

 

Vision therapy is very stressful, because they're working to change how the brain processes visual information and/or to strengthen the eye muscles.

 

With such a long drive, your child has been sitting still, then doing a stressful thing, then supposed to read (probably not their favorite activity, or else you wouldn't be there) then sit in the car again.

 

If you can, try to squeeze in some heavy work, or gross motor movement. We have a long drive to VT as well. We try to run up and down the sidewalk, play catch in their yard, or I take squeezy balls, etc...something that works their muscles to help reduce the stress. Perhaps she could chew gum while she reads to you. Some VTs don't want them to chew gum during therapy, as heavy mouth work helps bring the eyes together to focus near.

 

Anyway, it's worth a try. She could be just needing some kind of other input to get through all that's expected of her.

 

hths,

NCW

 

You are absolutely, positively right...and I'd not even thought about it that way! I knew she was stressed but hadn't thought about the need for some gross motor activities. I think we can do that without a problem...there's a trampoline right in the office, balls to toss, etc. Great idea!

 

Thanks to everyone for the great input!