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Working ahead: accommodation, cheating, or ??


SKL
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This is about the dd who has trouble following along in class (1st grade). She doesn't listen well and has vision issues that make it hard for her to complete classwork. So often she has to miss recess time, go over papers multiple times, and take low scores (Ds/Fs), exasperating the teacher and getting discouraged herself - and not learning as well as she should.

 

A while back I started going over her math in advance at home, which helped a lot, but then I saw things going way south in grammar and reading. I downloaded the grammar, spelling, and reading workbooks (available on the school website) and started going over these pages in advance. Things started looking up.

 

Last week my dd mentioned that a classmate had accused her of cheating when she mentioned she'd done the paper at home. A few days later in an email exchange, the teacher mentioned that my kid was doing much better and seeming more confident. She then asked me to stop going over the papers in advance. She said "she mentions in class that she's done this before" and couldn't I just make up other examples to go over instead. However, this would defeat the purpose of getting my kid familiar enough to follow the specific instructions for each worksheet.

 

To me, I'm providing an accommodation for a kid with learning barriers so she can learn the material, perform in class, gain confidence, and give her teacher some relief. It's not like we're memorizing a stolen copy of the SAT, right? I fail to see the problem here.

 

Do any of you work ahead in the curriculum to shore up these kinds of weaknesses? What does your child's teacher think of this?

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How is that cheating? It is not a test.

When I was a student in Taiwan, our teachers actually emphasis it. We were always asked to do 2 "view", a preview before the class so you know what you don't understand and you can ask in the class, and a review after the school to make sure you do understand everything.

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A while back I started going over her math in advance at home, which helped a lot, but then I saw things going way south in grammar and reading. I downloaded the grammar, spelling, and reading workbooks (available on the school website) and started going over these pages in advance. Things started looking up.

 

Last week my dd mentioned that a classmate had accused her of cheating when she mentioned she'd done the paper at home. A few days later in an email exchange, the teacher mentioned that my kid was doing much better and seeming more confident. She then asked me to stop going over the papers in advance. She said "she mentions in class that she's done this before" and couldn't I just make up other examples to go over instead. However, this would defeat the purpose of getting my kid familiar enough to follow the specific instructions for each worksheet.

 

With my kids, I only reviewed the school's science texts which I thought were pretty good but difficult to understand. For all other subjects, I used different resources -- especially with my youngest -- mainly because I felt other resources were better.

 

Is your daughter having trouble with understanding the instructions or with the material? I agree with the suggestion to use a different resource to teach the same concepts. That way, when you see her work from class, you'll know what she's mastering. I agree with Heigh Ho that it sounds like she might be recalling. IMO, it's not technically cheating, but if your daughter were to take a test, you would want her to be able to follow instructions and do well on the material by herself.

 

If your daughter is having trouble with following the instructions, you could try limiting your reviews to discussing the instructions.

 

You might also want to de-emphasize grades -- grades are not who we are -- and praise her for the times she works on self-control, following instructions, making an effort and learning from her mistakes. To get her thinking about those skills on a daily basis, ask her if she can recall any examples of them from her school day.

 

Good luck. I think your daughter is just a bit young yet for academics. I noticed that my kids often made big leaps in improvement after their summers.

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In my personal opinion, if they consider this cheating they should not make the workbooks available on their website; the way I understand this situation is that any student has the option to work ahead. To repeatedly lose recess because your daughter needs to review the class material is also less than ideal.

 

Frankly, if your daughter has problems following the class due to vision/cognitive issue than either there need to be accommodations of some kind. If the school refuses to accommodate because they are a private school and don't have to, you may need to consider if this is the best placement for your daughter (I know there many components to this question and this is just one of them).

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I think going over the instructions for the papers is fine, but I have to say that I agree with the teacher about making up similar examples for your daughter to do with you rather than having her do the exact same worksheet she will be doing in class.

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I think going over the instructions for the papers is fine, but I have to say that I agree with the teacher about making up similar examples for your daughter to do with you rather than having her do the exact same worksheet she will be doing in class.

:iagree:

 

It is great that your dd feels more confident, but there is a big difference from introducing the concept than letting her do the actual worksheets ahead of time. I would see no problem if these were homework assignments, but because these are essentially the teachers lesson plans I'd find either a similar workbook or re-write the lessons to give your dd experience in the type of work she will be doing next in class (just not the actual word for word lessons)..

 

It sounds like what you are doing is working, so I'd just tweak it a little to not step on the teachers toes.

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It would be great if she were being accommodated in class, but for the most part she is not. I don't consider being kept in from recess an accommodation. And if she isn't being accommodated in class, I don't see why it's wrong for me to do so at home.

 

Not sure why going over something 1x at home and then 1x at school is worse than going over each worksheet up to 4x with the teacher at school. And it's clear the teacher does not appreciate doing this, by her many notes home "we went over this x times . . . ." I also think hearing the material from a different person is helpful, as she's not getting it from her teacher. At this point we are 2/3 through the school year and I think the teacher has had more than enough feedback on her results with my kid.

 

To be a little more clear, what I do is have my dd read the instructions herself and go over them as often as necessary to make sure she understands what she is supposed to do. I don't think she is asked to read the instructions in class, and relying on just listening isn't working for her. We go through the worksheets and I keep having her refer back to what the instructions told her to do (i.e., circle this kind of adjective and underline that kind). Separately, we may do lots of other examples if the skill being covered is weak.

 

It is true that all parents have access to this material, and it's quite possible that others are doing the same as I am.

 

I did tell my dd to not mention whether she has done something at home or not, as it seems to rankle some people. I do not believe it is wrong to do it, though.

 

Oh, and to answer some folks' question/comment, she is being evaluated to better identify her learning issues and decide on a course of action, but I don't want her bombing her work in the mean time.

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:iagree:

 

It is great that your dd feels more confident, but there is a big difference from introducing the concept than letting her do the actual worksheets ahead of time. I would see no problem if these were homework assignments, but because these are essentially the teachers lesson plans I'd find either a similar workbook or re-write the lessons to give your dd experience in the type of work she will be doing next in class (just not the actual word for word lessons).

 

It sounds like what you are doing is working, so I'd just tweak it a little to not step on the teachers toes.

 

 

The bolded would take time that I don't have.

 

I just think the 1st grade is a little early to be worrying about my kid having one advantage mixed in with her many disadvantages. :/ It would be different if I were doing this to push her to the top of the class. I'm just trying to help her stay with the class. Honestly, I thought the teacher would be glad to no longer have to go over and over and over the material with my kid. :/ Can't seem to win over here.

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At this point we are 2/3 through the school year and I think the teacher has had more then enough feedback on her results with my kid.

 

 

Reading over my post, I realize that the fact is, I have lost confidence in this teacher and just want my kid to get through 1st grade and be ready for 2nd. I'm essentially homeschooling the important stuff since her teacher can't teach her.

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I did tell my dd to not mention whether she has done something at home or not, as it seems to rankle some people. I do not believe it is wrong to do it, though.

 

If you feel it's better to go over the worksheets beforehand, then do this! LOL. Just tell your daughter not to mention what you're doing at home. I've had to do that myself a few times but in slightly different circumstances.

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I say, do it, tell her not to talk about it, move on.

The key is that she is learning the material. Can she apply it herself?

If she were memorizing answers, I would have another take on it.

Also, don't do this for tests.

But for in class worksheets? As long as this does not make her into a bored behavior problem, I see no issues with it.

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Really? The child has been failing all year, missing recess to redo worksheets, having to redo them multiple times and just doesn't get it, then you find something that works and the teacher wants you to stop?

 

I realize that the fact is, I have lost confidence in this teacher and just want my kid to get through 1st grade and be ready for 2nd. I'm essentially homeschooling the important stuff since her teacher can't teach her.

 

I would keep doing what works.

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I would want to do whatever possible within my powers to help my struggling child, no matter what the teacher says. Because she is after all your child and it is you who have your child's best interests at heart. It is kind of sad that your daughter misses recess because it is the main time for them to socialize and take a break and it is wonderful that you are willing to put in extra work to bring her up to speed (which should have been the teacher's job in the first place!). You are on the right track. I recommend that you ignore the teacher, tell your daughter to not mention that she is familiar with the material and move on.

Many of us afterschool, it is the same concept of getting ahead in certain subjects (maybe using a different curriculum, but so what).

I hope that they are able to evaluate what her needs are and come up with a better plan for her.

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Given that the information is out there for any parent to review, I can't see a problem with it as long as your dd is learning the material, rather than memorizing it.

 

Your poor kiddo can't seem to get ahead with her teacher this year. Do you think it's possible they are looking for excuses to require that you retain her and if she if is passing her work that messes with their plans? I can't think of any other reason why this teacher would seem to want her to fail.

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Do you think it's possible they are looking for excuses to require that you retain her and if she if is passing her work that messes with their plans? I can't think of any other reason why this teacher would seem to want her to fail.

 

The thought has crossed my mind more than once! I keep trying to convince myself that that's a paranoid thought.

 

My dd's grades inched up last week, but - BUT! She got a D on her Friday memory verse. She had practiced the verse and she's good at this - for Q3, she had all 100%s on memory going into Friday! She has never received such a low grade on memory work before. I can't help but wonder if this is her teacher balancing out the horror of my kid getting some As on her seatwork. :/ Please tell me I'm crazy.

 

I'm having a hard time trusting this lady.

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Then you need to be very, very nice to her. Seriously nice. Butter her up. And don't talk with her about your daughter anymore if you can help it. If she has taken a dislike to your daughter or you, that will hurt your daughter, especially at this sensitive age. Time for some serious diplomatic overtures. You don't have to do this forever, just for a few more months so that you can move on.

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When I taught ps I would sometimes suggest that parents do this very thing. There were some kids would just needed more exposure to the material. If a parent was willing to preview the lessons at home I was thrilled and wouldn't have dreamed of stopping them.

 

The daily lessons in class are intended to teach -- not to test. She isn't cheating; she's studying at home with a parent. This is ideal and in no way cheating. If previewing is helpful and the school has provided access to the curricula, go for it regardless of what the teacher says.

 

You should draw the line at previewing any tests unless given specific permission to do so (i.e. list of spelling words, math facts, memory work, etc)

 

My hat is off to you for studying at home with your daughter. The public schools need more parents like you!

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You are the parent. They have no place whatsoever to tell you what you can and can't teach your child. Your child was not successful the way the teacher was doing it, and your child was the one being penalized. Now you are doing a better job than the teacher was, and she's threatened. There is no way in he77 I would stop doing this with my kid at home if it helped. I would clarify that point with the teacher.

 

I would also clarify that my child is NEVER to miss recess again for unfinished work that she was working diligently on, PERIOD, EVER. Unfinished work should be sent home to be done with me. If teacher has an issue with this, I would immediately begin running it up the food chain, and even go as far as getting an IEP if necessary. There might also be some local newspapers receiving letters and phone calls about it. IMO it is child abuse to take recess away, for unfinished work, from a kid who was working hard and doing their best, and I would treat it as such.

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I thought this was a private or parochial school? If so, you don't want them thinking that this is a special needs child who has an IEP. That would probably work against her. No, it needs to be easy to have her there, and the parent needs to get along with the teacher because in a small school environment the teachers have to like you or your child is messed up.

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Given that the information is out there for any parent to review, I can't see a problem with it as long as your dd is learning the material, rather than memorizing it.

 

Your poor kiddo can't seem to get ahead with her teacher this year. Do you think it's possible they are looking for excuses to require that you retain her and if she if is passing her work that messes with their plans? I can't think of any other reason why this teacher would seem to want her to fail.

 

 

This might be the case, especially since IIRC, the OP pushed pretty hard to get her in the class even though she didn't meet the age cut-off.

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Private school ? Where the parent is actually a paying customer ? :svengo: Oh my good gravy - I would be even less inclined to play along nicely and let a teacher boss me around. Perhaps a quid pro quo ? Teacher, I will stop preparing my kid in advance for your class when you stop taking away her recess even though she's trying her best, and instead of giving her carppy grades (what is EVER the point of that in first grade !?), actually help her. Deal ? Otherwise, I keep right on preparing her for success myself, because someone in this picture needs to do it.

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The thought has crossed my mind more than once! I keep trying to convince myself that that's a paranoid thought.

 

My dd's grades inched up last week, but - BUT! She got a D on her Friday memory verse. She had practiced the verse and she's good at this - for Q3, she had all 100%s on memory going into Friday! She has never received such a low grade on memory work before. I can't help but wonder if this is her teacher balancing out the horror of my kid getting some As on her seatwork. :/ Please tell me I'm crazy.

 

I'm having a hard time trusting this lady.

 

 

 

Based on all of your posts over the course of the school year, I don't think you are paranoid and I think you have very good reason not to trust this teacher.

 

Do what you have to do to help your dd succeed in school.

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Um, in my experience when you don't trust someone anymore, it is foolish to keep trying. What you are doing is working and enabling her to have recess. I missed recess myself because I could not keep up with students in my class who were basically home schooled, so I am sympathetic to you allowing her to keep up. Children develop sooo differently and are so varied at these ages that I do not think there is much reason to take the teacher's advice if what you are doing is working.

 

BTW, the whole, she's doing better now stop what you are doing at home is a game my oldest's 2nd grade teacher played with me to the great detriment of her education. I took the teacher's advice, stopped giving her extra instruction at home, and she fell farther behind than ever. By the end of fourth grade home schooling was the only option we had left. I SOOO wish I had listened to my instincts instead of someone who really was not invested in dd's future.

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Just had to update. Today I got my kid's papers for the week. Miss A got a 100% on the math review. Teacher wrote a paragraph at the bottom of the last page. (This was a page with a challenging multi-step word problem.) Something to this effect:

 

"Miss A flew through this question, but when I asked her how she did it, she could not explain it to me. I kept asking and finally she said she had done it at home last night."

 

OK. First of all, she actually impressed me the night we went over this paper because she truly did get this answer. She read the word problem and I kept her focused on what it was saying. She used her logic to conclude the answer. The paper suggested drawing a picture to help oneself, but she did not even need to do that when she went over it with me the first (and only) time. Maybe she actually understood the concept, ya think?

 

Secondly, can somebody please give me a break! She is 6 years old, and currently being evaluated by the speech/language therapist at school, so how articulate do you expect her to be about how she solved a word problem about relative heights of three people? Besides, she's intimidated by this teacher and doesn't feel that comfortable talking to her. She mostly just says "yes, OK, uh-huh, I was wrong."

 

Thirdly, it goes back to what the OP was about. I went over that paper with her ONCE. And it was late at night when she was tired, so we didn't spend a lot of time on it. If she aced it the next day, maybe, just maybe, that means she is learning something at home with me, which she isn't doing so well with the teacher. *IF* this is a problem, where does the problem lie? Don't they think I would LOVE to be able to send her to school to learn this stuff? It's not happening.

 

I'm getting madder and madder. This teacher seems to be ATTACKING my 6yo kid for knowing her stinkin' math! WTH? Is she going to be scared now to ace the next paper? Who ever heard of a teacher interrogating a 6yo about her math performance? Again, this is not a spelling bee or olympic trial, this is a stupid 1st grade worksheet. Not even a test. Does this lady have an ego problem or what?

 

Her accusatory paragraph makes me wonder what will be next. Because I am NOT going to stop working with my kid at home. She cannot get Singapore Math any other way because so much depends on understanding what is asked. So is the teacher going to refer me for a conference with the principal the next time my kid gets an A? Bring it on.

 

Someone tell me what planet I'm on right now.

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I am still trying to wrap my head around your school. :) We must live in a super relaxed town. We don't have tests, grades and no 6 year old yet understands what cheating on tests looks like :) . This isn't SATs. She is six, so the goal is to help her understand concepts. I would absolutely keep teaching at home to make sure she is keeping up. Use different examples, so she sees the variety, but come on, the teacher should be happy you are providing help at home.

What are the parents like at school? Just curious :)

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What are the parents like at school? Just curious :)

 

 

Well, I don't know them intimately, but I'm pretty sure the other parents are generally involved with their kids' education. It's a pretty high-standards parochial school. I have heard some parents talk about what they do and don't work on with their kids, and it seems that when a kid doesn't find something easy, the parents do something at home to help. Quite a few of the parents are involved as volunteers or employees of the school and/or the affiliated Sunday School / church programs.

 

The other day I was chatting with a mom of a 1st grader at another parochial school. I mentioned that my younger dd (also 1st grade) does not need any help from me with school. The mom seemed shocked. So I guess around here, in parochial school at least, the standard is that you work with your 1st grader at home.

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The teacher did not ask you to stop working at home with your child. She asked you to stop giving her the answers to the next day's work. There is a big difference.

 

 

 

Well, I don't know them intimately, but I'm pretty sure the other parents are generally involved with their kids' education. It's a pretty high-standards parochial school. I have heard some parents talk about what they do and don't work on with their kids, and it seems that when a kid doesn't find something easy, the parents do something at home to help. Quite a few of the parents are involved as volunteers or employees of the school and/or the affiliated Sunday School / church programs.

 

The other day I was chatting with a mom of a 1st grader at another parochial school. I mentioned that my younger dd (also 1st grade) does not need any help from me with school. The mom seemed shocked. So I guess around here, in parochial school at least, the standard is that you work with your 1st grader at home.

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The teacher did not ask you to stop working at home with your child. She asked you to stop giving her the answers to the next day's work. There is a big difference.

 

Excuse me, I am not giving her the answers. I'm giving her an opportunity to use her brain to figure out what the answers are, which the classroom environment somehow does not enable. She is doing all the work and practicing the skills. I never tell her what an answer is.

 

Also, it isn't usually the next day's work. That one time it happened to be. Sometimes we're a week ahead of the class, sometimes a couple days behind. It's not like I'm cramming her the night before with the answers specific to that day. I don't even know what the teacher is going to cover on a given day.

 

And further, if my kid was so brilliant that she could simply memorize answers provided by me, she wouldn't need my help in the first place.

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In the incident the teacher wrote you about you did have her do the sheet the night before. The only explanation she could give for the answer was that she had memorized it.

 

 

 

 

Excuse me, I am not giving her the answers. I'm giving her an opportunity to use her brain to figure out what the answers are, which the classroom environment somehow does not enable. She is doing all the work and practicing the skills. I never tell her what an answer is.

 

Also, it isn't usually the next day's work. That one time it happened to be. Sometimes we're a week ahead of the class, sometimes a couple days behind. It's not like I'm cramming her the night before with the answers specific to that day. I don't even know what the teacher is going to cover on a given day.

 

And further, if my kid was so brilliant that she could simply memorize answers provided by me, she wouldn't need my help in the first place.

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The fact that the child was asked several times how she got something correct on a worksheet is odd. It's as if she is expected to struggle and fail. SKL perhaps schedule an appt with the principal to see if there is anyway for you and this teacher to get on the same page.

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In the incident the teacher wrote you about you did have her do the sheet the night before. The only explanation she could give for the answer was that she had memorized it.

 

 

It does not make logical sense to judge the integrity of a 1st-grader's work on whether or not she can explain in words how she arrived at the answer. I guarantee the teacher isn't interrogating the other students on how they arrived at their correct answers.

 

A 6yo does not need to have an "explanation" for getting a right answer.

 

It's hard enough for an adult to explain in words how we come to a conclusion in math.

 

Here was the question essentially:

 

"A is taller than B. C is the tallest. Who is the shortest?"

 

Having to explain the reasoning verbally is a whole separate exercise, which the kids were not prepared for. Think about how you yourself would explain this ("process of elimination"?), and then imagine your 6yo having the teacher in her face demanding this explanation. The teacher who regularly punishes your kid for not working fast enough etc. You're telling me that there is no way your kid could get that answer right without also being able to articulate how, under pressure?

 

My kid never said she memorized. She does not use the word "memorize." She said she worked on that paper last night.

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It does not make logical sense to judge the integrity of a 1st-grader's work on whether or not she can explain in words how she arrived at the answer. I guarantee the teacher isn't interrogating the other students on how they arrived at their correct answers.

 

A 6yo does not need to have an "explanation" for getting a right answer.

 

It's hard enough for an adult to explain in words how we come to a conclusion in math.

 

Here was the question essentially:

 

"A is taller than B. C is the tallest. Who is the shortest?"

 

Having to explain the reasoning verbally is a whole separate exercise, which the kids were not prepared for. Think about how you yourself would explain this ("process of elimination"?), and then imagine your 6yo having the teacher in her face demanding this explanation. The teacher who regularly punishes your kid for not working fast enough etc. You're telling me that there is no way your kid could get that answer right without also being able to articulate how, under pressure?

 

My kid never said she memorized. She does not use the word "memorize." She said she worked on that paper last night.

 

I agree. Explaining verbally is a more difficult task. It would have been more appropriate for the teacher to ask her to show her work (i.e. draw a picture of A, B, and C).

 

Sorry you are going through this.

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OP, i don't think you or your child can ever win over this teacher. The example you just gave is multiple choice, it is either A or B since most kids can figure out C is not the right answer. It is nutty that the teacher grilled a 6 year old over this problem since plenty of other kids just picked A or B without having to draw or explain their answer. if the teacher wanted to help she could tell her to draw pictures of the three people instead of griling her. The teacher is looking for ways to make your DD fail. I would try not to engage her. Unless you are asked a direct question or your daughter is given detention, I wouldn't email her or read the teacher comments since the teacher only writes hurtful comments. Keep teaching your daughter at home. Continue to preview the 2nd grade material this summer so she has a good start in second grade.

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Ack! I have to keep reminding myself that your daughter is only six.

 

Anyway, could you give your daughter the same problems with slightly different numbers?

 

 

I dunno, it is so time-consuming already (I'm a single working mom of 2, so time is very tight). The worksheets are provided in PDF downloads, so obviously I can't just change up the numbers. They have picture clues and all that. And I can't just use a different format, because her biggest problem is following the instructions, not doing the computations.

 

What I'm trying to do is put some more time between the day we work on stuff at home and the day they are likely to do that at school. So she won't be able to "fly through" the work as fast and maybe won't raise eyebrows.

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Perhaps you could use some of the supplementary materials. B&N carries a similar wkbk - it's called "Singapore Math Practice".

 

Sunshine Math or Math Superstars also has free worksheets to give practice on following directions and problem solving:

http://it.pinellas.k...ars/mathss.html

 

 

I didn't know about Singapore Math Practice (assuming it's different from what they do in school). That sounds wonderful. I will look into it. I'll check out your link as well.

 

She's doing better with understanding the instructions, as I keep guiding her to refer to them rather than just fly by the seat of her pants. But she is not ready for me to stop guiding her yet.

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OK, I am looking up those Singapore practice workbooks, and it's saying "2nd grade, level 1A / 1B." Does that sound strange? My kids are just starting level 1B in 1st grade, which I assumed was a little behind the Singapore curve. ??

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The pub is labeling it that way to have a broader appeal. Just pick the book that has the material your child's class is working on.

SIngapore 1B in first grade is considered appropriate for the advanced student; it would also be appropriate for the average second grader. http://www.singapore..._Guide_s/85.htm

 

OK, that is news to me. No wonder it seems a little advanced. :)

 

I got inspired and also ordered some "companion" workbooks for reading practice - the "approaching" edition and the "beyond" edition of the "Treasures" workbooks. Hopefully the format will be similar enough for one or both to offer good prep for the class work. They don't have anything like that for spelling and grammar, though. (Spelling is pretty straight-forward, but grammar often is not.)

 

I'm really glad that you inspired me to look at other possibilities.

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This is about the dd who has trouble following along in class (1st grade). She doesn't listen well and has vision issues that make it hard for her to complete classwork. So often she has to miss recess time, go over papers multiple times, and take low scores (Ds/Fs), exasperating the teacher and getting discouraged herself - and not learning as well as she should.

 

A while back I started going over her math in advance at home, which helped a lot, but then I saw things going way south in grammar and reading. I downloaded the grammar, spelling, and reading workbooks (available on the school website) and started going over these pages in advance. Things started looking up.

 

Last week my dd mentioned that a classmate had accused her of cheating when she mentioned she'd done the paper at home. A few days later in an email exchange, the teacher mentioned that my kid was doing much better and seeming more confident. She then asked me to stop going over the papers in advance. She said "she mentions in class that she's done this before" and couldn't I just make up other examples to go over instead. However, this would defeat the purpose of getting my kid familiar enough to follow the specific instructions for each worksheet.

 

To me, I'm providing an accommodation for a kid with learning barriers so she can learn the material, perform in class, gain confidence, and give her teacher some relief. It's not like we're memorizing a stolen copy of the SAT, right? I fail to see the problem here.

 

Do any of you work ahead in the curriculum to shore up these kinds of weaknesses? What does your child's teacher think of this?

 

 

We work ahead all the time in preparation for vacations, extended absences, etc. NOTHING wrong with it! People should mind their own business, you aren't interfering with anyones ability to learn! keep doing what is working to build their self-esteem and most importantly keep doing what helps them learn!

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Working ahead is clearly the route to doing the best for your child. No question. I would argue that for subjects like math that being able to explain the reasoning behind problem solving is the essential skill to cultivate. At age 6 I was a tough as could be with my son, and did not accept any answers (even correct ones) if the reasoning could not be explained. No credit.

 

I would focus like a laser-beam on cultivating things like re-grouping skills and requiring answers be explained. The process will help you see where she has trouble and where she gets it.

 

I get that a child might wither under the pressure of a (seeming hostile) teacher questioning her, but she should be able to explain her work. This is a reasonable expectation, and is the process that truly builds mastery of a subject.

 

It is also understandable that a teacher would not want a child behind fed answers (and I'm not suggesting you are going that) because presenting an illusion of false competence helps no one.

 

The "real" Singapore math program, "Primary Mathematics," is awfully good if you have the time for it.

 

Bill

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Sounds like that teacher is intimidated by you. She must feel insulted that a child in her class needs after-schooling. It doesn't look good on her c.v. Just keep doing what you're doing. Sounds like you purchased some books for summer break. Great! Have fun with your daughter. They grow up so fast.

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How frustrating! It doesn't sound like you can give the teacher any response that she will accept. I would still let her know that DD did the work on the problem herself—you didn't do it for her.

 

 

I'm getting mixed comments about whether I should respond to the teacher or not. Right now I do not intend to respond. It's been about a week now, and besides, I don't know that it would do any good. She doesn't have to believe me, and she might take it some sort of pressure from me. Also, I am planning to change my strategy anyway, to something she is less likely to complain about (hopefully).

 

On a positive note, they had an actual math test which I did not have access to, and my kid got a pretty good grade, better than her sister. Her math test scores have been gradually improving over time. So that is evidence in my favor that what I'm doing isn't counterproductive. But I will be glad when I have those "parallel" worksheets to work on, hopefully by next week.

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Excuse me, I am not giving her the answers. I'm giving her an opportunity to use her brain to figure out what the answers are, which the classroom environment somehow does not enable. She is doing all the work and practicing the skills. I never tell her what an answer is.

 

Also, it isn't usually the next day's work. That one time it happened to be. Sometimes we're a week ahead of the class, sometimes a couple days behind. It's not like I'm cramming her the night before with the answers specific to that day. I don't even know what the teacher is going to cover on a given day.

 

And further, if my kid was so brilliant that she could simply memorize answers provided by me, she wouldn't need my help in the first place.

 

 

 

Keep it up,SKL. You're not cheating. Your daughter is not cheating. You are studying with your daughter at home. Keep it up!

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Reading over my post, I realize that the fact is, I have lost confidence in this teacher and just want my kid to get through 1st grade and be ready for 2nd. I'm essentially homeschooling the important stuff since her teacher can't teach her.

 

I was thinking this, too. If you teach your daughter 1-2x at home and she gets it, then why does it take the teacher 4-5x for your daughter to not get it? Hmm... I don't think you are cheating at all. I think you are right about that teacher having a problem.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Bill is right about needing to explain your answers but with your daughter's problems she should get some dispensation.

 

If they don't want you to use them they shouldn't give you access to the worksheets. I do wish our school at a text or something I could look up though as I really can not work out what my son is supposed to be learning and it drives me nuts.

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