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UPDATED: Got it, thank you!


Julie in CA
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Hmmm.... Have you tried logging out of WTM and then logging back in? Maybe that will make it "take" on your end. We definitely see you! :)

 

We were posting at the same time! That probably means that neither of us is right, and Julie is sitting at home right now after signing out, trying desperately to remember what password she used when she joined the forum. ;)

 

I have actually done stuff like that. I have signed out of different sites, only to want to get back on again... except I forgot my password, and it takes me about 100 tries to finally get it right. And of course, it's usually sites that I joined when I had a different email address, so I can't even do the "forgot your password?" thing. :glare:

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Ha! Got it!

My dds thought the picture wasn't very good, but I'm gonna go with it. Not happy and smiling, like I used to be, but not as super-sad as I look most of the time now.

 

ETA: HERE IS THE PLACE WHERE I POSTED A PICTURE OF SOMEONE ELSE. IT WAS BENEATH ME, AND I REMOVED IT BECAUSE I'D LIKE TO BE A BETTER PERSON THAN THAT. MY DIGNITY SLIPPED FOR A MOMENT, BUT IT'S BACK--FOR NOW, LOL!

 

 

ETA: Thanks for humoring me, friends.

I had to run to the grocery today, and realized that I dread seeing people because I think they'll look at me and think, "Well no wonder he was interested in someone else. The one he's married to isn't very easy on the eyes, is she?". And yep, I'm really old in comparison, and really, really overweight, and, and, and.....etc. I just needed someone to tell me that this didn't happen because I'm a total dog.

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And you look WAY better than the person in the picture. Seriously. You're beautiful. And if the person in the picture is who I'm guessing it probably is, I'm sorry that you even have to contend with this. :grouphug:

 

Thanks, friend. I know it's a really twisted thing to do, but I just need a girlfriend to side with me for a moment, kwim? :blushing:

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I don't want to comment on the other part of your post, b/c I know you have such a fine inner spirit that you will be deleting that part.

 

{Sigh} I know, I know, it's really, really bad. -And out of character for me. I guess I'm caving to insecurity now, and I'm having trouble staying....well....I'm having trouble sticking to the high road. I'll snap out of it again in a few minutes, but right now, I'm craving reassurance. Sad, huh? :crying: What a small person...

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Guest inoubliable

You are a true classic beauty!!! The other person doesn't hold a candle to you, I promise!

 

Tina

 

 

That's what I was thinking! "Classically gorgeous".

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Julie, truly, I didn't get your post, until I realized that you must have come back and edited out part of it. From your posts over the years, I know you to be kind, smart (!), loving, hard-working, and someone I would love to get to know if I only had time for real friendships. (It takes time to be a good friend, so right now I'm a lousy friend.)

 

I remember the old avatar, and I thought you were beautiful then, but this new pic: OMG. All I can say, is "Was he out of his ever-lovin' mind?" The answer clearly had to be yes--something went way haywire there.

 

Honey, you are beautiful inside and out. We'll be here and take a number to stand in line and remind you. Hugs!

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Julie, you are gorgeous! Please remember that cheaters cheat. I don't think it has one thing to do with beauty - I think it's the thrill of getting away with it or something.

 

Think of Tiger Woods for instance - his wife was a model and the women he cheated with were.... well... uh not.

 

:grouphug:

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Peggy is right. The situation didn't happen because of anything you did or didn't do, or anything you are or aren't. It happened because your H chose it. I certainly understand the insecurity such a situation would breed, though, and I'm so sorry it is a raw wound right now. :grouphug:

 

Count me in as another one who thinks your hair is awesome! :)

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One more person who thinks your avatar picture is lovely! You are beautiful and I'm so jealous of your skin and hair!

 

And in response to one of your remarks, cheaters don't care how beautiful, thin, or wonderful their spouse/SO is, they're gonna cheat anyway. Look at how many Hollywood stars (the truly beautiful, according to society, but I totally disagree) are cheated on. A husband cheating is not a reflection or who or what you are, but who and what he is.

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And in response to one of your remarks, cheaters don't care how beautiful, thin, or wonderful their spouse/SO is, they're gonna cheat anyway. Look at how many Hollywood stars (the truly beautiful, according to society, but I totally disagree) are cheated on. A husband cheating is not a reflection or who or what you are, but who and what he is.

 

I know my dh didn't do this because of how I look. I also know he didn't do this because I was inattentive to him physically or emotionally (I have always been extremely attentive), or because I'm privately a hard person to live with (because I'm not), or because I'm a shrew in private (I'm decidedly not!). Still though, even some people who know me fairly well have made assumptions such as those, and I guess I needed a little reassurance that what people were thinking was probably not, "Well of course he went for _______________, have you seen how his wife looks?". I've found myself avoiding going out in public because I dread that comparison. I needed a little confirmation that people might be thinking a lot of things, but that they probably aren't thinking that I'm a total dog compared to the other...person.

 

I feel better. Am I desperately in need of reassurance, and willing to compromise upon how I'd usually behave in order to get that reassurance? Unfortunately, yes. Do I need the ladies here to be girlfriends who allow me to be less-than-noble for a little while? Unfortunately, yes. Sometimes venting here allows me to go about my "real life" with a little more dignity than I might otherwise have had, and I'm very thankful that all of the sweet people here treat me like a friend. To be truthful, the ladies here have been so much more supportive than friends in real life...it's been one of the bright spots in a really dark time.

 

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH!

 

 

ETA: I'm going with this theory about why my dh might have done this: "All I can say, is "Was he out of his ever-lovin' mind?" The answer clearly had to be yes--something went way haywire there." Thanks so much, Valerie!

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ETA: I'm going with this theory about why my dh might have done this: "All I can say, is "Was he out of his ever-lovin' mind?" The answer clearly had to be yes--something went way haywire there." Thanks so much, Valerie!

 

 

Julie, one more thing. I know it doesn't really help, but there's just something that seems to snap in some guys. I'll call it the Stoopid Gene, for lack of anything better, and hopefully it will make you grin for an eighth of a second.

 

You are not alone: I've seen it happen in two couples that I know personally. And mind you, I don't get out a lot, and I'm usually the very last person to know things, so it's not saying much. But honestly, there is no good reason for it--that's why I used the word haywire. Sproinnnngggg!

 

Here's what I do know: this breaks God's heart. He loves you. He, too, is weeping for what you are going through. He alone has the ability to comfort you even though you may have days and weeks when you feel like you are inconsolable. He alone is able to bind the pieces of your broken heart and to breathe life. And He will. You know he will, even though your emotions tell you it is impossible.

 

Many hugs!

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Julie, you are so beautiful. Truly. Absolutely.

 

If I saw you out and about, knowing that your dh did what he did, I would have to shake my head every time I saw you because your inward and outward beauty is a reminder of how very, very whackadoodledoo that man must be.

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