Update: Where would I go to get assistance paying for clothing for my dad?

[*********]

Another question about my dad. :D

 

He's 50 pounds lighter now than before the heart attack. All of his clothes are WAY too big on him. He needs a whole new wardrobe. Nothing fancy; some athletic/elastic waist pants, a few button up shirts, a couple zip up hoodies, and new boxers.

 

My mother is not providing these things. She either can't or won't. More like won't. But whatever, she's not.

 

Now I'm a thrifty lady, and can get Dad some things at the thrift store. But when you add up all he needs, it's a nice little chunk of money, even getting what I can at thrift prices. And he kinda REALLY needs it now. As in, his clothes are falling off of him they're so big.

 

Any ideas where to go in their community to get assistance for dad to pay for his clothes? I'd love to just go get them all myself, but like everyone else, we have a budget, and I just can't squeeze all of dad's needs into it.

 

*************

Update:

 

I had to come back here and tell you all a few things.

 

First of all, I hit the thrift store today and got my dad several very useful things for very cheap. So yay me. :D

I emailed my older sister (the only other one of us four daughters that has stayed involved in dad's care) and told her the situation. She's going to help out. So we've got it covered.

 

And lastly, a hiver I don't even know offered to send me money to get things for my dad. Seriously. But because of my sister stepping up, that's really not necessary.

 

God is Good. All the time.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Social worker through hospital or nursing home?

[*********]

I do have dad's social worker's number, that's a good idea.

[TXBeth]

Doesn't your dad have access to his/their funds? Can he give you his credit/debit card to make the necessary purchases?

[Beth S]

Never mind. I see you already considered Goodwill. I do believe, though, that they let truly needy people shop for free. Try Salvation Army thrift store as well. Or ask around (esp. at church) for hand-me-downs.

[Catwoman]

Doesn't your dad have access to his/their funds? Can he give you his credit/debit card to make the necessary purchases?

 

:iagree:

 

Borrow your dad's credit card and order him some clothes online.

 

And I don't know how to say this gently, but the things you have posted about your mom are worrisome. Is she simply ignoring his needs or is she being blatantly abusive toward him? I thought it was odd that she wouldn't buy food for him or cook for him, but not buying him any clothes when he has nothing that fits seems way over the top.

 

I'm so sorry your mom is making things harder for you, instead of working with you to help your dad.

[itsheresomewhere]

If he has any money in his account, very few places will help him with clothing. You can always look for lots on ebay.

[*********]

 

:iagree:

 

Borrow your dad's credit card and order him some clothes online.

 

And I don't know how to say this gently, but the things you have posted about your mom are worrisome. Is she simply ignoring his needs or is she being blatantly abusive toward him? I thought it was odd that she wouldn't buy food for him or cook for him, but not buying him any clothes when he has nothing that fits seems way over the top.

 

I'm so sorry your mom is making things harder for you, instead of working with you to help your dad.

 

Hm. I'm not sure if dad even carries a copy of their credit card. Mom might not let him. And if I used his card to order him clothes on line, I'd be worried about maxing out their card.

 

My parent's financial situation is bleak. They have nothing. NO savings or retirement. My mom works, and her pay goes to keep them barely afloat. They are BAD with managing their money on top of it all. Dad obviously has no income until his social security disability payments start, which is soon.

[*********]

Ask his church secretary

 

You know, this is a good idea.

[Wabi Sabi]

Frankly, it sounds like it might be time to place a call to Adult Protective Services, assuming that your mother has the means to buy him appropriate clothing (and food!) but just refuses to do so. It strikes me as a bit off to rely on charity or assistance in this situation.

 

ETA: Oops, we cross-posted. So money is an issue, right? In that case I might start with his church. Does he have a social worker or case manager? That would be a good resource as well.

[Catwoman]

Hm. I'm not sure if dad even carries a copy of their credit card. Mom might not let him. And if I used his card to order him clothes on line, I'd be worried about maxing out their card.

 

Didn't he have a credit card before he got sick? I wasn't under the impression that your mom was ruling the roost to that extent before your dad became ill. His credit cards are probably still in his wallet. You and he can call the credit card company and immediately find out exactly how much available credit is on each card.

[*********]

Didn't he have a credit card before he got sick? I wasn't under the impression that your mom was ruling the roost to that extent before your dad became ill. His credit cards are probably still in his wallet. You and he can call the credit card company and immediately find out exactly how much available credit is on each card.

 

 

Oh, mom's always been in charge.

 

And if I went and bought dad clothes with his credit card without talking to her first, that'd be a bad thing. Plus dad wouldn't want me to do that. I'd cause a fuss.

[Candid]

If you have a local charity that helps the needy, they may have a clothing bank that will let him come and shop for clothes. His social worker should know about this. There are often elder care groups as well that could help with this.

[Orthodox6]

Maybe there is a charitable organization that would allow you to trade his old clothing for some of their current stock. If everything was donated to that organization in the first place, it seems worth investigating. They would be losing nothing.

[Catwoman]

 

 

Oh, mom's always been in charge.

 

And if I went and bought dad clothes with his credit card without talking to her first, that'd be a bad thing. Plus dad wouldn't want me to do that. I'd cause a fuss.

 

It would probably be too expensive to do that, anyway, and all things considered, it wouldn't be worth the drama with your mom.

[Dandelion]

You could also try Freecycle (www.freecycle.org). There's a Freecycle group in almost every major city/town in the U.S. People post items they're giving away and you can also submit a "wanted" post to see whether someone has what you're looking for. Just post that you're looking for men's clothing in whatever size your dad wears (along with specific clothing items you're looking for), and you'll probably get several responses. People give away clothes on Freecycle all the time.

[Catwoman]

You could also try Freecycle (www.freecycle.org). There's a Freecycle group in almost every major city/town in the U.S. People post items they're giving away and you can also submit a "wanted" post to see whether someone has what you're looking for. Just post that you're looking for men's clothing in whatever size your dad wears (along with specific clothing items you're looking for), and you'll probably get several responses. People give away clothes on Freecycle all the time.

 

That's an excellent idea!

[Mama Geek]

You could also ask at your church as well. I am sorry things are they way they are.

[Reflections]

When considering Goodwill, don't forget Walmart - with the markdowns they have sometimes the clothing can be cheaper than Goodwill.

 

Our churches here have "closets" that they open up one day a week where you can get clothing items for free. Call a few churches and one may know of another and so on.

 

I'm sorry you have to be in the middle of all this. :grouphug:

[gingersmom]

The hospital social worker should be able to put you in touch with charities that would be able to give you clothing or money towards clothing.

[MomtoCandJ]

I will be In your area Wednesday night and early Thursday morning, I can see if my local thrift store has anything for him.