Aubrey Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 So I've been thinking for a long time about how to come back, afraid it would be awkward, not wanting to say too much or too little...you understand? Checking the water with my toe... But then something happened today that I knew you guys would appreciate, something that could only happen to me. And it's a very Aubrey way to re-introduce myself. The kids got a turtle in '05 from an overpopulated pond at a museum (staff were giving them away). Recently, we spent about 6 weeks in TX while friends kept the turtle for us. We finally were able to go pick him up yesterday. Late last night, dh came home, checked on the turtle--since we hadn't set all of his stuff up, just to make sure he was set for the night--& woke me up to tell me he'd died. He was crawling around in his tank at 5...maybe later? So he had to have *just* died. Suddenly. As soon as we got him home. Like, he took one look & said, "Bleh." Of course, I deal with death well: I yelled at dh that he was wrong, needed to check again, raise him from the dead if necessary. Because the kids have suffered too much loss in the last year to lose the turtle IMMEDIATELY too. But, alas. The turtle was dead, he assured me. We told the kids this morning, buried him in the back yard, & made cocoa. All of us cried. Then dh texts me that the turtle might not be dead. He might be hibernating. Apparently turtles have strange ways of doing that--some people keep them in the fridge for a few mos of the year. (??????????????) So...would I mind to go dig up the turtle? And, you know, check. ????????????????? 8-/ Now there's a maybe-dead turtle in my kitchen under a heat lamp. I've kept the kids in the basement (play room) all day so as not to traumatize them. But, really. I've been staring at an undead turtle all day, poking him with a baby-med dispenser, describing the bulge in his eyes & the level of stiffness in his limbs to dh, who googles, because we don't have internet at the house yet. (Was supposed to be yesterday, but now there's not even a dial tone there!) If you want to talk about who's going to need therapy.... I snuck the kids out to McD's for internet & so I wouldn't have to explain what I'm hiding. They think I just needed time alone to grieve. I think this ranks up there w/ the lady telling me about the dead body in her son's car. So...hello! As far as other things...I hope you guys understand if it's a while before I can talk about things more personal than poking dead turtles. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Hey!! Nice to have you back. Did you google? I'll do it for you. (Whoops, saw you googled.) Hm. If he was warm he shouldn't be hibernating. Maybe he is dead. How are all your cute kids? Aside from the turtle thing. And you're right, this is a real "you" story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2myboys Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! Hope the turtle is OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Whoa. Nice meeting you. Hoping the best for Zombie Turtle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted February 14, 2013 Author Share Posted February 14, 2013 I"m too freaked out to google now. Dh is on his way home, has promised to at least hide the turtle in our bathroom until we know something. But jeepers. You shouldn't have to hang a flag if you're dead. And this turtle really SHOULDN'T be dead. But...now that we've told the kids AND BURIED him, I have to admit, I feel a little less invested. And more, after staring at him all day. But now! I told dh I'd feel AWFUL to bury a live turtle. He said, "If he's alive, technically, I did." Yeah, I know. But I mean, like...twice. THAT would be bad. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted February 14, 2013 Author Share Posted February 14, 2013 Hey!! Nice to have you back. Did you google? I'll do it for you. Hm. If he was warm he shouldn't be hibernating. Maybe he is dead. How are all your cute kids? Aside from the turtle thing. And you're right, this is a real "you" story. Maybe he wasn't WARM. We keep the house cold-ish. But dh was checking the water temp, said it was ok, before he noticed the unusually deep sleep. But he read today that turtles can hibernate for 4 mos under a frozen pond w/out oxygen or food or anything. Cute kids: Oldest is doing Algebra. I can't believe it. Littles complain that they don't know enough science & NEED to. Baby is running around, barely talking. He saw the turtle this morning at the grave & thought we were playing hide & seek. He was very excited, exclaiming TURTLE & pointing, even after he was buried. Because he KNEW where we'd hidden the turtle. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I really have missed you! Welcome back, and good luck with the undead turtle. I think he's dead, but I know nothing about turtles. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Hi girl. Yes this is a very good re entry story. I hope the turtle lives. Bu i must admit I am not hopeful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 But now! I told dh I'd feel AWFUL to bury a live turtle. He said, "If he's alive, technically, I did." Yeah, I know. But I mean, like...twice. THAT would be bad. :p Don't think of it as burying a live turtle. Think of it as putting him into a natural state for a natural hibernation. It's where he'd want to be for hibernation. Underground. You were doing a good thing! However you confirm my husband's belief that this board is fill with bat ass crazy women and he wonders how any of us are able to homeschool children. Something about if the state knew what went on on this board they'd never let most of us homeschool our children! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Nice to see you! Just wanted to say that I pet sat two California tortoises a few years ago, and the owner induced a false state of hibernation by keeping them in a darkish basement with low food. Weirdest petsit ever (also had two cats). Hope they are OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Hey you, so glad I noticed your name! The turtle story makes a nice segue, but you would be welcome even with a less interesting story. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back, crazy lady! :p Um, my dad had a massive heart attack last August. Three weeks on life support, then a gazillion complications. Right now he's in a nursing home. So now you're caught up on what's going on with me. Your turtle story is *way* funnier. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You need a Halfway Mausoleum. Go out in the yard, dig a little tunnel diagonally down into the ground, and put the turtle in it. Put some water and food in there, too, whether for use now or in the afterlife. (I don't know your turtle's faith; I'm just trying to prepare for all eventualities.) If he's dead, he's "buried" in that he is underground and not in your kitchen. If he's alive, he may have a nice nap in a protected place. When he's ready he can have a snack and a drink and just walk on out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back!!! I've missed you. And I'm sorry, or good luck, with Zombie Turtle. (You have the most interesting and humorous life!) :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyinva Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Maybe your turtle friend is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead, you know. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Maybe your turtle friend is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead, you know. ;) I LOL'd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyndiLJ Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Oh no. Now I am going to keep checking the boards to see about the turtle's life circumstance. And knowing me, I'll be checking back way too often just for this. PLEASE keep us posted, just so I can eventually stop looking for news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I agree with Tibbie. I would add that if comes out of that if comes out of that hole, you should rename him Lazarus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Hi! So good to see you again. Love the turtle story. Sorry to hear the kids had a rough year. There are som new faces, but you should be able to slide right in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You're still the best story teller. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 If the turtle is dead after all... Maybe you could mummify it. (I'm on my phone or I'd put in the little run away smilie!) Welcome home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I'm so glad to see you here! Thanks for checking in. Best wishes for the turtle. May your children be blissfully unaware of the drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! The turtle...I'm with Scarlett, I'm not very hopeful. But I've been wrong before. Good luck, and if he isn't dead I hope he doesn't come back hungry for brains. :scared: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! I am sorry about the turtle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Huzzah for the return of Aubrey! Missed your voice around here. . . . :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HollyB Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back, Aubrey! I hope you are doing well. We have missed your stories! I hope this one has a good ending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 You know we're all going to keep coming back for updates on the turtle, right? :D Welcome back!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 :hurray: Yay, you're back! So sorry about the turtle... gosh, maybe he's just in shock because he missed you, or something?!? Animals can be weird. We've acquired a rabbit, much to my dismay. :001_huh: What's even more shocking is that I'm more attached to him than anyone else is. :blink: Last night, he seemed to be getting a cold. He wouldn't eat, he was listless, his eyes were dripping, etc. I worried about him all night. This morning he's better. Can you bring a turtle out of hibernation? How long do you have to hide him until you "know" one way or the other? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back, Aubrey. I've missed your accounts of your life. This was a good re-entry story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 So glad to see you back, Aubrey. I've been wondering if you made any progress getting Steve Sheinkin to write a good American history volume for us. :tongue_smilie: Well.......? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! :) Trying to think of some witty turtle-related humorous and utterly failing. So, yeah, just ... welcome back! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back, Aubrey. What an Aubrey-esque story. I'll trade you one semi-dead turtle for a semi-dead mouse. She's looking awful and just. won't. die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 So, keep us posted on the turtle. Even I feel invested in the outcome now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljenn Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I had a desert tortoise and he (she?) would hibernate. My ex- husband built a small, low doghouse type of structure and we dug out a pit about 8-12 inches deep and put the tortoisehouse on top. He/she did go in there. A reptile store told us to be careful because if there were flooding rains, the tortoise could drown because they hibernate in such a deep sleep state. Yours may not be dead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 missed you... glad you're back sorry about the turtle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 I agree with Tibbie. I would add that if comes out of that if comes out of that hole, you should rename him Lazarus. Oh, I hope this happens...that would just make this story perfect!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome Back, Aubrey!!! Good to "see" you again!! Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Nothing fixes the February board-blahs like an undead turtle! Welcome back, Aubrey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadrunner Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! Apparently there is a turtle forum (not kidding), which suggests slowly warming the turtle. It it moves in a day, it's alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome home! And I'm sorry, but I really laughed at the thought of you poking the dead turtle.. I've done the opposite--have to put a lamb down and poked it to see if I'd really done the deed. And then being upset when I hadn't... I laughed too...and it's written in such an "Aubrey way". Missed you. Glad you are back to regale us with most unusual happenings in your life! :) So...is the turtle alive? Will you have to wait 4 months before you know? Can you hold a mirror in front of his mouth??? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 So happy you're back! You were missed! As for the turtle, we have several that hang around our yard. They bury themselves every fall and dig back out in the spring. Perhaps there's still hope for yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! I've missed your crazy stories! Glad you are back as "you"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back Aubrey! Well, what I would do is buy another turtle that looks the same and the kids would never know. But I am just practical like that. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Hello and welcome back. We went through a similar Resurrectionist incident last year. During a cold snap in Spring dd came crying and told me she thought one of the fledgling magpies we had been sharing our hill with was dead. It was lying under a tree and looked very freshly dead, but was so cold that I though maybe it was only 'mostly dead' (Miracle Max in The Princess Bride). So I put it down my shirt to slowly warm it. I figured if it was still dead when warm then we'd call it dead. I could feel occasional, very faint little movements and got quite excited. But then when I inspected it, I found a small worm crawling around in the feathers of the dead bird in my shirt against my skin. Yuck, creepy , creepy. I then let dd bury the DEAD bird but made her wash her hands as well as I had washed my front. Hope your turtle ends better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 So nice to hear from you :D ...even with an undead turtle story... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 Welcome back! Good to "see" you and hear a story. What a story! Hmmm, I wonder if the turtle will come back out.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 14, 2013 Share Posted February 14, 2013 It's so good to see you here; you've been missed! Love the turtle story. Keep us posted :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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