happyhomemaker25 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 We are expecting number 7 in May. Our five older kids are adopted so technically it's my 2nd baby. Its a boy and my youngest son is 7. We've struggled with infertility and losses so the ladies at church and some other friends are insisting on a baby shower. I'm truly touched though I keep wanting to tell people our first 5 were adopted because I don't want people to think we're just being greedy. I love baby showers for all babies for other people, it's just a pride thing for me. I ALWAYS worry about what other people think. Anyway, I've had a few of the people looking forward to coming to the shower ask me to register for what I need. I don't need a lot so they tell me to register for what I want. LOL Would you register if more than a couple of people were asking you to? I thought this would be more like a diaper shower or something. I'm ok with registering it just goes back to that whole, "What will people think?" mentality. If I do decide to register do you have any suggestions for useful stuff for a second baby of a different gender than your first? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 The people that know and love you want you to register. Who cares what those who don't know you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Yes. Don't worry about what other people think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbeth Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I understand your concern, I felt that way when I had my youngest five years ago. There was a huge age gap between her and my next youngest and b/c we had moved cross country we really did have almost nothing. I did end up going along with shower and registering and was glad that I did. Just an alternative, positive thought.... maybe these ladies are anxious to bless you with a shower b/c you are so thoughtful and considerate of others and don't take advantage. Those are just type of folks that most love to do sweet things for. Because of the difficulties you've experienced they are probably wanting to celebrate this with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Could you ask for something one can always use more of, such as children's books or freezer meals? I got pregnant with my first within a few months after I got married, and some friends insisted on throwing me a shower. I felt like everyone has JUST given me wedding gifts, and was adamantly opposed until one of the friends suggested a children's book shower. I loved that idea, and we still have many of those books even though the honoree is driving and looking at colleges. It struck me as the right blend of modest and "give me something I have to buy anyway like diapers," which is not much fun for the giver. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 We are expecting number 7 in May. Our five older kids are adopted so technically it's my 2nd baby. Its a boy and my youngest son is 7. We've struggled with infertility and losses so the ladies at church and some other friends are insisting on a baby shower. I'm truly touched though I keep wanting to tell people our first 5 were adopted because I don't want people to think we're just being greedy. I love baby showers for all babies for other people, it's just a pride thing for me. I ALWAYS worry about what other people think. Anyway, I've had a few of the people looking forward to coming to the shower ask me to register for what I need. I don't need a lot so they tell me to register for what I want. LOL Would you register if more than a couple of people were asking you to? I thought this would be more like a diaper shower or something. I'm ok with registering it just goes back to that whole, "What will people think?" mentality. If I do decide to register do you have any suggestions for useful stuff for a second baby of a different gender than your first? Congratulations. :hurray: *I* would not register. People know what mothers of infants need. This is not new information. You can tell anyone who asks if you have favorite colors or whatever; close friends who know that you need, say, a new carseat or a stroller, could on their own take up a collection from other friends to buy one for you. Or they could all chip in and pay for a month of diaper service. Actually, whoever is the hostess of the shower can do all sorts of sweet things like that. Registering is not necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Yes. You need to register. Mainly because you already have so many kids. You know what does and does not work for you. You aren't going to pick the crazy things trendy things first time moms pick. You'll pick things you use. But already having as many as you do, you've got things that have probably run there course or could justifibly be replaced. Think things that will make your life easier. It doesnt' have to be cuties, it can be practical. But trying to buy for something with many kids, you know they already have a lot of stuff. They don't need that one thing that saved the shoppers sanity with their own kid, because you probably already know that trick. You end up not having a clue what they really truely want and need. Let people do for you and help you. Plus I'd bet most of those people know you adopted the first 5 right? They probably know, or at least guested, you had infertility issues. Think of it less of a baby shower for your 7th/2nd kid and more of party to celebrate you being able to get pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 First, CONGRATS!! 2nd, sure, why not register? Folks have asked. go ahead and register. If ppl use it, great. If they don't, fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: and 1 more :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarkd Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Congratulations! Registering is a huge help to folks attending the shower. When going to a shower it is a huge relief to not guess what will be useful! I agree with the book theme or meal theme. Folks often want to buy something other than diapers so I would add the type/size of these you want but then add other items. Look around your house and think about what would make the new daily routines easier. Browse amazon or a local baby/toy store for ideas a few days before going to the place where you will register so you feel more prepared. Some items to consider might include safety items, toiletry/medicine items, packnplay or other resting place, a new high chair, monitors. We still use monitors with our older kids so everyone has freedom and feels safe. We also love sound machines to allow easier sleeping for baby while the usual chaos of life is going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Congratulations! Registering is a huge help to folks attending the shower. When going to a shower it is a huge relief to not guess what will be useful! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 I feel similarly to you.....always worried what people will think. That being said, if several people have mentioned it.....yes, I would. Like others have said, it makes it easier on the gift giver to have that guidance. People have different styles and preferences, as long as you aren't going crazy with extravagant things, it's nice to know what YOU like/want. YAY!!! Enjoy it :) I love baby showers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bzymom Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Congratulations!! If you know people are planning a shower, go ahead and register. We'd all rather purchase useful gifts than wander the stores trying to figure out what in the world you don't have yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Yes! I would register. As a shower attender, I always use the registry and would be appreciative. In fact, the last time I did not use the registry, I ended up purchasing the same thing as the mother-to-be's aunt. It took me a long time to pick out what I wanted to get her (couldn't decide what to get and then the color when I did decide). I was disappointed. Whatever you choose to do, a big congratulations to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Honestly, if a shower is being planned then go register somewhere. If folks don't want to get something for the new baby, they won't go to the shower. So no need thinking you are being grabby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 How on earth did we ever manage to give gifts to expectant mothers before there was such a thing as a gift registry? :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 How on earth did we ever manage to give gifts to expectant mothers before there was such a thing as a gift registry? :-) There weren't so many options back then, Ellie!!! :laugh: (Speaking as someone who remembers those days - long, long ago & far, far away!!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Absolutely. When I was pg with Han Solo, my friends wanted to throw me a shower. I have always heard it was "tacky" to have a shower for a second baby (though I personally don't think this), but they wanted to do it, so how could I say no without hurting their feelings? My family in the States also wanted me to register so they knew what to send, since I couldn't easily return it. There is an 8.5 year gap between Indy and Han Solo, so we had nothing for a baby. I picked out things in all price ranges, since I knew some people (my parents and in-laws) would spend more and others would spend less. I actually did my registry on Amazon, which made it super easy for everyone. My friends and family all appreciated knowing what I wanted/needed. Oh, and congratulations!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I might create one and just share with people who specifically ask. I had a baby list on Amazon for my second and didn't tell anyone about it, but one person did find it and use it :) It was more of a "keeping track" list for myself and it was very useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I might create one and just share with people who specifically ask. I had a baby list on Amazon for my second and didn't tell anyone about it, but one person did find it and use it :) It was more of a "keeping track" list for myself and it was very useful. This is exactly what I have.....and for the same reason :) Glad I'm not the only one, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Yes, I would register since people are asking and want to give you a baby shower. This way you can get what you really need and you don't have to keep telling people over and over. How wonderful that people want to still celebrate with you. Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I LOVE when people register because I do not enjoy shopping. I have gone to Target an hour before a shower with my scissors and tape in my purse. That registry paper sends me to the EXACT aisle. In minutes I am checked out and sipping a chai latte while wrapping the gift. (Yep, I buy the paper/bows in the same trip.) I love GIVING people gifts, but my practical side really prefers that they have something they need and LIKE. Register, but don't put it on the invitation. People like me will specifically ask the planner and be pleased to get the information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 Thank you. I now have plans to go register after my OB appt. on Thursday. Everyone here loves Babies R Us so that's probably what I will do. I did not think about using it as a way to not get stuff I already have. That's a good idea. Another friend suggested I think about the future and put some stuff on there that you have to change out with every kid (sippy cups, because they just don't last long enough. Bibs, because they are usually stained after one kid. Socks, because you never keep socks.) I usually don't care what people think about me until it comes to stuff like this. Lets face it you can't really homeschool or have a large family and worry what others are thinking all the time. LOL I think I'll make the list on Amazon as well just for my reference. Great idea! Thanks again! I told Dh I was going to ask you guys because I knew I would get the most honest answers here. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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