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I Keep Having Dreams that Disturb Me - (Possible CC)


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#1 HoppyTheToad

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:46 AM

Let me preface this by saying that as long as I am getting good sleep, I usually remember 1-3 dreams every night. Besides the random dreams, I have three types that I've had many times over the past 2-3 years.

The first that I started to have were the soccer dreams. In them, I am trying to get to a game with my high school team, but I never make it. I've had about 20 of these dreams over the past few years and in every one, something happens that prevents me from playing: I get to the location but can't find the field, I find the field but forgot my cleats, I can't find the directions to the game, etc. The only dream I actually played soccer in was the one dream I had about playing pickup with a different group of people.

The second repeating dreams are the high school calculus ones. Although my college level math classes were much harder, I always dream about being back in high school. Each time, I am about to have a test, but I am worried because I have skipped classes for the previous few months (something I never did in high school).

The first two types don't bother me. It's the third type that does,

(Edited to remove the third type)

#2 Onceuponatime

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:55 AM

The way I deal with dreams like that is to not take them seriously at all. That is what I tell my children too, when they have dreams they worry about. You have no control over your dreams, they are random. The anxiety and guilt you feel may be making them repeat more often than they might otherwise. My advice is to do your best to try just let it go. I often dreamed about an old crush for almost 10 years after I was married. I didn't think it was appropriate to tell dh, but I chose not to take it to mean anything other than influences in your life often pop up in your dreams when you least expect them.

#3 Caitilin

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:10 AM

I'm EO, so here's the answer I'd give from that perspective.

Having a dream, or a thought about someone else like that is not sinful. It only becomes sinful when we give it purchase in our lives, by dwelling the thought or dream, thinking about it, obsessing over it. By dwelling on it, we give the enemy a foothold into our lives, and that we should avoid always. In another thread, someone, Milovany maybe, mentioned mentally handing over one's bad thoughts to Christ to hold, thus freeing us from worrying about them anymore. Don't be ashamed. Just reject the thoughts and go on. :grouphug:
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#4 DianeW88

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:12 AM

I guess I don't see the big deal. I have dreams about old boyfriends, other guys I knew, male celebrities, whoever. And in my dreams we have all gone on some pretty hot dates. :D I tell my dh and he laughs. They're dreams. Not reality. They have nothing to do with reality. I'm not cheating on my dh because I liplocked with Bradley Cooper in my dream last night. He thinks it's pretty funny, actually. My dh. Not Bradley Cooper. Although I suspect he would think it's hysterical, too. Don't worry about it. And don't feel like you're keeping some deep, dark secret from your dh. It's only a dream...you have no control over them.
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#5 Parrothead

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:36 AM

What Diane said. And to add to the equation, I have had a recurring encounter with a faceless, although otherwise extremely hot, man for years. I figure he doesn't have a face because it is someone I've never met before.
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#6 Parrothead

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:37 AM

Perhaps if you let your dream self have at it, the dream will go away.
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#7 Donna

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:18 PM

Your dreams are better than some of mine. I tend to remember dreams if I wake up often at night. A few weeks ago, I had a dream that my dog made a huge mess on the carpeted floor and I didn't have any cleaner to clean it up with. The next evening, the dog had intestinal difficulties and did make a small mess on the same floor but my husband accidentally and unknowingly stepped in it and tracked it all over said floor. I did have something to clean it up with though. :glare:

#8 Julie Smith

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

My dh is just happy if I have a dream where I don't wake up annoyed at him.

Lately I have had a string of those. :glare:
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#9 Onceuponatime

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:37 PM

Your dreams are better than some of mine. I tend to remember dreams if I wake up often at night. A few weeks ago, I had a dream that my dog made a huge mess on the carpeted floor and I didn't have any cleaner to clean it up with. The next evening, the dog had intestinal difficulties and did make a small mess on the same floor but my husband accidentally and unknowingly stepped in it and tracked it all over said floor. I did have something to clean it up with though. :glare:


Ha! I have toilet dreams. I have to go and can't find a toilet anywhere that is clean and has a closing door for privacy. When I think things are safe, people walk in on me. I've seen some extraordinarily gross toilets in my dreams. I wonder what that means.
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#10 beaners

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:37 PM

Did someone post on a different thread about a somewhat similar topic to change the way you're sleeping? I recall someone saying these dreams are more common when you sleep on your stomach. Does that ring any bells for anyone?

#11 Lara in Colo

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:45 PM

Generally when I have the "not getting to class " dreams, it means I have got too much on my plate and I am feeling overwhelmed, like I cannot get enough done.
I start by tackeling things that I have been putting off, one at a time.

With flirting with other men dreams, I generally find that I am feeling ignored by my husband. Nothing may have changed in our normal lives, but usually some pampering of myself and some alone time with DH (where he actually listens to me) usually makes those go away.

#12 DianeW88

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 04:55 PM

Your dreams are better than some of mine. I tend to remember dreams if I wake up often at night. A few weeks ago, I had a dream that my dog made a huge mess on the carpeted floor and I didn't have any cleaner to clean it up with. The next evening, the dog had intestinal difficulties and did make a small mess on the same floor but my husband accidentally and unknowingly stepped in it and tracked it all over said floor. I did have something to clean it up with though. :glare:

So if your dream came true, does that mean I REALLY get to go on a hot date with Bradley Cooper???? :drool5: :hurray: :D
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#13 lovemykids

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:04 PM

So if your dream came true, does that mean I REALLY get to go on a hot date with Bradley Cooper???? :drool5: :hurray: :D


:smilielol5:

#14 HoppyTheToad

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:05 PM

Ha! I have toilet dreams. I have to go and can't find a toilet anywhere that is clean and has a closing door for privacy.


DH and I have these, too. Usually we wake up and really need to pee. In his dreams, he can't find a toilet and in mine, they are all out of toilet paper or there is a room with 100 toilets and I can't decide which one to use.

#15 HoppyTheToad

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:09 PM

I had the most ridiculous nightmare a few months ago. In the dream, I was at a restaurant with my family and parents. I looked down at the table and realized that Tigger had died during the meal and none of us had noticed, except Tigger was not a person but a packet of sugar! I woke up extremely sad about my "sweet" child being dead.

Now DH and I get a lot of laughs out of it.


#16 lovemykids

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:13 PM

I hope you find an answer to your problem. I am not well versed in dreams or what they mean, but my gut reaction would be that your subconscious mind is struggling with the tea problems and grappling with a few thoughts of old flames…and that’s nothing to feel ashamed over, it’s a common experience.

Maybe it's the guilt that is causing it to become a focus.

Hugs and good luck! :grouphug:

#17 Liz CA

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:15 PM

I have the opposite problem. I love the ocean and would like to be there in every single dream but it only happens occasionally.
I am intrigued by Parrothead's suggestions to just let yourself dream whatever and see if it goes away - and please let us know.
This could be an interesting experiment. :laugh:
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#18 lovemykids

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:22 PM

Perhaps if you let your dream self have at it, the dream will go away.

I have the opposite problem. I love the ocean and would like to be there in every single dream but it only happens occasionally.
I am intrigued by Parrothead's suggestions to just let yourself dream whatever and see if it goes away - and please let us know.
This could be an interesting experiment. :laugh:


Hahaha, yes..good idea. :lol:

#19 Alessandra

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:24 PM

I once read something about therapy for recurring nightmares. In order to get rid of them, you should half-dream them through, meaning that when you have just woken up from the dream, you close your eyes again and slay the beast, so to speak. You have to get rid of the ogre or whatever while you are still in a semi-dream state in order to stop the dream cycling again and again.

I'm just making a wild guess here, but maybe that technique would work for a non-nightmare too???

#20 Elinor Everywhere

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:25 PM

I had the most ridiculous nightmare a few months ago. In the dream, I was at a restaurant with my family and parents. I looked down at the table and realized that Tigger had died during the meal and none of us had noticed, except Tigger was not a person but a packet of sugar! I woke up extremely sad about my "sweet" child being dead.

Now DH and I get a lot of laughs out of it.


That is one of the craziest dreams I've ever heard! :lol:

#21 HoppyTheToad

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:34 PM

My MIL had a dream a few years ago where their pet cats called her from jail. They wanted her to bail them out.
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#22 Catwoman

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:47 PM

My MIL had a dream a few years ago where their pet cats called her from jail. They wanted her to bail them put.


I'm not surprised.

Those cats were always bad news. ;)

#23 Catwoman

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 05:51 PM

Hoppy, you shouldn't feel guilty about anything that didn't actually happen in real life. Unless you really and truly believe that you would act on any of those dreams, enjoy the dreams while you have them and forget about them when you wake up. Don't waste your time trying to find hidden meanings and analyze this to death, or to look for reasons why God would be angry with you for having a few little fantasies -- and in this case, you're not even doing it while you're awake, so it definitely doesn't count! It's not like you can control the things you dream about, right? (And dreaming about putting your head on someone's shoulder isn't exactly X-rated stuff!!!)

It's not as though you had dreams of becoming a serial killer and now you're planning a trip to the gun show.

And at least your pets aren't calling you from jail. In the overall scheme of things, your dreams sound a lot more fun than your MIL's do. ;)

#24 sbgrace

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 06:06 PM

OP,
I really think you need to let go of any guilt about those dreams. I think dreams like that are quite common. I would never assume they meant a single thing in regards to those men in real life.

At the most it might reflect some conflict within you about the changes in your marriage relationship. You might feel guilty or worried about the lack of interest. I'd do what I could to address those things. You may continue to have the dreams anyway!
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#25 Alexigail

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 06:14 PM

I often have very similar dreams. Usually for me it means that I have some sort of unresolved issue in my life or that I'm anxious about something. Our brains latch on to familiar memories or situations and cycle through them in our dreams. It doesn't mean anything if you don't ascribe meaning to it. I do know how you feel though. I hate the old boyfriend dreams especially.

#26 hillfarm

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 06:42 PM

I read an interesting book a long time ago that said that dreams work in the language of symbols. For example, your first two dreams probably have a lot to do with you feeling frustrated in your current life, and perhaps anxious about not being adequate. What did you hs soccer team mean to you? Is there sometime in this life that has similar meaning that perhaps you feel like you are unprepared or frustrated about? Regarding the math class, again, what does calculus represent to you today? Is there a similar thing that you feel you have not paid adequate attention or not been diligent about? The book said that when you touch on the correct interpretation, you will feel an immediate "gut feeling" that you have found the right answer.

Regarding the guys, based on the book, it is entirely possible that you are attracted to what those guys represent to you, not so much to them specifically. For example, your brain might be using the old boyfriends to symbolize the concept of lost potential or lost opportunities. Have you been feeling like you have had to pass up something important lately?

With the other guy, perhaps he symbolizes beauty and attractiveness that is very appealing to you. Possibly even those attributes in your own self. Maybe also a bit of wanting what you can't have. Anything like that going on in your life?

For me, my old boyfriend dreams usually symbolize inner turmoil and indecision. The big crisis is about whether I will go for what I really want short term and subjecting myself to a lot of possible hurt or whether I will maintain my dignity and cut my losses. Whenever I have such a situation in my life, he shows up in my dreams. BTW, he looks just like he did in high school. I probably wouldn't even recognize him now. Probably wouldn't be attracted to him either! HTH

#27 goldberry

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 07:23 PM

I hope you find an answer to your problem. I am not well versed in dreams or what they mean, but my gut reaction would be that your subconscious mind is struggling with the tea problems and grappling with a few thoughts of old flames


Sorry, but I disagree. I've had dreams about other men at various times, and it never related to any issues with DH at all. I have lots of dreams that I don't think have ANY meaning at all, but if I tried to assign them meaning I could probably drive myself crazy.

I agree with the others that those kind of dreams don't mean squat, unless you give them meaning and dwell on them.

Although I have toilet dreams too....about horribly gross toilets that I am trying and trying to clean up but can never get clean.... That seems pretty self-explanatory though! I always feel really overwhelmed and incompetent in those, and tend to have them when I am stressed with too much activity! You know, dealing with a lot of....well, you know! :)
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#28 Remudamom

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 07:30 PM

Shake it off. Walk away. Don't feel guilty or brood over something like that. False guilt.
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#29 lovemykids

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 09:45 PM

Sorry, but I disagree. I've had dreams about other men at various times, and it never related to any issues with DH at all. I have lots of dreams that I don't think have ANY meaning at all, but if I tried to assign them meaning I could probably drive myself crazy.

I agree with the others that those kind of dreams don't mean squat, unless you give them meaning and dwell on them.

Although I have toilet dreams too....about horribly gross toilets that I am trying and trying to clean up but can never get clean.... That seems pretty self-explanatory though! I always feel really overwhelmed and incompetent in those, and tend to have them when I am stressed with too much activity! You know, dealing with a lot of....well, you know! :)


Actually, I do agree with your point on driving herself crazy..she shouldn't dwell on the dreams. I agree. LOL! :laugh:

.

#30 HoppyTheToad

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:23 PM

Thanks for your advice everyone. It comforts me to know that these kinds of dreams are common. I will try to not dwell on them.
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#31 ktgrok

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:54 PM

Ha! I have toilet dreams. I have to go and can't find a toilet anywhere that is clean and has a closing door for privacy. When I think things are safe, people walk in on me. I've seen some extraordinarily gross toilets in my dreams. I wonder what that means.



I have that dream too! All the time. So weird.

And a few times I've dreamt that although I'm in love with my dh, I'm actually still married to ex dh. UGH. In these I'm legally trapped and supposed to live with ex dh, and it is just awful.

#32 ktgrok

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:57 PM

I had the most ridiculous nightmare a few months ago. In the dream, I was at a restaurant with my family and parents. I looked down at the table and realized that Tigger had died during the meal and none of us had noticed, except Tigger was not a person but a packet of sugar! I woke up extremely sad about my "sweet" child being dead.

Now DH and I get a lot of laughs out of it.


I'm your dream twin! I have those kinds of dreams a LOT. I'll start explaining what I dreamt to someone and then realize how bizarre it really was. An early one that stands out was when I dreamt that the teenage ninja mutant turtles were attacking me in a swimming pool, but if you sprinkled them with parmesan cheese they would disappear.
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#33 Garga

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:02 PM

I get the gross toilet dream when I have to go to the bathroom really badly. I think those dreams are our brain's way of making sure we don't wet the bed.

#34 Dandelion

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:16 PM

I think the truism "What you resist persists" applies here. The more you try to resist these dreams (by allowing them to disturb you, trying to analyze why you're having them, etc.), the more they will persist. Once you just accept them for what they are - dreams that you can't control and don't need to feel guilty about - I imagine that they'll subside.

Something else that has worked for me is to go to sleep thinking about an idea I want to further develop, or a problem I want to solve. That seems to give my mind something productive to grapple with during the night. I often wake up with new insights and having had no unpleasant dreams. By all means, don't go to sleep thinking "I don't want to have those dreams tonight" - because that pretty much guarantees that you'll have them. ;) It's like that "try not to think about a white bear" psychological experiment. It's impossible to suppress our thoughts, and once we start focusing on what we don't want to think about, we can't seem to get away from it.
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#35 lovemykids

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Posted 09 February 2013 - 11:18 PM

I get the gross toilet dream when I have to go to the bathroom really badly. I think those dreams are our brain's way of making sure we don't wet the bed.



I have never had the gross toilet dream..what does that mean? :001_unsure:

LOL


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