Children and the culture of p8rnography (article)

[I.Dup.]

This makes me so angry and sad. I thought things were bad when I was a teen, but we didn't even have cell phones and facebook. What on earth can be done to help our kids through this mess? :crying: :cursing:

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/9828589/Children-and-the-culture-of-pornography-Boys-will-ask-you-every-day-until-you-say-yes.html

[fairfarmhand]

I'm with you. Totally sickened for the world in which my little girls will grow up.

[goldberry]

This is so sad, I absolutely agree. My husband said it was bad enough when he was young and he and his brothers would steal a look at a Playboy. Now, the things that are out there are beyond twisted and totally abnormal. (Not that Playboy is "normal" but compared to some things it is!)

 

No matter how much we protect them, there is no way they won't be exposed to it eventually. And once they see those things, how can it ever get out of their brains?

[I.Dup.]

No matter how much we protect them, there is no way they won't be exposed to it eventually. And once they see those things, how can it ever get out of their brains?

 

 

My ONLY hope and prayer is to keep them away from it for as long as possible. I hope the more mature brain can process it differently, or something. :(

[Laura Corin]

I know a young man who is so disgusted by the conversations he hears at at school at lunchtime amongst his male peers (misogyny, homophobia) that he hides away and studies on his own rather than spend time with anyone beyond one or two trusted friends.

 

Laura

[Joker]

I talk to my girls a lot about peer pressure, and we've always talked with them and pointed out things we see in regards to the sexualization that's going on, especially with young girls. They seem to get it so far, I think. After the halftime show of the Superbowl my teenage dd said she thought it was sad they could find so many women who would dress and dance like that on tv for money. She even talked yesterday about how many kids at school thought it was awesome. She said it made her sad that it's considered normal. I know many who have no problem with that sort of thing and this isn't a slam if you like it, but it does bother dd and she notices and usually says something to just us about those types of things. We also talk a lot about her future, what she wants, and the best way to achieve her goals (and the ways she can ruin or hinder them).

 

What really bothers me is how many parents I see around here that seem to push their girls to grow up so soon. They go crazy in regards to fashion, hair, makeup, and parties. It seems they really want their kids to be 'popular' and will do whatever it takes. I've talked a lot with dds about finding real friends and not worrying so much about the popularity thing because outside of middle/high school it just doesn't matter.

[I.Dup.]

What really bothers me is how many parents I see around here that seem to push their girls to grow up so soon. They go crazy in regards to fashion, hair, makeup, and parties. It seems they really want their kids to be 'popular' and will do whatever it takes. I've talked a lot with dds about finding real friends and not worrying so much about the popularity thing because outside of middle/high school it just doesn't matter.

 

I agree. I see the same thing, and it totally baffles me.

[justamouse]

We sell children and women in media as sexual objects and we call it feminism--because it sells product. We have no regard for human dignity. It starts there.

[6packofun]

It sickens me that there is little or no recourse for GIRLS in schools against what would be considered SEXUAL HARASSMENT in the workplace. (I'm sure there is harassment against boys, too.) Why are our children not entitled to learn and be kids without this kind of crap?? The aggressors should be *punished* for not backing off when asked to. And it's appalling how many *parents* brush it off as kids being kids.

[I.Dup.]

We have no regard for human dignity. It starts there.

 

 

Totally agree. None of my boys have reached puberty yet, but I hope talking to them about the dignity of women and the things they go through when they are so sexualized (we haven't started these conversations YET) but I hope that will help them keep a handle on their hormones. I have no idea how bad hormones get with teen boys but from what dh says they are pretty overpowering. :(

[fairfarmhand]

 

Totally agree. None of my boys have reached puberty yet, but I hope talking to them about the dignity of women and the things they go through when they are so sexualized (we haven't started these conversations YET) but I hope that will help them keep a handle on their hormones. I have no idea how bad hormones get with teen boys but from what dh says they are pretty overpowering. :(

 

My dh says the same. He said his saving grace when he was a teen boy was that he played ball for hours each day and his dad made him work hard on chores. I guess many boys don't have those physical outlets?

 

Also, I don't expect my son to act like a bull in a field just because he is male. I expect him to retain self-control and he doesn't get a free pass because he has testosterone. I am sick to death of the "boys will be boys attitude." My dh controls his thoughts and tries to keep a handle on what his eyes see. I expect my son to do the same.

[nmoira]

We sell children and women in media as sexual objects and we call it feminism--because it sells product. We have no regard for human dignity. It starts there.

 

 

I agree with the bolded, but who is "we"? The pictures in Sports Illustrated (Swimsuit edition), Maxim, etc. aren't typically labeled as feminist propaganda. I see no shame in female sexuality, even when it's "out there," but mainstream media and advertising industry, from the MPAA ratings board to Billboards in your town don't show women in a position of power or even real pleasure wrt their sexuality (the MPAA will slap an NC17 on it faster than you can say Blue Valentine), except as carefully posed and framed to be appealing to men. But I don't think it starts there... with the kids in the article.

 

This, with the most vulnerable children, is about power, coercion, about wanting to belong, about desperation. I'm not convinced that society is the problem so much as that we now have a tool that allows adults to see the evidence that kids have sex, even for what I would consider to be the worst reasons, and that some kids are jerks.

 

From the article:

 

However, it is important to say that children may be telling the truth if they insist they have never come across it. Estimates of those affected range from 15 to 40 per cent of pupils, depending on where you are. And when I speak to Claire Perry, she admits: “The answer is we don’t know. I think it is a growing problem. My sense is that even in the nicest, leafiest part of the country, this is something that children are doing.â€

[TravelingChris]

My dd is in youth leadership at the youth group in church. She has most of the girls on her facebook friends since she is supposed to be mentoring them. The vast majority are acting normal and nothing bad is happening. But one girl is not and I have discussed it with her and she is going to talk with the adult female in leadership roles in the group as to whether one of them wants to talk with this girl.

 

Here is the situation. This girl is in 9th grade and apparently is bullied in school because she is fat. At first, my dd liked her but her facebook posts are totally inappropriate and dd is now very concerned. This girl is posting very vulgar and provacative questions and suggestions. As far as I know, there have been no photos on facebook. BUt, her questions are the type that will lead guys to think that she is willing to have sex with anyone and we think can lead to very bad consequences. Our church just had their biannual healthy relationships class and as dd said, unfortunately, most if not all of the girls there were the ones who didn't really need the class because they have a healthy respect for themselves and a vision for the future. This girl, who did need it, didn't attend. I was happy that my dd did bring up herself as to how anything you put up in the internet can be pulled up again which she thinks this girl doesn't realize.

[Kathryn]

After the halftime show of the Superbowl my teenage dd said she thought it was sad they could find so many women who would dress and dance like that on tv for money. She even talked yesterday about how many kids at school thought it was awesome. She said it made her sad that it's considered normal.

 

 

We sell children and women in media as sexual objects and we call it feminism--because it sells product. We have no regard for human dignity. It starts there.

 

 

I just saw a few seconds of the halftime show before changing it because my boys were in the room. Someone posted this on Facebook and I was absolutely disgusted that someone could possibly walk away from viewing that and call it empowering and not about sex: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davidhenson/2013/02/a-prophetic-dance-of-power-not-sex-beyonce-the-super-bowl-and-durga/

[ChocolateReignRemix]

We sell children and women in media as sexual objects and we call it feminism--because it sells product. We have no regard for human dignity. It starts there.

 

 

Can you please explain why you believe feminism involves selling children and women in the media as sexual objects? It is quite the opposite.

[jillian]

Sex is an amazing experience and should be treated as such not something that is sold to the highest bidder. I'm doing research on teen sexuality for work and it is amazing to see how many teens don't think oral or a*nal sex is sex. It's amazing how many teen girls think they need to be "sexy" at younger and younger ages. It worrie me. We have open communication with dd and if we have other kids the same thing will be subjected to the same---talk, normalizing their bodies and letting them know the practicalities of sex including the emotional consequences.

[aggieamy]

We sell children and women in media as sexual objects and we call it feminism--because it sells product. We have no regard for human dignity. It starts there.

 

I don't see how this is labeled as feminism. Can you give an example? I see feminism as strong women wanting equal rights. I don't classify it all with s*x. In fact the gals in my group of friends that would label themselves as feminists are very conservative with respect to the way they dress and act. Self-confident people don't need to attract people by being s*xy and that is something I'm trying to teach DD.

[Catwoman]

I think we also need to remember that it's not just sweet, innocent girls being corrupted by p*rn-addicted hormone-crazed boys. In many cases, it's the girls who are doing the pursuing, and who are texting the boys to tell them in great detail what they'd like to do to them when they're alone. I was shocked when an acquaintance told me what kinds of phone calls and texts her 13yo son was getting from the girls in his class at school. They're in middle school! :eek:

 

Reason #4969486 why I'm glad we homeschool. (Hey, I know stuff happens with homeschoolers, too, but the daily exposure to this stuff isn't there for my ds right now.)

[justamouse]

I agree with the bolded, but who is "we"? The pictures in Sports Illustrated (Swimsuit edition), Maxim, etc. aren't typically labeled as feminist propaganda. I see no shame in female sexuality, even when it's "out there," but mainstream media and advertising industry, from the MPAA ratings board to Billboards in your town don't show women in a position of power or even real pleasure wrt their sexuality (the MPAA will slap an NC17 on it faster than you can say Blue Valentine), except as carefully posed and framed to be appealing to men. But I don't think it starts there... with the kids in the article.

 

This, with the most vulnerable children, is about power, coercion, about wanting to belong, about desperation. I'm not convinced that society is the problem so much as that we now have a tool that allows adults to see the evidence that kids have sex, even for what I would consider to be the worst reasons, and that some kids are jerks.

 

From the article:

 

I don't fully agree. Hilary is pretty out there as a woman of power, and she's not got a NC-17 rating slapped on her. Condi...there are a few examples. Frankly, I don't want to see any of them embracing their sexuality publicly. :D I'm ok with that aspect of their humanity being private.

 

But, take the Abercrombie padded bra/bikini episode for the little girls. The Beauty Pageants for little girls. The Pink campaign is another instance. The almost nothing worn by dance troupes whose dances consist of gyrating hips simulating sexual acts. (Militant?) Feminists believe that this all is somehow empowering women, that they are embracing their sexuality. If you say anything against this idea, that you can be both sexual AND not sexualized...well, go try posting that idea on a feminist blog.

[justamouse]

I think we also need to remember that it's not just sweet, innocent girls being corrupted by p*rn-addicted hormone-crazed boys. In many cases, it's the girls who are doing the pursuing, and who are texting the boys to tell them in great detail what they'd like to do to them when they're alone. I was shocked when an acquaintance told me what kinds of phone calls and texts her 13yo son was getting from the girls in his class at school. They're in middle school! :eek:

 

Reason #4969486 why I'm glad we homeschool. (Hey, I know stuff happens with homeschoolers, too, but the daily exposure to this stuff isn't there for my ds right now.)

 

That happened to my neighbor. SHE sent the boy the text, he got in trouble. Bad news all around. The cops were involved, lawyers, it was a nightmare.

 

Too much freedom for kids with little self control or the understanding of the long term ramifications of their actions.

[justamouse]

I don't see how this is labeled as feminism. Can you give an example? I see feminism as strong women wanting equal rights. I don't classify it all with s*x. In fact the gals in my group of friends that would label themselves as feminists are very conservative with respect to the way they dress and act. Self-confident people don't need to attract people by being s*xy and that is something I'm trying to teach DD.

 

I would call myself a feminist. I am in NO WAY advocating that sickening patriarchy stuff. But read some feminist blogs. They're quite polarizing.

[nmoira]

I don't fully agree. Hilary is pretty out there as a woman of power, and she's not got a NC-17 rating slapped on her. Condi...there are a few examples. Frankly, I don't want to see any of them embracing their sexuality publicly. :D I'm ok with that aspect of their humanity being private.

 

My sentence began: "I see no shame in female sexuality," not in "I see no shame in being female." Yours is a different discussion... worth having, but different. :)

[justamouse]

I just saw a few seconds of the halftime show before changing it because my boys were in the room. Someone posted this on Facebook and I was absolutely disgusted that someone could possibly walk away from viewing that and call it empowering and not about sex: http://www.patheos.c...bowl-and-durga/

 

Especially the part where she licked her finger and drug it down her body. No, not about sex at all.... *eyeroll*

 

 

We're getting off topic, though...

[justamouse]

My sentence began: "I see no shame in female sexuality," not in "I see no shame in being female." Yours is a different discussion... worth having, but different. :)

 

 

You said 'out there'--I took that to mean commercially?

[nmoira]

 

You said 'out there'--I took that to mean commercially?

 

 

Ah, I mean sexuality being "out there" to be seen, on display if you will, as opposed to hidden/private, not people who are "out there."

[Lisa R.]

When I read articles like this, I feel like I live under a rock. It is so far removed from anything I ever experienced or heard about anyone experiencing when I was in high school.

 

Disclaimer: Ignorance shown below

 

I do hear about things like this from time to time and wonder naively wonder how widespread it is. In other words, is this problem more widespread in some schools than others? Is this problem evident in most circles but in lower percentages than others? I've asked one teen who is now in college what it was like at the home school classes he attended. He said sexting wasn't an issue there, but was present at his workplace with the teens.

 

I also think that most of the parents of the girls and boys who are engaging in these activities would be shocked to find out what their kids are doing. I think there is the idea that we know kids are out there doing things they shouldn't do, but that they are *other* people's kids. But someone's daughter is sending inappropriate pictures. Someone's son is spreading these pictures around to his friends. We'd all like to think it is kids that we don't know and that our kids wouldn't want to be friends with.

 

Is there just massive unsupervision (not I word, I know) going on?

 

I do tend to think that the kids are way ahead on the curve with technology and this has contributed to parents not having the oversight they should.

[4kidlets4me]

I don't agree with this article at all. Women as sex objects is nothing new and IMHO has very little to do with boys wanting oral sex, sexting, etc. Teen boys will always have a one track mind and always have. The thing that has changed is parenting or a lack of parenting.

 

"It starts young, with pencil cases that carry the Playboy bunny logo and Bratz dolls that look like they have just finished a shift at a strip joint. High-heeled shoes are sold to girls at the age of eight, along with knickers bearing slogans that on an adult would be meant to sound saucy"

 

Um who is buying all this crap. Why parents would think any of this is cute is beyond me but none of that gets brought into this house. My kids do not have Facebook, Twitter, unrestricted access to internet, cell phones. I prescreen every movie, video game, and song. We don't have cable and my kids haven't seen a commercial in ages.

 

It's up to parents to make sure their kids aren't put into situations they aren't mature enough to handle.

 

I think parents need to be more involved in what their kids are doing on social media, the internet, movies they are watching etc. Sexting should be a topic of conversation when a kid gets a cell phone, kids shouldn't have their own tv's with 100's of cable stations, their own computers to use for whatever they decide etc.

 

In other words parents need to actually parent their kids.

[unsinkable]

I know a young man who is so disgusted by the conversations he hears at at school at lunchtime amongst his male peers (misogyny, homophobia) that he hides away and studies on his own rather than spend time with anyone beyond one or two trusted friends.

 

Laura

 

 

My son was like this when he was younger... I told one of the priests at his school that the lunch table talk needed to be addressed and it was. It got better.

[Catwoman]

 

Especially the part where she licked her finger and drug it down her body. No, not about sex at all.... *eyeroll*

 

 

We're getting off topic, though...

 

 

Honestly, when I read articles that are raving about the incredibly great halftime show, I keep wondering if I was watching a different performer. All I saw was Beyonce doing a bunch of old Janet Jackson dance moves and trying to act super-sexy. Those little winks and pouts and repetitive stripper moves became tedious pretty quickly.

 

I guess I must be getting old.

[aggieamy]

I don't agree with this article at all. Women as sex objects is nothing new and IMHO has very little to do with boys wanting oral sex, sexting, etc. Teen boys will always have a one track mind and always have. The thing that has changed is parenting or a lack of parenting.

 

"It starts young, with pencil cases that carry the Playboy bunny logo and Bratz dolls that look like they have just finished a shift at a strip joint. High-heeled shoes are sold to girls at the age of eight, along with knickers bearing slogans that on an adult would be meant to sound saucy"

 

Um who is buying all this crap. Why parents would think any of this is cute is beyond me but none of that gets brought into this house. My kids do not have Facebook, Twitter, unrestricted access to internet, cell phones. I prescreen every movie, video game, and song. We don't have cable and my kids haven't seen a commercial in ages.

 

It's up to parents to make sure their kids aren't put into situations they aren't mature enough to handle.

 

I think parents need to be more involved in what their kids are doing on social media, the internet, movies they are watching etc. Sexting should be a topic of conversation when a kid gets a cell phone, kids shouldn't have their own tv's with 100's of cable stations, their own computers to use for whatever they decide etc.

 

In other words parents need to actually parent their kids.

 

 

Oh Yeah! What she said. Be involved HEAVILY in your kids lives. Be their number one go-to person for questions. Know what they are doing.

 

Disclaimer - I've got an easy to parent 8 yo little girl. Maybe check back with me in 10 years and see if I'm still so self-rightous.

[jillian]

There is certainly a cultural aspect, I have seen it in certain groups more than others, just in my experience among middle to upper class suburban white teens. There is also a certain aspect of "the kids are alone in the afternoons" because both parents work. Also many parents don't even guard the internet access from their children. Many children also know how to "hack" internet safety procedures. There are many cases of teens/preteens who don't think that sexting or sexual acts (not sex but leading up to--oral, or even anal sex) are inappropriate.

 

Eta: I agree, be involved in your kid's lives. Unfortunately it's not always so easy for a lot of parents. Many families have a situation where both parents need to work to make ends meet, or they have to have their child stay after school until they get off work.

[TravelingChris]

My dd was telling me a few weeks ago, how much she likes being in the homeschool co-op. All the high school and middle school kids there don't have peer pressure to have boyfriends or girlfriends. Yes, some do but everyone understands that different parents have different rules and that different kids have different priorities. That is totally different from what she hears happens at the public schools. It appears that you often get labeled as a nobody if you aren't with a bf or gf. This is way different than when I was in high school or when dh was. Anyway, she is much happier with the atmosphere with homeschooling. Apparently some ps kids like it too because there have been several ps kids who joined the almost exclusively homeschooled Venture Crew and really like it.

 

So not all kids do this and therefore the kids who are aghast at this kind of behavior are not the kids who need the stringent supervision. You know your own kids. I am not suggesting that everyone think of their child as an angel. But it was my dd who told me about the inappropriate posts the other girl was making. (Oh and I do have access to her facebook but am not constantly reading it). Since she gave me the tiny lecture of how stupid the behavior was, I am not worried that she will exhibit it. Not all kids have the same vices that allure them.

[justamouse]

Teen boys will always have a one track mind and always have.

 

I pretty much agree with your post, but I don't think this is true--I think this belief is just as demeaning to men and reduces them to animals with no self control.

 

But parenting and teaching self control in all things? Yeah, I can get behind that.

[hillfarm]

First let me say that we are evangelical Christians and have a clear blueprint for what is sexually appropriate for our family.

 

That said, it bothers me that there has become such a disconnect between normal, healthy sexual activity between consenting partners and this hideous, abusive, perverted thing that sex has become for so many.

 

It seems to be about a lot more than intercourse these days. Humiliation and degradation seem to be constant threads interwoven in so many of these anecdotes. It seems that not only has sex been separated from love, it has now also been separated from any vestige of respect. And in the absence of respect, so many ugly traits have been attached. Sexting isn't about saying how much one loves the other - it is about pushing someone to do that which they know is risky. Do this to PROVE you are willing to make me happy. It's about domination and control, or if initiated by the photographed, about desperation.

 

The obsession with porn seems to me to be more of an obsession with the short term thrill of the moment. Scratching an itch because it feels good, with no thought about the scars that may be created by such activity. IMO, because so few of these kids have ever seen a strong, fulfilled, loving relationship based on fidelity and self control, they have no idea of what they are scarring up with their adolescent behavior. Our media glorifies the short term hook up, elevates lust much more than love. It seems that the antismoking campaign has done a good job of informing teens that while smoking cigarettes may be fun now, lung cancer is waiting around the corner. Perhaps if we could help teens see that cheap sexual thrills may be fun now, but they can have a serious impact on their ability to enjoy healthy, sustaining sexual relationships in later life. IMO, most kids are smart enough to grasp the concept of delayed gratification and to act upon it if they are educated to perceive that the end is worth waiting for.

 

These poor kids. They are novices, amateurs, and they don't even know it. They have no clue that the relationships through which they are seeking fulfillment are such poor imitations of the real thing. They mimic the behaviors they see in the media and wonder why they still don't feel satisfied or loved. Sexual images purveyed by the media may temporarily excite, but can't sustain you through troubled times. Perhaps if we as adults can teach them (remembering that actions speak much more loudly than words) to see how incredibly good a real relationship can be, they can be tempted to wait until a real one comes along.

 

I have told my 14yo dd that I can't imagine what it must be like to be her age in this society. We have talked often about why I believe that our religious restrictions are there to keep us safe, physically, spiritually and emotionally. How sad for all those teens who are running so hard after shiny things that are all veneer with no substance. How empty they must feel.

[I.Dup.]

It seems that not only has sex been separated from love, it has now also been separated from any vestige of respect.

 

Exactly. I wonder why so many men find this kind of humiliating, degrading sex attractive? That is the kind of sex p8rn sells and we all know that p8rn is a multi-billion dollar business and it's only getting worse. If they didn't like it, it would be selling. Why must sex humiliate and dominate women? That is the issue behind here, and what our girls are growing up against (and our boys are being taught through p8rn). WHY????

 

I don't think the biggest, most offensive issue with p8rn is that it is lascivious or immodest. I think it's about the blatant disregard and disrespect it shows for women and human beings. :(

[Lisa R.]

 

 

My kids do not have Facebook, Twitter, unrestricted access to internet, cell phones. I prescreen every movie, video game, and song. We don't have cable and my kids haven't seen a commercial in ages.

 

 

In other words parents need to actually parent their kids.

 

When we hear about the youth culture in acticles like these, we need to choose how we respond. I think it is possible to underreact or overreact.

 

To underreact could mean ignoring the issue because we are sure this article refers somehow to kids in other areas with some sort of disadvantaged background out kids don't have.

 

I'm wondering if your position could be one of overreacting. While technology has its pitfalls, it is possible to use it wisely. I think there are new and different dangers when parents try and control their kids environment to the extent you mention above. Hopefully we can train our kids to use discernment to make these choices themselves. If we always make those decisions for them ahead of time, we don't allow them this opportunity.

[justamouse]

Here's another headline from today

 

"Sexual Encounters an "Everyday Thing" in California Preschool"

 

 

Sexual encounters between 4- and 5-year-old students were allegedly an "everyday thing" at a private California preschool that is closing its doors after coming under attack for a lack of supervision, the mother of a 5-year-old former student said.

 

"It's unfathomable on so many levels. For one, that it actually happened. For two, where it happened. For three, how often something happened," the mother of the girl

told ABC-owned station in Los Angeles KABC-TV in an exclusive interview.

 

Some students in the preschool class at the First Lutheran Church of Carson School in Carson, Calif., would engage in oral sex during nap time, in the tunnel slide on the playground and in an outside bathroom, attorney Greg Owen told ABCNews.com.

 

 

 

 

Seriously? Seriously? My head just exploded.

[aggieamy]

Here's another headline from today

 

"Sexual Encounters an "Everyday Thing" in California Preschool"

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously? Seriously? My head just exploded.

 

There has got to be more to that story because it doesn't make sense that kids that age would have any concept of how to even do that.

[hillfarm]

My BIL is an elementary school teacher. He said they had to post teachers in the KINDERGARTEN restrooms during breaks to prevent this very thing from happening. That was 2 or 3 years ago. He felt it was due to what they were seeing at home on television.

[magnificent_baby]

We sell children and women in media as sexual objects and we call it feminism--because it sells product. We have no regard for human dignity. It starts there.

 

Couldn't agree with you more.

 

It saddens me how it has already affected my very young boys. They snicker at female body parts and toss around words like s#xy, b88bs, etc. We have been SO overprotective of what they see and hear, so I don't know how it happened nor how to handle it.

[justamouse]

My BIL is an elementary school teacher. He said they had to post teachers in the KINDERGARTEN restrooms during breaks to prevent this very thing from happening. That was 2 or 3 years ago. He felt it was due to what they were seeing at home on television.

 

I'm speechless.

 

I am such an ostrich. Really, I must be, because this just leaves me so dumbfounded and so deeply sad. I mean, I know it's bad, but I had no idea that it was this bad.

[Parrothead]

There has got to be more to that story because it doesn't make sense that kids that age would have any concept of how to even do that.

Sure they would. Big brother or sister could have told/shown the little kids. They could have stumbled across it online. They could have stumbled across it on pay-TV. They could have on purpose been shown. They could have had it done to them by someone. It is all too easy to see/watch someone having sex today.

[ktgrok]

I think we also need to remember that it's not just sweet, innocent girls being corrupted by p*rn-addicted hormone-crazed boys. In many cases, it's the girls who are doing the pursuing, and who are texting the boys to tell them in great detail what they'd like to do to them when they're alone. I was shocked when an acquaintance told me what kinds of phone calls and texts her 13yo son was getting from the girls in his class at school. They're in middle school! :eek:

 

Reason #4969486 why I'm glad we homeschool. (Hey, I know stuff happens with homeschoolers, too, but the daily exposure to this stuff isn't there for my ds right now.)

 

My sister is a vice principal at a highschool. She has so so so many times confiscated phones that had naked pictures on them. The girls send these pictures to the boys. Then the boys get in trouble. She actually was painting it as if the boys are the problem! I told her I appreciated her concern and would make sure my son was warned about how predatory the girls in highschool can be. But yes, boys get the blame.

[Catwoman]

 

I'm speechless.

 

I am such an ostrich. Really, I must be, because this just leaves me so dumbfounded and so deeply sad. I mean, I know it's bad, but I had no idea that it was this bad.

 

I still can't help but wonder if this stuff is being overstated in the media, because all of the 5yos we know still seem like innocent little kids to me.

 

I'm not saying that this sort of thing doesn't exist, but I don't believe it's happening in every preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school classroom or rest room. At least I sure hope it's not.

 

That said, I find it absolutely horrifying that it's happening in ANY preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school classroom or rest room. I thought it was awful when I heard about it in the middle schools, but the idea that even younger kids are already having forms of s*x is beyond words. :(

[Laura Corin]

 

Couldn't agree with you more.

 

It saddens me how it has already affected my very young boys. They snicker at female body parts and toss around words like s#xy, b88bs, etc. We have been SO overprotective of what they see and hear, so I don't know how it happened nor how to handle it.

 

FWIW, I remember my brothers in the 1970s giggling over words like 'boobies'. They had heard the words in the playground and laughed along with others without it being a symptom of any more worrying phenomenon.

 

Laura

[Catwoman]

FWIW, I remember my brothers in the 1970s giggling over words like 'boobies'. They had heard the words in the playground and laughed along with others without it being a symptom of any more worrying phenomenon.

 

Laura

 

:iagree:

 

Giggling over a few choice words is pretty routine stuff -- and back in the 70's, I'm not even sure half of those boys even really knew what they were giggling about; they just thought they were being cool and naughty. I'm concerned about the actual actions that seem to be taking place today, because when we were little kids, we truly didn't have a clue about any of it.

[Joker]

:iagree:

 

Giggling over a few choice words is pretty routine stuff -- and back in the 70's, I'm not even sure half of those boys even really knew what they were giggling about; they just thought they were being cool and naughty. I'm concerned about the actual actions that seem to be taking place today, because when we were little kids, we truly didn't have a clue about any of it.

 

My older brother was caught playing 'doctor' when he was just a little guy. Him and a girl whose family we were friends with were found laying on top of each other giving closed mouth kisses. They saw it somewhere and decided to try it. I've often heard of kids playing some form of 'doctor' and experimenting. Maybe the difference is supervision. When my parents noticed my brother and our friend were gone together all the parents went looking. They weren't able to get into trouble, but they did get a lecture. :tongue_smilie: A lot of kids today just seem to be on their own.

[Χά�ων]

If nothing else I think I will increase my discussions with DS about respecting himself and women.

[hillfarm]

I still can't help but wonder if this stuff is being overstated in the media, because all of the 5yos we know still seem like innocent little kids to me.

 

I'm not saying that this sort of thing doesn't exist, but I don't believe it's happening in every preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school classroom or rest room. At least I sure hope it's not.

 

That said, I find it absolutely horrifying that it's happening in ANY preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school classroom or rest room. I thought it was awful when I heard about it in the middle schools, but the idea that even younger kids are already having forms of s*x is beyond words. :(

 

 

I know what you mean, but my source of information was my own BIL, who works in a fairly average public school in the 5th largest city in his state in the midwest. He wasn't making it up to scandalize me. The conversation got started when I asked him how much break time he had in his school day. He was actually lamenting the fact that now he would have to spend some of that time keeping the K kids from having sex in the bathroom. He wasn't complaining or trying to overstate anything. So far as I know, the situation in his school was never reported in the media.

 

I myself have been horrified at how often I have heard the parents of young children say that they can watch whatever they want on tv because the kids are still too young to understand it. You have got to be kidding me! Kids pick up on so much of what is on tv, regardless of whether they understand it.

 

I don't really know much about the sexual appetites of kindergarteners, but IIRC my own K level desires, sex wasn't even on my radar. Kids are not born this way and I don't believe our biology has changed that much. This is all societal. It scares me to death to realize that my child may well be socialized by not only what we do in our family, but by what all her peers do in all their families also.

 

So unless you are with them 24/7, they WILL probably be exposed. If you want them to hear it in a healthy, age appropriate way first, then you had better step up and make sure they hear it from you first. Because you are not going to be able to control what little Jimmy's visiting cousin who goes to public school might tell him and them during a break at Sunday School or kid soccer at the Y.

 

If you don't want them to participate, then you are going to have to figure out how to walk that fine line of telling them what consititutes sex and that you don't want them doing it while they're young, and doing that in a way that doesn't ruin them for a happy married life. Sheesh. I thought it was hard to get the message across to my now 14yo. At least it is age appropriate for me to discuss it with her.

[jillian]

 

 

My older brother was caught playing 'doctor' when he was just a little guy. Him and a girl whose family we were friends with were found laying on top of each other giving closed mouth kisses. They saw it somewhere and decided to try it. I've often heard of kids playing some form of 'doctor' and experimenting. Maybe the difference is supervision. When my parents noticed my brother and our friend were gone together all the parents went looking. They weren't able to get into trouble, but they did get a lecture. :tongue_smilie: A lot of kids today just seem to be on their own.

 

Kids playing doctor is actually very normal among the under 6 group and isn't meant to be sexual in the way we think of it. But I agree it's how it's handled makes all the difference.