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UU people- OWL?


NotSoObvious
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Mainly that I think my girls are too young for much of "It's perfectly Normal," I'm not comfortable with them talking to a church group about most of the topics listed in the table of contents, and they really just aren't ready. They are very young for their grade and pretty naive for their age. We also have a unique situation which I can't get into on here that makes this not so black and white for us.

 

Our 6-8 grade OWL group had a lock in (we don't even do real sleepovers yet) and they watched Juno, which would not be NOT ok with us.

 

Hmm. So maybe it's just our personal situation. I think we may just be too conservative (in this area) for the program, and possibly the church.

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It sounds like here they are incorporating it into the regular Sunday RE classes. Is this what your church did? Were your kids the only ones who didn't participate? Was it a big deal? What did they do instead?

 

 

I would be really surprised if they were able to do owl during the regular RE class. You have to have extensive parental permission and parents have to attend the information session. Only teachers who have been extensively trained to teach a particular level of OWL can implement the program. I sit on our RE committee and I am just not seeing how this would be feasible. What are their plans for visiting children?

 

My own children have not thus far participated in owl and it is not an issue at all, but I do think it is a very good program. Our church has an opt in night time class so those who don't participate just don't go.

 

GL

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My experience teaching girls' middle school health is that girls this age are just curious and have a lot more questions than they let on - even the sweet, innocent ones who aren't thinking about doing anything s*xual yet. In fact, that's the *best* time to talk about this stuff - *before* they start really considering anything because that's when they're most impressionable - and I mean that in a good way - you can mold them more clearly to think about their choices and emotions.

 

Rivka should chime in - she's the expert, I think.

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My experience teaching girls' middle school health is that girls this age are just curious and have a lot more questions than they let on - even the sweet, innocent ones who aren't thinking about doing anything s*xual yet. In fact, that's the *best* time to talk about this stuff - *before* they start really considering anything because that's when they're most impressionable - and I mean that in a good way - you can mold them more clearly to think about their choices and emotions.

 

Rivka should chime in - she's the expert, I think.

 

:iagree:
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I haven't taught OWL, but we are UU and have spoken to leaders and know many kids who go through it. At our church, it's not through RE and kids are typically 8th graders. I'm actually pretty impressed with the materials and the approach, and I'm glad it's available for my kids. Although, my older won't be old enough for 2 years yet.

 

But, as a parent, if it doesn't feel right for your kids, it's probably not right for you or for them. I think sometimes you do need to listen to your gut. I hope Rivka does weigh in!

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My experience teaching girls' middle school health is that girls this age are just curious and have a lot more questions than they let on - even the sweet, innocent ones who aren't thinking about doing anything s*xual yet. In fact, that's the *best* time to talk about this stuff - *before* they start really considering anything because that's when they're most impressionable - and I mean that in a good way - you can mold them more clearly to think about their choices and emotions.

 

Rivka should chime in - she's the expert, I think.

 

 

I agree 100%. I just am not comfortable with it happening outside our home. Yet!

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Our church does 2-session mini-owl classes. Sometimes they are evenings and sometimes they are in class. My kids really loved them. My daughter was esp struck by how different the OWL class she took at church was from the s*x-ed class she took at school was. the school teacher started the class by saying that if you have premarital sx you wont have a happy family like she does. They also teach that condoms arent effective. My daughter tried to enlighten her classmates about the much better information she was getting at church, and they were all horrified that such things were discussed in church.

 

truthfully, tho, i guess we've only done the high school ones. My feeling is . . its just life. its biology and its information that could come in really useful some day. it shouldnt be upsetting. but really, you should let the instructors know you are uncomfortable and have a discussion with them.

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Our church does 2-session mini-owl classes. Sometimes they are evenings and sometimes they are in class. My kids really loved them. My daughter was esp struck by how different the OWL class she took at church was from the s*x-ed class she took at school was. the school teacher started the class by saying that if you have premarital sx you wont have a happy family like she does. They also teach that condoms arent effective. My daughter tried to enlighten her classmates about the much better information she was getting at church, and they were all horrified that such things were discussed in church.

 

truthfully, tho, i guess we've only done the high school ones. My feeling is . . its just life. its biology and its information that could come in really useful some day. it shouldnt be upsetting. but really, you should let the instructors know you are uncomfortable and have a discussion with them.

 

 

Oh, my!!!

 

Yeah, high school will be a different story. Maybe we'll just wait until then.

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OWL is designed for young children through adults and is more than just the nuts and bolts of s*x. Our UU church has OWL classes from 1st grade through high school kids and the topics vary in depth from age to age. We are offering a 7th-9th grade class starting in a couple of weeks and according to the instructors, this is one of the most critical ages to reach because the kids have information, misinformation, and changes are happeninng to their bodies. This is a perfect time to let them learn about and discuss these topics in a safe environment and with trained facilitators. Our church's program is not during regular RE, although for the 1st-2nd grade class, we do typically hold it during RE time on Sunday mornings in a different classroom for those participating. I think it's a wonderful program. My son went to it last year and really never said a word about it to us. I have found, however, that for the next few months he would ask something that he had obviously been mulling over. I imagine the same thing will happen with many kids of all ages.

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It sounds like here they are incorporating it into the regular Sunday RE classes. Is this what your church did? Were your kids the only ones who didn't participate? Was it a big deal? What did they do instead?

 

 

Well, we're a bit quirky anyway because we split our attendance so we're only at the UU church every other Sunday. Seventh grade is when the RE classes end and the kids transition into the adult service, so it hasn't been an issue for mine not to be part of the OWL class.

 

I really like many things about the OWL program, but we felt strongly that for our kids the video was not age appropriate.

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Well, we're a bit quirky anyway because we split our attendance so we're only at the UU church every other Sunday. Seventh grade is when the RE classes end and the kids transition into the adult service, so it hasn't been an issue for mine not to be part of the OWL class.

 

I really like many things about the OWL program, but we felt strongly that for our kids the video was not age appropriate.

 

 

Thank you! This is how I'm feeling. I guess we'll see.

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It actually looks like a really awesome program. Can non church members participate? Say, Episcopalians?

 

 

I might be misremembering, but I believe OWL was developed by UUs and Episcopalians working together. If it wasn't or if your Episcopal church doesn't have it, then I'd call the UU church. I would think ours would be completely open to that assuming there was space in the class.

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No, I'm pretty sure it was developed by the UCC and UU together. I'm a couple of years away from it, I think, since my oldest is only in third grade, though I do see something on the web site for 4th-6th graders. They use It's Perfectly Normal, which is a book I love, and that the kids have read parts of, although we're mostly still at the It's So Amazing Stage.

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I'm opting my 7th grade dd out of OWL this year. She is young for grade and it is terribly inconvenient- over half the meetings are at another UU church b/c ours is too small.

 

I'd do it for 8th but our church only offers it every other year.

 

My son did the program in 8th. Content was good, but sometimes the approach wasn't homeschool friendly. In one early exercise they are supposed to say slang terms for body parts, s*x, etc. my son was bullied a bit by one of the leaders b/c he didn't know many. The man thought that he wasn't participating. I wasn't happy about that. Our DRE spoke with the guy afterwards, but it was already done.

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I've had 2 kids go through our UU church's OWL program. I was not aware of the different permutations of the program, though. In our church, it is taught every other year to a mixed age 8th\9th grade group. I know one of the teachers, who has done it for 6 sessions, so far, so very experienced. I also looked at the materials, and I did not see anything that I didn't think a 14-15 yo was ready for yet. And I have a child who I am pretty sure was not clear on all the mechanics of se* before this class. But I am pretty direct about these topics. Unfortunately, my child did not share my directness and had trouble having these conversations with us parents. For him, it was easier to hear it in the class than to talk to us. For the other kid, it wasn't an issue, but I still think he benefitted from the class.

 

I think the way they handled questions (everyone puts a paper into a bowl, and if you have a question, you write it on the paper), was a very good way to allow anonymous questions and encourage kids to ask more questions without fear of embarrassment.

 

The class is NOT just about the mechanics and birth control though-although it covers that thoroughly. It is about helping kids to understand sexuality from an ethical and emotional perspective, before they are already sexually active. I thought it was very valuable, but I know my second child would not have been ready for it when he was in seventh grade, and he is old for his grade. Trust your instincts on this one.

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I would be really surprised if they were able to do owl during the regular RE class. You have to have extensive parental permission and parents have to attend the information session. Only teachers who have been extensively trained to teach a particular level of OWL can implement the program. I sit on our RE committee and I am just not seeing how this would be feasible. What are their plans for visiting children?

 

My own children have not thus far participated in owl and it is not an issue at all, but I do think it is a very good program. Our church has an opt in night time class so those who don't participate just don't go.

 

GL

 

we have our OWL incorporated into our ongoing OWL classes. We do have the parents orientation etc. We make it very clear that the kids are expected to attend all the classes etc. We have been doing it this way for years and years and it hasn't been an issue. Visiting parents get told that the class is closed to new comers for a few weeks. As an OWL teacher, I have done a couple one on one parent orientations to get their kid into the class. We tell parents that attendance is expected and if their child missed a certain number of classes she wouldn't be allowed to rejoin class until OWL is over. In the years I taught, only one parent attempted to flout that requirement (showed up after missing 6 weeks in a row) and my RE director backed me up on not permitting the child in the class until OWL was over. We only require orientation of parents who have not had a child go through OWL previously. We do require permission slips to be signed by both parents for all participants.

 

We did this in reaction to requests from parents. The first grade and middle grade OWL was always (as far back as we know) incorporated into the sunday RE classes. Each one is done for a number of weeks and has a firm beginning and end date. But the 8-9th OWL has gone in and out of being incorporated and being a separate evening class. For the past 8 or so years it has been incorporated into weekly RE. It is done on an ongoing basis for the 8th and 9th grade years. Some weeks are OWL weeks and some are not.

 

What we have found is that the parents of our church place a very high value on their child attending OWL, but find it difficult to make extra time in their weekly schedule for a separate class. When given the choice between committing to a separate class and coming every single Sunday morning, they almost always pick the Sunday morning.

 

In the time I have been teaching OWL, almost 13 years, I have never had a family not allow their child to participate. I have had lots of anxious parents, but by the time we got through orientation and I showed them all the materials, went over the whole thing, they have all felt relieved and happy to have their child participate. It doesn't mean that there haven't been families who disappeared during OWL and I just don't know about it. But my more common experience is to have families join the church in order to have their child participate in OWL. We always have a couple 'extra' kids in the 8-9th grade owl whose parents attended orientation, gave permission etc, but do not attend our church. Usually they are friends with a UU family and they send their kid along with their friend.

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This intrigues me. The whole UU church intrigues me but I'm just not ready to make a jump. The OWL program seems like it is precisely how we want to teach s3x education to our daughter. I want to keep this in my head for when it becomes the right time for us.

 

 

Well, the OWL program starts in our church with first graders, so don't wait too long, lol.

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OWL, and UU in general, is so very different depending on the specific UU fellowship you go to. More so than what I have seen in other religious groups, UU seem to be more autonomous. It is harder to compare the experience of one OWL program to another.

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OWL, and UU in general, is so very different depending on the specific UU fellowship you go to. More so than what I have seen in other religious groups, UU seem to be more autonomous. It is harder to compare the experience of one OWL program to another.

 

 

I would have to disagree with that. the OWL program is a written curriculum that requires teacher training etc. The whole point of the OWL program is that it shouldn't vary too much from church to church. Of course there are variations but they should not be major. The same basics are covered and the same materials are used. If they aren't then it is not the OWL program.

 

First grade mostly covers how babies start. But it is really about families and how they grow and change and all the different ways that people can be a family and all the different ways that children join families.

 

Middle school OWL is puberty. There are discussions about what it means to be a teenager, what it means to be a man or a woman. This is a big class for questions to be asked. Lots and lots of questions.

 

High School Owl is about giving scientifically accurate information about reproduction, contraception, STIs, but also (mostly) about decision making. What do you want for your future and why? What will help you get that? How do you make that happen? What is a good decision? What are good friends? Who will help you get what you want from life? How do we make ethical decisions and move through the world in a respectful and ethical manner?

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We love OWL! Dh is certified to teach the K-2 and 4-6 (I think) class. He's taught both a couple of times. Dd just went through the k-2 class this fall. It was during regular Sunday RE class hours, but you could only participate if you signed up for the class. Visitors went to the nursery where we had activities set up for them (since they were young anyway).

 

I am so thankful for the OWL program.

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Redsquirrel,

A post described a lock in with Juno. We have never done this. The kids at one local UU go on a type of three day survival hike/orienteering program. You describe OWL curric starting in first grade, others describe middle school. One UU in our area starts at 12 and one starts at 14. Some UU describe OWL during regular RE, I have not had this experience in several other UU fellowships. I have no doubt that there is training and a structured curric. However, the experience of most aspects of UU vary widely. The OWL program within these highly varied contexts is not going to be similar.

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