jenL Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 My mom learned on Saturday that my step-father has decided to leave her. "He's not happy" is his reasoning. They have been married for 12 years, and in that 12 years, my mom has nursed him through prostate cancer, bone cancer, knee replacement sur\gery, and gastric-bypass surgery. She has done all this while working 45-50 hour work weeks. She turned 60 this year. She has bent over backwards for this man, whom I was just starting to like within the past year or so (I've always thought he was a jerk who was using her). She is his 4th wife, so this is obviously part of his track record. What angers me the most is they were just here from Christmas day until Dec. 31, and he acted perfectly fine. He told her on Jan. 2 he was thinking about it, then finalized his decision Saturday morning when he told her. Dh caught him on a website for women (not sure if it was dating or soft porn) while on my mother's computer while sitting in my living room. Dh was behind him putting on his shoes, while J just sat in the chair browsing away... oblivious or not even caring. A few months ago, my sister and I found him "liking" women pages through Facebook. My mom dismissed it, saying he wasn't computer savvy or Facebook savvy enough to know what he was doing because he just clicks on everything. She feels so stupid for saying that now. Anyway, if you could pray for her right now I would appreciate it, and so would she. He's becoming verbally nasty to her (he has been for years), and she needs strength right now. My dad left her for another woman in 1995, so she's been through this before and she knows what steps she needs to take. Ironically, when I asked her how to help Julie in CA, she openly gave advice in front of my step-dad who has probably been planning his get-away for a long time. I'm angry; I feel betrayed since he was just here and it was a great visit. I'm sad for my mom, and sad for my little sister who is very close to him. I'm sad for my kids since they both know him as their grandfather, and they like him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherMayI Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 What a jerk! (((Hugs))) to you and your dear mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I will pray for her and keep her in my thoughts. Please keep us updated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I will pray for your mom and all your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Praying :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I am so sorry. I will pray for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I'm so sorry!!! I will definitely pray for her. Honestly, though, this could be the best thing that ever happened to her. He sounds like a jerk, and since she is still only 60, hopefully she will have many, many happy years ahead of her -- without having to wait on that idiot hand and foot! I'm sad for her right now, though, because she must be really hurting. And I'm sorry for the rest of your family, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 :grouphug: Sending up prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2boysmom Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I could have almost written your post word for word. My mom too has suffered in the exact same way, only 3 times! the last time was shorter and my dh discovered it too while observing the guy behind him online. We had to break the news to my mom that he was secretly meeting someone on the side. Heartbreaking. I'll be in prayer for you and your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 so sorry...agreeing with Cat that maybe this will be a freeing experience for your mom - in the end. Sorry she has to go through this tough road though. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 :grouphug: For your Mom and all. And prayers. I agree that this sounds like one of those "blessing in disguise" moments. Unfortunately, first comes the pain, though. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Thank you everyone! My sisters and I also see this as a blessing in disguise, and I think my mom may have that in her head too. He is kind of a hoarder, and he leaves clutter everywhere which has stressed my mom for years. She cleans up; he adds more junk. She told me she was laying in bed Saturday night after he told her that morning, and she became so happy that she was going to be able to come home to a clean countertop! I rejoiced with her and started listing off all of the other exciting possibilities I had thought of. It seemed to brighten her spirit because she just kept saying, "I'm going to be okay". Today, she heads to the bank to lock down the account at the credit union and meet with a lawyer. I keep praying she stays one step ahead of him. ETA: I just spoke to her. She's really sad this morning and said, "I just don't want to do this again, Jen." I told her that so many were praying for her, and she is so grateful. She's heading to the bank soon. She did the numbers last night, and she doesn't think she can stay in her house. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Continuing to pray. Will pray for her to have strength today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Praying for you Mom. I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 What an a$$. I'm so sorry for your mom. I'll keep her in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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