Large Families- How do you dodge the questions at Christmas?

[sewgirlie]

For those of you with large families (or just quick minds),

 

We have 4 children and, Lord willing, we'll be having more. However, both my husband's family and mine won't be happy about it. Our youngest is about to turn 1, so I'm sure we'll get lots of questions at Christmas about if we're planning more. Any advice for how to avoid them without being outright rude?

 

Thanks!

 

Carrie

[Erica in OR]

"Why do you ask?"

 

Or, your own answer "Lord willing." "Whatever God chooses to bless us with."

 

Or, the tongue-in-cheek Willy Wonka approach—"All questions must be submitted in writing." "Speak up next time. I'm a trifle deaf in this ear."

 

Erica in OR

[UmMusa]

How about just saying you'll see what happens? And that either way, you'll be happy.

[melissamomof5]

I would just say "we don't know how many children the Lord has planned for us".

[Impish]

Well, we still haven't told MIL, so I haven't the foggiest. I was asked when pregnant w/Boo, and simply said, "Whatever God has planned is welcomed by us." Tended to shut ppl up. They didn't know how to argue w/that one.

[Starr]

"Well, not this week!" Laugh and head for the dip.

[Belacqua]

How about just saying you'll see what happens? And that either way, you'll be happy.

 

 

I like that. Might not work on the nosiest of questioners, but it's so reasonable and mature.

 

Those of us with small families probably get the corollary. When you have just one kid, people spend the next ten years or so pointedly looking at your waistline and raising an expectant eyebrow. I'm such a thicko, though, I thought for years they just didn't like my pants. And it can't possibly be as annoying as the don't-you-know-how-that-happens questions, so you all have my deepest sympathy.

[texasmama]

"Well, not this week!" Laugh and head for the dip.

 

I like this. I'm kind of a smart aleck this way, though. lol

[Audrey]

For those of you with large families (or just quick minds),

 

We have 4 children and, Lord willing, we'll be having more. However, both my husband's family and mine won't be happy about it. Our youngest is about to turn 1, so I'm sure we'll get lots of questions at Christmas about if we're planning more. Any advice for how to avoid them without being outright rude?

 

Thanks!

 

Carrie

 

 

 

"Bless your heart! Tried the egg nog/spinach dip/pâté yet?"

[bagel270]

I answer with a smile, "Not today!"

[violamama]

Or, the tongue-in-cheek Willy Wonka approach—"All questions must be submitted in writing." "Speak up next time. I'm a trifle deaf in this ear."

 

Erica in OR

 

 

^

"Mumbler!"

 

Or, "Well, we get the bulk discount with our midwife/hospital once we hit 10 deliveries, so..."

 

Or, "Well, have you heard of the Duggars?"

 

Or, "We're selling naming rights on the next three... want in?"

 

I'm a smart-alec, I know, but it's because my husband's family is insanely so. My family is much more laid-back but his side seems to almost take that as a sign of weakness, so I usually go for humor right off the bat and then it fends off hours of teasing. (Not kidding about the hours.)

[Giraffe]

Those of us with small families probably get the corollary. When you have just one kid, people spend the next ten years or so pointedly looking at your waistline and raising and expectant eyebrow. I'm such a thicko, though, I thought for years they just didn't like my pants. And it can't possibly be as annoying as the don't-you-know-how-that-happens questions, so you all have my deepest sympathy.

 

 

I just spent four days getting grilled by my DH's extended family about why we only have one and why don't we get pregnant again already. Forget the fact that I've miscarried at least once (and told them) and that we've tried for five years (and told them that, too). As DH said at the end of the trip: "Oh, wow! So that's how it's done! We never thought of that! Let's get cracking right away!"

 

:rolleyes:

 

The "we'll have whatever God blesses us with" works both ways and is the best answer, I've found.

[gardenmom5]

I happen to consider any questions into the future contents of someone's womb when no pregnancy has been anounced as extremely gauche.

 

simple -

"I consider that a personal question", accompanied by a hard stare. then change the subject.

 

"why do you ask?" again accompanied by a hard stare and change the subject. (NO answer they give excuses them asking that question, and no answer should induce you to answering them.)

 

the responses are NOT rude - but will put them in their place and will shut up all by the most hardened. (in which case you repeat, or "you are determined aren't you". etc.)

[Rosie_0801]

If I were you I'd say YES!!!!!!! with the biggest beaming smile I could fit on my face. People can manage, but most find it hard to argue with a big, beaming smile. If that doesn't work, move on to bean dip. If that doesn't work, go wash the dishes. Chances are the rude person won't follow to help, and if they do, they should be scared away by a tea towel thrust at them.

[PrairieSong]

Just smile and say, "We're not pregnant now, but the day's not over yet!"

[2squared]

I approach it head-on. Before we thought we were done, I answered something along the lines of, "I don't know when we'll be blessed again" or "Not yet." Now that we want to be done, I say something like, "I hope not, but I guess anything is possible!" with a big smile. Our family already knows our open-to-life position, so I guess they wouldn't be surprised either way.

[amy g.]

I give them right back the level of seriousness they deserve while making sure they know that there question is not getting to me.

 

When someone asks if we an on having more I always say, "Probably, because you know, 5 is an odd number."

[Tammyla]

Respond with a smile and laughter.

 

"Well, aren't you nosy."

"Are you saying...I look fat."

"MYOB...That's between us."

"Why, are you trying to get rid of one?"

"Pardon me?" This one repeated over and over will shut most any pushy-loud-mouth.