Why, why, WHY?!?!?! (another school shooting)

[Violet Crown]

I think it is just AWFUL!!! I cannot imagine how the parents of the students (and adults) who were killed feel! :crying:

 

Recent local events have made me wonder how unsafe public schools actually are. How many people here have heard that a small school district in Central Texas has completely shut down after NINE bomb threats in one week at multiple schools? It was so out of control that they canceled school for Wed-Fri this week at all the public schools in the entire district. It hasn't made national news (that I know of), so it makes me wonder how much stuff like this goes on all across the country and doesn't make it into the national news unless something horrible happens. Are bomb threats and students bringing guns to school (happened at a school in this same district earlier this month) so commonplace that it isn't even news?

 

. And I don't know that that's anything new; in my Central Texas high school back in the '80s, one year we had repeated call-in bomb threats almost weekly - always conveniently in last period so the days wouldn't have to be made up later. These are stupid pranks, and really don't deserve much coverage. Lightyears away from the horror of today.

 

ETA: I see now you said " local," so I'm guessing you didn't want to identify the place. Editing now.

[lovinmomma]

 

 

((lovinmomma)))

 

Glad my son is not in a school today but he is with his dad 2 hours away from me.....I just want to hug him!

 

Thank you! :)

[edeemarie]

I can't get out of my head how these poor parents probably had Christmas presents for these children already, and now have nothing to do with them. It is absolutely heartbreaking and I don't think I will eat dinner tonight- I am absolutely sick to my stomach. :crying: If it brings safety service workers to tears you know it must have been absolutely horrific.

[Annie Laurie]

It's being reported that the shooter was Adam Lanza, Ryan Lanza's younger brother.

[snowbeltmom]

It's being reported that the shooter was Adam Lanza, Ryan Lanza's younger brother.

Is the adult in custody the brother?

[Annie Laurie]

Is the adult in custody the brother?

 

They're (the news outlets) saying Ryan Lanza is in custody. I don't know if he will be released.

 

There are so many rumors right now though, and so much speculation.

[Parrothead]

Trust me. Every day I wish that I didn't have to. However, then I hear about things like the shooting at the theatre.

 

I canceled our plans to go see The Hobbit in our small town theater. It is too easy for a copy cat on a day like today. We will wait until later in the week

[Parrothead]

It's being reported that the shooter was Adam Lanza, Ryan Lanza's younger brother.

 

Who is Ryan Lanza?

[LibraryLover]

So much speculation. I hate 24/7 news.

[Scarlett]

Who is Ryan Lanza?

 

 

Son of the K teacher.

[Scarlett]

OMG The shooters were brothers? I wondered why 2, and the connections. That's horrible.

 

 

 

They don't know if he was a second shooter. One brother is dead, one is in custody.

 

Adam is 20, Ryan is 24.

 

Also another body somewhere....not sure who that is.

[snowbeltmom]

 

 

They don't know if he was a second shooter. One brother is dead, one is in custody.

 

Adam is 20, Ryan is 24.

 

Also another body somewhere....not sure who that is.

 

Some news outlets are reporting that the girlfriend is missing

[Parrothead]

.

[SKL]

Brothers? Okay there is more to this than one kid on a jealous rampage. This was planned.

 

 

Unless one brother was trying to stop the other brother. I would say let's wait and see what the police figure out.

[Marylou]

Hebrews 9:27 "And as it is appointed to men once to die, but after this the judgment" (re the killer if he is dead).

 

I prefer to call him the killer or murderer instead of shooter.

[myfunnybunch]

People that do something like this have something wrong with their brain wiring.

 

 

I agree with this wholeheartedly. But at the same time, without blaming gamers as a group or gaming in general, I don't think we can completely dismiss the effects violent video games might have on people who already have something wrong with their brain wiring. (ETA: I am not advocating banning video games. I don't think that's the answer. I don't know what the answer is.)

 

Cat

[TravelingChris]

Many news outlets are now reporting that the shooter was Adam Lanza, 20, not Ryan Lanza, 24, who lives in Hoboken, was at work, and didn't do this except that his mother and brother are dead.

[Laurie4b]

 

Unless one brother was trying to stop the other brother. I would say let's wait and see what the police figure out.

 

 

That's what I was wondering...or if he came too late...

[Parrothead]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. But at the same time, without blaming gamers as a group or gaming in general, I don't think we can completely dismiss the effects violent video games might have on people who already have something wrong with their brain wiring.

 

Cat

 

 

So what do we do? Ban all video games just in case? That's useless. People who fixate will do so with anything. Either this guy hid it really well or his friends and family were oblivious.

[LibraryLover]

 

 

They don't know if he was a second shooter. One brother is dead, one is in custody.

 

Adam is 20, Ryan is 24.

 

Also another body somewhere....not sure who that is.

 

 

 

So much speculation. I really hate 24/7 news. It's too much. Those poor people.

[A.Balaban]

Many news outlets are now reporting that the shooter was Adam Lanza, 20, not Ryan Lanza, 24, who lives in Hoboken, was at work, and didn't do this except that his mother and brother are dead.

 

This is incorrect... Ryan Lanza was taken into custody in Newtown, CT.

 

I saw the same facebook status report, but they were false.

[Scarlett]

I plan to wait to find out more about the shooter and his brother. It sounds like they already got the name of the shooter wrong, one news station gave the wrong FB account and picture. Ryan has been taken into custody but again it sounds like for questioning about his brother.

 

I am confused aout where Ryan was picked up. At his house (his dad's hosue) in NJ? Or at the school? I was in another room and heard someone being interviewed that said a man was led past him in handcuffs and looked at this person (the one being interviewed) and said, 'I didn't do it.' Was that at the school?

 

Friends of the family say Adam was 'brilliant.' :( Another genius gone mad?

[Susan Wise Bauer]

OK, all of you,

 

I will delete posts and ban members who turn this into a gun control argument.

 

ADDED: Either FOR or AGAINST. Yes, this is a discussion that needs to happen. Not tonight, not in this thread.

 

I will delete posts and ban members who say that this is bound to happen if you have your kids in public schools.

 

And those of you who want to complain about how "this place" (meaning this forum) is run on the back of THIS thread? Are you serious? Knock it off.

 

Hug your babies. Pray for those poor parents. And behave like adults.

 

NM.

 

SWB

[Parrothead]

I am confused aout where Ryan was picked up. At his house (his dad's hosue) in NJ? Or at the school? I was in another room and heard someone being interviewed that said a man was led past him in handcuffs and looked at this person (the one being interviewed) and said, 'I didn't do it.' Was that at the school?

 

Friends of the family say Adam was 'brilliant.' :( Another genius gone mad?

Looks like maybe the younger one had the elder brother's ID with him. It is all very confusing at this point. I don't think the reporters have it all straightened out yet.

[Parrothead]

OK, all of you,

 

I will delete posts and ban members who turn this into a gun control argument.

 

I will delete posts and ban members who say that this is bound to happen if you have your kids in public schools.

 

And those of you who want to complain about how "this place" (meaning this forum) is run on the back of THIS thread? Are you serious? Knock it off.

 

Hug your babies. Pray for those poor parents. And behave like adults.

 

NM.

 

SWB

Yes ma'am.

[idnib]

I canceled our plans to go see The Hobbit in our small town theater. It is too easy for a copy cat on a day like today. We will wait until later in the week

 

I was also planning to go and didn't even think of the copycat aspect (although I agree with you.) I had cancelled bacause my heart is so heavy for these families.

[mazakaal]

I'm going crazy over here. I can't get any live news feeds to load properly. And the print articles aren't giving a lot of information. It's moments like these that I wish we had Tv reception.

[MiniBlondes]

I'm going crazy over here. I can't get any live news feeds to load properly. And the print articles aren't giving a lot of information. It's moments like these that I wish we had Tv reception.

 

We don't have TV either, so I feel your pain.

[Slartibartfast]

There are no words.

 

:(

 

I think some news sources are not giving much information because there is not a lot of information yet. We should be patient and let the authorities do their jobs I would prefer it to hysterical inaccurate rumors. We may have amazing news coverage and access now but sometimes, as things are unfolding I don't find it helpful.

[Scarlett]

I'm going crazy over here. I can't get any live news feeds to load properly. And the print articles aren't giving a lot of information. It's moments like these that I wish we had Tv reception.

 

 

Be glad. The details are so mixed and confusing I don't think we will know what the real story is for days.

[Arcadia]

I'm going crazy over here. I can't get any live news feeds to load properly. And the print articles aren't giving a lot of information. It's moments like these that I wish we had Tv reception.

 

This live update link is working for me http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/12/live-updates-newtown-ct-school-shooting/

 

Was watching the news/press conference 30mins ago and nothing was confirmed.

[Stacia]

A quote I read said President Obama said, "I know there's not a parent in America who doesn't feel the same overwhelming grief that I do."

 

Yes. This. Exactly. It's completely heartbreaking.

[SKL]

I heard that some of the children were able to run out of the class and survived.

 

I need to stop listening now - and go get my kids.

[justamouse]

I can't get out of my head how these poor parents probably had Christmas presents for these children already, and now have nothing to do with them. It is absolutely heartbreaking and I don't think I will eat dinner tonight- I am absolutely sick to my stomach. :crying: If it brings safety service workers to tears you know it must have been absolutely horrific.

 

I know, that's exactly my train of thought, too.

[Nan in Mass]

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/445249-7-est-sing-dona-nobis-for-sandy-hook-school-and-families/

 

At 7 pm est, my clan is putting a candle in the window and singing Dona Nobis Pachem for the Sandy Hook school and their friends and family. Anyone is welcome to join us.

[pdalley]

My local media is now throwing out that his brother thinks the shooter might be autistic or have Aspergers. They refuse to respond to my request for a citation of this report. I am livid.

[lorisuewho]

I don't understand.

Now I hear on the news that the shooter shot his mother at her home and afterwards drove to the school and shot the children in her class. Why? Why go specifically just for the children?

[Abeille]

My local media is now throwing out that his brother thinks the shooter might be autistic or have Aspergers. They refuse to respond to my request for a citation of this report. I am livid.

 

 

I wanted to clarify that I liked this post because I share your anger. As a parent of an Aspie, it infuriates me that any media outlet would publish such unsubstantiated "information."

 

I have seen so much irresponsible journalism today surrounding this tragedy, that I am appalled. One online venue posted a link to the supposed Facebook page of the alleged shooter (or at least, the suspect that was originally reported). When I viewed the FB page, there were thousands and thousands of shares of that person's photos, accompanied by many angry and even violent comments. Later, the website that reported it as his page had to retract their statements as the owner of the page posted, hours after the shooter was known dead, that it wasn't him. http://www.slate.com...ryan_lanza.html

[Jennifer in MI]

I wanted to clarify that I liked this post because I share your anger. As a parent of an Aspie, it infuriates me that any media outlet would publish such unsubstantiated "information."

 

I

 

 

I read this too. My Aspie read this. He is horrified.

[pdalley]

It scares me because what if some person just hears that - not the retraction - and looks at my kids and automatically think they could do such a thing. My boys are in tears over this as well. It is not in their nature to do such a horrible thing. They are now whining that the AP was the source. I said, there is no legit source unless it was a medical professional that did in fact examine and diagnose the shooter. Obviously they do not have that sort of information. They truly do not understand how they would put someone in danger with such misinformation.

 

They told me they reported it first. Who cares? Isn't it more important to be accurate?

[Laurie4b]

I heard on the news that a neighbor is saying that the perpetrator exhibited some odd behaviors that could be symptoms of some type of mental illness and/or autism.

[Jennifer3141]

I don't understand.

Now I hear on the news that the shooter shot his mother at her home and afterwards drove to the school and shot the children in her class. Why? Why go specifically just for the children?

 

 

 

Because there was something very, very wrong with the shooter.

 

This is a person who got up this morning after days and weeks of preparing for this, knowing full well that at the end of the day he would be dead and that he would destroy as many other people as possible along with him. Once that happens to a human, there's very little that can be done to fix that person at that point in time,

 

We'll find out in the coming days and weeks that the shooter either came from a horrible home environment and/or that the shooter suffered from mental disease.

 

I'm sickened by the media reports that the brother said the shooter, 'might be autistic.' Oh. Ok. Well that explains NOTHIBG so thanks for that report, media!

 

Mentally stable people don't just wake up one morning and go blow up an elementary school. I didn't. Did you? I even had a bad day last week and I still didn't do anything like this. This is a horror but the, "why" will be the same as it is for all random violence.

[Murphy101]

My local media is now throwing out that his brother thinks the shooter might be autistic or have Aspergers. They refuse to respond to my request for a citation of this report. I am livid.

 

 

Me too! And some idiot on my FB actually said that because of that they think every child should be tested at school just like mandatory vision screening. And of course all of this could have been prevented if he had had better treatment for his aspergers and his mama hadn't been so strict and he got frustrated with never fitting in and of course this all explains why he killed 18 kindergarteners.

 

OMG I just went volcanic on her FB for it.

 

What a horridly stupid and irresponsible and illogical thing to post.

 

Probably should have kept my mouth shut.

 

She sent me an email about how her friend has a child with autism and knows things and is an advocate for and blahblahblan and how I was very disrespectful to her.

 

Yeah. Well. Did my part for aspergers awareness then because I thought that was crazy disrespectful to those with aspergers and their parents. Just awful. I'm not known for my ability to be tactful and I would NEVER say that.

 

Yeah. Livid is a good word.

[Abeille]

I read this too. My Aspie read this. He is horrified.

 

 

I'm worried about how my ds is going to react if/when he hears the speculation that the shooter has Aspergers. I suspect he's going to ask if he could grow up to do such a thing. I'm also worried that it could add to the challenges he already faces in a neurotypical world. Going to be giving out some extra huge hugs tonight.

[Scarlett]

Me too! And some idiot on my FB actually said that because of that they think every child should be tested at school just like mandatory vision screening. And of course all of this could have been prevented if he had had better treatment for his aspergers and his mama hadn't been so strict and he got frustrated with never fitting in and of course this all explains why he killed 18 kindergarteners. .

 

 

What is WRONG with people!

 

Are people so simplistic that they think they can get 'the story' on something this twisted and sick before the day has ended?

[Joanne]

{{{hugs}}} to everyone consumed by this today.

 

There is not an answer; there never will be an answer that assuages your fear and empathic grief for those effected. It's senseless, and no amount of news is going to change that.

 

Please, ladies, consider if being glued to the updates is serving you. It might be better to shut off all updates for a while, and move into something with sensory input (music, kneading dough, play outside with the kids). If this is feeding worry and anxiety, a better response would be to take a break.

 

You can't fix this. Wait, and later, there will be ways to help the families impacted. You can get more accurate updates later.

 

{{{more hugs}}}

[Murphy101]

What is WRONG with people!

 

Are people so simplistic that they think they can get 'the story' on something this twisted and sick before the day has ended?

 

 

I have no idea. I'm so strict about who is on my FB, that I was thoroughly blind sided too. Which didn't help me respond very gracefully. :( I couldn't believe I was reading that on my feed. I read some pretty weird stuff once in a while, but wow. Usually it's not that bad.

[Jennifer in MI]

Me too! And some idiot on my FB actually said that because of that they think every child should be tested at school just like mandatory vision screening. And of course all of this could have been prevented if he had had better treatment for his aspergers and his mama hadn't been so strict and he got frustrated with never fitting in and of course this all explains why he killed 18 kindergarteners.

 

OMG I just went volcanic on her FB for it.

 

What a horridly stupid and irresponsible and illogical thing to post.

 

Probably should have kept my mouth shut.

 

She sent me an email about how her friend has a child with autism and knows things and is an advocate for and blahblahblan and how I was very disrespectful to her.

 

Yeah. Well. Did my part for aspergers awareness then because I thought that was crazy disrespectful to those with aspergers and their parents. Just awful. I'm not known for my ability to be tactful and I would NEVER say that.

 

Yeah. Livid is a good word.

 

You done good!!!!!! Thank you.

 

 

I'm worried about how my ds is going to react if/when he hears the speculation that the shooter has Aspergers. I suspect he's going to ask if he could grow up to do such a thing. I'm also worried that it could add to the challenges he already faces in a neurotypical world. Going to be giving out some extra huge hugs tonight.

 

He's 11 right? Hopefully he won't read it. My Aspie is 16. He is so sad right now about what this means for his diagnosis. So many questions. Good discussions though. ((hugs))

[Abeille]

He's 11 right? Hopefully he won't read it. My Aspie is 16. He is so sad right now about what this means for his diagnosis. So many questions. Good discussions though. ((hugs))

 

I doubt he'd read it directly, and we won't be mentioning the speculations about autism/Asperger's. I'm more worried he may hear about that at school on Monday. He doesn't do much online except watch funny videos or play WoW with parental supervision, but I think I'll be trying to steer the youngers towards Minecraft or family movie time this weekend. :grouphug: to everyone struggling to make sense of this, and worried about how their dc may be impacted. I think I'm going to take Joanne's advice (not sure if it was in this thread or the other one) and avoid news/updates for a while.

[Arcadia]

I have no idea. I'm so strict about who is on my FB, that I was thoroughly blind sided too. Which didn't help me respond very gracefully. :( I couldn't believe I was reading that on my feed. I read some pretty weird stuff once in a while, but wow. Usually it's not that bad.

 

:grouphug:

 

I just "warn" my friend who has an aspie son to look out for negative remarks on her facebook because she posted about the shooting and ex-schoolmates don't know her son is aspie.