TXBeth Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I get that it's a popular word and all, but let's be real. Doing something annoying, or even something mean, to someone else...one time...is not bullying. That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I couldn't disagree more. In the context of the radio station it sounds like they had an attitude of a bully. Multiple management approved pranks have been carried out by the station. If this was a kid who had this attitude and carried out a string of attacks on different people to humiliate and shame them they would be considered a bully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted December 11, 2012 Author Share Posted December 11, 2012 I couldn't disagree more. In the context of the radio station it sounds like they had an attitude of a bully. Multiple management approved pranks have been carried out by the station. If this was a kid who had this attitude and carried out a string of attacks on different people to humiliate and shame them they would be considered a bully. But where do you get the idea that the intent was to humiliate or shame anyone? Anyway, this idea came up on that thread, but I have seen it in other situations as well. "The neighbor kid hit my child." "Oh, that is bullying. You should take it seriously and call the police." um...no. It is wrong, but not bullying. In my opinion, and what I have gleaned from definitions I could find elsewhere, bullying needs to include either a)an intent to coerce or b)a pattern of behavior. A one-time incidence of meanness, while wrong, is not bullying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 How can a prank call be made without the intent to humiliate? If the caller gets what they want then the individual on the end of the prank has done something wrong through some lack of ability to see through the prank for whatever reason. If the person on the end of the call had immediately hung up on them it wouldnt have been aired. It was only successful because of the humiliation. In the case of kids getting hurt once by someone else. The kid is probably not being bullied but it doesn't mean the person who did it isn't a bully. Yes kids make mistakes but why would anyone set out to purposely hurt someone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXBeth Posted December 11, 2012 Author Share Posted December 11, 2012 In the case of kids getting hurt once by someone else. The kid is probably not being bullied but it doesn't mean the person who did it isn't a bully. Yes kids make mistakes but why would anyone set out to purposely hurt someone else? Because they are human, and children, and they don't always control their emotions perfectly. Or sometimes with very young children, because they are just curious about what will result and haven't yet learned that it isn't okay to perform that type of experiment on fellow humans. I have heard parents of toddlers talk about the "bully" that grabbed a toy from their kid during Sunday School. Seriously? He wasnt bullying; he just wanted the toy, so he grabbed it. I don't think putting that label on a kid is right or productive. FWIW, I am not trying to say that bullying doesn't exist. In fact, I worry that my DS is becoming a bully (habitually using violence or the threat of violence to force others to bend to his will) and we are working to stop it. But to label a prank call "bullying," IMO, is counterproductive because it devalues the term and prevents real bullying from being taken as seriously as it should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 How can a prank call be made without the intent to humiliate? If the caller gets what they want then the individual on the end of the prank has done something wrong through some lack of ability to see through the prank for whatever reason. If the person on the end of the call had immediately hung up on them it wouldnt have been aired. It was only successful because of the humiliation. In the case of kids getting hurt once by someone else. The kid is probably not being bullied but it doesn't mean the person who did it isn't a bully. Yes kids make mistakes but why would anyone set out to purposely hurt someone else? It that's bullying, bullying doesn't mean anything anymore. Let's hang up the word and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I totally agree on the young kids front they can't always control their behaviour and can't redirect their feelings, but older kids not so much. As someone who spent my childhood on the end of bullies I don't think using it devalues it. All this nonsense reality tv and pranks seems to bypass common sense. It makes it ok to do for a certain portion of society because adults are doing it and it's popular and rakes in cash. It drives me up the wall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 It that's bullying, bullying doesn't mean anything anymore. Let's hang up the word and move on. So what do you think is bullying? having the crap beaten out of you? Seriously being on the end of bullies is a drip, drip, drip thing a lot of the time that strips you of your self esteem. And yes it is easy for people to overreact to minor chilren's stuff, especially with little kids and I do agree on that point. But the vast majority of bullying is ignored and too many people live a horrible life on the end of things that other don't consider a big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 So what do you think is bullying? How about starting with the dictionary definition? To bully is to treat abusively or to affect by means of force or coercion. A bully is one habitually cruel to others who are weaker. I agree with the OP that the word loses meaning if it is used to describe any behavior that another person doesn't like. It does minimize the seriousness of bullying when everything from raising your eyebrow at something a person says or does to beating someone up is labeled bullying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 How about starting with the dictionary definition? To bully is to treat abusively or to affect by means of force or coercion. A bully is one habitually cruel to others who are weaker. I agree with the OP that the word loses meaning if it is used to describe any behavior that another person doesn't like. It does minimize the seriousness of bullying when everything from raising your eyebrow at something a person says or does to beating someone up is labeled bullying. I suppose it also depends upon what you see as abusive. I see humiliation as emotionally abusive so using the dictionary defination won't change my opinion in the case of the nurse who died. And as I explained in a previous post no one would prank call without the intention of humiliation, it's the payout, this radio station habitually prank people. I think it's a word that needs more use rather than less, I rarely hear it so I personally don't have experience of it's overuse. It strikes me that people don't want to hear it used because they don't want to deal with their kids being labelled a bully. I mean realistically I would rather a child who feels bullied is listened to and taken seriously rather than brushed off and told to put up with it, even if that means that a lot of the time it's only much more minor stuff that is being sorted out. Maybe the children involved can learn an important life lesson about how to treat each other even if they are found innocent or not warranting the accusation. Yes it's silly when parents apply it to boistrous toddlers or every minor incident. It's only when people overdo the reaction that it is silly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I think it's a word that needs more use rather than less, I rarely hear it so I personally don't have experience of it's overuse. I'm not as concerned about how often it is used as I am with using the word appropriately, not so loosely and broadly that it encompasses practically everyone. I do see this exaggerated misuse of the word happening more and more frequently, to the point that I think the word is becoming yet another meaningless buzzword. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I get that it's a popular word and all, but let's be real. Doing something annoying, or even something mean, to someone else...one time...is not bullying. That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: and it is especially not bullying if after they have done it they apologise and then have to have medical treatment because they are so distressed about the incident. I spent my entire teenage life being the target of bullies - believe me - what the DJs' did is not it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Bullying is the current politically correct buzzword. People are using it to describe everything under the sun. A kid gets into a one-time argument with another kid at school, and the bigger kid is automatically a bully. A couple of djs play a silly prank and because something goes wrong, it's bullying. Please. The rampant over-use and mis-use of the term is an insult to those who truly were bullied. And I think most of us know what really constitutes bullying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Oops! Double post! :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juniper Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 How about starting with the dictionary definition? To bully is to treat abusively or to affect by means of force or coercion. A bully is one habitually cruel to others who are weaker. I agree with the OP that the word loses meaning if it is used to describe any behavior that another person doesn't like. It does minimize the seriousness of bullying when everything from raising your eyebrow at something a person says or does to beating someone up is labeled bullying. I agree, especially with the bolded. I am not at all saying anything in regards to the DJ thing, but I too find the overuse of the word quite obnoxious. The bolded is a vital part of the defination, not a disposable one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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