Teen driving rules?

[profmom]

Dd is just about to turn 16 and is working on her driver's license! Will you share your rules and other great ideas for driving, cell phones, and even other teenage rules, if they come to mind?

 

That's a very broad question, I know! Here are some of the things I'm wondering about (so far). We're just wanting to get started on the right foot with the right, balanced amount of rules.

 

~ If your child wants to go see friends, what rules do you have?

 

~ What age is it okay for your kids to go hang out with other kids with no adults present, such as meet at the mall or Starbucks? (Does that change if it's a mixed group -- guys and girls, hanging out as friends?)

 

~ What does your child need permission to do (with car or phone)?

 

~ Do you have extra rules for whom they take in the vehicle or where they drive or how late, etc., other than the state's rules?

 

~ What are your texting rules?

 

~ Do you limit access to their phones, such as times of day or night?

 

~ Who pays for gas? (If teen, how do they earn the money?)

 

~ What is a reasonable allowance for a teen driver?

 

~ Did you provide a car for your teen? If so, how do you treat that car -- as your extra car or his/hers?

 

 

:bigear: Anything else?? I would appreciate your help!!

[missmoe]

Dd is just about to turn 16 and is working on her driver's license! Will you share your rules and other great ideas for driving, cell phones, and even other teenage rules, if they come to mind?

 

That's a very broad question, I know! Here are some of the things I'm wondering about (so far). We're just wanting to get started on the right foot with the right, balanced amount of rules.

 

~ If your child wants to go see friends, what rules do you have?

 

~ What age is it okay for your kids to go hang out with other kids with no adults present, such as meet at the mall or Starbucks? (Does that change if it's a mixed group -- guys and girls, hanging out as friends?) 15 or 16. Depends on the child, on the situation, ect

 

~ What does your child need permission to do (with car or phone)? Our 16th birthday gift is a phone. Kids have a certain amount of minutes/texts on their phone for each month. We must always be able to get a hold of them on the phone--so using up all their minutes on the phone before the month is over is not allowed. If that happens, then their time out with friends without an adult is halted for the rest of the month--because we can't get a hold of them and they can't get a hold of us if needed. They always need permission to use the car. Driving is not a given at anytime.

 

~ Do you have extra rules for who they take in the vehicle or where they drive or how late, etc., other than the state's rules Our state limits other teens allowed in the car for the first 6 months. Generally, we extend that rule to always until 18. Specific cases otherwise may be approved.

 

~ What are your texting rules? No texting while driving. No texting after 9 pm. And our kids know that at any point we can look at their phone and their texts.

 

~ Do you limit access to their phones, such as times of day or night? Yes, after 9. And the phone can not come into church! (that has been an issue for one child)

 

~ Who pays for gas? (If teen, how do they earn the money?) Normally we pay for gas. My kids haven't had a regular job until after they graduated from high school.

 

~ What is a reasonable allowance for a teen driver? What do you mean by allowance? My kids don't receive an allowance. We provide their basics and they provide the rest through babysitting and lawn care type jobs.

 

~ Did you provide a car for your teen? If so, how do you treat that car -- as your extra car or his/hers? We provide a car for their use. It is not their car. We have five teens--and so far driving ages while still living at home have not overlapped--but they will soon. The car will be for all to use. We will work out who uses it when the same way we do with anything else we own that several people use. I fore see us buying another car when we have three teens driving at the same time as they may need to be in three different places at one time with college classes.

 

 

:bigear: Anything else?? I would appreciate your help!!

[AK_Mom4]

In general, I expect my teens (driving and not) to follow the same rules I do while they are living at home:

 

No texting while driving. None. Be home when people are expecting you or let someone know you are going to be late. Let someone know where you are headed. Don't bring the car home with the gas tank empty (if you can't afford gas, then work it out with mom/dad - we understand cash flow problems). If you need extra $$ (for gas and outings with friends), look for a way to earn some.

 

My oldest son bought a beat-up car and put in the sweat labor with DH to get it running (we paid for the parts - a good investment IMO). He handed it down to DD18 when he left for college and she has handed it down to DS17 now that she is gone. We pick up the insurance in exchange for the convenience of not having to drive them everywhere (another good investment IMO).

[momofkhm]

~ If your child wants to go see friends, what rules do you have

 

They always have to ask and I can always say no. I usually don't as long as school work is done.

 

~ What age is it okay for your kids to go hang out with other kids with no adults present, such as meet at the mall or Starbucks? (Does that change if it's a mixed group -- guys and girls, hanging out as friends?)

 

15 as long as she is not alone. Since I have 2 girls we haven't run into the "Can I go to the mall alone?" yet. But my oldest does often stop by Starbucks or Target on the way home from CC classes. She's 18. So far no issue about boy/girl groups.

 

~ What does your child need permission to do (with car or phone)?

 

The phone is theirs for the most part. But if they leave the house, they need to tell me. It's sort of a "ask permission", it's sort of tell me where they are going and why.

 

~ Do you have extra rules for whom they take in the vehicle or where they drive or how late, etc., other than the state's rules?

 

You can't be in the car with someone who has been driving less than 6 months. But my 18 yo still hasn't gone more than 2 miles with another teen driver. And I don't think anyone has been in the car with her either.

 

~ What are your texting rules?

 

No texting while driving. If they get a text while driving, wait until they get to where they are going to check it. If they get a call, it will usually be from me(teen just don't call much), pull over as soon as they can and call me back.

 

~ Do you limit access to their phones, such as times of day or night?

 

no.

 

~ Who pays for gas? (If teen, how do they earn the money?)

When she was working dd18 was supposed to put gas in the car. But since I use it as much as she does, I tend to put the gas in.

 

~ What is a reasonable allowance for a teen driver?

 

~ Did you provide a car for your teen? If so, how do you treat that car -- as your extra car or his/hers?

 

We provide the car, but it was because we had one. It's my car. We drive whatever is in the back. So if it's the car and it's time to take ds to tennis, I take the car. If it's the truck, it's the truck.

 

 

In regards to some of your questions - I have "good" kids. (Not saying yours aren't!) But that's why some of my answers are 'yeah, why not'. If they had proven themselves untrustworthy in other areas, I would be more stringent on them for these.

 

From a driving contract a friend drew up:

 

1.1. First Period

 

The DRIVER is authorized to carry ONLY her BROTHER or SISTER or a passenger OVER the age of 30 years for ANY reason at ANY time during the First Period (first 3 months). The DRIVER also agrees to make no adjustments and/or channel changes to the radio/cd player/iPod while the vehicle is moving.. DRIVER also agrees to operate the vehicle within a 5-mile radius of DRIVER’S residence unless PARENTS give express consent for a given trip. The only exception is in the case of transporting someone to the hospital due to a life or death medical emergency. This First Period may be extended beyond 3 months at the sole discretion of the PARENTS based upon the driving of the DRIVER.

1.2. Second Period

 

The DRIVER is authorized to carry ONLY ONE passenger for ANY reason at ANY time during the Second Period (first 3 months after First Period). The DRIVER also agrees to make no adjustments and/or channel changes to the radio/cd player/iPod while the vehicle is moving. DRIVER also agrees to operate the vehicle within a 10-mile radius of DRIVER’S residence unless PARENTS give express consent for a given trip. This second period may be extended beyond 3 months at the sole discretion of the PARENTS based upon the driving record of the DRIVER.

1.3. Third Period

 

The DRIVER is authorized to carry a maximum of TWO passengers (in addition to BROTHER) for ANY reason at ANY time during the Third Period (first 12 months after Second Period). (This assumes that DRIVER has procured her Level 3 Full Provisional License from the NCDMV. Otherwise DRIVER is legally bound to carry a maximum of ONE passenger under the age of 21.) The DRIVER also agrees to make no adjustments and/or channel changes to the radio/cd player/iPod while the vehicle is moving.

1.4. Seat Belts

 

The DRIVER will wear her seat belt at all times while the VEHICLE is moving and be responsible to ensure that passengers comply with this N.C. traffic law.

1.5. Conduct

 

The DRIVER pledges to refrain from illegally consuming any alcohol; taking illegal or legal recreational drugs; smoking any legal or illegal substance; or partaking in any other illegal conduct. The DRIVER is also responsible to ensure that passengers comply with this rule. The DRIVER must be aware of and obey all local/state regulations.

1.6. Cell Phone

 

 

The DRIVER’s cell phone must be in DRIVER’s possession and sufficiently charged when using the VEHICLE. In obedience of NC traffic law, the DRIVER will find a safe place to pull over & stop whenever she answers or places calls and reads or composes texts on her cell phone. DRIVER shall call or text PARENTS upon arrival at destination and upon leaving destination. If PARENTS are not home, DRIVER will call or text PARENTS upon arriving home.

1.7. Use of Other Vehicles

 

 

DRIVER will also abide by these rules when driving any other vehicle, including other vehicles owned by PARENTS. Since seat belts are not available to passengers riding in the bed of a pick-up truck or rear of an SUV, the DRIVER shall not permit any passengers to ride in the bed of a truck or back of an SUV at ANY time.

1.8. Riding As a Passenger in Other Vehicles

 

DRIVER will also abide by these rules when riding as a passenger in any other vehicle, and also assume that the driver of that vehicle is bound by the same restrictions as those defined herein. Specifically, this includes, but is not limited to, the following restrictions: DRIVER will not ride as a passenger in any vehicle if the driver of that vehicle has been licensed for less than 3 months. DRIVER will be the sole passenger in any vehicle if the driver of that vehicle has been licensed for between 3 and 6 months. DRIVER will be one of only two passengers in any vehicle if the driver of that vehicle has been licensed for between 7 and 18 months.

1.9. Geography

 

After the two initial 3 Month Periods, DRIVER agrees to operate the vehicle within a 20-mile radius of DRIVER’S residence unless PARENTS give express consent for a given trip.

 

 

These parents are over the top in some cases (I wouldn't have stated it in these terms for one thing) but we did pretty much follow this when dd started driving.

[Ailaena]

Dd is just about to turn 16 and is working on her driver's license! Will you share your rules and other great ideas for driving, cell phones, and even other teenage rules, if they come to mind?

 

That's a very broad question, I know! Here are some of the things I'm wondering about (so far). We're just wanting to get started on the right foot with the right, balanced amount of rules.

 

~ If your child wants to go see friends, what rules do you have?

I need advance notice unless we are hanging around doing nothing for the foreseeable future. Before dd leaves I need to know where/with whom/when she will be home.

 

~ What age is it okay for your kids to go hang out with other kids with no adults present, such as meet at the mall or Starbucks? (Does that change if it's a mixed group -- guys and girls, hanging out as friends?)

I would have let do this @12 or 13 had she wanted to. She ended up being more like 17 before she started meeting friends at coffee shops.

 

 

~ What does your child need permission to do (with car or phone)?

Take the car anywhere, ever. At this point dd is 17 and the only phone rules are basic rules such as no texting/calling while driving, or at dinner, or anywhere that would be rude to do so. I also reserve the right to go through anything I want at any time. When she was younger, she shared the contents of every text she received, so it wasnt an issue.

 

 

~ Do you limit access to their phones, such as times of day or night?

Nope; don't see a point to it, although there have not yet been any issues.

 

 

~ Who pays for gas? (If teen, how do they earn the money?)

I do, because she rarely goes very far and she uses what little money she has for food/tickets.

 

 

~ What is a reasonable allowance for a teen driver?

I don't do allowances, but I would probably not raise the current allowance if I was paying for gas. If I made dd pay for gas, I would have her keep a log of her mileage so that she was paying a fair amount. I'd probably start with $20 and see how that went? How much do kids usually get?

 

 

~ Did you provide a car for your teen? If so, how do you treat that car -- as your extra car or his/hers?

She uses an extra car, it is NOT her car.

 

 

:bigear: Anything else?? I would appreciate your help!!

 

If I ever smell smoke/alcohol/whatever in the car, privileges are permanently revoked. She gets one accident, provided it is minor. She must know how to pump gas, change a tire and identify fluids that have leaked from the vehicle.

 

She must ALWAYS answer the phone, EVERY TIME, as well as text me back immediately. Any deviation from this will result in complete loss of privileges.

 

Also, if I request it, she MUST send me a picture of her surroundings. Weird, i know, but what if I want to make sure she is where she says she is?

 

[Donna]

 

~ If your child wants to go see friends, what rules do you have? Schoolwork must be done first and they have definite curfews. They don't do much visiting of friends during the school week because of afterschool sports and homework so this hasn't been an issue.

 

~ What age is it okay for your kids to go hang out with other kids with no adults present, such as meet at the mall or Starbucks? (Does that change if it's a mixed group -- guys and girls, hanging out as friends?) I have let mine start hanging out with a group at nearly 15yo...mixed groups are okay at another friend's home if I know the parents and the kids involved. Mine have gone places like mall or movies but we don't really allow hanging out at the mall and since kids can't drive here in NJ until 17, they always have someone taking them places.

 

~ What does your child need permission to do (with car or phone)? My boys have their own phones. They are not allowed to use them during school or during homework time or 10pm at night. My oldest just got his driver's license and must have permission to use the car.

 

~ Do you have extra rules for whom they take in the vehicle or where they drive or how late, etc., other than the state's rules? Our state rules are very restrictive for a provisionary driver (under 18yo). They are only allowed one other person in the car who isn't family and must be off the road by 11pm. I don't see any reason to limit it more than that. He must let me know where he is going and calls when he arrives and when he leaves for home.

 

~ What are your texting rules? No texting while driving.

 

~ Do you limit access to their phones, such as times of day or night? Already answered above...no phone during school or homework and no phone calls/texting after 10pm.

 

~ Who pays for gas? (If teen, how do they earn the money?) My son does not work yet because it is wrestling season so I will be paying for gas but once he has a job, it will be his responsibility.

 

~ What is a reasonable allowance for a teen driver? I don't give him an allowance. He earns money performing with his siblings or buying and selling wrestling gear. If he needs money for something, we give it to him but he has never asked for a lot.

 

~ Did you provide a car for your teen? If so, how do you treat that car -- as your extra car or his/hers? We have given him an old, extra car that still runs good. It is his car but he needs permission to use it.

 

 

:bigear: Anything else?? I would appreciate your help!!

 

[TravelingChris]

Hanging out at the mall? The one who wanted to do that has been doing that since she is 14, She has decided that she really doesn't like shopping much and has stopped doing it unless she actually has a reason to be at the mall.

 

No texting while driving.

 

Phone rules- we haven't had any problems so there are no restrictions.

 

Paying for gas- I foresee us as doing this until she gets a job.

 

I will be providing a car for my teen but she won't have ownership until she is 19, the legal age in this state. It also won't mean she can drive anytime she wants--- she will mainly be using the car to go to classes, clubs she belongs to, practices, volunteer work, and things like that. I also expect her to start doing some of the family chores like picking up something at the store, etc.

[LMV]

Dd is just about to turn 16 and is working on her driver's license! Will you share your rules and other great ideas for driving, cell phones, and even other teenage rules, if they come to mind?

 

That's a very broad question, I know! Here are some of the things I'm wondering about (so far). We're just wanting to get started on the right foot with the right, balanced amount of rules.

 

~ If your child wants to go see friends, what rules do you have?

Our oldest daughter is now seventeen. To an extent we let her hang out with her friends as long as she lets us know where she is going to be and when she will be home. She has had a cell phone since she was ten so we do have a way to contact her and she is responsible enough to let us know if plans are changing etc. *This also presumes that she is hanging out somewhere safe, not violating our rules/state laws, and upholding her responsibilities in terms of family, school, church, health and her committed activities. At this point that is pretty much second nature for her.*

 

~ What age is it okay for your kids to go hang out with other kids with no adults present, such as meet at the mall or Starbucks? (Does that change if it's a mixed group -- guys and girls, hanging out as friends?

Within a context of following conduct rules and the reasonable presumption of safety I would say that thirteen is an age we would start to consider this. It is kid dependent though and we let our oldest walk to get lunch with friends after a summer morning soccer practice a little younger than that. Our just turned thirteen year old is a little emotionally younger and seems to still need us closer than I think is really typical.

 

~ What does your child need permission to do (with car or phone)?

Our oldest daughter has her own car, however, she is still on our insurance so we do expect her to ask permission for non routine trips. She does drive herself to college courses, orchestra rehearsals, soccer practice routinely. If she is going to go somewhere beyond that we need to know about it ahead of time. Both of our older two daughters have their own cell phones and while they know that we have the right to look at their phones we haven't had a need to. They are both still on our family plan so we do get a quick view of calls just reviewing the bill.

 

~ Do you have extra rules for whom they take in the vehicle or where they drive or how late, etc., other than the state's rules?

She can take up to two friends that we have met before as a general rule. We might consider something else but it hasn't come up.

~ What are your texting rules?

No texting while driving and she doesnt and wouldn't do this.

 

~ Do you limit access to their phones, such as times of day or night?

We don't formally limit access because we haven't needed to. Our daughters understand that it isn't polite to text at all hours and we haven't had problems with them staying up late texting.

 

~ Who pays for gas? (If teen, how do they earn the money?)

Our daughter has access to the family gas credit card and she has been responsible with it. We don't mind paying for gas for trips that take her places we would take her if she wasn't driving herself (i.e. class, practice, etc). If she is going somewhere with friends she will usually pay for that. We do give her money from time to time because she is a great big sister (and in some families she would get paid for helping with her little sisters but she would probably never take money if it was offered with that explanation). She also has some money from the research program she participated in which paid her a stipend this summer and she has some modeling income.

 

~ What is a reasonable allowance for a teen driver?

I think if we were giving our daughter an allowance and not expecting her to supplement it with her own earnings we would probably need to give her at least $100/week.

 

~ Did you provide a car for your teen? If so, how do you treat that car -- as your extra car or his/hers?

Our daughter received a car for her sixteenth birthday. The car is hers but as long as she is on our insurance we feel we have some say in what she can do and where she can go. She respects this.

[Blue Hen]

We live in Delaware and I love their new driver's law. DS had to take driver's ed at the public school and then obtained a provisional license. He must be supervised by someone over the age of 25 for at least the first 6 months and this can extend to 12 months. During the supervised period the child is under the parent's insurance plan and there is no charge. That is a huge incentive to keep superivising. So, our boys have or will be 100% supervised driving for the first year-- or until his high school graduation. DS #2 got his license at 16 and is presently working through the first 6 months of his provisional license. We'll keep supervising him until his high school graduation too. I see no reason to turn the keys over to them earlier.

[Guest inoubliable]

Dd is just about to turn 16 and is working on her driver's license! Will you share your rules and other great ideas for driving, cell phones, and even other teenage rules, if they come to mind?

 

That's a very broad question, I know! Here are some of the things I'm wondering about (so far). We're just wanting to get started on the right foot with the right, balanced amount of rules. My oldest isn't quite there yet, but he seems to think he's going to wake up the day he turns 16, have his license in hand, and be ready to drive several hours away to see his cousins. We've started talking to him already. I'll throw in what we've already discussed/decided in our family.

 

~ If your child wants to go see friends, what rules do you have? For a beginner driver, I'd think non-school nights, short distances (20 mins away max), rare night driving would be appropriate. Until the kiddo gets more experience, anyway.

 

~ What age is it okay for your kids to go hang out with other kids with no adults present, such as meet at the mall or Starbucks? (Does that change if it's a mixed group -- guys and girls, hanging out as friends? Still figuring this one out.

 

~ What does your child need permission to do (with car or phone)? I'd say they'd need my permission to "hit the next stop". If DS told me he was headed to Charlie's house and then he and Charlie decided to go to Tony's house - he'd better call and ask me first. This has been expected of them in the past (when we lived in a community where this was possible) when they'd go to a friend's house and then want to take a walk down the street to a park. I need to know where they are. Period.

 

~ Do you have extra rules for whom they take in the vehicle or where they drive or how late, etc., other than the state's rules? I think this is going to fall under the "need to know" rule as above. If he says he's picking up Tiffany to go to a movie, he needs to call and ask me if Tiffany can bring her little sister Betty and Betty's boyfriend Lester. I need to know who he is with.

 

~ What are your texting rules? If he texts while driving, just once, and I know it - he loses driving privileges. I'm not sure how we go about getting them back or for how long. But texting while driving is a HUGE no-no.

 

~ Do you limit access to their phones, such as times of day or night?

 

~ Who pays for gas? (If teen, how do they earn the money)? I would. Unless it's something that's going to be quite a way from home. A friend's parents did this for her. They paid for her gas to go to school, extra curricular activities (practices and games, lessons), work, some friend time. When she wanted to go to a concert three towns over (she was 17 at the time), she had to earn the money for gas or save up her measly after school job paycheck.

 

~ What is a reasonable allowance for a teen driver? Depending on where they need to drive. If their "normal" driving (school and work-related) needs a full tank of gas, I'd base it on that. If they can get by on a half a tank, I'd base it on that. Then go from there.

 

~ Did you provide a car for your teen? If so, how do you treat that car -- as your extra car or his/hers?

 

 

:bigear: Anything else?? I would appreciate your help!!