If you owned a home business..

[Stayseeliz]

Would you be rude to others on a local email group knowing they could be potential clients?

 

I wanted to give away something on a local homeschool loop today that I could've easily charged for. I had one person email me and ask if I still had it. I said yes and to let me know if they're interested. I then had someone else email me and say they wanted it for sure and they'd come get it as soon I said it was a go. The other person didn't tell me they wanted it for sure until I'd already committed it to they first person who said, "Yes, I want it!". The other person got very upset with me and was fairly rude to me. I apologized over and over but I really don't feel like I did anything wrong. I told the first person that said they wanted it FOR SURE that they could have it. Is that wrong?

 

The catch is that this woman offers a service to the homeschool community that many people pay her for. My children have taken her classes before and I was seriously thinking about putting them back in her class next year. But now I have a very sour taste in MY mouth about her. Her husband has been rude to others on the loop too. Shouldn't an effort be made here? DH is self employed and if he went around being rude to others in public it would severely hurt his business. Just wondering if I'm off base here.

[StephanieZ]

Some people are just stupid. Some people are really bad business people. Some people have no impulse control. Some people fit in all of those categories.

 

LOL, these are just a few reasons why so many businesses fail.

 

Dh is a business owner. We are still "real" people in our "real" lives, but I certainly keep his business in mind when I am out in the "real" world, too. I've seen many business owners do things I would NEVER do, like putting religious info in their reception area, or political signs in their commerical property, or whatever. Personally, I think there are many reasons not to offend people, and keeping our business viable is one good reason. :)

[Catwoman]

Would you be rude to others on a local email group knowing they could be potential clients?

 

I wanted to give away something on a local homeschool loop today that I could've easily charged for. I had one person email me and ask if I still had it. I said yes and to let me know if they're interested. I then had someone else email me and say they wanted it for sure and they'd come get it as soon I said it was a go. The other person didn't tell me they wanted it for sure until I'd already committed it to they first person who said, "Yes, I want it!". The other person got very upset with me and was fairly rude to me. I apologized over and over but I really don't feel like I did anything wrong. I told the first person that said they wanted it FOR SURE that they could have it. Is that wrong?

 

The catch is that this woman offers a service to the homeschool community that many people pay her for. My children have taken her classes before and I was seriously thinking about putting them back in her class next year. But now I have a very sour taste in MY mouth about her. Her husband has been rude to others on the loop too. Shouldn't an effort be made here? DH is self employed and if he went around being rude to others in public it would severely hurt his business. Just wondering if I'm off base here.

 

 

Well, if the first woman was under the assumption that you would hold the item for her until she got back to you to let you know if she was definitely going to take it, then I can understand why she was annoyed to find out that you'd already promised the item to a second person.

 

If she said she wasn't sure that she could take the item, and you responded by telling her that it was first come, first served, then she has no reason to be upset if someone else beat her to it.

 

That said, she was fairly rude to you when you told her you'd promised the item to someone else, which isn't exactly great behavior, but depending on the circumstances, it might be somewhat understandable. I don't see why she would be held to a different standard of behavior just because she runs a business; if she was bad-mouthing you to the entire homeschool loop, that would be an entirely different issue, but as it is, the problem was strictly between the two of you, right? Why shouldn't she be able to tell you that she was upset with you?

 

Whatever the case, I wouldn't sign the kids up for any of her future classes, as I wouldn't take a chance that she won't hold a grudge against you and take it out on your kids.

[Stayseeliz]

The only thing she asked in the original email was if I still had the item. She made no mention of her interest at all. I told her that I still had it and to let me know if she was interested. I did not her heard back from her and she had not even said she was interested beyond asking if I still had it. The other person made it abundantly clear they they wanted the item.

[gardenmom5]

The only thing she asked in the original email was if I still had the item. She made no mention of her interest at all. I told her that I still had it and to let me know if she was interested. I did not her heard back from her and she had not even said she was interested beyond asking if I still had it. The other person made it abundantly clear they they wanted the item.

 

 

the fact she was asking if it was still available implies interest, though how much remains questionable. How long she takes to get back to you to say "yes, I want it", is entirely different.

 

that she and her dh are business owners who are rude to potential clients demonstrates they are not among the brightest bulbs in the box.

 

I've posted things for free on freecycle and been amazed that people think it is "owed" them (um, no.) and have gotten angry because I've passed it on to someone else.

[milovany]

Sorry, I think the lady has a reason to be bothered by the way it went down. You told her to let you know and you didn't wait for her to do so. She implied interest by asking if it was available (she wouldn't have asked if she wasn't interested). If you'd just said, "the first one to commit gets it," you'd have a point. But you told her to let you know and since she hadn't yet, you shouldn't have committed to someone else. Sorry! (If it was something like two days and you hadn't heard from her, I could see moving on, though).

 

ETA -- How much time WAS there between "let me know" and you agreeing to sell it to someone else?

[Catwoman]

How much time WAS there between "let me know" and you agreeing to sell it to someone else?

 

 

I'm wondering the same thing. Are we talking hours or days here?

[milovany]

I'm wondering the same thing. Are we talking hours or days here?

 

 

I ask because I admin a fairly large homeschool curriculum swap group on Facebook and am also an active member of an even larger local garage sale type swap group on Facebook as well, and I see this come up occasionally. Not everyone is on the computer several times a day or even every day. I think 24 hours is a minimum, with a couple of days even better, to wait for a reply if you say "let me know." Especially when dealing with homeschoolers.

[Catwoman]

I ask because I admin a fairly large homeschool curriculum swap group on Facebook and am also an active member of an even larger local garage sale type swap group on Facebook as well, and I see this come up occasionally. Not everyone is on the computer several times a day or even every day. I think 24 hours is a minimum, with a couple of days even better, to wait for a reply if you say "let me know." Especially when dealing with homeschoolers.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I agree with you about the whole situation.

[Cera]

I think what you did was fine. I am cleaning out my garage right now and have listed quite a few things on craigslist. I have gotten at least a half dozen "do you still have this" messages for each item that aren't followed up on. If I waited a day for every person that I responded yes to it would take me a month to get the stuff moved out of my way. When I see something I definitely want to buy from someone I email them back to that effect and include my phone number so they can immediately call me to set a time to meet.

[Stayseeliz]

If she had even said "Do you still have it? I'm very interested!" I would've thought more about letting someone else have it. But it was literally just "Do you still have it?". Beyond typing an email it didn't show interest to me. I know the loop wasn't craigslist but people write emails asking if people have stuff all the time when you post something on there. I went with the first person who said they would actually take it.

 

I do understand her disappointment but I think the rudeness was uncalled for. She is on a loop of potential clients. I don't think she has to act fake but I think it would be beneficial to her to be kind to others. My husband sells insurance and if he was on an email loop of potential clients you better believe he'd bend over backward to be kind.

[milovany]

I guess your mind was made up when you posted ;). Just thought I'd share my thoughts on the matter since you open the question. I see it a lot, and "is this still available?" usually means, "I'm interested in this item and I'm getting in line." Yes, it does leave an out if one decides they don't want it, but on all the swap boards I'm a part of, this is how things are done. I would have been frustrated, too. If you hadn't of invited her to let you know, my opinion would be entirely different here. Rudeness is of course uncalled for, if she was in fact rude and not just expressing frustration that you skipped over her when you'd invited her to let you know. Maybe in the future write, "First to commit to purchase gets the item" or "first come first served" (meaning actually coming to your house to get the item), or something similar to avoid any future confusion and frustration.

[Stayseeliz]

No I appreciate the feedback. I really do. I will add the "first one to commit and come pick it up" gets it for sure. I do think the "Do you have it?" says "Maybe I'm interested but I'm not committed yet." And frankly I didn't want this thing sitting around for weeks. I do see your point though.

[bettyandbob]

When I do freecycle, I give the item to the first people who commits to picking up with a specific time.

 

When I want an item, I respond by saying if the item is still available I can pick up after xxx time.

 

I know that if I ask a general question about whether the item is still available or even the condition of the item, then I'm taking the risk of someone getting in line in front of me. I thought most people handled these things this way.

[Stayseeliz]

When I do freecycle, I give the item to the first people who commits to picking up with a specific time.

 

When I want an item, I respond by saying if the item is still available I can pick up after xxx time.

 

I know that if I ask a general question about whether the item is still available or even the condition of the item, then I'm taking the risk of someone getting in line in front of me. I thought most people handled these things this way.

 

 

That is the way I thought most people did it. I actually got off my local freecycle loop because of the drama about who gets what. I usually take my things to Goodwill now. It's just easier. I won't be offering things on the loop again after this.

[milovany]

No I appreciate the feedback. I really do. I will add the "first one to commit and come pick it up" gets it for sure. I do think the "Do you have it?" says "Maybe I'm interested but I'm not committed yet." And frankly I didn't want this thing sitting around for weeks. I do see your point though.

 

 

I totally agree with what you wrote above. That's how I use the question "Is this still available?" I'm not committing, but expressing interest and I know it's possible someone else could get it because I haven't committed (although I also see it as getting in line). The part in question is the "let me know" part. If you'd have just said, "Yes, it's still available" and left it at that, I would be much more agreeable that you were in the right in moving on. Oh, well! Lesson learned.

[Stayseeliz]

I did say "Let me know if you're interested" not "Let me know if you want it" because at that point I didn't feel like she'd really even done anything but ask if it was my possession. But again, I do understand your point. :)

[Acorn]

If she didn't have an interest, why would she even write you to see if you had it. It is completely implied interest, but I would have waited a day or two cutting her out.

[GraciebytheBay]

I do think it's a good idea to say "First one to commit gets it". However, I disagree that one should wait 24-48 hours for a "Is this still available" email. If I really want something, I am pretty vigilant about checking email to see if I have a response. In the age of the internet, I think waiting 2 days to hear from someone is unreasonable. When I am giving something away, certainly I am trying to be generous and helpful, but I also want it out of here! You want it? Tell me soon and come get it. Otherwise, it goes to the first person to take it off my hands. I don't think you did anything wrong at all, OP.

 

On the other issue, I think she burned her bridge. My dh has a relatively high profile position. Our family is mindful of how we appear to others in public out of respect to dh and his position. He is not in business, but I think this is the same type of thing. How dh behaves in his "off" time and even how his family behaves could definitely have repercussions on his professional life. The woman you dealt with should know this. I probably wouldn't put my kids in a class with someone who was rude to me by email unless she offered something that they just couldn't get somewhere else.

[Stayseeliz]

I don't think I'm cut out for giving away free stuff on loops. I just want it gone. I'll take it to Goodwill next time. I hope this woman isn't too upset with me. I do see her from time to time but our paths don't cross too often.