Unicorn. Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 When do you stop buying Christmas gifts for nieces and nephews? My niece and nephew are 24 and 26. I always bought them gifts because they always came home for Christmas when they were in school. Last year I bought them gifts because niece had just graduated, and moved into a new apartment, and I got her some fun food related items (grapeseed oil, spice blends, etc) and my nephew had just moved to a state w/ snow, so I got him some practical things for snow life. My niece has changed jobs, moved again, and makes more money than my sister, and probably my dh. Nephew has also moved again, and I don't know if either of them will come to TX for Christmas. I kind of feel like it's time to remove them from the list, unless they participate in the drawing of names (which they did for 2 years), but then I bought for them last year, so now I don't know. I guess I just feel bad for not getting them something, but at the same time... they are adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Yes, we don't give past age 18. Just graduation, shower, and wedding gifts from then on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I don't have a hard and fast age. definitely 20's. I do give a 'family' gift for the great-neices/nephews (who are all younger than dudeling) and even that isn't expensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acablue Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I come from a pretty large family, so we've all agreed to stop giving gifts to nieces and nephews when they graduate from high school. Do you send cards or chocolate or anything to adult relatives? If you do anything like that, I would just move them over to the "adult" list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Do they buy gifts for you? If they show up with a gift for you, it could be awkward, so you would either need to let the family know in advance that you weren't buying the niece and nephew gifts this year, or else you'll probably want to have some backup "just-in-case" gifts tucked into a closet, in case they showed up with presents for you and your family. It might be possible to transition away from buying them gifts by giving them some homemade fudge or cookies, instead of something from the store, and mentioning that they're getting so old that you don't know what to buy them any more. That way, you'll still give them a little something, but not have to buy a gift. It's hard to buy for adults who already have what they need, and who make quite a lot of money, because you don't want to spend a fortune on them, yet inexpensive gifts don't seem to be enough. It's an awkward spot to be in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Never. We give gifts to married nieces and nephews as well as to their children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 DH and I are both one of six children in our respective families. I am currently pg with grand baby #14 on my side and #16 on his. There is no way we could buy gifts for all the nieces and nephews. Our sibling family groups draw/rotate names, so we just buy for the people we have for that particular year. No idea when we will stop. I suspect at some point it will evolve into a cousins exchange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 We haven't stopped yet (1 of 9 nephews/nieces is now in college), but I think I would stop at about where you are now. Even at this point, the kids on my side of the family just get money from most aunts and uncles as they're past the toy stage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted November 29, 2012 Author Share Posted November 29, 2012 Sounds harsh, but we don't give gifts to anyone over 18, except our moms. Not harsh at all, I think 18 or 21 was my original plan. But I like to give gifts, and I didn't stick to it, so now I'm unsure. My aunts and uncles never gave us gifts, so I don't have any personal experience to fall back on either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 My family always stopped at 13 (well, 12 being the last year for gifts). There were just too many kids to buy for, and everyone thought the cutoff age was reasonable. It seems arbitrary in dh's family. I've been with him almost 21 years (married 19) and still haven't figured it out. :confused1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 We don't give gifts to extended family at all. We buy gifts for our children and sometimes for each other if there is something we really want/need. Our parents and grandparents buy for our children and we give them cards. For and from everyone else, it's cards or nothing. We're not into the whole guilt of having to figure out what to buy for random people to celebrate Christ's birth. I know most families do big exchanges and stuff, that's just not something we've ever done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LearningMomm Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Never. We give gifts to married nieces and nephews as well as to their children. This! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I am struggling with this question myself. Our nieces and nephews on dh's side of the family live very far away. We never see them at Christmas time, but we always send a gift card to each of them (and rarely get thanked for them, but that's another story). One niece graduated in May and promptly moved in with her boyfriend. She is working and taking some classes. I don't know whether to send her a gift card or not. I don't plan to include her boyfriend, yet it seems weird to exclude her. On the other hand, our nieces and nephews on my side of the family live local and we spend Christmas with them. My oldest nephew is a Junior in high school, yet I doubt that I will stop buying for him after he graduates (he is a part of our lives). Not sure if we will ever stop??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I stop after college, unless, like one of my nieces/nephews, they are still in college at 24. Basically, college graduation or 22, whichever comes first. By that time, the older ones have jobs, and they have participated in the Christmas drawing with the rest of my extended family. The same with birthday gifts - I just sent my niece her last (probably) birthday gift for her 22nd. If any of my nieces/nephews want to reciprocate, I'm open to still getting them gifts, but so far only one niece does so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I don't understand why there needs to be an age when you stop buying for family or friends. There should be no hard, fast rule as to whom you should purchase gifts for. Gift-giving should be ruled by your heart and generosity. If you want to purchase a gift for someone, you should. If you no longer feel connected to someone or no longer want to purchase a gift, you should not feel badly for not doing so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 On my side of the family, never. My aunts/uncles still give me gifts (and I give to them). They are usually joint couples gifts. On dh's side, it stops with high school graduation, per their request. I do give to the great nieces/nephews on both sides too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 We only buy for the little kids and my immediate family. We have 7 neices and nephews on DH side and I have 9 that are actually cousins but we consider them nieces and nephew. We don't get them much, just a little something. The rest of my side makes considerably more money than we do, which is never award except for Christmas! This year we are moving, bought a house and have all the related expenses, I'm not sure we will buy for them at all, or if we do it will be 10 dollars Max per kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 We stop buying for holidays and birthdays when they hit 18. We still buy them other gifts though. When they move I might surprise them with something, when they get a job they were hoping for I might get them something. After 18 though I only buy gifts for those that I stay in touch with ad who are somewhat involved in my life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Sounds harsh, but we don't give gifts to anyone over 18, except our moms. This is what my husband's family does. And what we've decided to do (unless we have a more personal relationship with someone -- like they are our babysitter or something) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 It is different for each side of the family. On my dh's side - we stop at 18. His brother has 10 kids (biological, adopted and step). Many of them are now marrying and having families. We do give smaller (less than $10 or $15) to the two toddlers that have been born into the next wave of generation. And I still have a niece and nephew on that side that are under 18. We will continue as the babies arrive to give to the great nieces and nephews. Then there is my side of the family. My sister has 4 kids that are all married. We give each couple $20 that is combined with my mom and other sister pitching in $20 each - so they get a check for $60. My mom and sister usually send them some goodies with it. My sister does not have children of her own - so this is her joy. And the babies are beginning to arrive on my side as well - 3 so far - so we do the same for this next generation too. I don't know exactly how long I will continue to give the $20 to each couple. Right now - they are all in their twenties and starting families. I feel like it might give them a much needed night out. I wish somebody would have sent $60 my way when I was in my 20's - so I do it for them. Right now - I can afford it and will continue. I did stop sending $20 to one of my sisters this year. My mom and other sister send to her as well. We are not close at all. I felt like it was so strange to be sending her $20 each December and then again in April for her birthday. If we were close - I would probably feel different. So this was the year - I just told my mom nope - don't include me in it. I have gotten more and more cranky about giving gifts to just be giving gifts. I don't see the point of just giving something to somebody because of a date on the calendar. I want to give a gift because I love that person and want to share something with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen3kids Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Depends on the kids... On my side of the family, we give gifts to our nieces and nephews who are 18, 20, 20 and 22 (dvds or gift card usually). But my brother and I came to an agreement years ago that we would not buy gifts for each other's kids because we were pretty much exchanging Lego sets since our kids are close in age (although my sil loved to buy girlie stuff for my dd - she only has boys) On dh's side of the family, there is one niece and one nephew. We usually guy them a family gift, like a board game, and a book for each of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 My family always drew names because there were 10 nieces and nephews. My favorite aunt always either drew my brother and I (she and my mom were in charge of the name draw, and they usually rigged it to get each other's kids) or she would be a little something for my brother and I and give it to us privately. My mom would do that for her kids too. I think once the older nieces and nephews were in their 20s, we phased out. My aunt still buys something from me & my brother and we always get my aunt something. She's the only aunt we exchange gifts with though, and we're very, very close -- she and my uncle are like my other set of parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I get things for people whom I am most close to. I have people I have never seen or barely see that are closer to me than most of my family. If I am close with a family and they have young kids, I will get the kids something first. I mean I'd rather people get my kids something than dh and I if it were between us all. I have several cousins with kids and I am getting the little ones something small. We have a HUGE extended family though I am not close with many of them at all. However I do try to maintain a relationship with the ones that do have any interesting in us because most of our family is just screwed up and rotten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 We stop at high school or college graduation, whichever is their final experience. We've never had one go to grad school, but I doubt we'd continue for that. All of our nieces & nephews have graduated and we now get gifts for their children - 10 great-nieces & nephews. We do family gifts, though, so it works out to fewer gifts. I occasionally make their gifts too. That reminds me, I need to make two tie blankets this year for kids who have never received them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 When our family got large we stopped drawing names and all that stuff and I started making boxes of reindeer kisses for each family. My nieces and nephews all tell me they look forward to the box they get every year. It's not too expensive, I make four boxes for my family. Dh's family doesn't really exchange gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tita Gidge Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 We don't have a hard and firm rule, but it is generally around the time one graduates college, becomes married, or arrives near that age when his siblings have done so. Guilt by association! But we don't really stop, we just move him up to the "young adult list" - small token gifts, generally with an annual theme (picture frames, socks, reuseable bags, baked goods, etc) with everyone on the list getting a particular item on-theme. One stays on that list until one procreates, at which point he is taken off and his kiddies become the recipients of "real" gifts again. That's officially, though. We all have favorite siblings, neices, nephews, cousins and such that we always buy for. Everyone is someone's favorite, so it's no big deal and it all evens out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.