Scarlett Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 He will not listen. He cannot follow instruction without getting sidetracked. The latest is this: Near dark last night I told him to get up and get the trash to the road because pick up is this morning. There was a bag of trash outside the door that he had to carry to the garage where the cans are. And dh told him there was another bag outside the shop that needed to go as well. He went out the door. The bag of trash I put there disappeared. He came back and we ate supper. But guess what? The cans were not set out for pick up!!!! So when I realized this morning that cans weren't out and we had missed pick up for the week, I asked him about it. He gets a deer in the head light expression....remembering back.....then remorse, apology....I am so sorry Momma I just don't listen. This sort of thing happens enough that I feel it needs a consequence, but what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Perhaps since both you and he know he has this issue, you could agree that for a time, after finishing a task you give him, he is to report back to you EXACTLY what he just did. For example, after coming back in from taking out the bag of trash, he should come to you and said 'Mom, I took out the bag of trash like you asked'. That gives you the opportunity to say 'Ok son; think back to what I told you. Did you do ALL of it?' Hopefully he will remember on his own what he missed; but if not, it gives you a chance to repeat the instructions so he can get it all right. Alternatively, after giving instructions, you could have your ds repeat back to you what he is going to do. Sometimes that helps. For now, the natural consequence for not doing the garbage correctly would be that he has to clean up any messes made with the garbage by critters, since it's going to be sitting outside for an extra week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Is this new? It sounds a bit like ADD, but teen hormones also turn them into space cadets. Have him repeat all the steps he's supposed to do when you ask him to do something. More than once if necessary. I swear mine get worse as they get older. I think it's just normal for teenagers. My ds got distracted at least 4 times last night when he was supposed to clean out litterboxes, and he had the trash bag and litter scoop in his hand! So, :grouphug: , and welcome to the teen years. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Yes, it may be hormones. I honestly don't know how the middle school teachers do it. A whole room of them all day long! :crying: Thankfully it does seem to get better for most kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Yes, it may be hormones. I honestly don't know how the middle school teachers do it. A whole room of them all day long! :crying: Thankfully it does seem to get better for most kids. No kidding!! I hadn't been around middle school aged boys since, well, middle school. I had no IDEA how spacey they were until I had one of my own. I can't count the number of times I have said, "What were you thinking?" and "LISTEN. You need to LISTEN" over the past year. Luckily, I have a pretty sweet natured boy that seems just as perplexed by his inability to concentrate on anything as I am. I just have to repeat everything at least three times. I haven't really given him consequences because he is trying. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 29, 2012 Author Share Posted November 29, 2012 Bethany that does work... Having him repeat instructions and then report back what he did. It is just exhausting! It is relatively new behavior... And yes hormonal I am sure...he is having a little acne and even a faint mustache! He kept forgetting his towel when he got in the shower, so I had him write up a few paragraphs detailing the steps involved in taking a shower. That worked for the most part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 Really glad to know my guy isn't the only one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 I think it's a 12yo boy thing. Ask me how I know. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 My DS does stuff like this. He was home alone for lunch, I had cooked him a meal and left in the fridge. I had TOLD him that I left his meal in the fridge and he was to microwave it for his lunch. Twice. I come home... he had not eaten it- he claimed he did not know there was food and I had not told him. Since then, whenever I tell him something that is important, I make him interrupt whatever he is doing and LOOK me in the face while I tell him. Then I ask him to repeat what I said. That works, somewhat. It must be the age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 30, 2012 Author Share Posted November 30, 2012 My DS does stuff like this. He was home alone for lunch, I had cooked him a meal and left in the fridge. I had TOLD him that I left his meal in the fridge and he was to microwave it for his lunch. Twice. I come home... he had not eaten it- he claimed he did not know there was food and I had not told him. Since then, whenever I tell him something that is important, I make him interrupt whatever he is doing and LOOK me in the face while I tell him. Then I ask him to repeat what I said. That works, somewhat. It must be the age. Yep. My world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 So glad this is normal!! I love this age, he is hilarious and bright, and social able with everyone, and generally just fun to be around. But he is a total space cadet, even worse than the normal ADD he deals with, and he has been tearful and overwrought about silly things. And he stinks, like 15 minutes after a shower his hair smells again. He came back inside with the trash still in his hand last night. Who knows what he did when he went out there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 30, 2012 Author Share Posted November 30, 2012 So glad this is normal!! I love this age, he is hilarious and bright, and social able with everyone, and generally just fun to be around. But he is a total space cadet, even worse than the normal ADD he deals with, and he has been tearful and overwrought about silly things. And he stinks, like 15 minutes after a shower his hair smells again. He came back inside with the trash still in his hand last night. Who knows what he did when he went out there! I sent him to check the mail and told him to take his dog with him. 15 min later he and the dog return.....I ask about the mail.....deer in headlight expression....apparently he had laid it down on a rock while he investigated something important...probably a lizard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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