Age for making beliefs/values/faith your own?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Is there an age when children or teens evaluate or possibly reevaluate what they have been exposed to or taught by their parents and make decisions (conscious or not) to make those their own or to reject them or to modify them to suit themselves?

[texasmama]

I did this in my early adult years while in college, around the ages of 19-22.

[Guest inoubliable]

I'd say most people that I know did this in high school.

[LisaKinVA]

I have done this a couple of times...once between 19-23 ish, and once in my early-to-mid thirties (more a matter of degree than what I believed). I know some teens who start the process earlier, and some who have gone through it later, usually in response to a major life event at those times (death, for example)

[Elinor Everywhere]

I'd say in the 20s. I know that's the age I did...about 26-27 before I was done formulating my own thoughts/ideas/beliefs.

 

P.S. I'm not really done, because I'm always growing and open, but the basics were in place by then.

[happyhomemaker]

I would guess anywhere from logic stage on up. I remember seriously thinking through my faith in jr high and high school. I asked my parents and youth pastor a ton of questions. Kids will probably be more open about changing beliefs in college when they don't have to deal with disappointing mom and dad, but the beginnings of finding (or rejecting) their own faith probably start much earlier than that.

[Arcadia]

i don't think there is an age. People would evaluate and re-evaluate all their lives as their life experiences shape their perceptions of life.

[Guest inoubliable]

I would guess anywhere from logic stage on up. I remember seriously thinking through my faith in jr high and high school. I asked my parents and youth pastor a ton of questions. Kids will probably be more open about changing beliefs in college when they don't have to deal with disappointing mom and dad, but the beginnings of finding (or rejecting) their own faith probably start much earlier than that.

 

This. I was in fourth grade when I started asking questions but was uncomfortable with making any statements or acting on anything until I was out of the house. (I was raised in the RCC, but am atheist.) Same with politics. I suspect a lot of kids start thinking about these things, especially since the subjects are more "out there" via social media, at a much younger age than parents think. And, especially if those kids have conflicting ideas/thoughts.

[ccolopy]

My 12-year-old has already evaluated and (respectfully) rejected some of what his father and I believe. I'm sure some kids go through this even earlier.

[Liz CA]

Is there an age when children or teens evaluate or possibly reevaluate what they have been exposed to or taught by their parents and make decisions (conscious or not) to make those their own or to reject them or to modify them to suit themselves?

 

 

I think it varies widely. My ds went through this in his late teens. A friend's daughter who is 21 now seems to be struggling with this right now. Ruth Bell Graham said "God has no grandchildren and we all need to come to a faith that is our own." She herself went through this while studying at Wheaton College before she met Billy Graham.

[Audrey]

Is there an age when children or teens evaluate or possibly reevaluate what they have been exposed to or taught by their parents and make decisions (conscious or not) to make those their own or to reject them or to modify them to suit themselves?

 

IME and AFAIHS, that questioning starts around the early teens, but many young teens are reluctant to share their thoughts and feelings on the matter with their parents. Around the late teens, once some semblance of independence has been established, they may be less reluctant to discuss it and may feel more confident exploring further.

[gardenmom5]

I think it varies with the child.

I was in jr high after much cogitating, but didn't make that known until I was I was in high school and ready to deal with family fallout . (and the effluent hit the fan.)

my husband was a freshman in college

my kids were similar. high school - college freshman.

[RoughCollie]

DS1 told me he was an atheist when he was 12 or 13. He has not changed his mind. He is happy to discuss it any time. My other children are Christians, and my other sons thought about atheism too, and decided against it.

 

I do not think anyone can force themselves to believe in God.

[Joanne]

Any age. But such speculation, departure, seeking or shunning is a common patter in the teens.

 

For a Christian perspective, read Already Gone.

[Truscifi]

I knew I did not believe what most of my family believed when I was 8, but didn't really explore and develop my own beliefs until my early teens.

[KrissiK]

I have done this a couple of times...once between 19-23 ish, and once in my early-to-mid thirties (more a matter of degree than what I believed). I know some teens who start the process earlier, and some who have gone through it later, usually in response to a major life event at those times (death, for example)

This was me. It was in my early 20's when I decided that I needed to stop being a hypocrite and if I was going to say I was a Christian, then I'd better act like one. It was in my early 30's that I had another huge upheaval spiritually and moved to the Dark Side, though I was raised a staunch Arminian, and that's where I've remained.

[Mimm]

I did when I was in my 20s because that was when I was living on my own. I was raised in a family that did not welcome questions, did not encourage critical thinking about beliefs and would never accept a child rejecting the family's religion. Even to this day, no one knows what I really believe. My mother assumes I agree with her because I've never told her differently because she tends to frame everything in her life as being a reflection of herself. So if I rejected some of her beliefs, it must be because of how I felt about her.

 

Obviously I want to create an environment that's pretty much the exact opposite of that, but I worry that I'm not very good at it. Want them to feel that they can tell me anything and not be afraid of my reaction.

[chiguirre]

I was 13 too. Of course, you keep growing and changing and discovering new things your whole life long, but I started seriously thinking about what I believe versus what I was taught at 12 and came to a firm conclusion at 13.

[elegantlion]

Ds is starting to articulate some of his beliefs this year. I think he's been mulling it over for a while.

[ElaineJ]

It seems like logic stage is the usual beginning of this process, but I guess it would vary from person to person. I have a distinctive memory of when I first asked the question "Is this true?" about the faith in which I was raised. I was 11. Now that I am in my early 40s, I notice that a lot of the people around me my age seem to be going through this process for a second time.

Elaine

[Hunter's Moon]

I was about 13. I stopped attending church with my family, but they stopped about a year later as my father was questioning, too. For a few years, I simply did not care. I put no thought into it. Then, at about 16, I started really exploring. Right now, I am happy where I am, even though I am far from having all the answers and still trying to decide in which direction to go.

[Desert Rat]

I think I was on the younger side. I started earnestly thinking about religion at 16, separated from my birth religion by 20. The kids I grew up with seemed to follow a similar time frame. Of about 15 kids from youth group that I still stay in touch with 20 years later, about half returned to church after having kids. I found the numbers interesting.