DoppeltGemoppelt Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 My DSS(14) is currently attending public school. He is extremely smart and very capable of doing A level work. The problem is that he has zero motivation and does not care about any sort of consequences (taking away electronics or after school activities). He will consistently lie about any homework he has, and then get a 0 for it. My husband and I don't know what he has for homework until it's already too late. My question to those of you who have BTDT: Would keeping him home and attending an online school such as Penn Foster help us supervise his homework? Will it cause more friction in the house and just make it worse? I know that if we don't find a solution, he will end up as a dropout or repeat another year in High School! Please Help!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 If your son isn't doing his homework and doesn't care about consequences now, I would think he'd be the same way or even worse with an online school. Is he depressed or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 If your son isn't doing his homework and doesn't care about consequences now, I would think he'd be the same way or even worse with an online school. Is he depressed or something? Exactly. Possibly request an appointment with the Counselor in his school. Someone, hopefully, can help him change his ways. Possibly an adolescent Psychologist. Start in the school and try to find out from them, and from him, what is going wrong. GL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 My DSS(14) is currently attending public school. He is extremely smart and very capable of doing A level work. The problem is that he has zero motivation and does not care about any sort of consequences (taking away electronics or after school activities). He will consistently lie about any homework he has, and then get a 0 for it. My husband and I don't know what he has for homework until it's already too late. My question to those of you who have BTDT: Would keeping him home and attending an online school such as Penn Foster help us supervise his homework? Will it cause more friction in the house and just make it worse? I know that if we don't find a solution, he will end up as a dropout or repeat another year in High School! Please Help!!! I had a BIL that lived with me and did the same thing. I was able to set something up with his school to help. He had to carry a form around with him that each of his teachers initialed every day, it let me know if he was tardy, had turned in assignments, and what the homework was. They would not sign it until he had it written down. A bit of micro-managing, but it was the only year he was able to get B's . The rest of the time he was an F student, and eventually dropped out after moving in with grandma and he not seeing a need for the form. If this isn't available, a school planner could work, but teacchers need to be willing to take those extra steps. Maybe they have something like that at your school. Don't expect him to be happy about it and teachers may resist the extra work at first. Your best bet is to talk to the teachers, be upfront and honest about your concerns, and see what options they offer. Maybe they will be willing to maintain email contact with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoppeltGemoppelt Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 Thank you for the suggestions! We've worried that he may be depressed and talked to the school about it too. A counselor was supposed to talk to him, but nothing ever really came of it. Not sure where to go to from here. I think he just detests the idea of doing any kind of work, school or at home, and is trying to get out of it whenever possible. He also doesn't really have any long term goals, ideals or visions. This makes it hard for him to be motivated at all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Thank you for the suggestions! We've worried that he may be depressed and talked to the school about it too. A counselor was supposed to talk to him, but nothing ever really came of it. Not sure where to go to from here. I think he just detests the idea of doing any kind of work, school or at home, and is trying to get out of it whenever possible. He also doesn't really have any long term goals, ideals or visions. This makes it hard for him to be motivated at all... I think he sounds depressed. My DD16 has struggled off and on with depression since she was nine. It's tough! I suggest taking him to see a child psychiatrist. I wouldn't even get his school involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkateLeft Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I agree that the mental health piece should be the top priority. I have a child with severe OCD, and it can be tough finding resources to help. Have you contacted your child's doctor for suggestions? I agree with the previous poster. I'd forget the school and look elsewhere for help. One thing to consider with schools like Penn Foster and James Madison, (which is used by some folks we know in the speedskating community) is that they're pretty much self-study. They're correspondence schools, so there is little teacher guidance in scheduling assignments. If you're in a state that offers an online charter school option (like a K12 Virtual Academy, or Connections Academy), that might be a good solution. Your son would remain a public school student, would have accountability to teachers and regular daily assignments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joan in GE Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I know that if we don't find a solution, he will end up as a dropout or repeat another year in High School! Things do sound really serious....but just cracking down on the homework problem doesn't seem like it would address the underlying problems that are causing that behaviour now....If he's lied in the past - it won't be hard in the future. And online courses are ripe for other abuses if the person doesn't have the inner discipline already... That said, we took out one son due to difficulties and even though the year was really difficult - at a certain level we got our son back....If kids are really affected by peer pressure, then your opinions won't be so important to them....and you have to help them get away from peer pressure in a gentle and understanding way. So besides getting some kind of psychological advice, it would seem important to work on your relationship....Maybe you could do the deschooling that some people do when a person is coming out of the system at the same time as you work on the relationship.... If you might lose a year anyway with repeating, it might be better to consecrate that year to the relationship and rebuilding lost ground rather than have him sit through school repeating material.... HTH, Joan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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