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12 year old with physical disability


Guest nbmom
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Hi everyone, I recently joined this group and I'm not sure if there will be others out there within this forum that relate, but I need to try. I have 2 boys, ages 13 and 12. My 12 year old was born with a physical disability on his right side. Specifically this means that he used to walk on his right toes, instead of flat footed until he had surgery that mostly corrected this. He also doesn't use his right hand or arm much. He is contracted at the elbow about 40 degrees and his hand lacks any dexterity.

 

That being said, he is a very bright and normal child. He wants to do everything that his brother does, which is good and bad, because his brother seems to pick up things quite easily. These interests that they both share are skateboarding, guitar, and playing hockey.

 

Lately I've noticed my 12 year old getting depressed. Part of it is the age, but he's becoming sullen and mouthy, and I'm afraid to loose him to drugs and other negative ways of welf soothing. I feel it's very important to get him into something that he can be good at and will want to do. I need some suggestions from others out there as to activities I can get him into and ways to deal with his moods. Does anyone have a suggestion or thought? Thank you.

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If he likes sports, could he join the local special olympics team? Our community has an amazing group and every child gets to participate. Some kids who can do more, help those around them who can't do as much. It can help to take the focus on what "they" can do and puts the focus on those around them, instead.

 

My son, can't play any sports, he barely rides a bike. But he enjoys talking with the local farmers about crops, tractors and animals. Those men are a God-send to my family. My husband and son will go out to breakfast with these men, usually once a week. More often if Mom is letting Math slide until the afternoon.

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Any groups that match his/ your interests?

 

Our church youth group has been really great for my ds. Scouts...eh, OK.

 

Any relatives? I really wish we lived closer to my in-laws as I know my ds would really enjoy shadowing his uncles's at work and generally spending more time together.

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My dd has hemiplegia, which I think may be the same as your son. Her arm has never been very involved, but I can relate a little. She has an identical twin who is not affected at all and it is hard on her to see that sister, in particular, find everything so easy. My daughter does the same activities as her siblings, but, of course, she doesn't perform at the same level. For now, it's ok. We praise her efforts and her progress.

 

Maybe you could get your son involved in some kind of arts that doesn't require use of his affected arm? Maybe fine arts, singing, computer programming, or writing. It might be helpful to have him talk to a counselor a couple of times. He or she could help him work through his feelings, but more than that, counselors usually are aware of more opportunities for activities in the community. Or what about some sort of community service? Or animal training? I am a big believer in the positive impact of pets. If you're willing, a puppy and 4H dog training group could be fabulous for him. :grouphug: I know it is so hard to watch them struggle.

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Can you find an activity or 2 that is JUST his--animals was a great suggestion (horseback riding is wonderful if that is an option). It might be good for him to have something that his brother does not do and do better than him at.

 

Counseling for a few sessions might be helpful as well. Teen years are hard and they are really noticing how different they are (even if it is a very minor thing).

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If he likes sports, could he join the local special olympics team? Our community has an amazing group and every child gets to participate. Some kids who can do more, help those around them who can't do as much. It can help to take the focus on what "they" can do and puts the focus on those around them, instead.

 

Please do not take offense, but since it sounds like the OP's son has a physical disability only (neurologically intact), special Olympics would note appropriate for him. OP, look for for an adaptive sports program or 'club level' Paralympics program for your son which is specifically for individuals with physical disabilities.

 

http://www.teamusa.org/US-Paralympics/Sports.aspx

 

Here is a great place to start. Look at some of the different sports. SWIMMING is a GREAT sport for kids with physical disabilities, it is an individual sport, he would be working to improve his own time, if interested there is opportunity for competition against others with disabilities or hecan compete against able bodies, etc. Explore the site which will link you to clubs in your area, etc. let me know if you have any questions, my daughter is involved in many adaptive sports.

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