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Time for friends?


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I have a lot of "buddies" that I see at gymnastics, co-op, church etc but I don't feel like I have a lot of true friends. I know friendships take a lot of time and effort to build and with 4 kids, a self employed husband and almost no time to myself I don't know how to make lasting friendships. I don't have tons of time to chat on the phone, go out, etc etc. Is this just not the time in my life for that? Feeling kind of down today.

 

I really do want to be around others even though I am a bit introverted. It just seems like there is something else to do. Like yesterday I picked my son up from a class he's taking. I thought a friend of mine was at the library and it turns out a few people I knew were there. But I didn't feel up to chasing my 17mo all over the library and I kept thinking about the mountain of laundry at home and the need to prep dinner before football and cheer. So I just went home even though I would've loved to hang out. I feel so overwhelmed and I know many moms have more kids than me. Thanks for any advice.

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Yes, my life is very similar. I found that homeschooling in particular took away a lot of the time that I would otherwise have had for friends. While they were all at school I had time to do so many more things, and of course there was all that time spent dropping them off and picking them up from school when I had time to stand and chat with other mums and develop friendships. Even some of the friendships I had from that time (three years ago) have fallen by the wayside as I just don't have the time or energy to chat or to have people over. Funnily enough though, I'm really quite happy. I love my family, I love homeschooling and I wouldn't change a thing. I also wonder if we feel a greater need for 'friends' when we have very little ones and are maybe feeling a bit overwhelmed, struggling with our new life and identity as wife and mother. If having that kind of support is important to you maybe you should try to make it a priority in your life at the moment. Easier said than done, though, I'm sure.

 

:grouphug:

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I'm in the same boat- well, I'm way past toddlers, but my time is limited.

 

Make it convenient for *you.* Invite people over for coffee- and give a start/end time. Host a book club. Find out who lives near one of your kids' activities- there is a Panera close to dance & volleyball- two activities that it isn;t worth it for me to go home, but too long to sit and stare at the class. But just enough time for someone with a more flexible schedule to visit with me.

 

Good luck! :grouphug:

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