Schooling 3 or more: how do you keep sanity?

[honeymommy4]

..with lots of projects everywhere?

 

I'll admit i get sidetracked with things with the kids. We r doing a more eclectic, free style of schooling & i am SO burnt out after 3 days.. too tired 2 go anywhere but really tired 2 stay home & school.

 

It might just be this way because i have a 4mo baby... I just feel like i can never just gather my thoughts. I fee; so fried. this method seems to work 4 my kids but i am so burnt out. When we did it the scheduled/structured way without a lot of activities the kids were bored & oldest was wanting to go to school. :001_huh:

 

when i ask them to do something while i chill they just goof around the entire time. i should b playing with the baby & enjoying him but i am sooo worn out, :(

 

I don't know what to do to keep a balance...

Edited August 16, 2012 by honeymommy4

[Annie Laurie]

..with lots of projects everywhere?

 

I'll admit i get sidetracked with things with the kids. We r doing a more eclectic, free style of schooling & i am SO burnt out after 3 days.. too tired 2 go anywhere but really tired 2 stay home & school.

 

It might just be this way because i have a 4mo baby... I just feel like i can never just gather my thoughts. I fee; so fried. this method seems to work 4 my kids but i am so burnt out. When we did it the scheduled/structured way without a lot of activities the kids were bored & oldest was wanting to go to school. :001_huh:

 

I don't know what to do to keep a balance...

 

I feel like I could have written this!

 

I'm trying to make learning more engaging and really go with my kid's learning styles instead of my own comfort zone this year and am exhausted too.

 

I have a 21 month old who is not sleeping well and lack of sleep definitely affects things. With your baby being so young, I can imagine that you're not often well-rested either.

 

You have a full load with your kids being 8 and under, and they're so young yet. I really wouldn't push yourself too hard at their ages, when you have an infant. I would focus on the 8 yr old, get the basics done, and just let them explore. I know you said that's what you're doing already, but can you provide materials, ideas, and some guidance, but mostly be available while resting as much as you can while they explore things you have set out? Being on the go is tiring too, can you keep activities to 1 or 2 days a week?

 

Just a few ideas, none may be helpful since I don't know anything about your kids or what you're doing this year. Just try to hold on to the fact that they do get more independent as they get older! :grouphug:

[Amy Jo]

Wow. Well having a 4 mo old could be part of it. How helpful are your older two children? You might like these articles about obedience and chores. (Your children may already be helpful - but I've struggled here and made some progress in the last few years - it's helped a LOT to be able to say "load the dishwasher" or "put DDs clothes away" and know they will do a reasonably good job. Your 8yo can be your best helper right now!)

 

My personal method is more stories, more time outside, and very few projects. Now, I'm probably too far the other way, we will be adding in more science experiments and trying to learn a new handicraft as a family (probably one each winter). So if these are official / school projects are you all doing the same project? Can you cut the number of projects in half, and see if that helps? Maybe it's just too much for this season of your life.

 

If these are the kids' projects that they are doing on their own, then spend some time training them to only get one thing out at a time, and train them to clean up the whole area before they leave. (Still working on this too, especially with my 6yo, who is easily distracted.)

 

Anyway, :grouphug: don't worry - you are not alone. It might just take some trial and error to find what works for your family.

[justamouse]

It's going to be crazy hard till the baby is older and that's just the way it is. You can minimize the chaos, but at this point, you have to learn to surf it, rather than fight it.

 

There'll be many years to come where they all can help with the cleaning up and organizing, and when the baby is 6, the house will be calm and smooth, but for now, it's just chaos. BUT the older ones can be taught to help, and it will instill good habits for later.

 

Do what HAS to be done. Reading, writing, math. Leave the rest of the awesome unit studies, lapbooks, spectacular must have flavor of the year curriculum alone.

Edited August 16, 2012 by justamouse

[Alte Veste Academy]

It's going to be crazy hard till the baby is older and that's just the way it is. You can minimize the chaos, but at this point, you have to learn to surf it, rather than fight it.

 

:iagree: and :grouphug:

 

I saw the thread title and popped in thinking I might be able to help. Then I saw that you have more than three kids. I wanted to take a nap when I saw their ages. :lol: You are in the thick of it. I was utterly useless when I had an infant in the house. I have nothing but admiration for anyone who gets any schoolwork done with toddlers and babies in the mix. Give yourself grace. I do hope others with similar experience can offer you some great advice!

[arcara]

You have my life about 3 years ago :). The more kids I have, the fewer outside activities we have done. Now my kids each have two outside activities - one they can all go to together and another they go to separately, but is only an mile down the road and I get to drop them off there. Too much going on just doesn't make for a happy life in our family.

 

Also, talk about going to school nor about being bored would be permitted in our house. My husband and I have decided the kids will be homeschooled and it's not up for discussion (not that we've had to deal with this because my kids have little idea what regular school is). My children never want me to hear them say that they are bored because they know I will find them something to do and it often involved them being on their hands and knees with a bowl of baking soda and water and a toothbrush :)

 

I've also had to become smart about my curriculum choices. They just can't be teacher intensive. There are things out there that look like fun and I've been tempted to try (or have actually tried), but it won't get done if it relies on

me being there every minute.

 

Also, I don't really school little ones. If I sit on the couch with my 4yo and do 10 minutes of phonics, I consider that a good school day for her. I read to her when I can and we might do some basic math some time, but that's it. Otherwise I expect preschoolers to play, color, and do puzzles. I might get stamps, stickers, play dough, or paint out during the day for them. They have free access to paper, crayons, and scissors. I also make use of audiobooks and children's music CDs.

 

This year I will have a 5yo and my goal for her for K is to consistently do phonics/reading, math, and handwriting everyday. By the time my kids are 6yo I start adding in other subjects if they are reading well.

 

I also seRcond the suggestion that you teach your kids to do chores regularly. It will help you a lot and teach them some responsibility. My kids kinda like it when they know I'm counting on them to do things for me. And the younger ones like it when they are old enough to finally help in ways that only their older siblings have.

 

Anyway, I hope that helps a bit. Be patient. Try to remember to be joyful. Get everyone outside to exercise in the sun and fresh air when you can. Before too long we won't have little ones anymore and we will actually miss these crazy days!

[SewingMom2many]

I have a 2, 4, and 6 yo plus three older kids and the only thing that's helped me is to get on a regular schedule and stick with it. I spend a fair amount of time on the weekends planning/researching/printing things out so I can just go from one thing to the next. I don't have a baby though... that would really make it tough.

 

Wow. Well having a 4 mo old could be part of it. How helpful are your older two children? You might like these articles about obedience and chores. (Your children may already be helpful - but I've struggled here and made some progress in the last few years - it's helped a LOT to be able to say "load the dishwasher" or "put DDs clothes away" and know they will do a reasonably good job. Your 8yo can be your best helper right now!)

 

 

Thanks for these links!!

[5LittleMonkeys]

Could you get creative with your time and do school with the 2 or 3 older ones on the weekend when your dh can step in and be responsible for the baby and toddlers for a few hours? What about in the evenings? Would he be willing to take over the youngest ones from 7 to 8 so you can do a couple subjects with your olders?

 

I guess I'm thinking that in your situation right now a more structured type of school may work better. Something that you can pick up and do a few lessons of when you have the opportunity, and something your older dc may be more inclined to work on independently. It wouldn't have to be forever. Involved projects and littles just don't mix too well. You might find that you aren't as exhausted if all you have to think about is opening a book to the next lesson.

 

As far as getting your dc to work when you are trying to chill...that is partly a discipline issue, and partly you expecting too much of little dc. The longest my 1st and 4th graders will sit and work independently, knowing I'm not right there to re-direct them, is about 10 minutes for the younger one and 15 minutes for the other. You could try to set the timer and tell them to work for a short period of time, but asking them to keep at it for too long with your attention elsewhere is just asking for frustration.

 

:grouphug: I know it's hard to have an image in your mind of how you want your homeschool to run and struggling to make your life fit that mold. Take a deep breath and alter that image to fit your life right now. It's a season.:grouphug:

[NancyNellen]

You have my life about 3 years ago :). The more kids I have, the fewer outside activities we have done. Now my kids each have two outside activities - one they can all go to together and another they go to separately, but is only an mile down the road and I get to drop them off there. Too much going on just doesn't make for a happy life in our family.

 

Also, talk about going to school nor about being bored would be permitted in our house. My husband and I have decided the kids will be homeschooled and it's not up for discussion (not that we've had to deal with this because my kids have little idea what regular school is). My children never want me to hear them say that they are bored because they know I will find them something to do and it often involved them being on their hands and knees with a bowl of baking soda and water and a toothbrush :)

 

I've also had to become smart about my curriculum choices. They just can't be teacher intensive. There are things out there that look like fun and I've been tempted to try (or have actually tried), but it won't get done if it relies on

me being there every minute.

 

Also, I don't really school little ones. If I sit on the couch with my 4yo and do 10 minutes of phonics, I consider that a good school day for her. I read to her when I can and we might do some basic math some time, but that's it. Otherwise I expect preschoolers to play, color, and do puzzles. I might get stamps, stickers, play dough, or paint out during the day for them. They have free access to paper, crayons, and scissors. I also make use of audiobooks and children's music CDs.

 

This year I will have a 5yo and my goal for her for K is to consistently do phonics/reading, math, and handwriting everyday. By the time my kids are 6yo I start adding in other subjects if they are reading well.

 

I also seRcond the suggestion that you teach your kids to do chores regularly. It will help you a lot and teach them some responsibility. My kids kinda like it when they know I'm counting on them to do things for me. And the younger ones like it when they are old enough to finally help in ways that only their older siblings have.

 

Anyway, I hope that helps a bit. Be patient. Try to remember to be joyful. Get everyone outside to exercise in the sun and fresh air when you can. Before too long we won't have little ones anymore and we will actually miss these crazy days!

 

Lots of wisdom in here! I would second every single thing she said!

[razorbackmama]

What I'm about to share is based on my personal experience and what I "read" in your post. So I may be making some incorrect assumptions - for that I GREATLY apologize. Also you and I may have very different personalities, our kids may have different personalities, and our lives may be just very different lives. So take what you can use from my post and toss out the rest.:001_smile:

 

In no random order...

 

It sounds like your kids are ruling the roost. You are the mom. You know better. They do not. Consequently:

 

1. It sounds like they need to learn how to obey and/or occupy themselves better. You are at a TOUGH age since you have 5 age 8 and younger (BTDT! My oldest was 7.5 when my 5th was born), but you should be able to at least be able to put your feet up now and then.

 

Some ideas of how to do that:

Assign an older to a younger to keep them occupied/out of trouble

Enforce a nap time/rest time/quiet time in the afternoon

Give them something to do that is purposeful while you rest. If they refuse or do something else, then they can clean. Period.

 

2. Just like it's important to find a good match with a student's learning style, it's important to find a good match with a teacher's teaching style. Sure your kids may be having fun with what you are doing, but I'm thinking you won't be able to keep it up. One thing I'm learning is that acceptable and getting done is better than perfect and undone.

 

It is ENTIRELY possible to have a balance between structured and activities. You just plan the activities is all.:D Structured does not have to be boring. Find what works for YOU as a teacher. When you are more relaxed and comfortable with how things are going, school will naturally be more fun.

 

 

Also, one thing I discovered quickly after I had my 5th is that things are just DIFFERENT once you get beyond 4 kids. For me, I was able to do things the same with 4 that I did with 2, just on a larger scale. Once we hit 5 though, I had to completely change the way I did things. Everything from serving food to baths to how to go grocery shopping to school...it all had to be reanalyzed, and I had to come up with a different system to do it.

 

Managers of Their Homes has been a HUGE help for me - there is no way I'd be able to function as a mom of many without it, and definitely when it comes to school. As I said before, a schedule doesn't have to be boring...it just helps you know when the fun stuff is coming.;)

 

Hope this has helped some....

[SilverMoon]

First -- Who said I still have my sanity??? :tongue_smilie:

 

Next, make a routine. Stick to it. Look into a "loop schedule" for their academics.

 

Then decide which projects can stay and which need to go. Be choosy, and don't do every project that comes along. I am not much of a project type mom, but my kids love them. I limit them to no more than about two a week, and I try to only select the ones that will drive some learning home. The kids also have the supplies to do those all by themselves, when their school is done for the day. They're expected to clean up after themselves when they're finished, too.

[stm4him]

I agree that I don't always feel my sanity is in tact.....lol.

 

I am currently vegging on the couch. I'm 7 1/2 weeks pregnant with number 7 and took the night off. My ten year old made us potato and corn chowder by herself and my husband is doing the dishes while she wipes the counters. My three troublemakers ages 5, 4, and 2 are who knows where getting into who knows what. My 8 year old is pretending to clean the family room but he's really playing with his one year old sister.

 

I have to do my schedule in blocks. We have a morning block for morning routines and chores. Then we have a 5 hour block of time for school where I do most of my teaching. Then we have a shorter block for lunch, breaks, and music practice. We have an afternoon block for independent workbooks, naps, and running around for lessons and such. I don't do any real teaching at this time but I do often check over their work and read to the little ones. I'm not always good at doing that even though I love to. Then we have an evening block for dinner, devotion, and reading aloud to the bigger kids. I have a list of things to accomplish in each block of time as well as an order in which I usually try to do those things. That gives us a structure and routine without a minute by minute plan.

 

I have not made the little kids do certain things at certain times during school but they have to stay within 3 rooms that are in earshot and if they are in the schoolroom they have to be sitting quietly doing something. I am considering giving them specific things to do, but we'll see.

 

As for projects, they are optional. I am planning to make a small binder for each in which they can put copies of the project instructions from their various workbooks from Veritas or wherever they find a project they want to do. Then in the summer we will try to make time to do those. If I already have the supplies on hand or they are really easy to get and I remember I let them do the project if they can do it with very little assistance and can clean it up. My daughter tends to want to do them and my son doesn't care as much about them. I am learning to let go of not doing them all! I feel overall that I spent too much time in the beginning of our homeschool years buying and gathering supplies for these projects which for the most part had little lasting value. I think it is better for the real skill work to be focused on during the school hours I have to give my full attention and projects can fit in as we have time or as the kids are motivated (and old enough) to do them. The one thing I do recommend is to keep a lot of craft supplies on hand. That makes it easier for them to have a chance at doing them.

 

HTH!

[kemilie]

I feel your pain, as I've been trying to picture how smoothly school will run once #5 arrives sometime in the next 7 weeks at my home... :)

 

My plan is to survive and have no expectations for at least 3 months. I specifically picked "easy" curriculum that can be completed without too much brain power on my part.

 

Try to get the math and reading done, and tell yourself you will regroup in one month. And maybe institute a chore system if you don't have one already? (I just started one this summer and it's worked wonders... )!

 

Apart from that, something I wrote down and try to remember - play to YOUR strengths as a mother and try to let go of the rest of your ideas of what you should be doing with them. Easier said than done. For example - I LOVE the IDEA of being a super crafty and fly by the seat of my pants always coming up with fun tangents type of Mom. But it's just not who I am. So I always end up feeling guilty because I'm not doing those things, or I end up feeling stressed out when I try to go against my nature and do them. But instead I can try to focus on what I do well. When I go with my nature it's easier to stay calm in the face of small children.

 

All that being said to point out - do YOU like the type of schooling style you're doing right now? I know the kids like it, but if it's not working for you... it's going to be awfully hard to keep up. And your sanity counts for something!

 

Good luck!

[sagira]

I'm worried about homeschooling two and having an 18-month-old running around, and here you're all talking about homeschooling three already :tongue_smilie: Taking notes, as eventually I'll be there! :bigear:

[NancyNellen]

Also, one thing I discovered quickly after I had my 5th is that things are just DIFFERENT once you get beyond 4 kids. For me, I was able to do things the same with 4 that I did with 2, just on a larger scale. Once we hit 5 though, I had to completely change the way I did things. Everything from serving food to baths to how to go grocery shopping to school...it all had to be reanalyzed, and I had to come up with a different system to do it.

.

 

:iagree: When my fifth was three, my husband gave me some great advice that changed how I approached all of my duties at home. He said, "I think you need to consider yourself a small business and act accordingly." It forced me to rethink how I did things and to change up some things to become more efficient. It really helped me to focus on training my children to be obedient, helpful, and hard-working on a daily basis. It really makes all the difference in the tone of the home when everyone is cheerfully pitching in.

[kemilie]

:iagree: When my fifth was three, my husband gave me some great advice that changed how I approached all of my duties at home. He said, "I think you need to consider yourself a small business and act accordingly." It forced me to rethink how I did things and to change up some things to become more efficient. It really helped me to focus on training my children to be obedient, helpful, and hard-working on a daily basis. It really makes all the difference in the tone of the home when everyone is cheerfully pitching in.

 

Nancy, I love that analogy. :) Thanks for sharing!

[sagira]

:iagree: When my fifth was three, my husband gave me some great advice that changed how I approached all of my duties at home. He said, "I think you need to consider yourself a small business and act accordingly." It forced me to rethink how I did things and to change up some things to become more efficient. It really helped me to focus on training my children to be obedient, helpful, and hard-working on a daily basis. It really makes all the difference in the tone of the home when everyone is cheerfully pitching in.

 

I agree; what a great quote!

[razorbackmama]

:iagree: When my fifth was three, my husband gave me some great advice that changed how I approached all of my duties at home. He said, "I think you need to consider yourself a small business and act accordingly." It forced me to rethink how I did things and to change up some things to become more efficient. It really helped me to focus on training my children to be obedient, helpful, and hard-working on a daily basis. It really makes all the difference in the tone of the home when everyone is cheerfully pitching in.

I think he is onto something there!!!!! Maybe that's why I have schedules and lists hanging all over the place LOL!!!!!

[NancyNellen]

Nancy, I love that analogy. :) Thanks for sharing!

 

I agree; what a great quote!

 

I think he is onto something there!!!!! Maybe that's why I have schedules and lists hanging all over the place LOL!!!!!

 

Yeah, he's a pretty smart guy. I think I'll keep him. I definitely like my lists and schedules :tongue_smilie:

[happycc]

my advice would be use a the library a lot and read lots of books but that is easy to say....

 

I am too neurotic to follow that.

 

So I have lists, schedules, charts.

 

I have a schedule where I write each person's name down in columns on the white board in the living room.

Then in rows -9:00 it says what each person is doing, 9;30, 10:00, 10:30 etc. Each child switch off every half hour with one child caring/teaching/entertaining with the toddler/baby (the littles). This include diaper changes, reading to them, throwing out and washing poopy potties, wiping behinds, going over letters whatever (I have an area that just stores the littles educational stuff so the biggers can go and get the littles stuff to play with them). During each half hour I am working one on one with someone with direct instruction or correcting work. I have a little alarm that goes off or we just watch the time carefully. Some thing I have scheduled for a child is lunch meal prep, clear and clean table. One of my ten years old preps lunches as I am busy teaching. This gives her practice in nutrition and such. It will switch off to another child the next semester. I try and schedule group work during nap time of the littles. My 3yrs old is now able to color and draw with us and pretend to do school with us while we are reading aloud or Story of the World or science stuff.

 

I have a list of daily chores/activities in that that they have to do before we start school in the morning-wake up, make bed, get dressed, go to bathroom, do your chore-empty dishes, load dishes, sweep and mop, laundry-each child gets a chore until it is fully mastered (once mastered consistently then they may be able to switch chores), eat breakfast, brush teeth..these must be done before school starts or else chores will be done during free time.

 

The kids also have a sticker chart for their chores as well. For ten stickers, they get a small bag of jelly beans. There is a blank spot on the chore chart for any extras chores I might have.

 

If they finish any books/workbooks/curriculum they have a prize. We go on a field trip or perhaps a vetted toy or something like that.

 

Each child as an area that stores their worksheets/books.

 

Right now most of the stuff is open and go and wing it too. They have a daily lesson plan book that they fill out what they learned in each subject or half hour time.

 

I have my postpartum curriculum for when the baby is born all written out which will be eeek textbooks. For now I am doing all the hands on stuff I can before the baby is born.

 

 

Everyone has to do their part in order for things to function well.

 

So far my kids say they love their new schedule. We are done by 6:00pm and helps things run more smoothly.

[purduemeche]

We have eight kids eight and under, so I feel your pain!

 

Here are a couple things we have done to maintain sanity (and school progress):

 

1. No projects from September through May - only during summer

2. Dad teaches just as much as Mom, which means school lasts from 8 am to 10 pm.

3. Our oldest four kids do all of the dishes, laundry hanging and laundry sorting.

4. Eliminate almost every activity not related to your core family mission. This has included limiting soccer and baseball teams.

5. Spring for date night every week, no matter what.

[LindaOz]

..When we did it the scheduled/structured way without a lot of activities the kids were bored & oldest was wanting to go to school.

This made me think about a book I read recently which tells of a homeschooling mom of 10 who ran her homeschool in a very structured way. She said that because she was so structured they got a lot more schoolwork done in a short amount of time leaving many hours for free activities and creative pursuits. She said that her structure didn't stifle enjoyment and creativity but actually promoted it because the kids knew what they had to do when, and could then move on to other things. It made a lot of sense to me. I personally like to have a very structured time in the mornings where the essentials can be tackled, but then it actually gives us more opportunity for projects and fun stuff in our day. A little structure is a good thing. It can be very freeing. :001_smile: Just my thoughts.

[razorbackmama]

This made me think about a book I read recently which tells of a homeschooling mom of 10 who ran her homeschool in a very structured way. She said that because she was so structured they got a lot more schoolwork done in a short amount of time leaving many hours for free activities and creative pursuits. She said that her structure didn't stifle enjoyment and creativity but actually promoted it because the kids knew what they had to do when, and could then move on to other things. It made a lot of sense to me. I personally like to have a very structured time in the mornings where the essentials can be tackled, but then it actually gives us more opportunity for projects and fun stuff in our day. A little structure is a good thing. It can be very freeing. :001_smile: Just my thoughts.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[kemilie]

I like that thinking. Rationalization for my obsessive scheduling and comfort with "order" and "getting things done" in the morning. It's all in the name of teaching them creativity!

 

In all seriousness though, I do think that's an excellent point. :) It's hard to thrive in the middle of chaos, there has to be some type of order! And core subjects seem to do best when consistently tended to!

[Spetzi]

I didn't read every response.

 

If the project is to be left out (to dry or still in progress) there needs to be a spot for it. If it's to be put away at meal time, make sure it gets put away. Otherwise you'll have mess upon mess (BTDT too many times!)

 

Have the kids clean up while you're making meals. It gives them something to do and starts a routine of picking up.

 

Give yourself enough time to get enough sleep at night so you can be more productive during the day instead of dragging yourself through it because you decided to mop the floor at midnight (BTDT, too!)

 

Don't be hard on yourself or the kids. I like the image of surfing rather than fighting against the force.

 

Best of luck!

[honeymommy4]

I kind of needed that smack in the face to realize what was happening & how to stop it. We are incorporating MOTH and MOTC currently now.

 

Do you recommend the MOTS approach to schooling as well? I am trying to decide what to use for history/ literature/spelling, etc.

 

do you recommend using textbooks like Abeka to streamline things?? THANKS! :D