Hello! My child is advanced!

[Parrothead]

So is this sort of thing status quo and I just need to get over my hang up' date=' or would you be scratching your head too?

 

[/quote']

Don't worry about it. Sooner or later some mom will show up with a kid more advanced.

[Dmmetler]

Don't worry about it. Sooner or later some mom will show up with a kid more advanced.

 

 

And in my case at least, I breathe a sigh of relief and am ready to hang on to that mom for dear life-because it's scary feeling like you can't keep up with your child, and even worse when you feel like everyone else is able to follow a path and be in control, and you can't.

[Truscifi]

This is what I do. My kids are both all over the place - above "official" grade level here, below there, right on level somewhere. <shrug> I assume most kids are like this. Obviously there are kids who are highly gifted in just about everything, some not so much, etc.

 

I know people can feel clumsy when they try to explain things. I am a very clumsy communicator sometimes. So I try to shrug it off.

 

What really bothers me is when the kids themselves say it. I have met kids who say "I'm in third grade, but do fifth grade math." I am not even sure why young kids are told what grade level they're working in. My kids never knew and they never saw their test scores.

 

Outside of close friends who share homeschooling woes, I've never heard anyone say "my kid is in 8th but doing 6th grade math." ;)

 

Ds does this sometimes. Not as a conversation opener - we've taught him to just say what grade he would be in if he went to ps. But if someone inquires further than that, he tells them. He isn't bragging, he's just excited. He doesn't necessarily give grade levels, but he might say he is learning how to work with negative numbers or whatever because he finds it interesting. Sometimes he does say a grade level, which he knows because he reads the cover of the book he's working in. ;)

 

Sadly, he doesn't do this as much anymore because he doesn't have any age peers who have the same interests, and some kids have made fun of him. :glare:

[6packofun]

So a six year old ISN'T typically in Kindergarten? Why is it necessary to give the grade levels of every subject? What "grade" does that put them in if they're at 6th in one and 8th and 9th in others? I really don't get it. (Actually, I do, and it's called boasting for the sake of "clarification".)

 

Most of my kids read above grade level, but it doesn't change the fact that they're in 3rd or 4th grade, etc. We adjust what work they do in SOME areas, but that doesn't mean my 7yo was a freshman in high school. Unnecessary info in a very casual conversation. If we want to get into specific books, programs, and methods, etc. that's another conversation.

[MommyK]

I get the standardized test issue. In Michigan, we have the dreaded MEAPS. It's a nightmare and a cruel joke. But that's a WHOLE NOTHER thread y'all.

[Dmmetler]

I've never understood how such a comparison can even be helpful. They can choose any grade level then, couldn't they? I mean, if a 4th grader can do well on the 1st grade test, so can a 10th grader. Why don't they list 10th grade? How do they choose which grade level to use? Whenever I had to do a standardized test, the scores always left me confused.

 

 

It's been years since I took educational testing and assessment, but IIRC, the GLE score is the minimum level at which the norming sample at that grade scored at that level. That is, all the 4th-12th graders got those questions right, therefore it's a 4th grade GLE. There were a few sections on the SAT-10 that DD took in 1st where a perfect score was only something like a 2nd grade GLE, presumably because by 3rd grade all the kids in the norming group got the questions right. I believe a perfect score on that one was only something like 70%, too-which means that 30% of 1st graders got every question right.

 

All in all, such tests show you whether your child does well on such tests, and not much else.

 

There also are some darned misleading reading tests out there. The STaR for AR leads a lot of parents of PS kids to claim really high reading levels, but the fact is that it's not a reading test-it's a vocabulary test at best. Just because a child can choose the best sounding word for a sentence that's using 12th grade vocabulary doesn't mean he/she reads on a 12th grade level or is ready for 12th grade content-but that's exactly what the STaR reports.

[KAR120C]

You're applying a public school concept of a certain age child doing a certain grade's work. People are reacting to that. And then you are reacting to that by thinking that they are bragging when it probably wouldn't have come up if you hadn't brought up kindergarten work. So. . . change your script.

I agree. If you choose a grade for them and they disagree, you kind of started it.

 

The most obnoxious I have ever been about grade level was when I signed DS up for Sunday School without a grade level (which was fine every other year - it was a combined K-5th group) and the mom taking the registration forms quizzed me about his age and birthday and school situation and decided based on his summer birthday, male gender, and homeschooling that he should be enrolled two full years BEHIND his age.

 

When I objected she said he was short too.

 

I imagine she didn't appreciate all I had to say on the subject at that point, but I would never have brought it up if she hadn't first.

 

Two hundred threads tagged grade level. Apparently it's not as straightforward as one might think.

[Dmmetler]

Ds does this sometimes. Not as a conversation opener - we've taught him to just say what grade he would be in if he went to ps. But if someone inquires further than that, he tells them. He isn't bragging, he's just excited. He doesn't necessarily give grade levels, but he might say he is learning how to work with negative numbers or whatever because he finds it interesting. Sometimes he does say a grade level, which he knows because he reads the cover of the book he's working in. ;)

 

Sadly, he doesn't do this as much anymore because he doesn't have any age peers who have the same interests, and some kids have made fun of him. :glare:

 

We've run into this too-my DD's gymnastics coach would ask what the kids did in school, and DD would get excited and start talking about extracting cube roots-only to get put-downs from older kids. It didn't help that DD was on the young end of that particular class. I finally switched her day to one where she was one of the older kids, precisely because that way if she said something advanced the other kids just figured that was something they were going to learn later, and didn't take it as a put-down.

 

There was also one point where DD was asked what grade she was in, and her first response was "In what?", and then went on to explain that she was using a 5th grade math book and a 3rd grade handwriting book, and a 1st year Latin book, and that she didn't know what grade US history or Biology were. That was when we had the "grade means they want to know how old you are, not what you're actually doing at school" discussion.

[SKL]

So a six year old ISN'T typically in Kindergarten?

 

Well, not necessarily. Many kids finish KG at 5 and some turn 6 well into 1st grade. In my family only a third were 6 at the end of KG.

 

That said, it's easy enough to answer "they finished 1st this year and yes it was fun, thanks. How about your daughter?"

[Dana]

I know so many people who get hung up on, "s/he's doing 5th grade math, so even if he's 7, he needs to be classified as a 5th grader." Sheesh! At times there's been confusion in the homeschool circle around here because the planners of an activity would advertise it as "for high schoolers", and invariably this one 10 year old would show up. The mom would say, "Well, he's doing 9th grade work, so I thought it would be okay." And the teenagers would wind up "babysitting" her kid, or, at the very least, being annoyed by him. His mom was one of those who would go ballistic if someone questioned her on something, so in order to keep the peace, everybody pretty much just let it ride.

 

Yes... but... ;)

 

We have homeschool zoo classes that are divided by age range. My son will be 10 this fall and I'm signing him up for the 11-14 class. I've received permission from the instructor who's had him in classes before. He's interested in attending the older classes and said he hopes he'll learn stuff he didn't already know.

 

If an activity is primarily social, it makes sense to be age-based, but if an activity is primarily academic, I think it should be based on where the kids are academically.

 

If we were told we needed to stay in the class based on age, I don't know that we'd be doing the class this fall. And I'm sure there are some people who push their kids ahead, but if a 10yo is really doing 9th grade work, why shouldn't they attend a program for 9th graders?

[Munchkins_mama]

We ran into something like this with the PS putting DD on a pedestal. Don't get me wrong, she's very bright, and we are very proud of her, but the school touted her as some kind of their own accomplishment.

She was in a 'gifted' group (high standardized test scores, but honestly, she's a pretty happy and average kiddo. I think she just tests well) that met a couple times a week. They walked the kids through a project where they did experiments they could apply statistics to. That said, these experiments were fully guided. From what I understood, the kids just followed orders, you know?

The children then made posters explaining their experiments. DD won 2nd place in a state competition for her poster. It was a thrill for all of us, but I felt so uneasy when they 'presented' her to the schoolboard. I thought it was an opportunity for the board to say "Oh hey! Great job!" to the kiddos, when it turned out, it was more the group leaders and principal saying "Hey, look what WE put out.."

 

Am I making sense? It just sat ill with me.

 

 

My ENTIRE point to this is, I just hate to see kids ranked and placed. I know it's a struggle not to, because of the way our popular system is set up. I'm also now feeling the urge to stay quiet about starting to homeschool, because if I mention it, I'm immediately challenged about it, and am afraid I won't have the right answers, and then I enter the 'Well my kid accomplished this so it's okay...' mindset.

 

We had this too. My oldest was doing very well at public school and when I told them I was taking her out to homeschool, the principal pulled me aside and asked if I wouldn't please let her stay because her test scores were pulling up the whole school! After having her home a while, I realized that ( while I do love her and think she is fabulous) she isn't as advanced as they said, she just tests really well. She is great at learning the info for the tests and forgetting it a day later.

[FairProspects]

Yes... but... ;)

 

We have homeschool zoo classes that are divided by age range. My son will be 10 this fall and I'm signing him up for the 11-14 class. I've received permission from the instructor who's had him in classes before. He's interested in attending the older classes and said he hopes he'll learn stuff he didn't already know.

 

If an activity is primarily social, it makes sense to be age-based, but if an activity is primarily academic, I think it should be based on where the kids are academically.

 

If we were told we needed to stay in the class based on age, I don't know that we'd be doing the class this fall. And I'm sure there are some people who push their kids ahead, but if a 10yo is really doing 9th grade work, why shouldn't they attend a program for 9th graders?

 

:iagree:For academic programs, I want to be able to bump ds ahead because I am not paying $200+ per week to a summer camp for him to be bored. Now for church, social, or athletic programs, I have no problem placing him by age.

[marbel]

Yes... but... ;)

 

We have homeschool zoo classes that are divided by age range. My son will be 10 this fall and I'm signing him up for the 11-14 class. I've received permission from the instructor who's had him in classes before. He's interested in attending the older classes and said he hopes he'll learn stuff he didn't already know.

 

If an activity is primarily social, it makes sense to be age-based, but if an activity is primarily academic, I think it should be based on where the kids are academically.

 

In my experience, this can work if the parent has a realistic view of the child's abilities, both social and academic, even if the program is strictly academic in nature.

 

So many times we've been frustrated because a program will be advertised for a certain age/grade level, we fit the level, but someone brings in a kid who is below the stated minimum but who really isn't mature enough. Then, the child is either disruptive or the content is adjusted to fit the younger person.

 

This happens a lot with large families who want to travel in a group, I've found. I feel for moms of large families who would need to find a sitter for the youngers if the olders are to participate in something. My child configuration is very easy! So I try to understand.

 

But when a homeschool mom recently organized a trip to the art museum for middle- to high-schoolers, it was hard not to feel some frustration when people started replying: "can my 4th grader come too?" "can my 7-year-old join in?" Really? 7? :confused:

 

I think it's great if the organizers know the child well enough to know he can fit into the group despite the age/grade difference, like the example above. Everyone wins! In the case of our art museum trip, the organizer didn't know the younger kids, and stood her ground. She took some flak for it from some parents; others thanked her. ;)

 

ETA: Of course there is the problem of a kid being within the grade/age range, and still being disruptive, immature, etc. But I guess that's another topic.

Edited July 14, 2012 by marbel

[Pamela H in Texas]

And I'm sure there are some people who push their kids ahead, but if a 10yo is really doing 9th grade work, why shouldn't they attend a program for 9th graders?

 

Because 9 out of 10 people claiming that their 10yo is ready for 9th grade academics in the same way a 9th grader can do it are full of baloney. Like the other poster said, a LOT of the times, allowing it ends up being an issue in the class because the 10yo can't write that well, sit that well, cooperate/participate at that level. He may well do 9th grade materials at home, but doing it in a group setting is considerably different. And most moms, especially when their oh-so-gifted kid is their first child, have no idea what a maturity (socially, emotionally, academically) difference there really is.

 

(ETA: Please remember, as you read this post, that 90% of statistics you read on the internet are false :) ).

 

ETA: When it is a smaller difference (a 10yo going into a class for 11 and 12 yr olds) or when people know the kid in question OR when the information is backed up somehow, it is fine to make allowances, IMO.

Edited July 14, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[melmichigan]

I went through a phase of saying too much while my kids' education plans were in a state of confusion. Being a stickler for honesty, I would get clumsy when I didn't have a simple answer to a seemingly simple question.

 

I think that when someone says too much, they are usually feeling defensive or in desperate need of a sympathetic ear. Parents of accelerated kids might feel defensive because there is so much social pressure to give kids "the gift of time."

 

:iagree: I hate these introductory conversations and avoid discussing school at all costs. My DC have been prompted to say "we're homeschooled, you'd have to ask my mom" and then give their ages when asked their grade levels. There are a few people IRL outside of my immediate family that understand where my different kids are at (and they are all over the place with five of them). I've learned to be really cautious of answering even their honest questions when other people are around.

 

I get the standardized test issue. In Michigan, we have the dreaded MEAPS. It's a nightmare and a cruel joke. But that's a WHOLE NOTHER thread y'all.

Please don't even go there.

[justLisa]

If ever I am asked what grade my kids are in, I just say "he/she is 8/6 years old." I think usually people ask what grade to find out what age....so I just tell them the age up front:tongue_smilie:

 

Really though, DS is just turned 8, should be going in to third, but he literally works at at LEAST 1 or 2 grade levels everywhere. This is probably because he did "K" at 4ish and has just always been very focused and eager. After DH and I talked about it for a while, we realized it is ok to just tell him 4th this year, because that is what grade he would at least be tested in to. And he does not have a single friend his age anyways. He was born an old soul. But, I do NOT broadcast his abilities to anyone, and if anyone asks HIM his grade, he will just tell them. He does not go on about it. Doesn't mean he has strengths/weekness. He hates writing, though we still worked at a 3rd grade level last year. Math, he is almost finished with elementary math and ready for some pre algebra this year. But, it's obvious when you talk to him for a while. I only give information when it is asked for specifically.

 

I do find it funny at times when some people try to "test" their knowledge of something wondering if HSers really are "normal." I have lots of teacher neighbors/friends of kids.

[Library Momma]

This thread is so interesting to me because I guess in my world things are so different. Where I live the pool of parents that homeschool and the pool of parents that utilize the ps are very similar. Educated people who take a vested interest and actively participate in their children's education.

 

The public elementary schools routinely have approximately 95-98% of students reaching the "goal" level for testing and 70% reaching the "advanced" level. Goal level usually indicates what people would consider grade level in this state and advanced is usually a few "grade levels"ahead. People never use those terms though because in each instance the score they get is a range of grades. For instance a score a 3rd grader may achieve in the test that indicates "advanced" may place ranges them in the range of 3rd grade to 6th grade in a particular subject. I guess some could say that child is working at a 6th grade level but it would be silly to do so because 70% of their class is at that level and it is meaningless. That is the level the cirriculum is geared towards and students are increasingly challenged as necessary.

 

Many homeschoolers take the same or similar tests and even when they don't, they often use grade level to indicate age. The only time I really hear "bragging" is when it comes to athletic ability or when we are talking about 3 and 4 year olds. I once read that 90% of the parents of 4 year old think their children are gifted. That I believe!

[Murphy101]

Personally, I agree w/Tim Hawkins.

 

"We're homeschooling, and have no idea how our kids are doing. What grade are they in? How old are you, boy? 9? He's in 9th grade." :lol:

 

:iagree: I avoid mention of my kids supposed grade levels. I discuss subjects and their ages.

 

"He's 14 and loving his Literary Lessons from Lord of the Rings for English."

 

Because 9 out of 10 people claiming that their 10yo is ready for 9th grade academics in the same way a 9th grader can do it are full of baloney. Like the other poster said, a LOT of the times, allowing it ends up being an issue in the class because the 10yo can't write that well, sit that well, cooperate/participate at that level. He may well do 9th grade materials at home, but doing it in a group setting is considerably different. And most moms, especially when their oh-so-gifted kid is their first child, have no idea what a maturity (socially, emotionally, academically) difference there really is.

 

(ETA: Please remember, as you read this post, that 90% of statistics you read on the internet are false :) ).

 

ETA: When it is a smaller difference (a 10yo going into a class for 11 and 12 yr olds) or when people know the kid in question OR when the information is backed up somehow, it is fine to make allowances, IMO.

 

I 100% agree!!

 

And as a side note, I have forbidden my kids from watching over other kids at such events. It royal ticks me off that bc we have a large family other people presume my kids will watch/guide their kid for them. No! I didn't pay for the field trip or class to give some other parent a break from parenting their own kid. Oh and if you don't want your younger child exposed to typical teen conversation, then don't bring them to an event geared for older kids. No, I'm not going to tell my kids they can't discuss dating or whatever because your precious has arrived.

 

Obviously this irks me.:tongue_smilie:

[Jen500]

It's not the worst thing a person could say. It doesn't bother me. I don't tend to volunteer pretty much any information about myself until I know someone or directly asked. But not everyone is like me.

 

:iagree:

[SorrelZG]

Probably the mom misunderstood the standardized test scores. I know I did at first! 4th grade math means the child did as well as a fourth grader taking the test would do, not that the kid is doing 4th grade math. I might be tempted to ask if the kid enjoys division...

 

 

What test is that grading system for? And how is it that figured out? The only one I am familiar with actually tests up the grade levels so you will really know what grade level they are at but I am aware there are other tests that don't work that way. I have no idea how they work though and like NightElf, don't really understand how one measures how well someone of a specific grade would do on [another specific grade level] test.

[Dmmetler]

What test is that grading system for? And how is it that figured out? The only one I am familiar with actually tests up the grade levels so you will really know what grade level they are at but I am aware there are other tests that don't work that way. I have no idea how they work though and like NightElf, don't really understand how one measures how well someone of a specific grade would do on [another specific grade level] test.

 

 

This is something you see on paper/pencil, non-adaptive tests. Oral or computer given adaptive tests do indeed test up the grade levels until you get to a given skill level. On paper/pencil, non-adaptive tests, a certain percentage of the test is content above grade level. For example, there might be a few multiplication and division questions on a 1st grade test. When the test is "normed", a range of ages/skill levels are included in the norming sample for comparative purposes.

 

The purpose is to let teachers/schools see which children are able to handle content above grade level and could benefit from enrichment. However, it becomes completely worthless the second people begin prepping specifically for the test. There's a difference between a 1st grader who has figured out multiplication independently and one who has memorized multiplication facts-but the test won't sort that out.

[SorrelZG]

This is something you see on paper/pencil, non-adaptive tests. Oral or computer given adaptive tests do indeed test up the grade levels until you get to a given skill level. On paper/pencil, non-adaptive tests, a certain percentage of the test is content above grade level. For example, there might be a few multiplication and division questions on a 1st grade test. When the test is "normed", a range of ages/skill levels are included in the norming sample for comparative purposes.

 

The purpose is to let teachers/schools see which children are able to handle content above grade level and could benefit from enrichment. However, it becomes completely worthless the second people begin prepping specifically for the test. There's a difference between a 1st grader who has figured out multiplication independently and one who has memorized multiplication facts-but the test won't sort that out.

 

Thank-you so much for taking the time to help me understand. I appreciate it!

[FairProspects]

I once read that 90% of the parents of 4 year old think their children are gifted. That I believe!

 

I believe it too.

[beaners]

Probably the mom misunderstood the standardized test scores. I know I did at first! 4th grade math means the child did as well as a fourth grader taking the test would do, not that the kid is doing 4th grade math. I might be tempted to ask if the kid enjoys division....but I'm recovering from surgery and feeling snarky! I agree with the other poster: sure sign of a newbie homeschooler. I know I was convinced I had a blooming genius when my first was in kindy:lol::lol:

 

I've seen many people misunderstand test scores in this way...

 

 

I'm sure some people do misunderstand test results, but I really hate the assumption that everyone is just misinterpreting results and mistaken about what their child is capable of.

 

IF I were to tell someone a reading level for my oldest child, it would be what she can actually read and comprehend. You could grab a book at that level off my shelves. She could read it and discuss it with you later. We haven't gotten into high-level literary analysis yet though. ;) I don't think it makes her a __-grader, and I'm not telling everyone I meet.

 

"Extra" sharing can be unnecessary without being inaccurate, you know?

[catz]

:iagree:For academic programs, I want to be able to bump ds ahead because I am not paying $200+ per week to a summer camp for him to be bored. Now for church, social, or athletic programs, I have no problem placing him by age.

 

I think it's fine to ask permission to bump your kid. That's not really bragging - it's asking for accommodations. I did this a few times when my son was younger. The problem I found is that he wanted to click socially with the group too, but he's already small for age so he wouldn't necessarily blend easily with the next age group up interest or size wise. So in many circumstances, I think it's also fine for a teacher to say sorry we won't accept younger kids too.

 

I've found the best fit when I pick something where my kids are at the bottom of the age range and the interest area is likely to attract gifted kids anyway (like computer programming or marine biology). Preferably something taught by an expert actually educated in their field that can answer endless questions. Not even necessarily something that's marketed towards gifted kids. Sometimes the GT groups aren't social enough for my kids (both extroverts). And if I can't find something along those lines, I just skip it. I don't want to spend $200 to find out none of the older kids will talk/interact with my kid either. If it's a year or less age difference, then I might ask. My son misses a grade cut off by a month and 1/2 so I don't feel too bad about bumping him up to the next grade up. I've gotten extremely picky about what I will spend money on in this regard.

 

But when a homeschool mom recently organized a trip to the art museum for middle- to high-schoolers, it was hard not to feel some frustration when people started replying: "can my 4th grader come too?" "can my 7-year-old join in?" Really? 7? :confused:

 

:iagree: I signed my 7 and 11 year old up for a 3 hour science class at an aquarium this spring marketed 8-12 year olds (my younger turned 8 this summer) and was told it was going to target the older end of the group. I knew this probably wouldn't be perfect for my oldest, but we thought we'd try it because they're do a series and it's very hands on. My younger hasn't gotten to try as much of this stuff as my older. Well a couple 5=6 year old GT kids showed up (one of them had their Mensa t-shirt on :001_huh:) and my 11 year old almost went out of his mind with the tone and feel of this class. The mother went on and on about how hard it was to educate this child. Clearly a newbie. :D I cannot tell you the level of whining I had to endure from my oldest! My 7 year old did enjoy it.

 

I think these newbie homeschoolers with young kids just assume everyone around them is a sea of average. Many homeschool families are going deeper, wider, faster than average anyway. And as brilliant and wonderful as your GT 5 or 6 year old is, my GT 11 year old is not likely to click with them. And honestly a more average 11 year old isn't going to either. This is another thing that has kept me from throwing my 11 year old in with high schoolers. If we need those kind of accommodations for certain areas, we homeschool them. Tis the beauty of homeschooling! :001_smile:

Edited July 14, 2012 by kck

[Haiku]

For academic programs, I want to be able to bump ds ahead because I am not paying $200+ per week to a summer camp for him to be bored.

 

I understand that, but sometimes I think people forget that a lot of kids in homeschooling family spend a lot of time with younger siblings, and going to something that is supposed to be for kids near their age is an opportunity for them not to have to hang out with the littles. And then someone(s) brings their littles in, and it's frustrating for the older kids.

 

I think this is something that people who have relatively younger kids might not always think about or understand.

 

Tara

[FairProspects]

I understand that, but sometimes I think people forget that a lot of kids in homeschooling family spend a lot of time with younger siblings, and going to something that is supposed to be for kids near their age is an opportunity for them not to have to hang out with the littles. And then someone(s) brings their littles in, and it's frustrating for the older kids.

 

I think this is something that people who have relatively younger kids might not always think about or understand.

 

Tara

 

I can see that, but we actually haven't run this issue in homeschool settings at all, I think because homeschoolers in general are picking more interesting topics to explore. :D I've never needed to adjust a co-op class or field trip. It has mostly just been a community summer camp problem when combined with PSers in camps that divide by grade.

[joannqn]

You're applying a public school concept of a certain age child doing a certain grade's work. People are reacting to that. And then you are reacting to that by thinking that they are bragging when it probably wouldn't have come up if you hadn't brought up kindergarten work. So. . . change your script.

 

"Did he have a fun year?" or "What kinds of things is he into?"

 

Now. . . since you said that you didn't even know that they homeschooled until that point, I would counsel them to change their script too. I would just say, "Yes" to the kindergarten comment and not explain further. But that's because people often just don't understand how homeschool differs so much from public school in the sense of being more individualized.

 

Great answer, Jean.

 

I often cringe when I'm asked what grade my son is in or how old he is because everyone seems to assume that he'll get along great with their same grade/age child. DS rarely likes boys his age. He has a hard time finding common ground with or even holding a conversation with them. I tend to fall into the too much information in trying to deal with it. He gets along best with boys two years older, and they seem to accept him well too.

[LaxMom]

Huh. I just say my kids are in whatever year they're in, regardless of what perceived level of work they're doing. They ARE a year ahead of their same aged peers, but that is simply because the public schools have been eking back the birthday cutoff for K for the past 10 years so, where kids in PS couldn't start K until they were about to turn 6, mine started K the school year they turned 5. They're not "advanced" so much as started earlier.

 

I see this phenomenon with various groups of parents - homeschool, public/private school, sports... Less so with my homeschool friends, who tend to do the same thing we do - where every parent wants you to know why their kid is superawesomeoverthetop special before they bother to ask your name. Either they are waxing on about how advanced their kid is, or you know the poor child's entire psychiatric history within five minutes of "hello". It's weird.

 

My kids are regular kids. The do the math they do, and read what they read, and do the things that interest them. Some things come easy, some things are challenging. That's life. Everyone has those different areas.

[Plucky]

Huh. I just say my kids are in whatever year they're in, regardless of what perceived level of work they're doing. They ARE a year ahead of their same aged peers, but that is simply because the public schools have been eking back the birthday cutoff for K for the past 10 years so, where kids in PS couldn't start K until they were about to turn 6, mine started K the school year they turned 5. They're not "advanced" so much as started earlier.

 

I see this phenomenon with various groups of parents - homeschool, public/private school, sports... Less so with my homeschool friends, who tend to do the same thing we do - where every parent wants you to know why their kid is superawesomeoverthetop special before they bother to ask your name. Either they are waxing on about how advanced their kid is, or you know the poor child's entire psychiatric history within five minutes of "hello". It's weird.

 

My kids are regular kids. The do the math they do, and read what they read, and do the things that interest them. Some things come easy, some things are challenging. That's life. Everyone has those different areas.

 

:iagree: I just tell them the grade they would be in if they were at school. I held one child back a grade and I may hold another. Stupid adhd and developmental delays. But I don't share that with anyone who doesn't need to know.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Usually that's how you know they haven't been homeschooling very long. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

:lol: :hurray:

 

These are the ones that drive me crazy, "Well, he should be in 6th grade, but he's doing 8th grade work."

 

Sorry, but who gives a carp?

 

I've also seen this a lot with kids who are using a popular online school. I think it's a gimmick by the school to make the parents think their kids are really smart and they'll continue to use the school.

[FairProspects]

I see this phenomenon with various groups of parents - homeschool, public/private school, sports... Less so with my homeschool friends, who tend to do the same thing we do - where every parent wants you to know why their kid is superawesomeoverthetop special before they bother to ask your name. Either they are waxing on about how advanced their kid is, or you know the poor child's entire psychiatric history within five minutes of "hello". It's weird.

 

My kids are regular kids. The do the math they do, and read what they read, and do the things that interest them. Some things come easy, some things are challenging. That's life. Everyone has those different areas.

 

I think this is great, unless your kid obviously stands out in some way, and then it can bite you in the butt. I've had it go both ways frequently - either my kid says or does something inappropriate and I have to explain that there is a special need, or he says something so detailed that people raise eyebrows and ask me how x grader knows that or ask if he is really in x grade. Either way it's not pleasant (and probably not their business), but it usually does require some kind of social pacifier or clarification. Kids like this make people uncomfortable and desire an explanation. I don't go out of my way to volunteer information, but it usually comes up through one of these situations. I often wish it didn't (and I've learned a lot of generalizations like "Oh, he just likes science"), but there it is.

Edited July 15, 2012 by FairProspects

[acablue]

I've heard similar things a few times. I don't really get the point.

 

Yes, I understand that your 8 year old isn't coming to a K-2 science class to be stretched academically. The 6th grade science you do at home must be a lot of fun. 8th grade spelling? Didn't know that existed. Reads at a high school level? Awesome! Hasn't ready Harry Potter yet because of mature themes? What high school level books has he been reading? "Mom, tie my shoe."

[PeacefulChaos]

I've heard similar things a few times. I don't really get the point.

 

Yes, I understand that your 8 year old isn't coming to a K-2 science class to be stretched academically. The 6th grade science you do at home must be a lot of fun. 8th grade spelling? Didn't know that existed. Reads at a high school level? Awesome! Hasn't ready Harry Potter yet because of mature themes? What high school level books has he been reading? "Mom, tie my shoe."

 

Ok that made me :lol: for real. :D :lol:

[ereks mom]

Bingo! We've had this conversation on this very board many times over when people have asked what grade to call their dc. It's a fundamental misunderstanding of what a grade level does and does not mean.

 

I have to laugh when I meet homeschoolers who have homeschooled for one year and their dc give me a lecture on why they don't have a grade level. I can tell they haven't left the house much yet. :D In the quest to be as un-public-school as possible, many go overboard at first. Eventually, you realize that you just need a grade level to appease strangers, Sunday School teachers, and museum guides.

 

There is also a false idea among homeschoolers that reading at a certain level means they can complete that level of work. It doesn't speak to their maturity, learning skills, etc. It just means that they can read well. :)

 

:iagree: Exactly!

[ereks mom]

Yes... but... ;)

 

We have homeschool zoo classes that are divided by age range. My son will be 10 this fall and I'm signing him up for the 11-14 class. I've received permission from the instructor who's had him in classes before. He's interested in attending the older classes and said he hopes he'll learn stuff he didn't already know.

 

If an activity is primarily social, it makes sense to be age-based, but if an activity is primarily academic, I think it should be based on where the kids are academically.

 

If we were told we needed to stay in the class based on age, I don't know that we'd be doing the class this fall. And I'm sure there are some people who push their kids ahead, but if a 10yo is really doing 9th grade work, why shouldn't they attend a program for 9th graders?

 

In your case, your ds isn't that much younger than the kids with whom he's going to grouped. But in the case I cited, there was a 10yo whose mom wanted him grouped with the teenagers, and he did NOT fit in. It was unenjoyable for the 10yo because he couldn't relate to anyone else, and for the older kids because the 10yo was invading their space. The question isn't ability, but maturity. The other participants (teens, in the case I mentioned) tend to be quite resentful of the younger kid because, well, he acts like a younger kid. His mom thought, "Well, he's doing 9th grade work..." and maybe he was, but his ability didn't matter as much as his immaturity. It was bad enough that the rest of the homeschool group hated to see them show up--the kid because the teenagers thought he was obnoxious, and his mom because the other adults saw her as "pushy". I just want to warn you about that because I wouldn't want you to be "that mom", and I wouldn't want your ds to be resented.

Edited July 16, 2012 by ereks mom

[ereks mom]

I think it's fine to ask permission to bump your kid. That's not really bragging - it's asking for accommodations. I did this a few times when my son was younger. The problem I found is that he wanted to click socially with the group too, but he's already small for age so he wouldn't necessarily blend easily with the next age group up interest or size wise. So in many circumstances, I think it's also fine for a teacher to say sorry we won't accept younger kids too.

 

I've found the best fit when I pick something where my kids are at the bottom of the age range and the interest area is likely to attract gifted kids anyway (like computer programming or marine biology). Preferably something taught by an expert actually educated in their field that can answer endless questions. Not even necessarily something that's marketed towards gifted kids. Sometimes the GT groups aren't social enough for my kids (both extroverts). And if I can't find something along those lines, I just skip it. I don't want to spend $200 to find out none of the older kids will talk/interact with my kid either. If it's a year or less age difference, then I might ask. My son misses a grade cut off by a month and 1/2 so I don't feel too bad about bumping him up to the next grade up. I've gotten extremely picky about what I will spend money on in this regard.

 

I signed my 7 and 11 year old up for a 3 hour science class at an aquarium this spring marketed 8-12 year olds (my younger turned 8 this summer) and was told it was going to target the older end of the group. I knew this probably wouldn't be perfect for my oldest, but we thought we'd try it because they're do a series and it's very hands on. My younger hasn't gotten to try as much of this stuff as my older. Well a couple 5=6 year old GT kids showed up (one of them had their Mensa t-shirt on :001_huh:) and my 11 year old almost went out of his mind with the tone and feel of this class. The mother went on and on about how hard it was to educate this child. Clearly a newbie. :D I cannot tell you the level of whining I had to endure from my oldest! My 7 year old did enjoy it.

 

I think these newbie homeschoolers with young kids just assume everyone around them is a sea of average. Many homeschool families are going deeper, wider, faster than average anyway. And as brilliant and wonderful as your GT 5 or 6 year old is, my GT 11 year old is not likely to click with them. And honestly a more average 11 year old isn't going to either. This is another thing that has kept me from throwing my 11 year old in with high schoolers. If we need those kind of accommodations for certain areas, we homeschool them. Tis the beauty of homeschooling! :001_smile:

 

I think people forget that a lot of kids in homeschooling family spend a lot of time with younger siblings, and going to something that is supposed to be for kids near their age is an opportunity for them not to have to hang out with the littles. And then someone(s) brings their littles in, and it's frustrating for the older kids.

 

 

Yes. :iagree: with both posters.

Edited July 15, 2012 by ereks mom

[Stacy in NJ]

about how brilliant their kid is then they're bragging about something else. It usually comes from a place of insecurity. Don't let it bug you.