Need Help

[EricaB]

Hi there, I have been spend a bit of time on the curriculum board in order to get organized for what is now, my near future. I saw this board and decided to post this in order to maybe calm down regarding some current issues we have been having.

 

I have been doing unit studies with my DS and DD and my DS is now wanting to start Kindergarten work. We have always done skill building workbooks with both kiddos, along with Bob Books and MUS Primer with my DS. I beefed up his math this year by adding Singapore EarlyBird since it added a little more fun and color, and I thought I needed to slow down a bit since we were getting into counting by 2's. Meanwhile we most recently started him on some phonics file folder games. I did this due to some depressing behavior with him wanting to do more, but my lack of teaching him was holding back his learning. He wanted to read "real" books. After only one day, his reading was better and he was even more pleased with himself after the second day. So, my next purchase has been the McRuffy Phonics program and A Reason for Handwriting, which I didn't think I would need until next year, AND I am sure I will need to fork out more $$ to buy the next level soon. Even my DD will retain and regurgitate information and songs DAYS later after only one encounter.

 

We are implementing a heavier bible program this year to lay a foundation for other things we would like to do in this area in the near future, while continuing with our path of McRuffy, Sinapore, and MUS. I also have a few science and literature unit studies that we will do through Hands of a Child Lapbooks and Evan-Moor PreK theme books. My DD is doing a Kindermusik class by herself while I teach my DS to play the piano and they will also both be involved in a multi-sports class. By next year, I will start the Winter Promise Animals and their Worlds and supplemental notebooking and maybe a little geography while throwing in our own music appreciation to coincide with the animal habitats. I will obviously continue our route with phonics and math. Additionally, we will be joining a co-op that meets once a week for 4 hours as well as continuing music lessons. Yikes, that all seems like a lot to me, but it keeps them from tearing my house down due to boredom. We are big on family outings, especially when we start to see those not-so-attractive boredom signs. It isn't like I don't already do a ton with them AND get outside help.

 

OK, so what is my problem? My wonderfully supportive husband doesn't seem to be phased by any of this, not even the financial side. I , however, can't seem to be as calm. How do I progress these little ones without messing them up emotionally. I really want them to enjoy all we do and don't want to burn them out. At the same time, I don't want them to be equally frustrated with a lack of teaching.

 

Please help in any way,

Erica

[Jen500]

Maybe you are trying to do too many programs? Your kids are so young. Maybe you could focus on their areas of interest (say, reading and math with the oldest). Add lots of trips to the library. Do lots of read alouds-fiction, non-fiction. Let them choose books that look interesting. There are a lot of math readers too for younger kids.

[EricaB]

Maybe you are trying to do too many programs? Your kids are so young. Maybe you could focus on their areas of interest (say, reading and math with the oldest). Add lots of trips to the library. Do lots of read alouds-fiction, non-fiction. Let them choose books that look interesting. There are a lot of math readers too for younger kids.

Yep, hence my frustration. I did Before Five in a Row last year and we had a blast. I thought that we would be able to continue this course, but my DS keeps wanting more.

 

We make weekly trips to the library. We have an incredible library that will pull the books I want when I request them online. This means that we can just have fun at the library. Today was an incredible trip since my son picked out 10 books from different parts of the library all by himself while I watched from a distance and played puzzles with his sister. I couldn't actually figure out how he found all of them since they all had to do with cars, trucks and trains but he was pulling them from different areas. Maybe he was paying attention all those times I was looking for books for him? Anyway, I haven't ever seen him so pleased and excited when he came home and took all of his books to his room for daddy to read tonight. We have always done this together, but today was very special since he did it on his own.

 

So, this is a great suggestion, but he still flops around if he isn't engaged in something. I have also given him phonics and math computer games to work on and we get netflix videos for both downtime and to supplement curriculum. We don't have cable since we find we just don't watch it. I, however, get a little hesitant when he is vegged out in front of the computer or TV when he gets tired of playing with his cars or trains. Almost every night is filled with family activities NOT involving the TV, but they still go to the table asking for projects and school work. This is weird if you ask me...

 

I know that balance is the name of the game, I am just not sure what that looks like anymore.

 

Erica

[JennW in SoCal]

Yep, what she said:iagree:

 

You want to know how help them progress? Relax and back off a bit!

 

Little ones don't need programs and curricula in order to learn, they just need play time, books and a chance to explore. They don't need a teacher, either, they just need a mom who loves them and facilitates their exploration of the world. Let them color, build with blocks, and let them tear apart the house! Its good for them to be bored, because they can figure out creative ways to deal with their boredom. Its perfectly ok for backyards and bedrooms and family rooms to be taken over with tents and toys and experiments and messy craft projects. Its a very special time in your life, and it is going to be over so soon, slow down and enjoy it!

 

My oldest went to Montessori school until midway through 2nd grade, and one of the reasons we started homeschooling was because I realized he had learned so much more through his time with with me at home than he ever had in the classroom. Math, reading -- he had learned everything through life. So we started homeschooling, with a 7yo and 4yo and we did a little bit of math, a little bit of phonics or reading instruction, and spent the rest of our time reading together, coloring, building, walking and exploring with magnifying glasses or binoculars, cooking, or I just let them do their thing. We started easing into formal academics in 4th grade, and you know what? They were never "behind", if anything always ahead of grade level standards, and they both are thriving as teens. More importantly I'm not burned out.

 

Follow the lead of your children for a few more years. If they enjoy their workbooks, that's great, but don't feel bound to using a program. Remember that just because the state mandates full day kindergarten doesn't mean you have to have do kindergarten too. Its far better to get a stack of books out of the library and spend an afternoon reading together (I often still read aloud to my teens). If your kids are interested and engaged in what you are doing, they will learn and retain and enjoy. Honestly.

 

They are hard wired to learn at this age. Trust them, and trust yourself.

 

Getting off my soap box now...

[PeterPan]

Doesn't have have things he likes to do BESIDES curriculum? He should be able to focus and pursue his own projects and things given the right materials. With my dd, it was art at that age. Yes, WP AW is right on for that age, good choice. We used a lot of the art books it recommends and I'm saving it for this next little one with the thought I'd use it about then (age 4).

 

Have you looked at WTM? It suggests reading long chapter books aloud and pursuing books on tape. BFIAR wouldn't have been satisfying to my dd at that age either. They're ready for books like the Lang Fairy Tales, Dr. Doolittle, Narnia, Charlotte's Web, Peter Pan (the real one by Barrie, not Disney, lol), etc. I would read to her while she played in the yard or she'd listen to books on tape. He might like kits, things he can hammer or build with, models, etc. I'd give him some interesting tools and let him busy himself. Now with my dd I give her piles of scrap fabric and time to make things. Maybe you just haven't yet hit on the thing he likes to do for himself? You don't want to get in the habit of always entertaining him and spoonfeeding him, kwim? He needs to pursue things for himself and your job is to give him the tools to do that. Try the timberdoodle catalog. http://www.timberdoodle.com to see if anything strikes you

 

As far as cost, yes, it's possible to spend far more than you imagine, lol. But like I said, I think you're still in the curriculum box. Think more in terms of exploratory tools. A dc with plenty of interesting things to rip apart, put together, discover, etc. shouldn't be bored. I'd do your basic plan for him daily (1-2 hours max) and provide him with lots of exploratory tools beyond that (trail guides, models, things to rip apart, etc.). If he says he's bored, he gets to clean. I cleaned toilets at his age (the swishing) so he can too. In college they told us, "Boredom is the disease of a small mind." In other words, it's not my job to entertain, only to provide tools so you can entertain yourself.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Remember the academics are only a small part of who your kids are. There is no reason a 5 year old can't do math at whatever level is appropriate for him- algebra even- and then play with is plastic dinosaurs in the afternoon, KWIM?

 

Curriculum at that age was a total waste of $$$. We bought K12's K for dd when she was 3 because we had just pulled her out of preschool and she wanted to continue "doing school" (we didn't want to "push" her - oh were we clueless back then). She finished it in 3 months. It was not too long after that we had her tested and got a clue as to where she really was.

 

I still don't have it all exactly right. Dd (who turns 7 on Sat) was complaining yesterday that her Cyber Ed life science, which is supposed to be middle school level, is too easy. I don't know if I will ever get the levels exactly right. I just go day to day and do my best to meet my dd where she is today.

 

Your kids sound like they are going to be okay in the short term without really radical acceleration, so you can be thankful for that. Be thankful also for your laid-back dh. When we had dd tested I was kind of worried because my dh wasn't freaking out like I was and never had any interest in reading material on giftedness or discussing it really. But my laid back dh will swoop out of the shadows at light speed when there is a need to advocate for dd.

[Desert Rat]

At least mine do. I had that problem when my oldest was 4. We were doing lots and I was expecting way, way, way too much of him. Now I think we've found a balance but it took me a few years to iron out all the wrinkles. I have had to do some damage control though because we really had a rough go of it for the first 6 months until I got my head on straight!

Huck is 8 and in most areas works 3-4 grade levels ahead. That doesn't mean his output matches what I input. I still let him dictate when he struggles. I've learned not to pay attention to what he "should" be doing and really focus on what he really wants and needs to be doing. That means that he and his brother are playing outside in the sprinklers when we should be sitting at the table starting school. Whatever works. There will be plenty of time to finish our school work later today. (FYI, I'm really a schedule driven person but we're on light school for a few weeks so I'm more flexible. When we're at full load, I'm not nearly as bendy! :o))

With all that said, I have 2 boys who LOVE workbooks. I know, I'm lucky! So I did fun workbooks when they were little and gradually worked into a formal curriculum.

I would really recommend finding great building toys for your boy to get into. Legos, k'nex (they have ones for littluns), blocks, plastic cups to stack, magnetix, playdough. It's amazing how much learning they can get without even openning a book. We also do lots of reading outloud here, while they're building massive creations on the floor!

HTH and hang in there. It will be okay! Really!

[EricaB]

OK, that helps. On days between our bible story curriculum, I set out all of his "projects" like Kumon jigsaw cut/paste, mazes, dot-to-dots and he really enjoys choosing. I have also been taping butcher paper to the door and letting him "create". I recently found educational board games that he really likes and we play as a family as well as models that he builds with Dad. He does get "quiet time" in his room while little sister naps and will occasionally take a nap himself. Otherwise, he plays with his cars, blocks, books. OK, mostly cars. So, should I require more independent time? I honestly love spending time with him, especially when DD is napping. This is typically when we work on phonics and math.

 

Amen to the cleaning, but this is my DD passion. I had to switch to natural cleaning products or water to quirt to avoid a scene with her every time she wanted to clean something. My son will vacuum and empty the dishwasher as part of Daddy's morning routine, but it pretty much stops there beyond taking care of picking up after himself throughout the day.

 

I will be starting WP AW next fall, not this year. I wanted my DD to be a little older to enjoy it more. In the meantime, I am considering getting the Evan-Moor Nursery Rhyme for DD and Fairy Tale and Caledott pockets for DS, so I am glad I was thinking right on this one. My son is becomming more crafty, so I think he will enjoy this. He has started to complain now when he finishes a craft project. It is a good thing that I stock up. Evan-Moor also has some fun PreK themed units that wouldn't take nearly as much prep as FIAR or even Hands of a Child. I also saw that they had a fun geography "Take it to your seat" games that would be good to do pre WP AW.

 

I like the Timeberdoodle website and will have him look at that for his birthday and Christmas (both around the same time- ugh...) Come to think of it, I have some things stashed in the basement that were too old for him awhile ago. Maybe it is time to him to try those again.

 

My husband and I are experienced teachers, but not at the lower levels. I do get concerned about them progressing beyond what they can emotionally handle when it comes to content, or like it was mentioned, burn out. I don't really think in terms of grade level, but my concerns are more about preserving their spunkiness and spirit while giving my DS and soon, DD the challenges that he has been asking for.

 

I asked him last night what his favorite things to do where and his least favorite things where. Not to my surprise, his favorites were cars, trains, trucks and books while his least favorite where being in the garage when it was dark and how his sister takes the paper off the crayons. This is the point when I stopped worrying about all of this, but your further comments and suggestions are still greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks for letting me talk through all of this,

Erica

[Desert Rat]

Oh, your little one would hate our house! LOL! My 5yo MUST take all of the paper off every single crayon before he will use them! Something about the way it feels. It just made me laugh!

I loved spending time with my oldest too. But, if I had things to do over again, I would have definitely encouraged more individual play. He still isn't very good at playing alone. But my 5yo is great at it, probably because I just didn't have as much time to devote to him. This opens a mixed bag for me because I still have lots of lingering guilt over not being able to spend more time with him. In some ways though, it was very helpful for him.

As for appropriateness of material vs level, well, that's tough. I have a sensitive 8yo. So when we cover history I gloss over the worst of it or omit it completely, like the Inquisition and Hitler. Other topics we discuss more generally. For example, we were reading about states and the Trail of Tears was mentioned. Huck knows what this is basically but no details. He's young. There's plenty of time for him to learn the aweful things humans have done to other humans. I preread lots of his stuff or we read it aloud. And he knows if mom puts the book down and says this isn't appropriate, then it's not up for debate. Luckily, this hasn't happened often. Then again, I have a background in English so I think I'm ahead of the game.

When all else fails, when I'm totally overwhelmed that my 8yo is beginning algebra, I just take lots and lots of deep breaths!

[Myrtle]

The context in which I hear about stressed out, burned out kids is when they are compelled to attend a school with a busy schedule and super high standards. They kid can't quit and the teacher also has to stick with the program. You, on the other hand, can stop whenever you want and hang out at the park, go fishing, or drop down to a half day schedule if you think that's what you need to do. And you can then pick things back up when everyone is refreshed and ready to go.

 

If your kids seem happy, they ARE happy. Trust your instincts that they are just fine and be flexible when they need a break.

 

 

Everything is going to be fine, you'll see.

[mrsdrcook]

What I gathered from the WTM text was to focus on early reading if you are going to do a "curriculum". We started with what my DD was interested in at the time first which was handwriting. Handwriting w/o tears' preschool materials have good manipulative ideas which help with learning the letters while tracing and stuff. Then we started with 10 minutes a day of reading lessons once she learned the alphabet and this progressed to 2 pages a day of "The Reading Lesson". So now at 5yo she is beginning K5 at a 2nd grade reading lesson. We waited to continue on the handwriting until she had matured more which is frequently recommended. Singapore Early Bird was a good add on at age 4 when I thought she could use some more focused time on math. All of this took no more than 30 minutes a day which was done during younger siblings nap time. We have been getting books from the library for real book reading time when she progressed past the Bob books 1+2 level. Hope this helps.

[EricaB]

Thanks for all of your comments. I have dug out some of the more advanced building toys from the basement and he has been doing an incredible job with his creations (ON HIS OWN). YEAH! I also put a long piece of butcher paper in the floor yesterday along with a buffet of craft supplies and set him loose. It was mostly a lesson for him in independent study and learning that he can do all of this stuff on his own. After only a few minutes of pep talk, he was off to create. I realize that I have been spending too much time with him and have re-organized my thoughts on the issue since I now see his imagination and creativity growing even after just a few days of the new approach. We will still do math and reading, but I am beefing up on art projects and building toy time.

 

Thanks again,

Erica