DS talks very slow, often won't talk (please read)

[summer]

Speech delays and high IQs run in our family, so that never concerned me. But DS6 is so different. He can draw, freehand, a map of the USA, of all the states, and tell you which ones they are, and the major rivers. He gets in all the little nooks and crannies. He knows all the continents and many of the countries of the world. He taught himself this stuff by putting together puzzles of the continents and studying atlas's. We went ahead and sent him to half day kindergarten this year. He really proved to be way beyond any of the children his own age level (the children in his class). One day, when I brought him in, he actually saw an unlabeled picture of the solar system (oversized book) and told the boy who was his friend what all the planets are and some details about them...which ones were bigger and smaller and which were gas and rock and which had moons and rings and how many, etc. This was mid kindergarten year. Now this past week, he moved on to the book "I Don't Know Much About US History." He can now tell you about the American Colonies, the Louisiana Purchase, the Lewisville and Clark Expedition, and a little about the aquisition of Texas. He is sick today and laid in bed and when he was awake, I saw him hold the book reading it.

 

 

People think he is dumb because he talks so slow. He says he won'tt talk to people because he is so afraid they will think he is dumb. He is not dumb!

 

I took him to a neuro psych who said he was brilliant and had a very high IQ and that his anxiety (that has caused his refusal to speak and added to him talking slowly when he does) can be a part of being of such high intelligence. She referred us on to a psychologist for more official testing. The testing did say of course that he has this very high IQ, and labeled him with PDD-NOS which basically comes down..for him, serious anxiety disorder.

 

His kindergarten teacher had troubles with him as he woould not talk and would cover his ears and cry quietly sometimes when put on the spot. Sometimes, he would even crawl under the table.

 

He has done great all week in day camp where the pressures are not there.

 

SO..can anyone give me their opinion? Thank you so much in advance. (will he stop with the slow talk or refusal to talk once he is home fulltime, is there anything else I should do? should I stop worrying?) He is in speech 2 times a week but did not need it so much until this school year.

 

I should reiterate that he is 6 yrs old and if age-placed in school next year, he would be in 1st grade. But he will be home instead.

[JWSJ]

My son had sensory issues and didn't talk (at all) until 3yo. Then even we, the parents, couldn't understand his speech most of the time. It got better gradually.

 

When he graduated from Children's House (Montessori) at age 6 and we started homeschooling, his anxiety disappeared.

 

Homeschooling has made all the difference. Now (a year later) you wouldn't even know he had sensory, motor, or speech issues.

[Desert Rat]

I don't have much input or experience with this issue. I just want to pop in and say that homeschooling is an awesome path for kids who are outside of the "norm". I brought Huck home because he is way smart but I KEEP him home because I feel he would be difficult in a classroom with 20 other kids. Homeschooling is the perfect choice for us. I hope it will be a great fit for you too. I remember Huck being very anxious at preschool and easily overwhelmed (same as yours, covering his ears and crying-he was loud though.) He had a great teacher that year who helped a bunch. But I couldn't count on him having great teachers EVERY year, KWIM? Since being home we have had issues with self confidence and being too hard on himself but no anxiety.

HTH and good luck!

[Jen500]

I would see if homeschooling helps, and try to help him handle his anxiety, as well as not putting him into situations you know will be just too difficult. It sounds like you are doing all the right things for him. Have you read Elaine Aron's book called The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Your Child.?

[Storm Bay]

None of my kids are like this, but, fwiw, I once had a very bright (definitely gifted) boyfriend who spoke slowly always, even when relaxed, so your ds isn't alone in this. I think keeping your ds at home is a great idea.

[lighthouseacademy]

 

His kindergarten teacher had troubles with him as he woould not talk and would cover his ears and cry quietly sometimes when put on the spot. Sometimes, he would even crawl under the table.

 

Give him time. I have found with my son, who is similar to yours, that time and gentle scaffolding has helped him blossom socially. Had I put him in K, he would have been doing the very same thing or he would have been making everyone crazy. He HATES to be put on the spot. At church, he would glare at the children's singing teacher and REFUSE to sing (he LOVES music) and then would sing at home all the songs he learned at church and never sang there. They were really worried about him. Every time they tried to get him involved, he would shrink further. I told everyone just to ignore him. Let him join when he was ready. Over a few years of NOT being put on the spot, he now sings the loudest of the other children and knows all the words and mostly stays on key. At home I have given him the opportunities to talk to adults and others: "E please go and ask the waitress for some napkins. It is ok, I will watch you... All you have to say is, "May I please have some more napkins?" Then when she gives them to you, be sure to say thank you." Little by little he is opening up.

 

My mil thought there was something seriously wrong with my son because emotionally and socially he was not as advanced as he is mentally. I explained to her that when there is such a contrast between chronological age and mental age and emotional age, we forget how old the child really is and we think that he is further behind than he really is.

[VanessaS]

People think he is dumb because he talks so slow.

Ah, yes. We have that issue here, too. Both my DS and my DH spoke late and speak slowly and my DH occasionally stutters (although it's been going away, slowly, since we've been married). But they both are absolutely brilliant, perhaps even profoundly gifted. Quick speech is an attribute of audio-sequential thought and actually has little to do with intelligence (we've all met quick-talkers who spoke mostly nonsense) and slow-speech is common among visual-spatial thinkers* because they think in images and holistically and have the laborous step of translating the images and concepts in their heads into words.

 

But he will be home instead.

Lucky kid.

I'd bet good money that after a few years of homeschooling with someone who gives him the time to speak, values his opinions and thoughts, and doesn't rush him, his stutter will go away on it's own and his speed will increase. :D

 

when there is such a contrast between chronological age and mental age and emotional age, we forget how old the child really is and we think that he is further behind than he really is

It's called asynchronous development and is typical (even a defining characteristic!) in gifted children.

 

* If you want to know more about this, borrow "Upside-Down Brilliance" from your library. You may need to get an inter-library loan as it is out of print and hard to find.

[Pegasus]

SO..can anyone give me their opinion?.

 

He needs time, protection from being made to feel dumb, and continued speech therapy. DD11 didn't talk at all until she was 3 and then it was impossible to understand even for those of us closest to her. She went to a preschool and the teachers commented that it affected how she played with the other students. She wouldn't even try to talk and if a group of kids was playing house, DD was always the cat or dog, so she wouldn't have to talk.

 

You wouldn't recognize the above description in DD11 now! She is a real chatter box and will strike up conversations with strangers (almost always adults, she's shyer around kids she doesn't know).

 

Pegasus