SAT Practice Essay 1

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I'd love it if folks would give some feedback to my sons on their practice SAT essays. This uses the prompt from the online practice test.

 

This is the first time they have written such an open ended essay.

 

***

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

 

A colleague of the great scientist James Watson remarked that Watson was always “lounging around, arguing about problems instead of doing experiments.” He concluded that “There is more than one way of doing good science.” It was Watson’s form of idleness, the scientist went on to say, that allowed him to solve “the greatest of all biological problems: the discovery of the structure of DNA.” It is a point worth remembering in a society overly concerned with efficiency.

Adapted from John C. Polnyi, “Understanding Discovery”

 

Assignment: Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay in which you develop you point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

 

*** Cauliflower's Essay (I tried to retain spelling and punctuation. It is a little over a page on the answer form.)

 

I believe that people are more productive and efficient when allowed a certain amount of freedom. However, people are naturally lazy, and unless they have incentive either in a carrot or a stick, they will be less productive.

 

As a boy scout, I find on campouts, camp gets set up faster when dinner depends on it. On a similar note, the boy scout service projects that serve free pizza for lunch get the most volunteers.

 

As many parents know (and children) the fastest way to get a child to clean something up or do chores is to threaten punishment or remove privileges, and carry through on it.

 

It has proven by many weight loss programs, and athletics programs, that the best way to motivate someone is to offer them an incentive, like a cookie, or a five minute break. A person cooks tasty food if they are going to eat it, because they are willing to put in extra effort to get the reward of better flavor.

 

If a person is given free reign to accomplish a task while knowing they will get a reward when it is done, they will do it quicker. If a person knows they will be payed more for a better answer to a problem they will take time to do it right.

 

However if a person is under a rigid set of guidelines, they can’t take extra time for a problem or put more work into it. The most productivity requires incentive and free reign to find their own way.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Thanks, this one is often my more creative writer. But I also haven't spent any time with them on timed writings. They are doing the SAT tomorrow as part of a talent search. In general, the writing isn't going to matter one way or another.

 

But I hate to have them with the opportunity to do a graded essay and not try to do well. It's a good experience if nothing else.

 

(I thought the cookie example was pretty funny too.)

[Candid]

Can I give two general comments on both essays? First, both seemed to have very short paragraphs. I might work with them to create longer paragraphs with maybe some more proof statements (like the cookie).

 

Second, I have read that the graders of these essays tend to be English teachers and they like to see quotes or references to literature in them.

 

Both your students are young so you have time to integrate these ideas with their personal style.

[Guest daffodil255]

Can I give two general comments on both essays? First, both seemed to have very short paragraphs. I might work with them to create longer paragraphs with maybe some more proof statements (like the cookie).

 

Second, I have read that the graders of these essays tend to be English teachers and they like to see quotes or references to literature in them.

 

Both your students are young so you have time to integrate these ideas with their personal style.

 

Thanks you for the post.