Do you have a child diagnosed with mild mr?

[kiwi3129]

Our dd8 was adopted from China at 10 1/2 months and has always been developmentally delayed. The gap between her chronological age and developmental age has grown over time, so we recently had her evaluated by an educational psychologist, speech/language therapist, and occupational therapist. The results showed that she has significant delays (which we knew), but there was no conclusion regarding the cause of the delays. Everything that was tested showed she is developmentally in the 4- to 5-year-old range. The educational psychologist tried to do an IQ test but stopped because she said she could tell my daughter was not understanding the directions. She said she didn't feel like she would have gotten a valid result. They said it could be severe language delays which are impacting all other areas, but they are also suspecting mild mental retardation. We have started her in weekly language and occupational therapies. The ed psych suggested I not even try to work on reading with dd (she is a non-reader which is part of the reason we had her evaluated) until we see if her language skills can improve. They have me duplicating her therapy activities at home as her school program right now.

 

That's the background. Now my questions. If you have a child who has been diagnosed with mild mr, would you mind sharing some things with me?

 

1. What materials have you used successfully to teach reading and math? Were there materials that you tried that didn't work well? (I have used All About Spelling and ABeCeDarian to try to teach her to read, but I think they both moved too fast for her. Here phonological awareness is also almost non-existant).

 

2. Has anyone used Dancing Bears with their child and how did that go?

 

3. What do you feel the long-term outlook for your child is in terms of independence, etc.?

 

4. Anything else that you feel would be helpful is appreciated.

 

Feel free to PM me if you prefer to not post such personal information to the board. I'll admit that I'm having a hard time dealing with this possibility right now. I'm hoping that if it is mild mr that we can at least get her skills to a level where she can live independently.

 

Thanks.

[VinNY]

My dd (age 10) works 3 years behind grade level. She has severe language delays, dyspraxia and below avg IQ.

 

Anyway, my dtr is making progress. She receives speech and OT. We have had to do VT and listening therapies at home and with the therapists to improve auditory processing skills.

 

For reading: VT (if needed for tracking etc)LiPs, I See Sam readers, Apples & Pear Spelling, O-G program for long term reading support.

 

Math: I used alot of manipulatives and the manual Cloud Nine from LindaMood Bell for ideas to build numeracy. Last year I started with a special ed teacher from the public school. She has done more for my dtr with the math than I could. The special ed teacher has a developmentally delayed son (now 34) and years of experience teaching children that 'learn differently'. Repetition and mneumonics help,too.

 

Right now my goal is to get her to a solid 8th grade education. I think she can have some level of independence with that.

 

Best advice: Just get the help you need. I have a lot more patience with the reading and spelling issues. I didn't with OT and math type things. Following directions is hard for my dtr too. See how things improve over the next 6 months with therapies.

[kiwi3129]

My dd (age 10) works 3 years behind grade level. She has severe language delays, dyspraxia and below avg IQ.

 

Thanks for your reply, VinNY. Our daughters sound similar. I forgot to mention that the term dyspraxia was also mentioned when we were reviewing the evaluations. Everything they mentioned was speculation at this point. I think her language delays are so significant that they are reluctant to definitively diagnose anything right now.

 

If I could eventually get my daughter's skills up to 8th grade level I would be thrilled. I realize we're most likely never looking at college for her, but I think 8th grade level skills would allow her to live an independent life.

 

Thank you for all your curriculum suggestions. I will look into them carefully. The speech/language therapist has me doing some of the LiPS stuff with her right now. We are working on the popper sounds right now.

 

The OT also identified many primitive reflexes that my daughter has not integrated and crossing the midline issues, along with many sensory integration problems. The OT is optimistic that if we can get the reflexes integrated and the midline issues resolved that we will see some progress in other areas.

 

We have been getting help for our daughter since she was 18 months old, but I'm starting to think we weren't getting very good help. She was in early intervention, three years of developmental preschool, and a year of inclusion kindergarten. During all that time she was receiving SLT and OT, but many of the issues that the current therapists have identified were not identified in the past. I'm hopeful that with this private therapy we will see some progress.

 

Thanks again for sharing your personal story with me.

[VinNY]

Thanks for your reply, VinNY. Our daughters sound similar. I forgot to mention that the term dyspraxia was also mentioned when we were reviewing the evaluations. Everything they mentioned was speculation at this point. I think her language delays are so significant that they are reluctant to definitively diagnose anything right now.

 

If I could eventually get my daughter's skills up to 8th grade level I would be thrilled. I realize we're most likely never looking at college for her, but I think 8th grade level skills would allow her to live an independent life.

 

Thank you for all your curriculum suggestions. I will look into them carefully. The speech/language therapist has me doing some of the LiPS stuff with her right now. We are working on the popper sounds right now.

 

The OT also identified many primitive reflexes that my daughter has not integrated and crossing the midline issues, along with many sensory integration problems. The OT is optimistic that if we can get the reflexes integrated and the midline issues resolved that we will see some progress in other areas.

 

We have been getting help for our daughter since she was 18 months old, but I'm starting to think we weren't getting very good help. She was in early intervention, three years of developmental preschool, and a year of inclusion kindergarten. During all that time she was receiving SLT and OT, but many of the issues that the current therapists have identified were not identified in the past. I'm hopeful that with this private therapy we will see some progress.

 

Thanks again for sharing your personal story with me.

 

Sounds like you are heading in the right direction and any past therapies kept her from regressing. Slowly you will see the actual impairment, if there is any, emerge once the OT and SLP work their stuff. Do not discount higher education either. Sometimes with developmental delays, a child needs lots of repetition and exposure to real world scenarios. They are typically the "show me" kids not the "tell me" or "read this manual" type kid for job training. Once they have some on the job experience, going back to school or getting more vocational training might not be as daunting as we think. They might need to to do it part time, get supports etc but there are so many options. Take one day at a time, but keep your options open. They say the temporal processes aren't fully developed until 12 or 13 yrs of age.

 

My dtr's IQ is considered suppressed do to her expressive language impairment. The special ed teacher says that her reading and comprehension levels on the recent Woodcock Johnson indicates a slightly higher IQ. I think your EdPsych is very wise! I was always encouraged not let her IQ scores deter me from pursuing the best for my dtr. The only benefit to these scores are that I get lots of resources and therapies from the local school district:). In my case the school based therapies were just as good as private. Sometimes that is not the case, but where I live everyone is really up to date with special ed needs.

[chiguirre]

1. What materials have you used successfully to teach reading and math? Were there materials that you tried that didn't work well? (I have used All About Spelling and ABeCeDarian to try to teach her to read, but I think they both moved too fast for her. Here phonological awareness is also almost non-existant).

 

2. Has anyone used Dancing Bears with their child and how did that go?

 

3. What do you feel the long-term outlook for your child is in terms of independence, etc.?

 

4. Anything else that you feel would be helpful is appreciated.

 

 

1. I used LLATL Blue, Calvert K and Pathway readers. Later we did ABeCeDarian and Rewards Intermediate. Reading really clicked for Geezle when I got a Kindle and set the type to large with the largest interspacing. That helped immensely with tracking and fluency. Now I have the Kindle set to a slightly smaller typeface and he's reading Fifty Famous Stories with no trouble. It took a lot of time and patience and switching things up, but we finally got here.

 

2. I'm using Apples and Pears now for writing/spelling. It's going well, but that might be because Geezle can finally read well and his fine motor skills seem to have improved too. I'm not sure it would have worked well 3 years ago.

 

3. I really don't know what to expect for Geezle. GW will always need to be cared for and I don't think he could ever find work outside of a sheltered workshop. Geezle is all over the place in his skills. His tested IQ is 60, but his verbal skills are much stronger than that. I do think he'll eventually be able to read and write and do basic arithmetic. I hope that his social skills and self regulation are strong enough for him to find a job (he dearly wants to be a mechanic). I am glad that he scores so low on testing, he'll qualify for disability if he can't hold down a job.

 

4. It takes a lot of patience and fortitude to hs a kid with severe issues. Try to remember to compare their progress with school kids who have the same issues, not typical kids. Try not to get depressed when you read what other hsers are doing. Try to remind yourself of all the good things about your dc and all the benefits they get from being home, especially when they're driving you nuts. Get help when you need it. Geezle's math tutor is amazing and has saved us so much conflict and anxiety. His social skills class is the highlight of this week. These opportunities have made our hsing so much better.

 

I hope you can find answers that help you hs your dd successfully.

[kiwi3129]

4. It takes a lot of patience and fortitude to hs a kid with severe issues. Try to remember to compare their progress with school kids who have the same issues, not typical kids. Try not to get depressed when you read what other hsers are doing. Try to remind yourself of all the good things about your dc and all the benefits they get from being home, especially when they're driving you nuts. Get help when you need it. Geezle's math tutor is amazing and has saved us so much conflict and anxiety. His social skills class is the highlight of this week. These opportunities have made our hsing so much better.

 

I hope you can find answers that help you hs your dd successfully.

 

Thank you for all of your reply, but most especially for the part I have quoted above. I have been feeling depressed since the review of the evaluations (about two weeks ago now). We have always had challenges to deal with with dd, but I have felt overwhelmed with the number of areas that we need work in. I think I will feel better as time passes and the shock of evaluation results wears off. When I was talking about things with my sister she made a very wise statement. She told me that none of this changes who my daughter is. And she is right of course. I have also been trying to remind myself that we have years ahead of us to work on things. It's just hard sometimes!

 

Thanks to both of you for being so open.

[Shellers]

 

2. Has anyone used Dancing Bears with their child and how did that go?

 

I recommend taking a look at Bear Necessities, it goes a little slower than Dancing Bears.

[kiwi3129]

I recommend taking a look at Bear Necessities, it goes a little slower than Dancing Bears.

 

Thank you for this recommendation. It does look like where I would need to start if I go with this program.

[kiwi3129]

I went with the recommendation from the psychoeducational evaluator that we make heavy use of mnemonics and repetition, which led me to the following curriculum choices:

 

Math: Semple Math ( http://www.semplemath.com/ )

Reading: Stevenson Reading ( http://www.stevensonlearning.com/Language_skills/description.htm )

Handwriting: Handwriting Without Tears ( http://www.hwtears.com/hwt)

 

Thank you for all the information you shared in both posts, Karen. I have PM'd you with a question about Stevenson Reading.

[Ottakee]

I have 3 adopted with mental impairments. One is very high mild impairment, one lower mild, and one moderate impairment.

 

The reading program that worked here was I See Sam http://www.3rsplus.com (one of the case studies is about my kids) or http://www.iseesam.com It took a LONG LONG time but even my 16dd with an IQ of 38 (likely not totally accurate due to language delays) is reading easy chapter books for pleasure.

 

As hard as it is to accept, getting a diagnosis of a mental impairment really helps open up the doors to a lot of services and either now or later, government programs like disability, etc.

 

My 24 year old son has a reading level of about 3rd grade and math level of about 1/2nd grade but has great social skills and functions very well in society.

 

My 16dd has a reading level of 4th grade and math level of 2nd grade. She also does well but has a severe stutter which does limit her, esp. since girls do so much talking where boys are more active.

 

My 15dd has a reading level of 5th/6th grade and math level of 4/5th grade. She does awesome in many things---including showing her horse and pony at shows, etc.

 

It is hard, but there are lots of opportunities and it doesnt' change who your daughter is. I do second the idea of special olympics though. It is nice to help these kids find a "peer group"--esp. as the teen years start hitting and the gap widens.

[bdjjmj]

I know how hard it is and where you are right now is a tough place, when you first really hear the words it is normal to go through an emotional grief process we all have.:grouphug:

 

My son is 7 has mild MR IQ of 60 (2 years ago) he is due to be retested in the next month and if anything I expect a possibly lower score. Severe receptive and expressive language delays, both around that of a 2 to 3 year old. Apraxia of speech. Severe Fine motor delays, around the skills of a 2 year old.

 

The other moms have given a lot of great advice so I will not repeat it. I will add for us that he just started reading CVC words because he learned all of his phonics sounds from watching Leap Frog Letter Factory and Talking word factory. I could Kiss the leapfrog people right now!! That set off the spark for him to be interested because they are set to music and we have started with just the first 2 lessons of hooked on phonics and explode the code to work on CVC word families.

 

Math in general is "harder" for our kids then reading, math is so much more abstract so if you notice less/slower progress in Math do not be surprised. We have still not gotten very far with math beyond counting. I have found the series of books for teaching children with down syndrome to be beneficial 2 are listed here and they can all be found on amazon.

Teaching Math to People With Down Syndrome and Other Hands-On Learners: Basic Survival Skills by DeAnna Horstmeier

 

Teaching Reading to children with down syndrome by Patricia Oelwein

 

 

They address many of the life skills our children will truly need to learn.

 

 

 

Long term it is best to know that the general agreement is as Karen said a child with Mild MR will achieve the 9 to 12 year old or 4th to 6th grade overall level....having said that don't let that limit you or her. She may do much more or less but she will be exactly who she is meant to be. For us we have accepted with joy since day one that he may live at home forever and thought a lot about what a blessing that will be if it is the case, to keep and love our kids longer, to not be empty nesters....that may make us the envy of many parents. :001_smile:

 

 

 

This would be my big list of DO nots to keep yourself focused on you and her and what a GREAT job you are doing: Do NOT compare yourself to other homeschoolers with nuerotypical children(its hard not to) in person or on blogs, Do NOT look at the curriculum of where she should be and get yourself down just look at the curriculum for where she is and know that is just right, Do Not get caught up day dreaming about how much "better" the school would do (they wouldn't) Do not doubt yourself you are her mother and no one could do a better job.;)

 

 

Here are a couple of Blog links to moms of children with special needs that I have found good curriculum insight and support on:

 

 

http://specialconnectionhomeschool.blogspot.com/

http://michellespecialeducation.blogspot.com/

 

(public school teacher w/good links)

 

http://specialneedshomeschooling.com/

 

 

Best of luck

Beth

 

[Ottakee]

Do Not get caught up day dreaming about how much "better" the school would do (they wouldn't) Do not doubt yourself you are her mother and no one could do a better job.;)

 

[/b]

 

I agree with everything else but this. I won't say that the school can do a BETTER job but neither will I say that what the school offers is nec. WORSE than what the parent does.

 

We homeschooled our kids for many years--I think I have 15 in or so.

 

We decided to put our 24ds into school when he was in 6th grade. My girls each started in 7th grade.

 

By that point I had them all reading to a 3rd grade level and spelling fairly well and doing very basic math. The reason we decided on school at that point is that in the homeschooling community most programs are set up for K-6th and then 7-12th (at least in our area). While they were in the younger groups it was much easier to find activities/friends/fieldtrips, etc. for them and they fit in better. Once you hit the 7-12th grade the academics really ramp up as do the social expectations.

 

By putting our kids into school at this stage we allowed them to have a "peer group" of other kids with similar challenges. They participate in Special Olympics (which you can do through homeschooling too), attend school events with other friends, go out to movies, etc. with their school friends. As they get older the schools in our area are the ticket to job training programs, life skills programs, tech ed. etc.

 

I am certianly NOT saying you can not homeschool all along and do well and that be the best for your child but if the public schools have a good program it is a viable option.

[Tarreymere]

I have a stepson with mild mental impairment. He was adopted at age seven from Russia with significant physical issues also (he has the vertebral defects and limb defects associated with VACTERL the same limb defect in both the upper and lower limb on the same side, but with different limb defects on one side than the other, and he either never did have any of the internal defects or if he did we didn't know since his medical history on adoption was not complete). I married his dad when he was twelve and he lived with us until he moved out on his own.

 

I didn't homeschool him due to issues with his adoptive mom so he attended our local school. I have no suggestions for you education-wise. Amazingly he decided he didn't want to be in special ed classes after eighth grade as he didn't feel he was learning anything. We allowed him to transition into regular classes and he did very well (this doesn't say much about our local high school) since most of his grade was based on class participation and attitude and turning in homework (didn't have to be right, just turned in). All students were allowed to retake the same tests until they passed them, and he had a good memory and took advantage of this option. He didn't understand the content but he knew which words went together for the multiple choice questions.

 

So, he did well according to their standards but he really didn't learn anything. I often wonder how much further he could have gotten if we had been able to homeschool him. It is frustrating to me to think about. He reads at about an early second grade level and his math skills are around early second grade also, by my assessment, but I do believe he could have done much better than that with homeschooling. It is just that our local schools are so bad and the special education people in middle school and high school did not do much with the kids at all and the teachers in the regular classes seemed to just pass him to get him out of there. And of course he wasn't exactly receptive to afterschooling with his stepmom.

 

He made a lot of friends during his time in school, but he did endure a lot of immature behaviors from the other kids, even in high school. I also think he focused more of his energy and time on figuring out how to 'fit in' than he did on his schoolwork. I guess it is debatable which would have been of more benefit to him in his adult life. He does get along with other people his own age and older very well and in casual conversation you would never guess he had some limitations.

 

He lives independently now with Dh checking up on him weekly and an older brother spending time with him more frequently. Dh watches his checking account and coaches him in that area. He enjoys his work as a caregiver for a man with CP. He also enjoys working with the elderly and is looking into finding work as an activity aide in a nursing home, especially as his physical condition deteriorates and his part time job at Mcdonald's is no longer possible. He is pleasant and good natured and people enjoy being around him. He did finally after over four years of trying pass the written test for a driver's license. I'm not sure that is a good thing, though, since he doesn't seem to me to have the processing speed to make the kind of split second decisions that driving seems to call for sometimes. He doesn't have a car so he isn't driving but he likes the fact he has a license.

 

Not sure if any of this is helpful, but maybe just that these kids can do well as adults and be happy and useful with minimal assistance. He does feel that he has a 'calling' to assist others and considers that work his career field, he is almost independent, and he is pretty happy.

[freeindeed]

:lurk5:

My youngest is adopted from China, and more than likely she has delays beyond those simply due to institutionalization. She is also visually impaired. I am currently doing both Montessori and Waldorf inspired "preschool" things with her. At her young age (which you can see is 4 in my siggy), we are just not sure how severe her limits are. Also, we've had her for about two years, so she is developmentally that age. I hope you find what works best for your daughter. I am sure that you will do a great job with her.

[kiwi3129]

The reading program that worked here was I See Sam www.3rsplus.com (one of the case studies is about my kids) or www.iseesam.com It took a LONG LONG time but even my 16dd with an IQ of 38 (likely not totally accurate due to language delays) is reading easy chapter books for pleasure.

 

Thank you, Ottakee. When I start working with her on reading again (the ed psych recommended waiting until she's had 6 months of speech/language therapy before starting again) I will probably start with these. I have the first two sets downloaded from a while back, so I wouldn't be out anything but ink and paper.

 

Did you use the cursor/notched card with your kids? Do you mind briefly explaining how you used it? Do you just move it so they can only see one sound at a time? (I realize one sound may incorporate more than one letter). At what point do you have them try to read it without the card?

 

Thanks for your help.

[kiwi3129]

I know how hard it is and where you are right now is a tough place, when you first really hear the words it is normal to go through an emotional grief process we all have.:grouphug:

 

Thank you for these words. I do feel like we're grieving right now, but I know in time we will come to accept a new normal. I went into the evaluation as a previous poster had mentioned -- expecting to hear dyslexia or other learning disabilities. I was truly not prepared to hear what we did. But we love her with all our hearts, and even knowing what we know now we don't have any regrets. She is our daughter and we will do everything we can do to help her.

 

Thanks also for the book recommendations. I'll have to see if our library has them and if not I'll order them from Amazon.

[kiwi3129]

Not sure if any of this is helpful, but maybe just that these kids can do well as adults and be happy and useful with minimal assistance. He does feel that he has a 'calling' to assist others and considers that work his career field, he is almost independent, and he is pretty happy.

 

Thank you, Rainefox. Everything you and everyone else has offered has been helpful. I'm incredibly grateful for everyone being willing to share their personal stories with me.

 

My daughter is very sweet, loving, and helpful, so I could see her possibly doing something similar to your stepson in the future.

 

Thanks again.

[kiwi3129]

:lurk5:

My youngest is adopted from China, and more than likely she has delays beyond those simply due to institutionalization. She is also visually impaired. I am currently doing both Montessori and Waldorf inspired "preschool" things with her. At her young age (which you can see is 4 in my siggy), we are just not sure how severe her limits are. Also, we've had her for about two years, so she is developmentally that age. I hope you find what works best for your daughter. I am sure that you will do a great job with her.

 

It's definitely a process, isn't it? We adopted our daughter at 10 1/2 months and have been receiving one form of help or another for her since 18 months. It seems like it has been a long road to get to where we are now. I spent several years thinking she would eventually catch up, but I know now that is never to be. When she was four she was developmentally on the two-year-old level, and now that she is eight she is developmentally on the four- to five-year-old level.

 

Adopting our children (we also have a ds7 from China) was the best thing we've ever done. I really can't even imagine not having them in our lives, and I have grown in a way that I never thought possible.

[jenncslp]

I don't have time to write much right now, but wanted to send a :grouphug: your way. My daughter was adopted from Hong Kong and has MR (mild-moderate). Honestly things go slowly, but she is progressing. She gets so much more out of doing/seeing/touching/experiencing than she ever would out of book work.

 

We are also in Tennessee (Spring Hill area). If you ever want to chat, please feel free to pm me!

 

Jenn

[Ottakee]

Thank you, Ottakee. When I start working with her on reading again (the ed psych recommended waiting until she's had 6 months of speech/language therapy before starting again) I will probably start with these. I have the first two sets downloaded from a while back, so I wouldn't be out anything but ink and paper.

 

Did you use the cursor/notched card with your kids? Do you mind briefly explaining how you used it? Do you just move it so they can only see one sound at a time? (I realize one sound may incorporate more than one letter). At what point do you have them try to read it without the card?

 

Thanks for your help.

 

If you want to wait 6 months it likely won't hurt but honestly, learning to read HELPED my kids with their speech/language. Instead of just hearing it they could SEE it......even for articulation, they could see the letters they were to say. It also gave them practice in saying complete sentences, using proper grammar, etc. by reading it.

 

I used the notched card some. You show each sound---which might be the /s/ or /ee/ or later /sh/, etc. NOT letter by letter but sound by sound. Often we would use the card on the line ABOVE the one they were reading (instead of the traditional below it). They can read without the card as long as/as soon as they aren't struggling with each sound. Then you just move it along as they read and if they get a word wrong you go back and highlight the sound they missed and have them read through it again.

[lauranc]

That's the background. Now my questions. If you have a child who has been diagnosed with mild mr, would you mind sharing some things with me?

Thanks.

 

 

My daughter has mild intellectual disability (think they're starting to call it that instead of MR now..) Anyway, she learned to read using Jolly Phonics http://jollylearning.co.uk/shop/ She loved the music, the colors, the animals... everything. We've used All About Spelling with some success for spelling.

 

Math is another story. She has used all sorts of programs with Right Start being the one she advanced with the most. She's about to turn 13, and she hasn't got past 1st grade math. I am now only working on functional math skills with her. Time telling, money, addition, subtraction, measurement. She is not able to do much abstract thinking and sequencing is very tough.

 

My daughter has always been delayed. We had her tested at 8 yrs and they weren't able to complete the whole test (including not being able to complete the IQ test) so at that point we only knew she had 'borderline intellectual functioning' Four years later, we just had her tested again. Great neuro-psych... this time, diagnosis of mild ID. It all makes so much sense. As far as outlook: I feel she will be able to live semi-independently but will need various supports. If you want to chat about it more, you can PM me. :001_smile:

[kiwi3129]

I don't have time to write much right now, but wanted to send a :grouphug: your way. My daughter was adopted from Hong Kong and has MR (mild-moderate). Honestly things go slowly, but she is progressing. She gets so much more out of doing/seeing/touching/experiencing than she ever would out of book work.

 

We are also in Tennessee (Spring Hill area). If you ever want to chat, please feel free to pm me!

 

Jenn

 

Thanks, Jenn. Everyone who has responded to my post has helped so much just by knowing there are others dealing with the same issues.

 

I've subscribed to this thread so I can remember everyone's user name, as I'm sure I will have other questions as we go along.

[kiwi3129]

I used the notched card some. You show each sound---which might be the /s/ or /ee/ or later /sh/, etc. NOT letter by letter but sound by sound. Often we would use the card on the line ABOVE the one they were reading (instead of the traditional below it). They can read without the card as long as/as soon as they aren't struggling with each sound. Then you just move it along as they read and if they get a word wrong you go back and highlight the sound they missed and have them read through it again.

 

Thanks for the explanation. I think something like this would help my daughter.

[kiwi3129]

My daughter has mild intellectual disability (think they're starting to call it that instead of MR now..)

 

My daughter has always been delayed. We had her tested at 8 yrs and they weren't able to complete the whole test (including not being able to complete the IQ test) so at that point we only knew she had 'borderline intellectual functioning' Four years later, we just had her tested again. Great neuro-psych... this time, diagnosis of mild ID. It all makes so much sense. As far as outlook: I feel she will be able to live semi-independently but will need various supports. If you want to chat about it more, you can PM me. :001_smile:

 

There seem to be several terms used currently. Our education psychologist used the term mental retardation, which is why I phrased my original post that way.

 

Thanks for the suggestions of curriculum to look at. I think I've looked at Jolly Phonics before and liked the looks of it.

 

Now that a little of the shock is wearing off, I'm starting to see where this makes sense for our daughter also. She has been delayed since the day we brought her home. Where the other girls in our adoption group quickly caught up our daughter did not. Instead, the gap between her chronological age and developmental age has continued to grow. So I can see a similar situation happening for us where it takes some time before they can give the IQ test and a definite diagnosis.

 

I'll definitely PM if (or maybe I should say when!) I have more questions.

[lauranc]

Yes, for years I honestly thought the 'problem' was that she had some pretty significant LDs and was speech delayed. She was obviously 'different' from my other 2 and also from other kids her age. I was surprised, but also... not surprised... when we got the diagnosis. It all makes sense now, but it was hard to hear since I had basically convinced myself it was something she could 'overcome' in time.

 

We just recently got the diagnosis, and I'm still in the-- trying to process it all-- stage.

 

Take care.. :grouphug:

[kiwi3129]

I just wanted to point out that "mental retardation" is the correct medical terminology for an IQ lower than 75. (Or is it 70? I forget.)

 

The book I was reading earlier today discussed this topic. In the introduction, the author explained that she would be using the term mental retardation throughout the book because that is the term that is used in the DSM-IV. She noted that many public school special ed programs also still use the term mental retardation. She took pains to assure the reader that she was in no way using the term in a disparaging way.

 

From what I've read online, it has been recommended that the DSM-V (which is supposed to be published next year) use the term intellectual disability rather than mental retardion.

[lauranc]

The book I was reading earlier today discussed this topic. In the introduction, the author explained that she would be using the term mental retardation throughout the book because that is the term that is used in the DSM-IV. She noted that many public school special ed programs also still use the term mental retardation. She took pains to assure the reader that she was in no way using the term in a disparaging way.

 

From what I've read online, it has been recommended that the DSM-V (which is supposed to be published next year) use the term intellectual disability rather than mental retardion.

 

Yeah.. our neuro-psych told us that the World Health Organization already uses the term Intellectual Disability and that the DSM-V is more than likely going to change to Intellectual Disability next year. So, in her report she uses both terms as a 'bridge' from the old to the new.

[Quiver0f10]

I just wanted to point out that "mental retardation" is the correct medical terminology for an IQ lower than 75. (Or is it 70? I forget.) However, advocates for the mentally retarded are trying to change the common terminology to a more PC term, that of "intellectual disability". You will start seeing more of this phrase and less of the other phrase as time wears on. However, the medical records will show MR since that is the formal medical diagnosis as of this time in our history.

 

I believe it is below 70.

Edited March 21, 2012 by Quiver0f10

[swellmomma]

That's the background. Now my questions. If you have a child who has been diagnosed with mild mr, would you mind sharing some things with me?

 

1. What materials have you used successfully to teach reading and math? Were there materials that you tried that didn't work well? (I have used All About Spelling and ABeCeDarian to try to teach her to read, but I think they both moved too fast for her. Here phonological awareness is also almost non-existant).

 

2. Has anyone used Dancing Bears with their child and how did that go?

 

3. What do you feel the long-term outlook for your child is in terms of independence, etc.?

 

4. Anything else that you feel would be helpful is appreciated.

 

Feel free to PM me if you prefer to not post such personal information to the board. I'll admit that I'm having a hard time dealing with this possibility right now. I'm hoping that if it is mild mr that we can at least get her skills to a level where she can live independently.

 

Thanks.

 

DS8 does not have mr however like your dd he was/is a nonreader and like you the SLP and OT told me not to teach him reading anymore. He has significant language delays and always has along with other Dx.

 

I did find using AAS very slowly with him has been making a huge improvement. THe SLP and OT were blown away at the improvement (we had 5 weeks whith no treatment due to scheduling issues). I have not used dancing bears so I can't speak about that. WIth AAS a lesson that dd would whip through in 10 minutes, I would break into 3-4 days for him. We would focus on 1 word or sound at a time. No one says you have to finish a lesson a day. You go at the child's pace. It has taken us 2 months to get through step 3 of AAS 1. For most people that is too slow, for ds it is just right and he is getting it.

 

Teaching math he really likes Horizons. He is 8 and in grade 2, but using the K level math books. THey are are the right level for him and he is progressing nicely. Again he is getting it, but we had to bring it back that far for him. If your dd is at age 4-5 developmental level another option might be the program I use for dd4 which is mathematical reasoning beginning. There is very little writing in book 1. It says it is for age 3 but I think it is a good fit for dd4, I am not sure how much if any writing book 2 which states for age 4 has

 

As for long term outlook, with ds8 I think long term he will be okay. I worry mostly about ds13, also no mr but enough issues that there is a significant chance he will not be able to live on his own or support himself properly. Certainly not at 18. I anticipate he will be home for years past that, just a matter of seeing how many.

[swellmomma]

Yeah, I actually went online and looked it up right after I posted that. Here's how it breaks down:

 

115-85 = normal intelligence

85-70 = borderline intelligence

70-55 = mild MR

55-40 = moderate MR

40-25 = severe MR

Below 25 = profound MR

 

I have often wondered about this chart. Ds13's IQ has dropped according to his last 2 IQ tests. At age 6 he was at 109, at age 12 he was 97. Anyone know if that is normal? The dr's blew off my questions about it at the time, but given that they "lost" his test results for 7 months because they supported my claims and not theirs I am not surprised. Is there risk of him continueing to drop? Obviously he is still within normal realms but still as a mom it worries me.

[houseofkids&pets]

Swellmomma, here is a link to an article on Wrightslaw (great site, btw) that explains falling IQ scores and the "Matthew Effect."

 

http://wrightslaw.com/advoc/ltrs/ltr_Pat_falling_IQscores.html

[swellmomma]

This is most interesting. I've never heard of this before. Thanks for sharing. Would you mind tagging this thread with "matthew effect" and/or "falling IQ"? I'm the one who already put the two tags on this thread, and I'm not allowed to do any more. :D

 

:iagree: (I made the new tags) It was an interesting read. I think during nap time I am going to come back and read some more on that page.

 

The problem then is how to stop and reverse this decline. I will start a new thread about so that I don't hijack this one.

[tlshive]

Wondering if any of you could post updates on how you are doing and how the curriculum that you chose worked for your kiddos? 

 

Our daughter, who recently turned 9, was adopted from China at 11 months.  Similar stories to those of you above.  Thought we'd 'catch up', that she was just behind due to her circumstances in China.  Lots of sensory issues, cognitive delays, developmental delays, speech, social struggles, etc.  Recent MR diagnosis, possible PDD-NOS, ADHD...  

 

Would love to hear how things are going.  

 

Thanks so much!

[Dav]

I just wanted to say that I could have written this post (substitute "5" for "2", and "he" for "she"). I so very much "get" every single word you wrote.

This was almost exactly our experience. For a while, I was convinced by the people who assured me that my older kids were advanced, it was normal for a boy to be behind, etc. When I finally accepted that something wasn't right, I researched just about everything except mental retardation. 

 

Wondering if any of you could post updates on how you are doing and how the curriculum that you chose worked for your kiddos? 

I wasn't one of the original respondents, but my son is a little older, so I hope you don't mind if I share what's worked for us. 

 

Ds turned 13 last month, and was diagnosed with mild mental retardation (now intellectual disability) at age 7. His most recent testing puts his IQ at 66, with his verbal scores a little higher than non-verbal. His only other diagnosis is ADHD (combined type), and he's generally a very agreeable, hard-working student. Going into "8th grade," Ds is reading at a 4th grade level and working on 3rd grade math. The programs we've used successfully for the basics are: 

 

Reading: 

Primary Phonics (every storybook, workbook, comprehension workbook and additional practice workbook), starting at age 8

Explode the Code books 4-8 (ETC moved too quickly when we tried it before Primary Phonics, but it was great for review) 

Comprehension workbooks (McCall-Crabbs, Inference Jones, Reading Detective)

 

Writing:

Handwriting Without Tears (just started cursive)

Daily copywork/basic dictation 

Evan-Moor Write a Super Sentence & Paragraph Writing 

 

Math:

Math-U-See

Workbooks (Math Mammoth, Kumon, etc.) and daily "real life" practice to cover money, time and measurement

Ds barely made it through the last few lessons of MUS Beta, then got completely stuck in the middle of Gamma. We switched to Saxon Intermediate 3 in May, but plan to add MUS back in within a few months. Ds loves Saxon (my other boys hated it!), so we'll keep both programs going as long as possible. 

 

A few that didn't go so well: 100 Easy Lessons, Hooked on Phonics, original writing before age 11, Developmental Math, TouchMath ($), Teaching Textbooks

 

Dh and I have started to discuss high school plans, but we'll be moving within the next year and our plans could change dramatically based on the services and programs offered in our new city. Academically, we're hoping to get his writing and math skills up to a 5th/6th grade level, but meeting our original goal of pre-algebra seems unlikely. Long-term, we hope that Ds is capable of living independently, but that he chooses to live with or very near one of his siblings. 

[tlshive]

Thank you so much for your response Dav!  It helps to hear from others who have journeyed just ahead of us and gives hope and motivation to press forward when feeling exhausted.  I've been researching the multitude of phonics programs out there and need to make a decision.  We have the 'I See Sam' series and she did well with those, I just felt like I needed more.  I've taught and like the K12 phonics program, but was also looking closely at Stevinson and AAR.  Some of the others that are highly recommended are not for kids with a low IQ.  I would love for her to be able to read.  :-)  Great to hear success stories!  It sounds like your DS has benefitted greatly in homeschooling.  We continually toy with the idea of going back to public school, but she was so overwhelmed.  Thanks again!  

[Ottakee]

.  We have the 'I See Sam' series and she did well with those, I just felt like I needed more.  

Have you looked at Apples and Pears spelling?  It goes very well with the I See Sam books and covers the spelling and rules....and kids pick up even more on the reading with them as well.  That company also has Dancing Bears and other reading programs that are very good for struggling kids.

[tlshive]

Have you looked at Apples and Pears spelling?  It goes very well with the I See Sam books and covers the spelling and rules....and kids pick up even more on the reading with them as well.  That company also has Dancing Bears and other reading programs that are very good for struggling kids.

I have briefly looked at it, just haven't dug in, so thank you for the recommendation.  I will go look at it now.  Would it be worth looking at AAS and AAR?  I peeked at this for my other child and wondered if it would work for Ell.  It makes sense that the spelling rules would help along the reading... sometimes I want to hit myself upside the head (like the V8 commercials) and say 'duh' why didn't I think of that before.  

 

So appreciate the reply!!

Thanks!

[Ottakee]

I have not used AAS or AAR so I can't say.  I just know that Apples and Pears and Dancing Bears (and the various different levels) are very easy to use and WORK.

[tlshive]

I have not used AAS or AAR so I can't say.  I just know that Apples and Pears and Dancing Bears (and the various different levels) are very easy to use and WORK.

 

They looked great, so I ordered the Bear Necessities and the Apples and Pears.  I like curriculum that is very teacher friendly and this looks easy to implement.  Really, really appreciate the information.  One thing to check off of my list.  :-) 

[Guest Tom12345]

I have a stepson who i recently got married to his mother about 2 years ago. Ive known him for about 5 years now. He is now mid 14 years old. Been diagnosed with mild retardation with a iQ of 52. Very bad motor skills, dyslexia, can barely write his name, cannot read. Let me start off by saying he was a twin premie born not even 2 pounds with lung disease undeveloped. Hes been on oxygen his whole life and now is down to only nights on oxygen. His twin sister also a premie is excelling in everything, music, art, straight A's. we are so proud of her. Now she is 14 going on 21. Very mature and smart and knows whats going on in the world with politics etc. im so so proud of her. In the past , ive had comments that i have the patience of a saint. Well, , , i dont know why but im trying to be a good father but my patience wears thin with him and i hate myself for it. He is now regressing instead of progressing. Hes been left back in the 6th grade 3 times because they fear he cannot take the stress of the high school. He goes to a special class in his school where they teach him to brush his teeth, eat, write, drink, not touch people all day, but he still has to be dressed, brushed teeth, wiped butt, has no idea whats going on and im not only worried for him, im worried for my wife in the future when he becomes 18 and tries to hurt her. Im also working 7 days a week like a dog with no child support and his ssi was cancelled when we got married. And i make $10 an hour. So a lot of fustration comes in especially when he is regressing and cant help bring in groceries or do anything to help because he is very selfish from his disablilities. Maybe i need therapy. This is supposed to be about him and this is turning out to be a rant about me.

[OneStepAtATime]

I have a stepson who i recently got married to his mother about 2 years ago. Ive known him for about 5 years now. He is now mid 14 years old. Been diagnosed with mild retardation with a iQ of 52. Very bad motor skills, dyslexia, can barely write his name, cannot read. Let me start off by saying he was a twin premie born not even 2 pounds with lung disease undeveloped. Hes been on oxygen his whole life and now is down to only nights on oxygen. His twin sister also a premie is excelling in everything, music, art, straight A's. we are so proud of her. Now she is 14 going on 21. Very mature and smart and knows whats going on in the world with politics etc. im so so proud of her. In the past , ive had comments that i have the patience of a saint. Well, , , i dont know why but im trying to be a good father but my patience wears thin with him and i hate myself for it. He is now regressing instead of progressing. Hes been left back in the 6th grade 3 times because they fear he cannot take the stress of the high school. He goes to a special class in his school where they teach him to brush his teeth, eat, write, drink, not touch people all day, but he still has to be dressed, brushed teeth, wiped butt, has no idea whats going on and im not only worried for him, im worried for my wife in the future when he becomes 18 and tries to hurt her. Im also working 7 days a week like a dog with no child support and his ssi was cancelled when we got married. And i make $10 an hour. So a lot of fustration comes in especially when he is regressing and cant help bring in groceries or do anything to help because he is very selfish from his disablilities. Maybe i need therapy. This is supposed to be about him and this is turning out to be a rant about me.

First, big hugs.  Second, maybe, if you could find a way to afford it, therapy might actually help.  You need to be able to talk this out with someone not directly involved with the situation that can help you gain some perspective and deal with your feelings of frustration and resentment, etc. etc so that perhaps you and your family can work together for some long and short-term, realistic goals.  It is normal for you to get unhappy inside yourself as you try to deal with this situation day in and day out.  But you need to find a way to be a positive influence on the situation and to be able, truly, deep down inside, to walk away from your resentment to your stepson.  That may take professional outside help.

 

Best wishes and hugs to all.