I'll learn a lot if you help me edit this sentence

[Familia]

I just need to settle my brain from all I am reading in Blue Book, Fix-It, and my TWSS manual! .
In essence, this sentence should be easy to edit for comma use, (I have gone through Rod & Staff, TWSS, and Fix-It after all!) but all that I've been learning from Fix-It and about sentence openers from IEW and the like have me all confused:blush:and befuddled!
Here is an example sentence that gets me second guessing myself:

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University and since it did not have a film school he majored in English"

All I've learned about editing (from IEW) has me thinking this way:
Eventually, he enrolled at California State University, and, since it did not have a film school, he majored in English.
It seems like too many commas! :confused:

I was using the IEW recommended comma use of "adverb opener-comma-main clause-comma-cc-dependent clause-comma-main clause."
I want to see if I am on the right track or if sometimes it's ok to leave out commas to give the poor punctuation marks a break!
Thank you,

Edited February 21, 2015 by secretgarden
addition

[TheHomeScientist]

I just need to settle my brain from all I am reading in Blue Book, Fix-It, and my TWSS manual! .

In essence, this sentence should be easy to edit for comma use, (I have gone through Rod & Staff, TWSS, and Fix-It after all!) but all that I've been learning from Fix-It and about sentence openers from IEW and the like have me all confused:blush:and befuddled!

If you can please tell me where to put the commas for this sentence and why, it will help me a lot.

 

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University and since it did not have a film school he majored in English"

 

Thank you,

 

Commas can be used to set pacing and to set off clauses, among other things.

 

If I were writing this sentence, I'd use commas as follows:

 

"Eventually, he enrolled at California State University and, since it did not have a film school, he majored in English"

 

The first comma sets pacing, and is optional. The second and third commas set off the clause. The sentence still parses correctly if you omit that clause, so it should be set off with commas.

[unity]

"Eventually, he enrolled at California State University, and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English."

 

I,cc {D,I}

 

The comma separates the two independent clauses and is placed before the conjunction. The second independent clause (he majored in English) is preceded by a dependent clause, which is set off by a comma. I agree that one could punctuate with a comma after the "and" (with or without the comma before the and), but I prefer this punctuation.

[Cindyg]

You have a choice.

 

My first choice:

 

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University; and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English"

 

When you have a sentence with two independent clauses plus other commas, you can use a semi colon to separate the two independent clauses. "Eventually he enrolled at CSU" is an independent clause. "Since it did not have a film school" is a dependent clause and requires a comma for sure. "He majored in English" is your second independent clause.

 

My second choice:

 

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University, and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English."

 

Where I used a semi colon after university, you can just use a comma. The semi colon is optional. But some punctuation there is mandatory. The comma after school is mandatory.

 

A comma would be optional after the one-word introduction eventually, though I think most would skip it.

[chepyl]

[size=3"

 

"Eventually, he enrolled at California State University; and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English"

 

Thank you,[/size]

 

This could be written in simplified form:

Eventually, he enrolled at California Stayed University. Since it did not have a film school, he majored in English.

 

The commas set aside eventually and the phrase in sentence two. Because they could ne two complete sentences with commas separating phrases in each sentence, the period is replaced by a semi colon to make a compund complex sentence. I may be wrong, but that is how I would punctuate the sentence. The word and seems unnecessary.

[Miss Marple]

You have a choice.

 

My first choice:

 

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University; and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English"

 

When you have a sentence with two independent clauses plus other commas, you can use a semi colon to separate the two independent clauses. "Eventually he enrolled at CSU" is an independent clause. "Since it did not have a film school" is a dependent clause and requires a comma for sure. "He majored in English" is your second independent clause.

 

My second choice:

 

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University, and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English."

 

Where I used a semi colon after university, you can just use a comma. The semi colon is optional. But some punctuation there is mandatory. The comma after school is mandatory.

 

A comma would be optional after the one-word introduction eventually, though I think most would skip it.

 

Wouldn't you omit the word "and" when adding the semi-colon? I was under the impression that the semi-colon joins 2 independent clauses and the "and" is a conjunction which should only be used with a comma.

 

ETA: I would replace the word "since" with "because". I don't know why, but the word "since" seems to indicate a time period rather than a reason. :D

[Familia]

Thanks for all the responses so far. I think that I was expecting to know one exact way to punctuate this sentence with commas. Given the diversity of your answers, maybe I was being too hard on myself!:) I guess comma usage is more subjective than I thought!

My ds says that in SWCC-B Mr. Pudewa says that his Canadian teacher said that American writers use way too many commas! I want to steer ds in a consistent direction.

It depends on the evaluator doesn't it?

Thanks,

[Colleen in NS]

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University; and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English"

 

When you have a sentence with two independent clauses plus other commas, you can use a semi colon to separate the two independent clauses. "Eventually he enrolled at CSU" is an independent clause. "Since it did not have a film school" is a dependent clause and requires a comma for sure. "He majored in English" is your second independent clause.

 

 

This one appeals to my R&S-trained sensibilities. :D Clear and efficient.

[readinmom]

"Eventually, he enrolled at California State University, and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English."

 

:iagree:

 

If we are just talking about commas, that is. (otherwise, previous suggestions are appropriate) It does come down to personal preference, though.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

This one appeals to my R&S-trained sensibilities. :D Clear and efficient.

 

:iagree:

[Candid]

Wouldn't you omit the word "and" when adding the semi-colon? I was under the impression that the semi-colon joins 2 independent clauses and the "and" is a conjunction which should only be used with a comma.

 

ETA: I would replace the word "since" with "because". I don't know why, but the word "since" seems to indicate a time period rather than a reason. :D

 

:iagree:

[Teachin'Mine]

 

"Eventually he enrolled at California State University and since it did not have a film school he majored in English"

 

 

You're right that there are different ways to do it correctly. This is probably what I would do, but I do tend to use too many commas. :tongue_smilie:

 

Eventually he enrolled at California State University and, since it did not have a film school, he majored in English.

 

I would put the comma after the and since a sentence should be able to stand on its own without a prepositional phrase in commas. There's no problem with using the word "since" as it was used.

 

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/since

 

If I wanted to use "because" I would word it differently.

 

Eventually he enrolled at California State University and majored in English, because it did not have a film school.

 

But this isn't based on anything other than my take on it. :)

[Cailin]

"Eventually, he enrolled at California State University, and since it did not have a film school, he majored in English."

 

I,cc {D,I}

 

The comma separates the two independent clauses and is placed before the conjunction. The second independent clause (he majored in English) is preceded by a dependent clause, which is set off by a comma. I agree that one could punctuate with a comma after the "and" (with or without the comma before the and), but I prefer this punctuation.

 

Yes, and the comma after "eventually" is optional, but I don't agree that a comma is correct after "and".

Edited May 22, 2012 by Cailin
Read the last sentence and didn't agree.

[Teachin'Mine]

Yes, and the comma after "eventually" is optional, but I don't agree that a comma is correct after "and".

 

It may very well not be, but "since" is a conjunction in that sentence too. Would love to know if it's possibly right both ways.

[The Governess]

I think you should put the commas where you inserted the clause.

 

This sentence doesn't need a comma:

 

Eventually he enrolled at California State University and he majored in English.

 

You could put a comma after eventually but it's optional.

 

When you add the clause you put a comma before and after it:

 

Eventually he enrolled at California State University and, since it did not have a film school, he majored in English.