What am I dealing with here?

[nancypants]

I really don't know what I'm dealing with. For a long time I've just thought that my 8yos was just ahead a bit. As he progresses in his reading ability though and his ability to reason, I am starting to ask myself if I am already beginning to get out of my league. Thankfully he is at a manageable grade level for math and science... those are the big doozies I'm really quite nervous about as the kids get older. But he leaves my head spinning as far as where to go in every other subject.

 

He just turned 8 in April and is almost done reading Tolkien's Silmarillion, which he just started about two weeks ago, and Unfinished tales. My husband who has his Master's Degree in Theology could not even make it through the Silmarillion when he was in University because it was too tedious for him. The only reason I am mentioning specific books is to give you an idea of how out of my league I am beginning to feel with this child!

 

How am I going to continue teaching him? Writing is not quite as easy for him but once he gets into it, he blows me away with how he wordsmiths. Going through the grammar and spelling curricula for next year I settled on a 5th grade grammar text (daily grams) and a 7th grade spelling curric. (Spelling Workout). But I realize that from his response to the first lesson of Spelling, "Oh this will be easy," that well... quite frankly I don't know where to go with him.

 

He's 8. I don't want to rush him. I am not pushing him. I want him to be a child but... this isn't easy... I mean, when he starts talking about what he wants to be when he grows up he uses words like "Philology"!!

 

I guess I just wonder, how the heck am I going to keep up with him? And how do I keep him humble? So far, he desires to be humble and he doesn't try to make people feel dumb... but sometimes he expresses true consternation at the fact that his brother (6) doesn't know something "so obvious."

 

He acts like a little boy. Plays in the dirt, loves worms, loves to ride his bike, fights with his brothers over the typical dumb things that kids fight about... it's just that when it comes to school I feel that I will be in over my head before I know it and I don't know where this will lead. I don't want my son to be a grown up too early but I absolutely refuse to bore him to death and hold him back from excelling to the best of his abilities... I just don't know what that looks like!

 

Any words of advice?

[nitascool]

Your 8yo sounds so much like mine down to the April birthday. Though my ds also has a cognitive delay that sometimes slows him down, with things he doesn't enjoy... like math and penmanship. Oh and he doesn't like to ride his bike (balance issues from Sensory Processing Disorder).

 

 

I guess I just wonder, how the heck am I going to keep up with him?

 

The thing I've learned over the last few years is that there is no way I can keep up with him... I have 3 other children to educate. So over the last 3 years we have been paying close attention to character development. And working hard at teaching him what we think is appropriate and inappropriate materials.

 

I just can't preread everything he reads (10-15 chapter books a week on top of his SOTW and WTM reading lists). We talk about what the "theme" of the book was about. What things were appropriate and inappropriate. We avoid too many pop-culture books that tend to have an obvious lack of parental involvement and philosophies we don't agree with, in favor of older tried and true books. But every once in a while something slips through and my ds has been know to stop reading in the middle of a sentence just because there's something not right.

 

I buy materials that have answer keys, especially in Grammar (which is his strongest suite) or is subjective and can be used for many age levels. I also give him both age appropriate and advanced materials with school subjects. I expect that all age appropriate materials are completed quickly, but don't require all advanced materials to be completed or understood (except in grammar). For instance this year he will be doing Adventures with Atoms and Molecules, Mastering the Periodic Table, A Taste of Science, Science in the Kitchen and several fun Science Kits. While we will go through all of these books I don't expect him to "catch" all of the terminology in Adventures with Atoms and Molecules. (Though he will likely complain that it's not enough which is why we watch NOVA).

 

And how do I keep him humble?

We try to remind our son, when he has a humility issue (which is rare) that it is good to have knowledge, but it is better to have wisdom. Wisdom tells us when and how to use the knowledge that we have. Anyone can be "educated" but it takes more dedication to be wise. We also practice honor in our home, we both model it and require it.

Any words of advice?

Breath deep and often. Take time out to do as many fun things as your ds will allow (and remember his idea of fun may not be the same). And when things get frustrating take a break for your own sanity's sake.

[nancypants]

We try to remind our son, when he has a humility issue (which is rare) that it is good to have knowledge, but it is better to have wisdom. Wisdom tells us when and how to use the knowledge that we have.

 

Wow, are we ever alike! We told him almost exactly this in these words just last night during a good conversation we had about where he is going in his studies.

 

Thanks for your thoughts!! I also have three other up and comings... presumably all on a bit more of a "normal" learning curve... (so far!!)

[Desert Rat]

We deal with similar issues here. He doesn't have the internal drive as much as your son though. I have to continually find the balance between guiding him in the right direction and not pushing too hard.

As far as humility goes, well, we remind Huck often that everyone has a gift and that his just happens to be processing information quickly. We remind him that he's entering 3rd grade despite what level it says on the outside of workbooks or texts. It's hard because he doesn't have any peers on the same level as him. Other kids can share how well they did on their spelling tests but if Huck does then it comes off as bragging. But we make sure to give him adequate praise at home because he does have esteem issues. We also tell him that because he was given this awesome gift, it's his duty to make sure he uses it well by helping others. This has helped tremendously.

As for advise, I'm not sure I can give any. I try to encourage and challenge him. I fill his life with many opportunities to learn, whether he picks them up or not is his choice (beyond our curriculum, of course!). And personally, I try not to think more than one year ahead because I get too overwhelmed at the thought.

I can say that I'm really enjoying learning with him and his little brother.

Docendo, discimus. By teaching we learn!

HTH to know you aren't alone!

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I am starting to ask myself if I am already beginning to get out of my league.

 

:grouphug: I feel your pain. I don't know if you believe in a supreme being, but I believe our children were given exactly the parents they are supposed to have. You are not alone. Most parents of highly gifted kids feel out of their league on a weekly, if not daily basis.

 

The only reason I am mentioning specific books is to give you an idea of how out of my league I am beginning to feel with this child!

 

It took me a long time to get to a point where I can be very matter of fact about what dd is working on and not feel guilty in front of other parents.

 

How am I going to continue teaching him? Writing is not quite as easy for him but once he gets into it, he blows me away with how he wordsmiths. Going through the grammar and spelling curricula for next year I settled on a 5th grade grammar text (daily grams) and a 7th grade spelling curric. (Spelling Workout). But I realize that from his response to the first lesson of Spelling, "Oh this will be easy," that well... quite frankly I don't know where to go with him.

 

This sounds like my dd. I don't think I will ever get all the levels just right. I got EG 4 for her this year, and she says it is too easy. I know there are things in that book she still needs to learn, and we will just compact or pre-test out of the 'easy" stuff.

 

I guess I just wonder, how the heck am I going to keep up with him? And how do I keep him humble? So far, he desires to be humble and he doesn't try to make people feel dumb... but sometimes he expresses true consternation at the fact that his brother (6) doesn't know something "so obvious."

 

Soccer has done wonders for my dd. She is not the best on the team by any stretch of the imagination and there are a couple girls who are quite good. So she can see that her little friend is a gifted runner. Piano has also been good because it is hard for dd and she really has to work at it.

 

He's 8. I don't want to rush him. I am not pushing him. I want him to be a child but... this isn't easy... I mean, when he starts talking about what he wants to be when he grows up he uses words like "Philology"!!...

 

He acts like a little boy. Plays in the dirt, loves worms, loves to ride his bike, fights with his brothers over the typical dumb things that kids fight about... it's just that when it comes to school I feel that I will be in over my head before I know it and I don't know where this will lead. I don't want my son to be a grown up too early but I absolutely refuse to bore him to death and hold him back from excelling to the best of his abilities

 

Playing in the dirt and reading Tolkien are not either or choices. Just because he takes a college level class, that is not going to make him grow up any faster than normal. There is no rule that says he can't have Transformers in his bookbag:) He is going to be a kid- the kid he is. Maybe his idea of being a kid is a little different than the boy down the block- oh well.

 

My dd said this to me yesterday, and I thought it was quite profound- "My differentness is on the inside and nobody can see it. But there are kids who are born with one leg or something else on their body they can't hide. When you are different in a way people can see I think it makes you braver because you have to learn to fit in even though everybody can see you are different. It's easy to hide and pretend to be like everybody else when people can't see your differences on the outside."

[nancypants]

Thank you so much!! Your thoughts have been so helpful... and Jedi Academy, Wow... your daughter had a great insight! (Yes, I believe in a higher power, btw. My hubby is a minister. :D) Thank you again and again Kalah and Jedi Academy (sorry for shortening your name!) ;)

[KAR120C]

I don't want my son to be a grown up too early but I absolutely refuse to bore him to death and hold him back from excelling to the best of his abilities... I just don't know what that looks like!

 

Any words of advice?

I can only give you the speech I give myself over and over (someday it should sink in... right?) I don't have to be ahead of him, I just have to give him what he needs from me. At some points that will be teaching (I'm still teaching!) but eventually that might be finding mentors or buying materials or just getting out of the way.

 

Some subjects make me nervous too -- math included (oddly enough -- I'm really no slouch in the math department! LOL). Partly because I have a terrible memory for formulae (and have to re-derive them each time) and partly because he has a terrible memory for formulae... and derives them faster that I do. Just yesterday we were working on what I had decided was probably the hardest math he'd done this year and I was all prepared to sit down and work through with him and he just said "oh yeah, got it"... and I was still working. I used to be the math whiz... unseated by my own darling child! *sigh* ;)

 

So my strategy is not to stay ahead (honestly I don't think I can much longer!), but to be the resource he needs. I have to let lessons unfold collaboratively rather than draw them out in my own directions, and I have to lead him to useful resources and work with him when he needs the support. And I figure he'll get extra practice in everything as he has to re-teach it back to me. LOL

 

But my job is also to protect him from carrying too much at his age... to keep an eye on how he's doing, that he gets time to play and time to work hard and time to not care about his education, and time to explore areas that aren't his particular strengths. That's why I can't put him in school right now... I don't see any place where he can do all of that except at home. And when he's a little older, if he's still as far ahead in math, we'll be dealing with the issues of early college admission, and whether he still needs us to mediate between him and the adult world (finding mentors rather than enrolling outright, or something like that....)

 

And we buy our Tolkein in paperback... who knows whether it might get used to build a fort on the off days ;)

[Jugglin'5]

I don't think you'll need to do much teaching. Mostly I think you'll just need to get out of his way.:001_smile: Kids like that need the right resources, plenty of books, and occasional checking to see that they are doing their math. I think homeschooling is perfect for this type of child. I would bet that when he gets a bit older, he will actually get annoyed with you for doing too much teaching. "Just give me the book, Mom". When he gets even older you can let him take Wes Callihan's Anglo-Saxon course on-line;).

[Kathleen in VA]

I think he might enjoy the book "Carry On, Mr. Bowditch" by Jean Lee Latham. It is about Nathaniel Bowditch who was somewhat of a math prodigy and from time to time had difficulty relating to people who couldn't understand what he considered to be easy concepts. It's fun reading, too, although it is only on a 6th grade level.

[elizabeth]

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ Get thee to hoagies online read everything there...I have been there do not worry . He is developing at a fast clip and that is not unusual for the highly gifted learner. http://vcbconsulting.com/gtworld/iqgrade.html Study this chart and it will help you see that these children do not "slow down" at all but rather seem to leap through milestones at a pace that is downright eerie. For these kids-it is their normal. Just wait til he uses his knowledge of Latin to display his ability to translate anything-yep that kind of anything from English into Latin-good times dear lady. Hoagies and using TWTM have saved my mind more times than I can count. Tolkien is just wonderful-George Macdonald and Baum's sequels to Oz have very difficult syntax and will delight your guy. Try to find the old Tom Swift books as well-lots of inventions, science and pretty well written. The hardest thing at my house has always been to challenge with complexityin terms of vocabulary and syntax but keep an eye on subject matter that is too much for dd and her tender years.Generally, fantasy and sci fi are the genres she prefers .Singapore math rocks here if you have not used it do so for your benefit and your son's-there is nothing comparable for elementary math for accelerated students. Hope to have helped in some fashion.

[purplecow7]

Enjoy...one of the most amazing things is to watch a young mind work. The hardest part is trying to figure out what "age" they are. One minute you are having an amazing conversation about how cells divide and the next minute there is the tantrum because his sister touched his favorite piece of string that he had left on the floor two days ago.... so I feel your pain and it is "normal".

 

My 9 year old goes to a GT magnet school and we afterschooling him in mostly math - his passion. He wants to do algebra this summer. We will also do some afterschooling in writing because well his 7 year old sister has started correcting his grammer. lol. Oh and beware, just because #2 or #3 or in my case #4 don't show the same early signs - they do say that most siblings IQ are only off by 5 points or so. While my oldest shows his giftedness in math, my 7 year dd shows it in writing. And well both my 4 year old twins are reading and doing basic math. The issue is that this level of education becomes normal and you start to forget that they are above the curve just in different ways.

 

We stress that with all our children -that they all have their own strengths and weakness and for my oldest who started to get a big head because he was in GT. We told him that the only difference between him and some of his friends who did not get in, was that he just learns the stuff faster. We try to stress that it is in the doing and trying that is important not just the knowing. We also do Tae Kwon Do and that has a lot of lessons about always doing your best and respecting others who may not be doing it as well, but if they are giving 100% that is what is important.

 

And finally I would say go with your gut...you know your child the best and you will know what is right for him. I found that some of my neighbors thought I was being a pushy parent - what they failed to realized is that I started afterschooling because my son came home crying in first grade because of math. So what if my 9 year old wants to do algebra - why not. I am not pushing him or forcing him - he just wants to do it. Now with that said there will be some forcing with the writing because well that is his weakest link and it will start to hurt him in science and math if he does not start his sentences with capitals and end his sentences with periods. lol

[Storm Bay]

It sounds like you really don't need to do much in the way of academic teaching, just like some don't need to to much in the way of social skills, sports, etc. My eldest learns almost all her academics on her own, but I do other teaching with her.

 

Carry on Mr. Bowditch is a great read. My 10 yo loved it. My 13 yo didn't at that age because too many people in it died (including his first wife). I have two very, very sensitive kids. My other one is very sensitive in different ways--she cried reading Elsie Dinsmore because Elsie's Dad was angry with Elsie, but easily read a book on the history of the Roman gladiator fights.

 

You will have to carve your own path here, because there are no hard and fast rules about kids like this. The Hoagies link already given is a good one.

[Storm Bay]

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ http://vcbconsulting.com/gtworld/iqgrade.html Study this chart and it will help you see that these children do not "slow down" at all but rather seem to leap through milestones at a pace that is downright eerie. Hope to have helped in some fashion.

 

This helped me. It explains why once the novelty of school wore of it was so slow and booooring. And I do relate to the impatience of others not getting things that seem so obvious. No one really taught me how to overcome that, so I learned the hard way. It helps if there's even one area that's tough for your child to learn. No one is equally smart in all 8 types of intelligence, so there has to be at least one thing that takes work, if you can find it. For me, it was any game involving a rapidly moving ball. I was afraid of getting hurt and not athletically gifted.

[AndyJoy]

Your son sounds a lot like my husband! He is mildly dyslexic and didn't read until age 6 1/2, but by 8 was reading the LOTR books and getting in trouble at at school for not wanting to read 3rd grade level books.

 

Some things that I've learned from my husband's childhood that were useful for him were:

 

1. learning to play an instrument--this was both humbling, and an emotional release

 

2. meaningful acceleration--my husband attended public school but his parents were able to work the system to get him into college calculus at age 15. He was a "troublemaker" in the eyes of most teachers, because he was bored out of his mind and thus commonly slept or skipped class but aced tests (which he probably could have done on day one if given the chance)

 

3. team sports--another outlet for excess energy and a chance to just be "one of the guys", not the crazy smart kid

 

4. academic competitions--bridge building contests, Battle of the Books, math olympics, Odyssey of the Mind, etc. Though he usually did well, these contests reminded him that there were other bright people out there. This is both humbling and encouraging for a gifted kid. My husband yearned to leave his small town for college where he had hope of meeting someone on his level intellectually.

 

5. physical projects--my husband always had some craft, project, broken machine, random parts, etc. in the works. He enjoyed struggling with something that didn't necessary have a single solution like memorizing a fact. Not surprisingly, he is now a research engineer. We looked hard for a job for him, because most entry-level engineering jobs were "cog-in-the-wheel" jobs, not truly cutting edge.

 

6. volunteer opportunities--he developed more compassion and was more humble when he got outside of the constant academic environment and served others. As a child/teen he worked for Habitat for Humanity, played board games with senior citizens, participated in the junior police program, taught Sunday School/AWANA, started a community bicycle program, volunteered at a homeless shelter, etc.

 

Hopefully something here is helpful.

 

Andrea

[Bloy]

Do you have a local university that he could take a class at (perhaps one per semester, in an area of interest?) He may have to take a standardized test, or perhaps there is a local community college that might allow him to take classes. It really depends on their requirements.

 

Adding second/third languages.

 

Musical instruments.

 

Mentors.

 

Have fun.

[bairnmama]

How am I going to continue teaching him? Writing is not quite as easy for him but once he gets into it, he blows me away with how he wordsmiths. Going through the grammar and spelling curricula for next year I settled on a 5th grade grammar text (daily grams) and a 7th grade spelling curric. (Spelling Workout). But I realize that from his response to the first lesson of Spelling, "Oh this will be easy," that well... quite frankly I don't know where to go with him.

 

I don't have this kind of concern with my own dc, but thought I would throw my 2 cents in anyway. Instead of trying to find separate curriculum pieced at different levels, and possibly getting some too easy & some too hard, have you thought about an all encompassing one (well in the humanities anyway) like Tapestry of Grace? I've been looking long and hard about using it for our school basically for *my* needs since my dc are so young. I was one of those kids that just seemed to pick everything up without being taught (I always read, drew pictures, took notes in mirror images, etc in class), but in public school in a small town with no private schools and a severely lacking library, so there was not much available for personal pursuits.

 

TOG gives you background, dialogue questions, book recommendations etc for all the stages of classical education - grammer to rhetoric all in one place. They even have a preview of every week to give you a head's up for potentially sensitive topics, tough concepts/ideologies, etc in the next week's assignments and the pages/chapters involved. They have a Writing Aids section that is also K-12, although I am not sure if grammer is specifically involved, but I'm sure there are others you could ask about that. The beauty I find in it for your situation is that because all the levels are already there, you can easily shift up or down in content, maturity/understanding level required without having to totally scrap a resource. It might give you more flexibility to just let him go and see where his talents take him.

 

Again, just my opinion..... it looks like you are going to have quite a ride for the next several years. Just try to enjoy it as much as possible. :D

[nancypants]

Thanks everyone for the continued input! You all have been very helpful and insightful!

[Nestof3]

My 8 year old is what I would consider verbally advanced with strong retention (began talking at 10 months and hasn't stopped). He loves words and chooses them so carefully when speaking. He memorizes chapter of books and recites them. He too is reading Tolkien, though he just finished with The Hobbit and is now reading the trilogy. Yesterday at the library, he was conversing with a bright young lady about his rewards for the library reading program which he completed, and he informed her he didn't really need any rewards to compel him to read -- that reading itself was a reward. He also retorted with a quote from the Hobbit one time. He does that often -- he's very witty and can often choose just the right quote from a book to use in conversation.

 

My son surely doesn't sound as verbally advanced as yours, and aside from his passion for history and science, he's really quite average in math. Sometimes, though, I already wonder if I am doing everything right. In seeing the two young people volunteering with the library reading program -- a young lady and young man -- I was impressed by their intellect and verbal skill. They were both passionate about books and learning, and for a moment I actually grieved for what I missed during my childhood.

 

I truly believe those years are very formative, and I grew up in a non-reading family with zero conversation. I spent most of my time watching television and reading Sweet Valley High! Now that I homeschool and am watching Nathan grow, I realize that it really is important to encourage the gifting within a child. My parents were unequipped to do so. My mom tells me all the time that Nathan reminds her so much of me as a child, and though I can see it in so many ways, it actually saddens me because I see so much that was wasted in my own life. My Mom is often unable to respond to Nathan because she doesn't understand what he's talking about (she honestly doesn't understand the words he chooses), and my Dad is always acting concerned, saying things like "How can he keep all of that information in his brain -- that can't be good." He's even told me that his neighbor asked him how I could fulfill his educational needs since he is obviously gifted.

 

So, often I feel inadequeate because I feel like my own potential was squelched, leaving me floundering around now trying to sate his desires and trying to figure out what to offer him. I feel like I could provide what he needs if only I could determine what those needs are. Does that make any sense?

[Kimber]

Hi Dawn,

 

Your post reminded me of my own past. While my family values education, always has, my mother was a single mom and didn't have the time, energy, nor the money to invest in my "bookish" interests. I read every book I could find, hung out at the school library every chance I got, and walked to the library during the summers to get books to read. My sister and I were the only kids in our library during the summer months, reading. And not once did the librarians ever suggest books for us to read.

 

My dd10 on the other hand has me to encourage her. She reads constantly, and I buy her books like crazy to feed her need to read. Now I am buying them for my son and my nephew in LA. It's fun to see them grow and develop in ways we couldn't. But it does make me sad, at times, to think of what education I could have had.

 

So now I spend my summers cramming on history to prepare for the school year. I am researching curriculum like crazy, reading the classics, and I'm learning Spanish.

 

I am having the time of my life. And my kids see it.

 

I think our lack of support can be a blessing for our kids. Because we have fresh eyes to all of this "bookish" stuff, we can really bring a passion to learn to our homeschool. I think it's great modeling for our kids that learning is forever and that it's never too late.

 

Along with modeling learning, just following his interest is the first place to start.

[Nestof3]

Thanks Kimber for sharing your experience as well!

 

I don't have that much time for personal learning right now, but I do spend a lot of time learning along with my boys. It has been fabulous reading aloud all of these books I could have read when I was young! Don't get me wrong, I do read some.

 

I read Nectar in a Sieve (incredible book -- it was actually the second time I read it), Remains of the Day (one of my favorite movies), and I began Pride and Prejudice, which I was enjoying, but haven't picked it up in a while. Right now I am reading a nonfiction book Creative Homeschooling: A Resource Guide for Smart Families.

 

I do enjoy doing Dell Logic Puzzles from time to time and reading Two Minute Mysteries and such.

 

I really enjoyed a DVD series by the Teaching Company titled "The History of Science from Antiquity to 1700." I really need to finish it. Someone else put a hold on it from the library, and I haven't checked it out since. I usually only watch videos when I'm on my bike, and this one just isn't the right kind for sweating like crazy. :lol:

 

I also started learning Greek with my oldest son, but we both stopped that when it proved too much for his schedule. I may go back to it some day.

 

I also scrapbook and make cards when I have time.

 

Right now I am spending quite a bit of time getting my body back in shape, and I'm feeling so much better. Aside from that, it seems that just taking care of the paperwork for my husband's business, doing domestic stuff and homeschooling exhaust all of my time.