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The biggest mistake I ever made with homeschooling ....


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...... and I've made several :001_huh:

 

But the one I most regret right now was trusting the public school system to teach the subject I felt most unqualified to teach: Math. I'm terrible with math. I can do Algebra, Geometry and the like, but I really didn't feel qualified to teach it. So I sent dd part-time to the local public middle school and high school so she could receive the benefit of "real teaching". Big Mistake! :glare:

 

She received A's all the way through Algebra II. I thought "all is well", right? Then because of certain extenuating circumstances, I needed her to do her Pre-Calc online. This is when I found out how terribly "dumbed down" the public school math was. I don't know if it's like this everywhere...... but it is certainly the case here! ARRRGGGGGHHHHH!

 

Wish I could take that decision back and have a "do-over". :tongue_smilie:

 

How about you? Are there decisions you've made that you wish you hadn't? Maybe something that could be of benefit to the rest of us so we don't go down the same path?

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I wish I'd had the courage to go through with homeschooling in the first place. I'm planning DS1's curriculum for next year and I'm realizing how much he was held back from learning what he was most interested in. So if you're reading this wondering if you should homeschool or not... I'm you two years later and yes I have regrets because now I'm having to reteach him the love of learning that he lost.

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I don't feel "qualified" to teach Language Arts to my kids . . . and I'm a writer! So, I'm just plugging along with the LA curriculum we have KNOWING that my kids are getting a better education at home, regardless of how I feel about my qualifications. The LORD will use all to His good, even my mistakes!

 

Fear is never a good reason to use for not doing something.

 

As for using the "wrong" program for a subject, don't regret the decision to use it. Learn from it and move on. You wouldn't have known it was "wrong" unless you had used it in the first place. Now, when you look at similar programs, you'll know that certain style won't work, and you can look elsewhere.

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Well I am sort of a future hs'er since my oldest is 3.5, but I did teach high school math in the ps and just wanted to mention in response to the op, many math teachers are frustrated at how we've had to lower standards b/c the failure rate is so high and administrative pressures, not as much tracking, etc, etc- but I have also found that students don't have the retention due to shorter assignments, lack of assignments that are completed, how much cramming students do before a test, etc. Anyway, if your dd was an A student (even if the standards were lowered), I think with a bit of review, she should be able to tackle pre-calc. You might check out www.aleks.com - I think it does a great job reviewing what you need for a particular course. (And it makes students review as they go to make sure they remember.)

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I started too soon.

 

My four-year old asked me to teach her how to read. Once I bought a program, I couldn't figure out how to stop the train. She keeps asking for more and more and more, which is fine. I just WANT to do more fun stuff with her. We do a lot of crafts, cutting and pasting, and stuff I think a five-year old is supposed to do, but I always feel like I should have delayed everything more.

 

My two-year old is now asking me to teach her how to read. She gets out the letter flashcards, brings them to me, and says, "Teach me to read like Peanut". If I say we'll work on it later, she takes the cards to her big sister. Ugh. No way. She does do stuff with letters, but only things to occupy her while I work with my five-year old. I do break down and do the cards with her, but I want to get back into the forest and chase butterflies. When I take them to do outdoors stuff, they insist on taking school things. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

 

But really, I'm not complaining. I just want more magic for them.

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I worried too much about the social stuff.

I worried too much about sitting and completing programs, etc.

If I could do it again, I would have made more time for reading more books, listening to more books, extensive math where grade level was never even brought up, less time with "home school groups." I let my oldest attend public high school his senior year. He away at college now and we are all still trying to recover.

My favorite thing we did was to read the same book at the same time and then discuss it at the dinner table. I checked out 4 copies of a book and 1 on cd for the little guy. The first one we read like that was "Watership Down." We still talk about that and the fact that we enjoyed the experience. I would do more of that if I could. I would attend more Shakespeare in the Park.

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I have to choose 1? :001_huh:

 

I'll take two, because I don't like following directions, and the two are related.

 

The biggest mistake I made homeschooling was not getting my ds a math tutor. He had been in ps and had missed some fundamental math concepts. We struggled with math for years before he finally understood what he'd been lacking then quickly caught up. We could have prevented a lot of years of misery if we'd figured it out sooner.

 

 

The other biggest mistake I made was falling into the idea that I need a perfect curriculum to teach. What I really needed to understand is that I needed to teach and use the material as a tool. I can't buy my kids a perfect education. I need to teach them.

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I worried too much about the social stuff.

I worried too much about sitting and completing programs, etc.

If I could do it again, I would have made more time for reading more books, listening to more books, extensive math where grade level was never even brought up, less time with "home school groups." I let my oldest attend public high school his senior year. He away at college now and we are all still trying to recover.

My favorite thing we did was to read the same book at the same time and then discuss it at the dinner table. I checked out 4 copies of a book and 1 on cd for the little guy. The first one we read like that was "Watership Down." We still talk about that and the fact that we enjoyed the experience. I would do more of that if I could. I would attend more Shakespeare in the Park.

 

Love the read together suggestion! What a great idea! Any other books you read that way?

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Wish I had gone with Suzuki instead of Musicgarten. And wish I had switched from MG to S when I realized it was a disaster instead of trying to make it work. As a result, my naturally musical kids, from a family full of musicians, HATE music.

 

I also wish I hadn't let my feelings for my MIL influence my doing the good things while young with my kids. That's a long boring story.

 

Making them write more when they were younger.

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We started too early. Dd is an only child and we live at the end of a rural, dead-end road. She was bored and asking to learn to read. So I decided to do "4yo Kindergarten", even though she was actually 3yo when we started in August, but turned 4yo in October. She did so well that we ended up skipping 5yo K and went straight into 1st grade.

 

I think she has done well with the academics but her normal, age-appropriate maturity level has caused some problems. Handwriting, for example, was a struggle-she might have been doing 2nd grade work but still had those little 5yo finger muscles. Math was another issue. She could do all the problems, but did not have the maturity to focus for very long. So she did well only if I sat there and constantly repeated, "And what do you do next?". She always knew what to do next, but didn't have the maturity to focus and do it without prompting.

 

A couple of close calls for us:

I almost fell into the whole co-op frenzy. It would have been a long drive for us, plus if I had wanted someone else to teach my dd, I would have pursued another schooling option. I realized that I wanted to homeschool-to teach dd myself the way I thought things should have been taught, not just avoid public school.

 

Early on I read the quote, "Comparison is the death of contentment." I am so glad I did. I am a very competitive person by nature and it has been hard for me to not compare dd's academics to those of other homeschoolers or our public school friends. By the grace of God and the skin of my teeth, I have held firm and strongly believe that our educational journey has been much better for that. Children are different, they will have different needs in their futures, and comparison is at best unproductive and at worst, destructive.

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And I regret that we messed around with taking the AP Bio test at the school--the school changed her test paper and she ended up with a 1! We don't fool around with AP tests any more and just do college classes. Lesson learned!

 

:001_huh: Wow, were they intentionally trying to lower her score or just incompetent?

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The other biggest mistake I made was falling into the idea that I need a perfect curriculum to teach. What I really needed to understand is that I needed to teach and use the material as a tool. I can't buy my kids a perfect education. I need to teach them.

 

What a great thought! Thanks so much!

 

This is our first full year of true homeschooling, not just afterschooling. I regret not doing it sooner. I looked into it before kindergarten, but wasn't aware of the WTM and uncertain I was up to the commitment. DS spent almost three years in PS bored out of his mind.

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In an effort to make homeschool fun and interesting, I kept changing methods and materials. We very rarely finished a program. I was very lucky that it didn't harm my children too much, but they definitely would have been better off if I had been more consistent.

 

THIS!

My two older girls are well behind now because I kept switching up. I started with TWTM recommendations and we did way to much way to soon. I never gave us a chance to ease into homesechooling. We burned out FAST! Then the curriculum switchups began. Now I'm more settled and we are playing catch up with the older girls. Some of it was me and some of it was learning and emotional delays that they deal with. It's still really hard!

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Having a more relaxed year one year when a couple of my kids were in high school. It was health-related so kind of necessary, but still, it set them into a bad pattern that was difficult to break.

 

But, life happens, and all in all, I feel pretty good about how it went academically, and very good about how it went with them growing up to be kind, happy, creative, independent adults.

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In an effort to make homeschool fun and interesting, I kept changing methods and materials. We very rarely finished a program. I was very lucky that it didn't harm my children too much, but they definitely would have been better off if I had been more consistent.

 

:iagree:This is exactly what I did. I'm ashamed to say how long it has taken me to figure this out. I would jump at the chance to go back and do it over for my older kids.

 

I also love what scrapbookbuzz said about not letting fear keep you from doing something.

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My biggest regret (and I, too, have made my share of mistakes) is not having started sooner. I think I could have saved both ds and myself a lot of pain and suffering if I hadn't been so scared to jump in and try. It was another case of "I don't feel qualified". Bleh.

 

Same here.

 

Also, I regret not buying the WTM when it first came up on an Amazon search for 'home education'. Here in the UK most homeschoolers describe themselves as 'autonomous', in other words 'unschoolers'. Just before I leapt into homeschooling I'd read a lot of literature from the main home education support groups here that gave the view that if you're going to do 'school at home', then you're missing the point of home education. So, for three months we battled with 'unschooling'. The WTM seemed a little scary, but I finally bought it, and felt immediate and immense relief. Never looked back, as they say.

 

Best wishes

 

Cassy

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My main regret is thinking I needed a curriculum to teach something, when I don't. I suppose that's something I may not have realized until I'd tried a few curricula, and luckily, my kids are both young.

 

I think my other regret is that I (still) don't take enough time for Field Days. Working on that.

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My biggest mistake was giving my 15 yr old the choice to go to high school. She is doing great, it's not her, it is all of the cr@p around her! She is enjoying her classes and the basketball team, but she has had to put up with someone stealing a paper and mean girls. The mouths on the kids are unreal! She is at a decent school, but I would still prefer her to be home. =(

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I have made lots of mistakes - but I think the biggest one that I could have avoided if I had listened to my gut and my child was

 

letting a curriculum vendor convince me that my very bright child could go ahead into Pre-Alg/Alg with his program. He could do the work - mechanically, but he just wasn't ready to go there. So we ended up spending more time and effort going back and picking up things he didn't really get. He is an extremely bright kid - but he thinks he is bad at math. :(

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I regret putting more importance on producing paper than actual enjoyment of content subjects. It's crazy. We don't have testing or have to show a portfolio here. My kids are really enjoying our British/Irish history unit without any colouring pages to do or cereal box castles to be made. Just good books and couch time.:D

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My biggest regrets:

 

Comparing my kids to anyone else on the planet, ever.

 

Spending any energy trying to convince disbelieving family members we aren't nuts.

 

Trying to convince other homeschoolers to take their schooling more seriously - even when they ask. Some will sink. Thats life. I can't want more for them than they want for themselves.

 

Overall I think we've got a pretty good balance going on . We school consistently, we travel, we play, we enjoy each other, and we are enjoying the ride. There is really very little I'd change. :-)

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In an effort to make homeschool fun and interesting, I kept changing methods and materials. We very rarely finished a program. I was very lucky that it didn't harm my children too much, but they definitely would have been better off if I had been more consistent.

 

That was me. I want the boys to want to learn and enjoy learning like I do. Too often I allowed myself to be distracted with their dissatisfaction and complaining. Yes, sometimes it hard. Sometimes it's not fun. Sometimes you have to put more into something than you want to. I wish I had been tougher and not think the great curriculum will make them love it all. I still have to work on that every day.

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This is very good. I don't know what my regrets are yet since this is only my second year and my oldest is only in first grade. However I have a feeling that I will regret making him do so much work in my quest for rigor. So next school year I will be changing things, more learning through books and less textbooks and less rigor for right now. Also finding ways to incorporate more games and fun into our day. I do feel that game playing has to be balanced with other methods of learning but games should be present. Hopefully I am making the right choice.

 

Oh yea I do a lot of comparing myself and my children to others. I need to stop that but I am not sure how. Any suggesstions.

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The biggest mistake I ever made with homeschooling ....

 

 

was starting? :lol:

 

 

 

one of those days already.

 

:D. I really was going to say that too...but I really don't mean it.

 

I think the biggest mistake I have made homeschooling, is thinking I could actually work and homeschool...and take care of aging parents...And new babies.....well...you know, SUPERWOMAN syndrome.

I can bring home the bacon...fry it up in a pan....never let him forget he's a man....lalalalalalalala!!!!

 

In dug the hole...it's up to me to fill it in....

 

Another big mistake I made....was always thinking I wasn't doing "enough". That is a defeatest attitude....and I used it to defeat myself and I got distracted from the real business of homeschooling and setting up a lifelong relationship with my kids.

 

Now, I am trying to get back on track. It is ok for me to rest sometimes, have fun, enjoy life, not just work, work, work and work some more...just to prove I am not a useless lump of flesh.

 

Faithe

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Not beginning many things early enough, like Latin, Greek, and Hebrew. I would have done these informally, learning with dc as we went. There were programs out there (Wheelock's, Athenaze, not sure about Hebrew). I just didn't know it was possible or even what the programs were.

 

Done a lot more logic, a lot earlier.

 

I also thought one book should be sufficient for any subject (my holdover ps thinking ... 1 book/subject/year). The reality for our family has been that it usually takes several books to flesh out a subject in things like math, logic, science, etc.

 

Taught them to 'play with the ideas' much, much sooner and more deliberately than I have. Little kids can absorb so much more (informally, mostly) than I realized.

 

 

I'd love to hear what you have used and liked. (What books did you use together?)

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Biggest homeschooling mistake with my daughter: switching to d'nealian midstream on the advice of an "expert."

Biggest homeschooling mistake with my oldest boys: not stressing more writing experiences.

 

These are the things my oldest kids also think were problematic. They weren't unsurmountable problems.

 

I've learned a lot in 19 years, the last two boys are getting more writing in, even thought they protest.

 

The biggest mistakes I've made with my kids were discipline oriented not homeschooling oriented.

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I regret that I didn't have oldest do some summer music camps. She went into her undergrad under prepared.

 

And I regret that we messed around with taking the AP Bio test at the school--the school changed her test paper and she ended up with a 1! We don't fool around with AP tests any more and just do college classes. Lesson learned!

 

 

What do you mean the highh school changed her AP grade?? B/c she is home educated? Anyone else have this happen?

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I regret freaking out about my twins not learning how to read. Twin #2 started reading at 8 years old and was above grade level by 9 years old. Twin #1 still struggles with reading but is due to his speech, language processing and dyslexia, all of which a bazillion hours of therapy have done nothing for. I spent so much time stressing myself and them out trying to teach them something they just weren't ready for! Dumb mom!

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Speaking of math, I count starting with MUS as one of my biggest homeschooling mistakes. Unfortunately for my oldest we got to the end of Delta before I looked for something else. Oh, how I wish his math path had gone differently! Secondly, I sometimes wish I had made him put pencil to paper more often... but I think he will recover from that with less trauma.

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