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Why do some people feel the need to always talk?


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#1 Mynyel

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:34 AM

My dh will monologue for *HOURS*. He will not stop. I am glad he likes to talk to me, but seriously it is the same subjects every.single.day. Then after he has exhausted those he moves on to things I really just don't care about... like other people :rolleyes: He is the biggest busy body ever. If I was to add up all the time I talked it would be maybe an hour, two at the most per day. Dh on the other had will talk 5 or 6 hours. I even have proof. You should see him in videos. He monologues all our videos too. He got up an hour ago.... he hasn't stopped since he left the bedroom. I am not bashing, I swear! Just a statement of fact that I just don't get. I don't get why one needs to talk so much!

:001_huh:

#2 desertmum

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:39 AM

I can't help you because I am like your dh. Our darling son inherited this as well. If it is any consolation, we know we talk a lot but we can't help it. Truly,we mean well...

#3 oldskool

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:43 AM

Could it just be thinking out loud? Maybe some people have the inability to keep their thoughts silent? Kind of like how some people have a hard time speaking at all. I guess I would take a talking dh over a non-communicative one. At least you know how he's feeling.

#4 susankenny

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:44 AM

My husband could probably say the same thing about me. Was your husband like this before getting married? Are you really surprised by his talking?

Susan

#5 MrsMe

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:46 AM

Ah....the gift of gab! I don't like to talk much. I could never blog. Heck, I couldn't even scrapbook. You "see" it, why do you need to continue to write a page about it? You need the gift of gab for that. I don't like to listen to people talk non-stop either and people who talk non-stop usually talk about nothing.

Really, what is there to say that we don't already know? (Loved that movie Pure Country when they're eating breakfast at the dinner table, LOL) And I mean in the area of small-talk. That's why I hate socializing. People say a bunch of junk that is either fact or crap, but mostly people schmooze.

I like to talk when necessary. Learning stuff, good conversations on useful information. DD had a friend overnight and she. never. was. quiet. :001_huh: Never.......:001_huh: I'm exceptionally quiet though.

#6 shalom22

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:47 AM

I can so relate. My dh can talk up a storm and it is usually on one subject. Presently that subject is motorcycles. :D

I am like you, I don't talk. Just nod and smile. ;)

#7 Mynyel

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:49 AM

My husband could probably say the same thing about me. Was your husband like this before getting married? Are you really surprised by his talking?

Susan


Honestly I have no idea. It has only been in the last couple years when we have both been working from home. Before we worked outside the home :) So it could have been, but I didn't notice it until now!:001_smile:

#8 susankenny

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:50 AM

Honestly I have no idea. It has only been in the last couple years when we have both been working from home. Before we worked outside the home :) So it could have been, but I didn't notice it until now!:001_smile:


Well, that's the problem, lol. You went from dealing with it in doses to a full-time job. My husband would die if he had to endure my mouth all day every day.


Susan

#9 Mynyel

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:51 AM

I can so relate. My dh can talk up a storm and it is usually on one subject. Presently that subject is motorcycles. :D

I am like you, I don't talk. Just nod and smile. ;)



:glare: I wish I could nod and smile. He expects response. He will preface with, did you see or did you hear, he will look at me when he talks. I feel bad if I "ignore" him :) Wouldn't be so bad if it was more like a talk show and didn't expect interaction! :D

BTW: Still going strong too! While I am typing! :lol:

#10 Mynyel

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:51 AM

Well, that's the problem, lol. You went from dealing with it in doses to a full-time job. My husband would die if he had to endure my mouth all day every day.


Susan


:lol:

#11 LizzyBee

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:53 AM

Introverts have to know what they think before they speak it... Extraverts don't know what they think until they speak it. Yes, we think out loud. All the time. My dh tunes me out because is used to hearing me talk to myself. But then sometimes, I'm actually talking to him and he has no idea. :glare: :lol:

#12 Mynyel

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:56 AM

Introverts have to know what they think before they speak it... Extraverts don't know what they think until they speak it. Yes, we think out loud. All the time. My dh tunes me out because is used to hearing me talk to myself. But then sometimes, I'm actually talking to him and he has no idea. :glare: :lol:



My dh is an Introvert... he hates talking to people, hates being around people, he goes *NOWHERE*. He only likes talking to me or the kids. He doesn't even like talking to his brother much because he says he can't get a word in. :glare: Both of them talk a lot. It doesn't make for good convo there! :D

#13 shalom22

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 11:56 AM

:glare: I wish I could nod and smile. He expects response. He will preface with, did you see or did you hear, he will look at me when he talks. I feel bad if I "ignore" him :) Wouldn't be so bad if it was more like a talk show and didn't expect interaction! :D

BTW: Still going strong too! While I am typing! :lol:


We have been married for 26 years. I learned early on to 'appear' to be listening. He has told me that I have perfected the 'blank' stare. Very seldom does he actally expect me to be able to interject in the conversation since usually he is jabbering about subjects which I don't know anything about. Like quantum physics, computer programming, motorcycles, just to name a few.

I lucked out today. He went out to ride his motorcycyle. :lol:

#14 thescrappyhomeschooler

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:05 PM

We have been married for 26 years. I learned early on to 'appear' to be listening. He has told me that I have perfected the 'blank' stare.


This is what dh does to me after only 10 years of marriage! When I get mad about him not remembering something I told him, he asks if I told him in the middle of all the other "white noise"! :lol:

#15 ThatCyndiGirl

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:08 PM

I can't help you because I am like your dh. Our darling son inherited this as well. If it is any consolation, we know we talk a lot but we can't help it. Truly,we mean well...


I am like this as well.

DH came back Thursday night from a deployment. :party::hurray::drool:

Ahem,....sorry, I got a little distracted there.

Anyway, he came back and I think I have been talking non-stop ever since. So much has happened since he has been gone-6 earthquakes, sold old dining room table, bought new dining room table, built banquette, learned to use sewing machine, traded for a new (old, 1941 Singer) sewing machine, we got a new highway (I didn't build or sew that one), son got a new tooth, kids learned stuff, SIL is pregnant (I had nothing to do with that one, either), and I cooked a lot of bacon.

So much to talk about!! I realized while he was gone that he absorbed a LOT of my talking! :lol:

While he was gone I found myself talking to cashiers, other moms at the library, strangers everywhere. I would see that 'foot in trap, trying to get away' look in their eyes and would be simply unable to stop the words. I was so excited to see another adult! I felt like big slobbery dog, "OOOOH, lookie here! Someone to talk to!!!" :hurray:

#16 shalom22

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:10 PM

This is what dh does to me after only 10 years of marriage! When I get mad about him not remembering something I told him, he asks if I told him in the middle of all the other "white noise"! :lol:



HEHEHE!! I hated it when he would ask a question and I couldn't even remember what he was talking about. :confused: I was in my own little world thinking about who knows what.

#17 Mynyel

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:13 PM

HEHEHE!! I hated it when he would ask a question and I couldn't even remember what he was talking about. :confused: I was in my own little world thinking about who knows what.


Yes! He gets mad... "You don't remember what I said?" or "Didn't you listen?" Umm no I don't remember because I didn't take notes :tongue_smilie: and I listen but I didn't hear or retain!

#18 Faith

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:15 PM

My dh will monologue for *HOURS*. He will not stop. I am glad he likes to talk to me, but seriously it is the same subjects every.single.day. Then after he has exhausted those he moves on to things I really just don't care about... like other people :rolleyes: He is the biggest busy body ever. If I was to add up all the time I talked it would be maybe an hour, two at the most per day. Dh on the other had will talk 5 or 6 hours. I even have proof. You should see him in videos. He monologues all our videos too. He got up an hour ago.... he hasn't stopped since he left the bedroom. I am not bashing, I swear! Just a statement of fact that I just don't get. I don't get why one needs to talk so much!

:001_huh:


My husband is EXACTLY like yours! It's tiring day in and day out. While I also appreciate that he does talk to me, it would be nice if he just thought for awhile. I have told him that I have no idea how he thinks of things to talk about since he never stops talking long enough to think. :) He just has the gift of chatter. I am more quiet, I am a thinker. I have one son that is also a chatterbox and one that is a thinker, like me. I have no answers. After 21 years, I have learned to look like I'm listening. :lol:

#19 ThatCyndiGirl

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:15 PM

Ah....the gift of gab! I don't like to talk much. I could never blog. Heck, I couldn't even scrapbook. You "see" it, why do you need to continue to write a page about it? You need the gift of gab for that. And I mean in the area of small-talk. That's why I hate socializing. People say a bunch of junk that is either fact or crap, but mostly people schmooze.


LOL. I started a blog last week (while dh was still deployed, of course!) about the snacks I sneak into my purse and take into the movies. I started it, though, because people asked about it and my friends talk about how I like to pair the appropriate foods with certain movies. (Chocolate pie with 'the Help', for example....)

http://moviesnackshi...-food-into.html

And the whole small talk thing? HATE IT!!! I met dh at the airport in, ahem.....how shall I say this? an outfit that would be inappropriate in other venues...how's that? miniskirt, stockings, high heeled black boots and a super sleezy top that was covered up by a nice purple wool peacoat. Anyway, we stood around talking to people while waiting for his bags and I thought, "let's get OUTTA HERE!"

I particularly hate small talk when I've got an agenda! ;)

#20 Faith

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:18 PM

Introverts have to know what they think before they speak it... Extraverts don't know what they think until they speak it. Yes, we think out loud. All the time. My dh tunes me out because is used to hearing me talk to myself. But then sometimes, I'm actually talking to him and he has no idea. :glare: :lol:


This is a great way to explain it!! :)

#21 Denise in Florida

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:26 PM

My dh is an Introvert... he hates talking to people, hates being around people, he goes *NOWHERE*. He only likes talking to me or the kids. He doesn't even like talking to his brother much because he says he can't get a word in. :glare: Both of them talk a lot. It doesn't make for good convo there! :D


I am an introvert also and I love to talk to my dh. I don't know if this helps but for me it is a form of connection/intimacy.

I don't connect with huge groups of people so the ones I do connect with I like to keep an 'open' channel of thoughts. Does that explanation help? make sense in your view of your dh?

#22 gardenmom5

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:38 PM

My mil and sil talk. a lot. mil is FINALLY slowing down (she's 86), but get her in a room where sil isn't, and she can be extremely verbose about nothing in particular. I think she talks so she doesn't have to be alone with her own thoughts.

sil loves to talk so she can be the center of attention. (I have actually seen her get surly if someone else is talking.)

eta: last time mil was here, droning on and on and on and . . . ., I wore earplugs. dh about fell down laughing. He did ask me to wear my hair down to cover my ears.

Edited by gardenmom5, 07 January 2012 - 12:47 PM.


#23 justamouse

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:39 PM

Wow, I wonder what that would be like? Both Dh and I don't talk a lot.

My MIL talks like that. A desire for communication?

#24 Lovedtodeath

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:40 PM

Well, DD and I are that way and we have ADD.:001_huh:

#25 3peasinWa

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 12:41 PM

I have a family member who thinks something is wrong if there is silence.
It's tiring. I like my silence.

#26 MrsMe

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 01:44 PM

I have a family member who thinks something is wrong if there is silence.
It's tiring. I like my silence.


Oh my gosh, I could never live there. Silence is golden.

When dh & I first got married, he talked the minute he sat up in bed.:001_huh: After a year of ignoring that, moaning, and nodding I finally just said, "Will you shut up....... " Not nice I know, so it's a good thing he laughed.

#27 runmiarun

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 02:41 PM

I have a family member who thinks something is wrong if there is silence.
It's tiring. I like my silence.


My MIL thinks something is wrong if there is silence, as well. DH didn't believe me when I would come back from taking the kids to visit his parents and tell him I just wanted some quiet, no talking. Then he had to spend a week with them (first time since he left home in 1988) by himself when he took a new job in their town. He and his mom made the 5 hour drive back to our house at the end of that week. As soon as she left the next day, he looked at me and apologized for not believing me all those years about his parents' talking. Evidently his mom talked to him the entire 5 hour trip and every night while he was with them without ever letting him get a word in.

Now if I could only get him to stop talking from the minute he walks in the door after work until he leaves the morning.......:D

#28 MrsMe

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 02:59 PM

This is just a funny thread.

If all of us introverts were together, it would be "vewy, vewy" quiet. :D Ahhhhhhh.

#29 greenvneck

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Posted 07 January 2012 - 07:21 PM

I am mostly an introvert, but I can't stop myself from talking. I also have ADHD, which is most likely the cause. If I can't talk it feels like if I don't say what I really *need* to say it will bounce around in my head and make me anxious and stressed and if I could just *say it* those feelings would go away. I take Adderall, which definitely helps, but yesterday I forgot to take it and after chatting non-stop with the doctor for 20 minutes about random stuff, my daughter took pity on her and said, "I'm going to apologize for my mom, she forgot to take her Adderall this morning, which means she has no filter between her brain and her mouth." I felt manic, jumping from thought to thought without any break between them, so that I couldn't even finish my sentences.

I guess it's a good thing I usually remember to take Adderall in the morning! :lol:

FWIW, my dh feels just like the OP, his eyes glaze over and I *know* he's not listening, but I just can't stop talking! I don't like feeling like that, but I dislike even more the feeling that I will explode if I don't say everything in my head.


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