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Please Post WWS assignments here!


Capt_Uhura
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Please post your DC's WWS assignments here. Please post your DC's age, the week and day of the assignment. Since we are the first ones using this fabulous program, it might be helpful to get a range of assignments....not only the advanced ones but the average ones and the struggling writers as well. We each take our kids where they are and move them forward. If you look are for specific comment or critique of your DC's assignment, please post that in an individual thread.

 

From Colleen:

I would love to see not only just samples of kids' writing from WWS, but also the unedited and edited versions of each assignment. And to hear *how* you got your child to the edited version. Did you use the WWS rubric? Did you have a rubric of your own, and if so, what did it consist of? Did you tweak/supplement the assignment somehow? Did you have your child edit with current grammar/mechanics/spelling knowledge in mind? Or did you let some of that stuff go for a particular reason?

 

I think this info. would be helpful as we read each other's samples.

Edited by Capt_Uhura
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DS 8 - Week 6, Day 4 - The Titanic

 

On April 14, 1912 the new ship Titanic was launched. Peopled cheered because it was a great ship. One night when the Titanic was on its first voyage, an iceberg was spotted ahead. Quickly the captain turned the ship, but it was to late. The iceberg hit the side of the ship and made a hole there. On the deck people were playing and chatting; not being aware that the ship was filling with water. Quickly the officers boarded the passengers on lifeboats. At first there were not many people on the boats, but when the deck started to tip, more and more people got on them. They did not have enough life boats, so an officer sent SOS signals. A ship called Carpathia responded, but it was four hours away; they only had a few hours until the Titanic would sink. They did what they could, but no one could stop the ship from sinking. Carpathia arrived at 4:10 am, picked up surviving passengers, and brought them to New York.

 

 

DD10 - Week 6, Day 4 - The Titanic

 

There was once a great ship called the Titanic. Nobody thought that it could sink. One day, on its first voyage, it was in the Arctic Ocean and had collided with an iceberg. The passengers on board thought that it was a big joke, as they played with ice cubes, and built little towers. They laughed and played because they thought that the Titanic was unsinkable.

 

As soon as it began to take on water, sailors rushed around telling people that it was fine. A shipbuilder, Thomas Andrews, announced that it would sink in 1 1/2 hours. Captain Smith’s face was ashen as he said, “Give the command for all passengers on deck with their life belts on!” But the life boats could carry only half the passengers. A white distress rocket was launched, and the closest ship, the Carpathia, responded but was four hours away. The passengers were reluctant to leave, but didn’t want to die either. Up until now the lifeboats had only held 3 or 4 people when they could have held 20, because people didn’t want to go sit on a freezing cold life boat in the middle of the ocean. The last lifeboats were over loaded.

 

Meanwhile, the propellers of the Titanic rose above the water, and finally it broke in half and sank. Carpathia picked up as many passengers as it could, and set course for New York. The survivors reached New York on April, 18th. The Titanic had started with 2,200 passengers, and only 706 lived.

 

 

Here were links we watched before we wrote the stories -

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD9-z6Nw2FM

 

http://www.titanicuniverse.com/category/titanic-stories

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DS11 (6th grade) Week 8 Day 4. I had him list adjectives and verbs that came to mind when he looked at the castle. I then had him use the Roget's International Thesaurus to find synonyms.

 

 

Reaching up high into the deep blue sky, Neuschwanstein Castle towers over the surrounding landscape. Artistic and grand, the magnificent castle rests high on a mountain surrounded by trees. This monumental castle is great, immense, and substantial. A scenic view surrounds the castle; it’s white stone walls are in contrast with the green fields beyond. With it’s spacious rooms, this castle is fit for a king.

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DD10 - Week 7, Day 4 - Johannes Kepler Story

 

Johannes Kepler studied science at a university in the 1590s. He believed that all planets revolved around the sun. This view was called heliocentrism. Most astronomers in his time believed that the sun revolved around the Earth, and every orbit was a perfect circle. This view was called geocentrism.

 

Later Johannes worked as an assistant to an astronomer named Tyco Brahe. The two of them believed that planets orbited only in a circle. They could not figure out why Mars appeared to orbit fast sometimes and slow at other times. When Tyco died, he gave his work to Johannes to continue.

 

Johannes kept trying to figure out Mars’s orbit for five years. Mars continued to hide its secret journey from Johannes though. He said, “I was almost driven to madness considering and calculating this matter. I could not find out why the planet would rather go in an elliptical orbit.”

 

He eventually figured out that Mars moves in an elliptical orbit. Soon after he came up with Kepler’s first law of planetary motion which stated that planets moved in elliptical orbits around the sun.

 

 

 

DS8 - Week 7, Day 4 - Johannes Kepler Story

 

Johannes Kepler was a scientist. He believed in heliocentrism, the idea that the planets went around the sun. Copernicus had proved that heliocentrism was true to a few people, and Kepler wanted to prove it to the rest of them.

 

Kepler helped Tycho Brahe observe orbits for the planets. They assumed that all of the orbits were circular. They could not explain why the planet Mars moved as it did. Tycho died shortly after that question, but said for Kepler to keep on trying. Kepler tried to find an explanation for the movement of Mars, but failed a bunch of times. He looked at the stars and the night sky constantly. Mars was keeping its secret from him. Kepler said at the time, “I struggled with Mars’s orbit for five years, and I was almost over run with madness.” Not long after, he realized that Mars orbit must be elliptical. Finally he succeeded in proving that the planets moved in an elliptical pattern and not a circular one around the sun.

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DS11/6th grade WWS Week 8 day 3

 

The room was spacious and welcoming and the ceiling was grand. The windows were extensive and tall with smiling arches at the top. The floor was made of polished oak boards. The sun was calmly setting outside and the light that trickled through the windows was as red as a ruby and as golden as a lion's mane. It did not reach into the cozy corners of the room. Colorful drapes cascaded from the windows and there was a lot of vibrant furniture in the room.

 

 

The room was vast and the ceiling loomed over everything. The windows were watching over the room. The floor was made out of creaking oak boards. The sun was setting gloomily and the light was blood red and struggled to reach the corners of the room. Shadowy curtains hung at the windows and dark filled the room.

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Dd10 - Week 12, Day 1 - The Hound of the Baskervilles Summary

 

According to Dr. Mortimer, Sir Charles thought that his family was haunted by a giant hound, which he believed he had seen. Dr. Mortimer told him to go to London for a while to get away, but he died on the moor one night before he could go. There was no injury to his body, but the footprints of a giant hound were found all around. After Dr. Mortimer finished his story, Holmes asked Dr. Mortimer questions which he answered.

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DD10 - Week 11 Day 4 - Ivan the Terrible Story

 

 

Ivan was born on August 25th, 1530. His father, who was Grand Prince of Moscow, died when Ivan was only three years old. His mother ruled for him, but was poisoned when he was just eight years old.

 

He was crowned emperor when he was 17 in 1547, but wanted to be called Tsar instead. He enlarged his kingdom through conquest, and to celebrate his power he built a church called St. Basil's Cathedral.

 

St. Basil's Cathedral has many ice cream cone shaped domes that are clustered together like flowers in a pot. The beautiful domes are many colors, and the cathedral is magnificent in every way. It is truly a fairy tale of rooftops.

 

While it was being built, Ivan became known as Ivan the Terrible. And terrible he was, as he put many people to death. He used to say, "We are free to show favor to our servants, and free to put them to death."

 

He killed his son out of meanness because they were fighting over what clothes his son's wife was wearing. Ivan struck his son with an iron tipped staff, and three years later, in 1584, Ivan himself died.

 

 

DS8 -

 

Ivan was born on August 26, 1530. His father was Grand Prince of Moscow. When Ivan’s father died, he took the place of the Grand Prince at age 3. He was to young to rule, so his mother helped him rule. Other people tried to take the throne away from him. Eventually they poisoned his mother, and she died as well.

 

Soon Ivan was crowned Emperor of Russia. When Ivan was ruling, he renamed himself Tsar. He was a horrible madman. The Tsar believed that God called for him to rule. A medieval history, called the Nikon Chronicle, says, “From that time on the princes began to regard him with fear.”

 

Later Tsar ordered for a cathedral to be built. The cathedral was beautiful. He called it St. Basil’s Cathedral. It was a huge church. Each rooftop of the cathedral sat near the other. If you were on top of the cathedral it would be a long way down. It was a home for giants.

 

 

Here are the links we watched before we wrote the Ivan story.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4Oz-yz9axI&feature=related

http://famouswonders.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/st-basils-cathedral.jpg

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DS(11) 6th grade. These assignments have not be edited.

Week 6. Day4

 

On the 14th of April, 1912, the Titanic spotted an iceburg. Because the Titanic, the biggest ship of its day, was believed unsinkable, the crew were not worried when an iceburg warning was received but kept the ship at full speed. Thus, when it hit an icebug, no one thought the ship would sink. Some passengers even played with chunks of ice that had fallen off the iceburg. However, the captain soon realized the ship was sinking. "Put on your life jackets!" he ordered. Many distress signals were sent, but the closest ship that received them was four hours away. Most passengers were reluctant to leave the ship, "this ship cannot sink; it is only a question of waiting until another ship comes and takes us off," they said. Presently when the deck had noticeably tilted, more passengers left the boat. Afterwards, shocked survivors watched the stern of the Titanic dip below the water.

 

Week 7. Day 4

 

When Johannes Kepler studied at university he learned about Copernicus's new theory of heliocentricism which hypothesized that the sun is at the center of the solar system. However, most people still believed the earth was at the center of the solar system not the sun. After he finished university, Keplar became the assistant of the famous astronomer Tycho Brahe. During this time, his job was to track the orbit of Mars. They both believe that all orbits were circular. Thus, when they noticed that Mars was speeding up and slowing down, they were unable to understand why. Unexpectedly Tycho Brahe died. Keplar continued trying to find an explanation for the movements of Mars. He struggled with this problem for five years. He once wrote, "I was almost driven to madness considering and calculating this matter. I could not find out why the planet would rather go on an elliptical orbit." In 1605, Keplar solved the problem and formed his first law of planetary motion. "The planetary orbit is elliptical and the sun, the source of movement is at one of the foci of this ellipse." He published this work in 1609, but it was not accepted immediately.

 

Week 8 Day 3

 

The room was spacious and welcoming, and the decorated ceiling was high and vaulted. The gleaming windows were long and high with beautiful arches at the top. The floor was made of shiny oak boards. The sun was setting outside, and the light that flooded through the windows was red and gold, but it did not reach all the way into the comfortable corners of room. The colourful curtains hung at the windows, and comfortable chairs filled the room.

 

The room was echoing, and the oppressive ceiling was high and vaulted. The gloomy windows were long and high with crumbling arches at the top. The floor was made with worm eaten oak boards. The sun was setting outside, and the light that struggled through the windows was crimson and yellow but it did not reach all the way into the cobweb corners of the room. Tattered curtains hung at the windows, and collapsing chairs were scattered throughout the room.

 

Week 8 Day 4

 

On a hill there was a castle. Although it was called a castle, it was more of a palace for it was covered with superfluous windows and sculptures and looked as if it could withstand a siege as much as a log cabin could. It had a couple of turrets that soared into the sky, and it had a drawbridge that connected the guard tower to the gate house. The view from the top of the guard tower was tremendous, overlooking the surrounding countryside as well as the nearby wooded hill.

 

 

Edited by lewelma
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Great idea for a thread, Capt_Uhura!

 

Ds13, Week 6, Day 4 (unedited)

 

The iceberg was sighted straight ahead of the Titanic. William Murdoch then ordered the ship turned left, but the ship collided with the iceberg less than a minute after it was sighted. The sharp edge of the iceberg cut the right side of the ship right open. The Titanic began to flood. Five seperate compartments filled with water, and next a sixth began as well. The pumps on the ship could remove water at 2,000 tons per hour, but the Titanic was filling up at twelve times that speed. At 12:50 AM, a white distress rocket was launched, and the Titanic crew signalled, "Sinking by the head." The Carpathia responded to the distress signals, but she was four hours away. The crew began launching the first lifeboats at 1:10 AM. These lifeboats were only 1/4 full; the passengers said, "This ship cannot sink; it is only a question of waiting until another ship comes up and takes us off." Later, lifeboats were overloaded. The propellers rose above the water at 2:05 AM. The ship split in half and the stern rose back up in the water. Finally, at 2:20, the stern disappeared beneath the waves.

 

 

(edited, using WWS teaching instructions [have student read instructions aloud if he is confused, make sure student is reading sentences aloud for sensibleness before writing them, etc.], rubric, diagraming, and ds's current grammar/mechanics/spelling knowledge)

 

The iceberg was sighted straight ahead of the Titanic. William Murdoch, the first officer of the Titanic, then ordered the ship turned left; but the ship collided with the iceberg less than a minute after it was sighted. The sharp edge of the iceberg cut the right side of the ship right open. The Titanic began to flood. Five separate compartments filled with water, and next a sixth began filling as well. The pumps on the ship could remove water at a speed of two thousand tons per hour, but the Titanic was filling up at twelve times that speed.

 

The crew began launching the first lifeboats at 1:10 AM. These lifeboats were only 1/4 full; the passengers said, "This ship cannot sink; it is only a question of waiting until another ship comes up and takes us off." Later, lifeboats were overloaded.

 

The propellers of the Titanic rose above the water at 2:05 AM. The ship split in half, and the stern rose back up in the water. Finally, at 2:20 AM, the stern disappeared beneath the waves.

Edited by Colleen in NS
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Dd (newly) 11, Week 6, Day 4 (unedited)

 

Their was an Iceberg seen right ahead of the Titanic The first officer was told, and he ordered that the ship was to be turned away, but the Iceberg still cut into the side of the ship.

 

Captain Smith discovered that the ship was going down. The lifeboats were ready to be filled soon after midnight, and woman and children started getting in around 12:25 AM.

 

The first lifeboats were launched starting at 1:10 AM, but the personele were reluctant to leave the ship so the first lifeboats were only 1/4 full. When the deck started to tilt, the lifeboats started to overflow. The last lifeboat was sent out at 2:05. Captian Smith went down with his ship, but he told his officers that they had done their duty.

 

Beatween 2:05 and 2:20 the ship went down with more than half abord. Captain Smith among.

 

 

 

(edited, using WWS teaching instructions [have student read instructions aloud if he is confused, make sure student is reading sentences aloud for sensibleness before writing them, etc.], rubric, diagraming, and dd's current grammar/mechanics/spelling knowledge)

There was an iceberg seen right ahead of the Titanic. The first officer was told, and he ordered that the ship was to be turned away; but the iceberg still cut into the side of the ship.

 

Captain Smith discovered that the ship was going down. The lifeboats were ready to be filled soon after midnight, and women and children started getting into the boats around 12:25 AM.

 

The first lifeboats were launched starting at 1:10 AM, but the personnel were reluctant to leave the ship; so the first lifeboats were only 1/4 full. When the deck started to tilt, the lifeboats started to overflow with people who wanted to get off the ship. The last lifeboat was sent out at 2:05 AM. Captain Smith went down with his ship, but he told his officers, "You have done your duty, boys. Now every man for himself."

 

Between 2:05 AM and 2:20 AM the ship started breaking apart, and it soon went down with more than half the people aboard. Captain Smith was among them.

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In light of Roxanne's post:

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3337600&postcount=3

 

I would love to see not only just samples of kids' writing from WWS, but also the unedited and edited versions of each assignment. And to hear *how* you got your child to the edited version. Did you use the WWS rubric? Did you have a rubric of your own, and if so, what did it consist of? Did you tweak/supplement the assignment somehow? Did you have your child edit with current grammar/mechanics/spelling knowledge in mind? Or did you let some of that stuff go for a particular reason?

 

I think this info. would be helpful as we read each other's samples.

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Week 9. Day 4. DS(11) 6th grade

 

After going outside and looking at the hut and walking around it, DS took 30 minutes to plan these paragraphs before writing.

 

 

Impersonal:

 

On one side of the clearing overhung with trees there stood a hut, which was built with sticks and bark and covered with grass and ferns. Two small meandering trails connected the two larger paths which were on either side of the secret clearing. In the middle of the clearing was a huge eucalyptus tree that towered among the other trees and provided most of the materials used to build the hut. (I suggested the first 2 sentences be combined with a "which")

 

 

One side:

 

I was able to see in the midst of a clearing an incredibly camouflaged hut which almost blended in with its surroundings. It was covered with fresh grass making it easier to see. An internal space of unknown size was slightly visible through a tiny opening in the hut. As I looked more closely, I was able to see a small worn trail that led toward the clearing. On one side a huge eucalyptus tree stood, towering above the others. (He added *fresh" grass and *internal* space when I suggested he describe it in more detail.)

 

 

Walking around:

 

As I approached a steep bank, I saw a worn trail meandering beside some flax bushes. I followed it. I was able to see a large hut in the middle of a clearing with a eucalyptus on one side. From behind the hut, I saw some bent and twisted trees acting as support. The whole structure was built out of sticks interlaced with bark and covered with grass. As I looked around, I saw a small parting in the bushes which led to a steep bike trail.

 

My suggestions (I was typing it as we talked so I have no rough draft)

 

1. Original: "From behind the hut, I saw that the support of the hut was trees." (or something like this but with more little words.) I recommended that he turn the sentence around think about the subject in a different way. He came up with: "From behind the hut, I saw some bent and twisted trees acting as support."

 

2. I suggested he add in more description for sticks and trees and branches. He told me that he did not know what kind of trees and sticks they were . So, I silently used my hands to visually show how they looked to me. He came up with *bent and twisted* trees, and sticks *interlaced with bark*. He also added *steep bike* trail for more description

 

3."The whole structure was built out of sticks interlaced with bark and covered with grass." This sentence initially started with "I" again, and I suggested that he get to the point, and not refer back to himself again.

 

4. Original: "As I approached a steep bank, I saw a worn trail meandering beside some flax bushes and I decided to followed the trail." I suggested he break apart this sentence because he had 2 very long sentences in a row, and told him how to do it.

 

I helped with more than this, but I can't remember what. He had much more trouble with the third description.

 

Ruth

Edited by lewelma
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Yes, my oldest used IEW for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade. Then we used MCT Paragraph Town for 5th grade but that was a bust because the instruction was not specific enough. For IEW I was never strict with the stylistic components. I introduced them and he used them but I did not require them in every paragraph. We also did not get up to the most advanced model - critique/persuasive essay. He also hated story writing, so we did not do the writing from pictures. WWS's narrative unit has been the instruction he needed years ago for the story writing side of composition.

 

Ruth

Edited by lewelma
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DD 10 -

Wk 14, Day 4

Mars - Mixing both a removed and a present point of view, include a simile.

 

 

 

Mars is the fourth planet from the sun. It is about half the size of Earth and is a desolate, dry desert. Mars has two moons called Phobos and Deimos. Deimos rises in the east and sets in the west, while Phobos rises in the west and sets in the east. Mars has a north and south pole which stay icy year round.

 

If you went to Mars you probably would not like it, because dust storms cover the whole planet. The dust would pummel you from all sides, and you would feel buried in it. Temperatures, in the winter, can get to be about -230 degrees farenheight. Your body would feel like an ice cube the moment you stepped out in it. You also wouldn't be able to breathe because the air is 95% carbon dioxide and there are only traces of oxygen.

 

Mars has many volcanos. The biggest is Olympus Mons which is about three times the size of Mount Everest. There are also many canyons. One of these deep canyons networks is called Valles Marineris. With these huge volcanos and prodiguous canyons you would feel like a tiny ant.

 

 

 

 

** This is her rough draft. While writing it, I asked her to tell me what the dust would feel like. I also had her change the last sentence, as she wanted to end it by saying 'You wouldn't want to live on Mars' and I thought it should tie in with the volcanos and canyons. It's not perfect, as we could have had an introduction and conclusion, but I wanted to concentrate on these specific skills only and not have her get bogged down with all the other steps that might have gone into it.

Edited by SaDonna
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WWS 5-3 A Chronological Narrative of a Past Event

 

 

In the eighteenth century smallpox was quite dangerous. If someone got smallpox there was a 50% chance that he would die. There wasn’t any real way to

avoid smallpox. Some doctors gave their patients light cases of smallpox but every once and awhile a someone would die from one.

 

In 1749 Edward Jenner was born. As a child, Jenner was inoculated. In 1762 Jenner decided to become a doctor. When Jenner finished his training, he became a doctor in 1773.

 

Jenner noticed that milkmaids didn’t get smallpox, and he also knew that milkmaids often got cowpox; some people thought people who got cowpox were immune to smallpox. Jenner researched the similarities between smallpox and cowpox. On May 14, 1796 Jenner inoculated 8 year old James Phipps with pus from a cowpox blister. After that, James got a light fever. When James recovered Jenner inoculated James with smallpox and he was immune to it. 23 other people were tested with the vaccine. But oddly enough, Jenner didn’t know why his vaccine worked. When Jenner published his findings, other doctors weren’t sure about the vaccine but it was slowly accepted. In 1804, 12,000 people were vaccinated and deaths from smallpox slowed to 600 people per year.

 

Description of a Place from Three Points of View 

 

It was a brisk fall day and the sky was a clear bright blue. A beautiful mix of red and yellow leaves covered the trees. The leaves were slowly floating to the ground. The leaves on the ground were piling up just waiting to be raked into a heap and jumped into.

 

It was a brisk fall day and as I stood by the door of my house, I looked around. The trees in front of me were covered in beautiful red and yellow leaves. The leaves above me were slowly floating to the ground below my feet. The leaves were piling up in the yard, just waiting to be raked into a pile and jumped into.

 

I walked out of the door of my house, and through the yard. I looked up, and I saw that the sky above me was a clear bright blue. As I continued my little walk, the wind stirred the beautiful red and yellow leaves above me. The leaves rustled beneath my feet, and seemed to be waiting for me to rake them into a pile and jump into them.

 

 

Edited by ELaurie
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WWS 6-4 The Sinking of the Titanic

At 11:40 PM the Titanic collided with an iceberg and the iceberg cut open the starboard side of the ship. After that the ship began to flood, but the officers told the passengers there was no danger. "Oh, no, nothing at all. Just a mere nothing. We just hit an iceberg," said one officer. Five of the separate compartments filled with water and the sixth began to fill. All together the pumps could remove 2,000 tons of water, but for every 2,000 tons the pumps were removing 24,000 tons of water were coming in to the ship. Finally the captain realized the ship was sinking; the shipbuilder told him the ship would sink in 1 1/2 hours.

Unfortunately the life boats could only carry half of the people onboard. The life boats began to be launched at 1:10 AM; some of the first lifeboats were only 1/4 full. Between 2:05 and 2:20 AM the Titanic sank. Out of 2,222 people who were onboard only 711 people survived.

 

WWS-9-1

Jane was constructing a miniature park for poor people. In the park there were little footpaths as wide as your fingernail, beautiful flower beds and dainty little twig benches. On one of these twig benches sat a plasticine man reading a newspaper. There was also a picnic table with all kinds of food on it. Michael was wishing the food was real so he could eat some of it when the man said he could eat whatever he wanted. When Michael tried some of it he found out that the food was real!

WWS 10 -1 Narration - A Christmas Carol

 

It was a bitter cold Christmas Eve, and as Scrooge was opening his door, he saw that the door knocker had turned into Jacob Marley’s face. The face was deathly pale, with absolutely no expression on it and luminescent like a decaying lobster in a basement. After this disturbing experience, Scrooge checked his entire house to be sure everything was in its rightful place. He went to his bedroom and double locked his door. While he was warming his hands by the small fire, all the bells in his house began to ring by themselves, and after that he heard a clanking coming from the wine cellar, moving up the stairs, and towards his bedroom.

 

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Tom Sawyer WWS 11-1

Tom Sawyer was miserable because he had to go to school and he wished he were sick. So Tom decided he would pretend his toe was very sore and he began to groan very loudly. He woke up Sid and Sid thought Tom was going to die so he ran off to get Aunt Polly. At first Aunt Polly was worried but then she realized that Tom’s toe was fine. But Aunt Polly did pull out his tooth and he did have to go to school but he was the envy of every one there.

 

 

 

WWS 11-4 Ivan the Terrible

 

In 1547 Ivan IV was crowned Tsar of Russia. In 1552 he ordered the construction of St. Basil’s Cathedral to display his power. In the distance, the bright multicolored cathedral, seems to dwarf every thing around it. The seven striped spires reach up toward the sky like spaceships lifting off.

In 1561 Ivan began what is known as his "reign of terror." At this point Ivan began to suffer from a mental breakdown, in other words he was losing his marbles. He established a secret police to hunt down his political adversaries. They were called oprichnina; they wore black cloaks and carried brooms to represent sweeping clean or cleaning out. He had all his political adversaries murdered. He even attacked one of his own cities, Novgorod, and massacred the people living there. Then in 1581, he killed his own 27 year old son Ivan after they had a disagreement. Ivan IV didn’t like the clothes his son’s wife was wearing and he killed his own son with an iron tipped cane. Then in 1584 Ivan the IV or as he is more comely known today "Ivan the Terrible," died. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

WWS 12-1 The Hound of the Baskerville’s

 

James Mortimer told Sherlock Holmes and Dr. James Watson that Sir Charles worried that the Hound of the Baskerville’s would kill him; in fact, he was obsessed with this fear. Sir Charles was found dead, with no wounds or marks that indicated the cause of his death. All around his body were tracks of a massive hound. As Mortimer described what happened, Holmes questioned him, and he provided information about Sir Charles’ death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by ELaurie
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My son is 12.5 and technically in 7th grade, but the writing instruction before now was pretty hit or miss.

We're actually officially on winter break, have been for about 2.5 weeks. His first attempt didn't go so well, so I told him we'd go back over the directions and try again when we started school back up Jan 2nd. He insisted that he wanted to keep working on it and tried it again. Now it took him a few weeks as mentioned above, but this is what he came up with. I know he wrote is as more of a rewrite of the story, instead of "report" about what happened, but I was really proud of him for all the hard work he put into it.

Please let me know what you think.

 

Dullhead went out to cut wood, but when he got to the forest he was greeted by a little gray man who asked Dullhead for some food. Dullhead gave him half of his food, the man thanked Dullhead and told him about a golden goose. After Dullhead found teh goose he stayed at an inn where people stuck fast to the feathers of the goose. Dullhead went to a castle after he heard that if he made the Princess laugh he could take her as his bride. When Dullhead went into the castle with the people stuck to the goose, the princess began to laugh. Dullhead claimed her as his bride, but the king refused. Dullhead found the little gray man to help with the tasks of the king. The man ate a mountain of bread and drank a cellar full of wine. Dullhead asked for him and the princess to be married, but the king denied Dullhead's request, and said he had to find a ship that could sail on land and water. Dullhead sought out the little gray man and because Dullhead had helped him, the little man gave Dullhead a ship that could sail on land and sea. Dullhead gave the ship to the king and the king gave his daughter's hand in marriage. THE END

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ds(11) did some research on Ivan, and decided to take the opposing view of the historical figure.

 

 

This essay has been edited. Although all the words are my ds's, I typed it as he composed, and as I typed, I asked questions like How? and Why? which directed his thinking. I reminded him for every paragraph to consider what the topic was and to make sure he had a topic sentence up front. He was working off of an outline.

 

 

Ruth

Ivan the Terrible

 

 

Ivan was born to a corrupt Russia. Ever since his parents' death, self-serving officials often fought each other for power over Russia. However, Ivan would have to wait until he was 16 and crowned Grand Prince before he could attempt to change this corrupt society.

 

 

The first thing that Ivan did as Grand Prince was to destroy the ruling elite. He suppressed the aristocracy by creating a combination of centrally appointed and locally elected officials. Following which, he appointed himself Tsar, meaning Caesar.

 

 

Ivan decided to expand his country. He wanted to impress the rest of Europe, which was expanding their borders in the New World. He created a paid army and with it defeated the Khanates, Kazans, and the Astrakhans. To celebrate his success, he built a magnificent cathedral, called St Basils.

 

 

Built from 1555 to 1679, St Basils Cathedral was one of the most interesting cathedrals in the world. In contrast to other cathedrals of the era, St Basils was brightly colored and had many spires shaped like onions. Exotic and unusual, the colors of this cathedral outlined the intricate shapes and designs.

 

 

As a result of the expansion, Ivan gained a port and was thus able to make a trading bond with England, allowing Russia to import goods from Europe. However, the wars also led to an over taxation of the peasants. As they got poorer and poorer, they gave him the title of Ivan the Terrible.

 

 

Although Ivan achieved many political and economic improvements, he also did many terrible deeds. Because Europe was concerned that Russia was becoming large and powerful, some European countries began to attack Russia. In addition to a massive famine and drought, these difficulties led to Ivan the Terrible's slide into insanity. He killed numerous people believed to be traitors. Shockingly, in a fit of rage, he even killed his son. Unfortunately, Ivan the Terrible's wrong doings have overshadowed his accomplishments, and although he left Russia a better place, he is always thought of as a villain.

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Week 12. Day 4 Unedited

 

The Most Destructive Force on Earth

 

In many ways a volcano is rather like a champagne bottle. When the magma is put under pressure it flies up the conduit pipe but hits the volcanic cap. This is like champagne when the cork is loosened. The air pushes the champagne up until it hits the cork. When the magma gains enough pressure, it blasts the volcanic cap kilometres into the air creating a cloud of ash. Similarly, the cork is launched several meters into the air leaving behind a thin mist of champagne. Last of all the lava oozes down the sides of the volcano making the volcano larger. The same thing happens when the champagne oozes down the sides of the bottle creating a puddle.

 

There are many different sorts of magma. If the magma is liquid, the resulting volcano will be a shield volcano. If the magma is stickier, the volcano will be a composite cone. However, if the magma is gas-rich, it will create a cinder cone. When the magma arrives in the conduit pipe, it can branch off. Once it has broken off from the main vent, it may never reach the surface or may explode out of a parasitic cone on the side of the volcano. If the eruption column of a volcano is too heavy and collapses, it may form a pyroclastic flow of superheated ash and gas, destroying everything in its path. Altogether, volcanoes are one of the most destructive forces on the planet

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Newly 12 yo dd; Week 11

 

Tsar Ivan IV

 

Ivan IV was the first emperor of Russia to be called a Tsar, which is the Russian form of Caesar, an old Roman title. Ivan was crowned Tsar in 1547.

 

In 1552 Tsar Ivan commanded that a new church be built to celebrate his power. The construction of the church began in 1555 and ended in 1679. At first the church was called Cathedral of the Intercession of the Virgin, but later the name was changed to St. Basil's Cathedral to honor Basil the Blessed.

 

Like a colorful tropical bird surrounded by robins, St. Basil's looks out of place in the city. Today it has about ten onion domes of many different sizes and patterns. There are swirls, zig-zags, and textured ones, all topped with crosses pointing up towards the sky.

 

In 1564 Ivan to suffer from a mental breakdown. Then he formed a secret police to hunt down his enemies. He wrote,â€If a tsar's subjects do not obey him they will forever be at war with one another.†His secret police, known as oprichnina, wore black cloaks and carried brooms. Brooms represented sweeping away enemies. Ivan also had political opponents murdered and he attacked his own city of Novgorod, massacring the population.

 

Ivan IV died in 1584. He had been sick and could no longer walk. To get around he was carried in a litter. One day as he was getting ready to play chess he suddenly died, leaving his country poor and in chaos.

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Week 14

 

MARS

 

Mars is the fourth planet from the sun. It is an orangish reddish color and has blue-gray markings. It also has white polar caps. The northern polar cap is made of 1 meter thick water ice while the southern polar cap is made of carbon dioxide ice that is about 8 meters thick.

 

Mars has two moons that, like lumps of clay, aren’t in any particular shape. The moons are named Phobos and Deimos. Phobos rises in the west and sets in the east, while Deimos does the opposite, rising in the east and setting in the west.

 

Mars atmosphere is made of 95% carbon dioxide, 2.7% nitrogen and 1.6% argon with traces of oxygen, water vapor, and carbon monoxide. In winter most of the atmosphere freezes into polar caps.

 

Mars’ core is probably made of iron sulfide, which is a heavy combination of iron and sulfer. The crust ranges from 31 miles (50 km) to 77 miles (125 km) in thickness. The soil is made of magnesium, sodium, and potassium chloride, and has traces of other chemicals.

 

If you were on Mars you would see wind storms stir up dust, then pick it up and use it to create dust storms. You could also see the dust from the storm spread around the planet. These dust clouds are reddish due to iron ixoide (rust).

 

Two big craters, Hellas and Argyre, were made when meteors hit Mars. Both are in the southern hemisphere. The larger one, Hellas, is 3 miles deep and 1,000 miles across.

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Week 15

 

HYDROTHERMAL VENTS

 

When Tectonic plates ( plates in the earth's crust) shift, magma usually erupts. Scientists predicted that this would make parts of the ocean floor heat up. Before 1977, nobody had seen spots like that.

 

In 1977 an expedition, sponsored by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, took place. It had both French and American research scientists and was led by scientist Robert Ballard. The scientists used a 25 foot long submarine called the Alvin, which was designed for deep ocean use. Robert Ballard wrote,â€Suddenly, our floodlights revealed a swaying field of orange pink dandelions, their puffy heads pulsing with fine webs of filaments …. The lumped mounds of pillow lava were thick with jutting chalk white clam shells, some of them a foot in length.†Then the submarine dove into the Galapagos Rift. They dove down to 2,500m and discovered hot springs in the ocean floor. In other words, hydrothermal vents.

 

Deep ocean hydrothermal vents are gaps or cracks between rock plates in the ocean floor. There is usually volcanic activity nearby. The water goes into the gaps or crack, touches the magma, and overheats. The water then shoots back out of the vents between 212 degrees and 570 degrees Fahrenheit ( 100 to 300 degrees Celsius).The water does not boil because it is under too much pressure. When the water cools to about 73 degrees Fahrenheit,it is cloudy with minerals.

 

The animals in this area are interesting. Giant mussels have yellow shells and eat bacteria that they filter out of seawater. Giant clams have white shells and are each about a foot across. Like white underwater Christmas trees, tube worms look as if they are hung with red ornaments. Tube worms don't have mouths or digestive tracts, so they live on the energy produced by the bacteria that lives inside of them. Tube worms can grow up to 2.4m ( 8 feet long) and white crabs like to eat their stalks.

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The Discovery of Hydrothermal Vents

Week 15, Day 4

dd10

 

In 1977 a submarine named Alvin went underwater 2,500 meters below the surface to the murky depths of the ocean floor, lifeless and dark. Prior to this, scientist Robert Ballard had been searching for geysers underwater similar to Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park. First they had looked around the Mid-Atlantic Ridge for two years. Finding nothing, they next tried the Galapagos Rift near the Galapagos Islands. They went down in Alvin, their trusty submarine, and what they found was fantastic.

 

They saw vents, some as tall as 200 feet, which were shooting up scalding water caused by the rubbing of ocean plates. Colonies of tube worms lived near footpaths of scuttling giant shellfish. The tube worms had reaching, waving arms of long stalks with plumes at the top filled with blood. Some were as tall as 10 feet. If you were to touch one it would likely feel like a worm, soft and squishy. They also stared in awe at the multi-colored fish basking in the heat of the vents. Robert Ballard himself said, “Suddenly our floodlights revealed a swaying field of orange and pink dandelions, their puffy heads pulsing with fine webs of filaments. The lumped mounds of pillow lava were thick with jutting chalk-white clam shells, some of them a foot across.”

 

Alvin was the first submarine to be successful in finding geysers on the ocean floor. Prior to Alvin, no one could explore the depths of the deep sea to this extent. The crew in Alvin floated back up to the surface and told the world what they had seen.

 

 

 

** As far as what I did to help her edit, I noticed in her rough draft that she had moved into her scientific description by immediately talking about all the abundant life around the vents, but had completely missed talking about the vents themselves, so she had to add in a section just for the vents to begin the scientific description.

 

She also had to be reminded after her rough draft to add a personal point of view to her scientific description. She had two grammatical errors switching there / their, and three spelling mistakes to correct. It was a good assignment that challenged her to incorporate many of the things she had learned in prior weeks. Honestly, I told someone had I taught her how to write a report about Hydrothermal Vents we most likely would have researched and wrote about three or four things to do with Hydrothermal Vents. I didn’t realize how to incorporate a chronological narrative, or how one paragraph might lead into the next in this fashion. I would say we are all growing in our knowledge with this curriculum.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Here's my ds9's draft. Most spelling errors have been corrected but grammar errors have not. The last section is his first attempt at a personal point of view. He thought he really needed to put himself in the story. His second attempt at the personal pov is the preceding paragraph.

 

I'd welcome editing help, and also general feedback. He's young for the program, but bright and in need of challenges. That said, writing is not his forte, at least so far. Up until now he has been able to do a fairly good job with the assignments. Now that I have the WWS books and can see where the program is going, however, I wonder if it is too challenging for him. Very soon, the expectations get steeper. The learning tasks given might be too demanding for my 9 yo. The program is so strong, and so sophisticated in terms of the level it is trying to bring the children to, I don't want to squander it before DS is ready.

 

Then again, it might be just the thing. Your thoughts?

 

 

Thermodynamic Vents

 

 

In the 1970s, some scientists predicted “hotspots” upon the ocean floor. How the hotspots are formed is plates in the earth’s crust meet and shift magma quite often. The scientists believed it would cause areas in the ocean floor to heat up. In the 1970s multiple expeditions were made the inspect the hot spots. The main three were in three consecutive years, 1975, 1976, 1977. The 1975 expedition was called FAMOUS (French-American Mid-Ocean UnderSea Study).

The 1976 expedition was not for men. Instead, they used unmanned crafts.

In 1977, the expedition, which was successful, used the 25-foot Alvin submarine for deep dives. Alvin dove 2500 feet and discovered hydrothermal vents. The submarine held two scientists, John Corliss and John Edmond, who wrote about the hydrothermal vents. Hydrothermal vents are deep-water vents along the ocean ridges. The vents are cracks between the ridges at the ocean floor. There is always volcanic activity nearby. The water goes into the cracks, where it touches the magma and overheats. After this water shoots out of the cracks at temperatures between 100 and 300 degrees Celsius. The heated water is very cloudy wit the large deposits of minerals.

A black smokers is a kind of vent. They are deeper than most vents and spew out black minerals with sulfur ores in them. Black smokers are also much hotter, often being over 350 degrees Celsius. The place where the “smokers” spew out the mineral ores is called a chimney and a basically just holes. The “chimneys” can become up to more than 60 feet.

Swaying in the flow, created by the vents, tube worms live on energy produced by bacteria that live inside them. Blood-filled red worms dart in and out of their waving, 8-foot white tubes. These are only the weirdest of weird creatures in this true ocean wonderland. Amidst the sulfur-stink such amazing creatures as white crabs and giant clams thrive.

 

 

“The vents are dull and gray,” I think. But then, a few moments later, when the submersible hits bottom instead of a CLUNK, as we expected, there is an eerie squish and human-like blood comes out from under the sub. I frantically switch the headlights on and there before us is an area that is like an extraterrestrial planet. Massive tube worms over eight meters long, giant clams, white crabs, and tiny organisms are all there, before our sights.

Edited by yellowperch
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  • 2 weeks later...

Ds 14 is having trouble with WWS Week 12 Day 4. This involves organizing your material from several references as well as picking what things you are going to talk about from the diagram. In a confused fog here, please help!

 

How did you get started?

 

Thanks!

 

Annette

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Ds 14 is having trouble with WWS Week 12 Day 4. This involves organizing your material from several references as well as picking what things you are going to talk about from the diagram. In a confused fog here, please help!

 

How did you get started?

 

Thanks!

 

Annette

 

I just posted my dd's writing from that lesson, if that helps. It's on it's own thread with the lesson number in the title.

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WWS Week 1 Day 2 (9 yo DS)

 

We just started using this program, and I am still "getting a feel" for how it works. DS wrote the following. I pointed out that he forgot a key piece of information (that they were on a train) and he smacked his head and said "I KNEW there was something I forgot!" :lol:

 

"A man offered Sylvia sweets but she refused. Wolves were walking across the train track and one jumped onto the man's window. He threw his cloke (sp) over the animal and killed it with a piece of glass."

 

 

Suggestions?

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Still trying to get the hang of how to judge my son's writing. Here's his Week 1 Day 3 summary:

 

"Peter wanted to go to the west but there were no ports for the ships, except the one in Azov which was ruled by the Turks. He laid siege on the port and demanded a surrender. The Turks refused because they could sail in and out of Azov to get supplies. Peter built a navy to block their ships and Azov was conquered."

 

This seems okay to me. I don't like the structure of the first sentence; it seems awkward, but he was saying he found it hard to figure out how exactly to combine his sentence notes in an articulate manner. I think it's probably just something that will improve in time?

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Still trying to get the hang of how to judge my son's writing. Here's his Week 1 Day 3 summary:

 

"Peter wanted to go to the west but there were no ports for the ships, except the one in Azov which was ruled by the Turks. He laid siege on the port and demanded a surrender. The Turks refused because they could sail in and out of Azov to get supplies. Peter built a navy to block their ships and Azov was conquered."

 

This seems okay to me. I don't like the structure of the first sentence; it seems awkward, but he was saying he found it hard to figure out how exactly to combine his sentence notes in an articulate manner. I think it's probably just something that will improve in time?

 

It's fine. It will improve in time. I find the rubrics very helpful in preventing me from being too harsh with my ds. We go back later to revise the writing and make it more sophisticated, but for the first draft it just needs to pass the rubric.

 

Has he learned compound sentences yet? If so, I would ask him to find the missing commas in the first and fourth sentences. He also missed capitalizing "West". If he hasn't learned those rules yet, then I wouldn't say anything.

 

I would point out and praise his use of a compound predicate in the second sentence and a complex sentence in the third. Also, good use of pronouns!

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It's fine. It will improve in time. I find the rubrics very helpful in preventing me from being too harsh with my ds. We go back later to revise the writing and make it more sophisticated, but for the first draft it just needs to pass the rubric.

 

Has he learned compound sentences yet? If so, I would ask him to find the missing commas in the first and fourth sentences. He also missed capitalizing "West". If he hasn't learned those rules yet, then I wouldn't say anything.

 

I would point out and praise his use of a compound predicate in the second sentence and a complex sentence in the third. Also, good use of pronouns!

 

Thank you-yes, he's learned compound sentences, so I will ask him if he can find the missing commas. Thank you!!! Does WWS provide in the schedule a time for revisions, or is that something you do on your own? We do revisions with most of his other writing, but wasn't sure if WWS scheduled that in or not.

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Thank you-yes, he's learned compound sentences, so I will ask him if he can find the missing commas. Thank you!!! Does WWS provide in the schedule a time for revisions, or is that something you do on your own? We do revisions with most of his other writing, but wasn't sure if WWS scheduled that in or not.

 

There isn't any revision time scheduled in WWS. I add it in during another time and work closely with my ds for revising. It looks like you already found another thread in which I posted about our revision process. :)

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The Pepins have such bizarre problems that one time they couldn’t even get their shoes on because they found frogs sitting comfortably in them! They were so struck with suspicion that they went to their fine neighbor and saw frogs in his shoes too, for nobody knew where or how the fat, ugly frogs came from.

 

Dd8 typed this on her own...from WWS, Day 1, Step 3...

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Abi, age 8, Day 2....

 

Sylvia, who was sitting on the train, was looking interestedly at the man who had dainty chocolates. When he offered her some, she refused ever so coldly. After she awoke from a deep sleep, a wolf crashed through the window unexpectedly! The man jumped with a start from his peaceful nap and threw his cloak over the wolf, grabbed a piece of tattered glass, and killed it.

 

Day 3... This was a challenging lesson for her. We obviously need to ramp up our non-fiction narrations. :)

 

Peter The Great of Russia, fascinated by the West, wanted a ship to sail to Europe for trading goods. He needed a new port, and he found Azov, a perfect place, but full of Turkish people. He built twenty-five war ships in order to capture the city. To his delight, Peter the Great defeated the Turks, and from that point forward Azov was their port so they could sail into Europe.

Edited by BethinWA
added day 3
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From WWS Week 1 Day 4. The first version is his initial draft. The following is his reworked, typed, final draft (I require him to rewrite some of his writing, and this one definitely needed it. I think he began to get tired towards the end.

 

Draft of Day 4: (this versions was AFTER he had made a list of the chronology of the story, events, etc., and read the instructions to cross out anything non-imperative :glare:)

Dullhead was the youngest of three sons who all met a little man. The little man asked each one of the sons for food and drink but all of them refused except for Dullhead who let him eat. Since Dullhead was nice to the old man, he told him to cut down a tree and he will find a golden goose there, and sure enough...he did! Dullard went to a hotel and stayed there for the night. Three sisters wanted just one feather so while Dullhead was asleep each one snuck in, but when they touched the goose, the got stuck on it. When Dullhead left, they had to follow and soon the parson, clerk, and two peasants were following Dullhead. The king was offering anyone who could make his daughter laugh to take her as his bride. When Dullhead walked over to her, she laughed when she saw the seven people following him but the king did not like Dullhead. The king gave Dullhead tests, and with each one the little man helped him, so in the end, Dullhead and the princess were married.

After some suggestions and reworking, this is what his final draft looks like:

Dullhead was the youngest of three sons who all met a little man. The little man asked each one of the sons for food and drink, but all of them refused except for Dullhead. Since Dullhead was nice to the little man, he let him take a golden goose. Dullhead met three girls who tried to take a feather from the golden goose, but when they touched it, they got stuck to it. When Dullhead left, they had to follow him, and the parson, clerk and two peasants who tried to help one another got stuck to the goose, also. The King was offering his daughter as a reward if anyone could make her laugh. She laughed when she saw the seven people following Dullhead, but the King didn’t like him. The King gave Dullhead tests and with each one, the little man helped him and in the end, Dullhead and the princess were married.

Edited by Halcyon
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Week 13 day 4. ds(11) 6th grade

 

A First Hand Description of a Volcanic Eruption

 

When the volcanic cap was blown off, a huge black cloud of ash swiftly obscured the sun turning noon into the darkness of midnight. It was a stunning picture, glowing, white-hot tendrils of lava flowing down the side of the volcano obliterating everything in their path. Soon, the ash started falling, covering everything in its warm blanket. It was possible to feel it in almost every way: you could taste it in your mouth, hear its soft patter on the ground, feel its scalding grit in your eyes, smell its acrid scent, and see it everywhere. Suddenly, part of the ash cloud collapsed falling onto the flanks of the volcano. It was a nuee ardente also known as a glowing avalanche, the most deadly sort of pyroclastic flow. Trees and bushes fell before it as it sped down the slopes of the volcano at the speed of over two-hundred kilometers per hour.

 

I made 2 suggestions: to replace quickly and amazing with better words (1st and 2nd sentences). He chose swiftly and stunning. The rest was his, and I really did not want to change it! (1 small brag: I had not even taught him about parallel structure. He told me that he continued to edit it until it sounded good). We love WWS!

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Week 13 day 4. ds(11) 6th grade

 

A First Hand Description of a Volcanic Eruption

 

When the volcanic cap was blown off, a huge black cloud of ash swiftly obscured the sun turning noon into the darkness of midnight. It was a stunning picture, glowing, white-hot tendrils of lava flowing down the side of the volcano obliterating everything in their path. Soon, the ash started falling, covering everything in its warm blanket. It was possible to feel it in almost every way: you could taste it in your mouth, hear its soft patter on the ground, feel its scalding grit in your eyes, smell its acrid scent, and see it everywhere. Suddenly, part of the ash cloud collapsed falling onto the flanks of the volcano. It was a nuee ardente also known as a glowing avalanche, the most deadly sort of pyroclastic flow. Trees and bushes fell before it as it sped down the slopes of the volcano at the speed of over two-hundred kilometers per hour.

 

I made 2 suggestions: to replace quickly and amazing with better words (1st and 2nd sentences). He chose swiftly and stunning. The rest was his, and I really did not want to change it! (1 small brag: I had not even taught him about parallel structure. He told me that he continued to edit it until it sounded good). We love WWS!

 

Wow, that is outstanding.

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Abi, age 8...Week 1, day 4....

 

Dullhead’s brothers refused to share with an old man, but Dullhead gave the man some of his drink and cake. His reward (for being kind) was a golden goose. It was so marvelous that when he went to an inn, the youngest daughter reached out wanting a feather, but she stuck to the goose! The other foolish girls did that also, and four more people joined. The king said whoever could make his daughter, the princess, laugh would have her to wed. When she saw Dullhead and his group she burst out laughing. The king said he could have her only when he found a man who could eat a mountain of bread, drink a cellar full of wine, and make a boat that sails on land and sea. The little man did all of this, and Dullhead married the Princess and became king.

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Week 14 ds(11) 6th grade.

 

He had a lot of trouble with this assignment because he forgot to think in paragraphs. I helped him to edit by first splitting the draft into 3 paragraphs. This highlighted the paragraphs that were weak and also showed where he was missing topic sentences.

 

Draft:

Suddenly, a huge storm of red sand is lifted into the pink sky obscuring the sun. This does not sound like a sand storm on earth, and it is not. This storm is on Mars. Sand and dust is carried kilometers into the martian atmosphere concealing the surface of the planet for days. Mars is about half the size of earth but has many of the most amazing features in the solar system One of them, the Valles Marineris, is a valley the length of America and many times deeper than the Grand Canyon. Another is Olympus Mons, the largest mountain in the solar system. This mountain is a shield volcano that covers an area the size ofArizona and is more than three times the height of Mount Everest. Although Mars has no liquid water it may have in the past. If so Mars, my have had life. In which case, Earth is not the only planet to have ever had living organisms.

Final:

 

Mars: A Small Planet with Big Surprises

Suppose, you are strolling on a endless dessert, red sand and clay all around you, gazing at a minute patch of ice. Suddenly, a vast storm of turbulent sand is lifted into the pink sky obscuring the sun. The huge howling cloud surrounds you, stinging you with billions of tiny grains of sand. This does not sound like a sand storm on earth, and it is not. This storm is on Mars.

 

Mars is about half the size of earth but has many of the most striking features in the solar system. One of them, the Valles Marineris, is a rift the length of America and many times deeper than the Grand Canyon. Another is Olympus Mons, the largest mountain in the solar system. This mountain is a shield volcano that covers an area the size of Arizona and is more than three times the height of Mount Everest. From space, they are like a huge gash and a giant callus on the Martian surface.

 

Many people used to think that Mars had life. But it does not. Without liquid water, life cannot exist, and Mars has no liquid water. However, many signs have shown liquid water has existed in the past like the evidence of flooding on the huge plain of Chryse Planita. Martian rocks often contain small shapes that look like bacteria. Most Astrobiologist believe this was life. On a desolate planet with huge dust storms and massive canons, life may seen impossible, but Mars may surprise us.

Edited by lewelma
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Week 15. ds(11) 6th grade.

 

I talked to him before he wrote this week's report and reiterated the need to think in paragraphs. To have a purpose for every paragraph and a planned organization with topic sentences and a "clincher." This resulted in a much better result than week 14.

 

Unedited:

 

For years scientists had predicted that large under-water volcanoes would exist at the boundaries of tectonic plates, but nobody had ever proven this hypothesis. However, in 1975 a group of French and American oceanographers decided to do just that. Their first dive, to the bottom of the Mid-Atlantic Rift, found nothing, but when unmanned submersibles found mineral rich water at the bottom of the Galapagos Rift, they dove again. This time, they found what they were looking for, a hydrothermal vent.

 

A hydrothermal vent is created when the edge of one tectonic plate is pushed under another, creating volcanic activity. These vents spew out water at temperature of over 300 degrees Celsius.

 

When the water flowing out of hydrothermal vents is full of black sulfides, minerals often build up around the vent making what looks like a large chimney spewing black smoke into the water nearby. These undersea pillars can grow to the height of 60 meters.

 

Hydrothermal vents support a diverse ecosystem. Huge mussels, giant clams, and large white crabs live in the heat of these vents. However, the most amazing of all animals that live here are definitely the giant tube worm which form a tube around their soft inner body that winnows in the ocean current. The first scientists to see these hydrothermal vents described them as "lush oases in a sunless desert."

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WWS Week 22, Days 2-3

Natural Sequence Composition

 

DS8

 

The Life of an Octopus

 

Octopi are very smart creatures who know how to open a jar, escape out of tiny openings, and do many other things. The naturalist, Jacques Cousteau once reported that an octopus had escaped from its owner and was found in the home’s library looking through books.

 

Far back in history, Aristotle, a Greek scientist, did research on many sea creatures including Octopi, but these days no one studies them anymore because they are not worth much money, so we don’t know much more than Aristotle did.

 

Octopi are amazing creatures that have no bones, and can squeeze through tight places. They have eight strong tentacles that can grab anything. Their beaks are like a parrot’s beak, and can tear food into tiny bits.

 

Baby octopi have everything they need within their egg shells to provide cushioning and nutrition. This is all packaged into something the size of a grain of rice.

 

Once the octopi hatch they are the size of a flea. They wander out of the cave and drift about the currents, making it easy to be eaten by a whale or other predators of the deep. However, they enjoy the sunshine and like being near it.

 

Soon the baby octopi slowly settle back down to the sea floor and try to find a place to live. The octopi stay in their nests, and never come out except to hunt. Eventually they do set out to find a mate.

 

After they mate, the male octopus stops eating and its brain deteriorates. It then wanders around like an old man with Alzheimer’s, so it has a good chance of getting eaten. Within a month of mating the male dies.

 

The female soon finds a suitable cave and starts to lay her eggs. She stays there for one to ten months to guard the eggs until they hatch. She does not eat anything, because she knows that if she leaves her eggs will not be safe. She stays in her den, blowing on them and washing them until they hatch.

 

After all of that hard work the mother octopus is really weak and can barely move. With her eggs gone, she dies. Then with the hatching of the new babies, the cycle begins again.

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Here is dd10s report on the same subject.

 

The Life of an Octopus

 

The octopus is a very intelligent animal. Octopi can find ways to get out of sticky situations. Many have been known to escape from their tanks. A scientist named Jacques Cousteau once filmed a friend’s octopus slipping out of his tank, and going on a quest. Later they found him paging through books in the library. Some people think that octopi are dangerous, but they are really very shy and timid.

 

Thousands of years ago Aristotle, the philosopher and natural scientist, was paid by Alexander the Great to go to the ocean and collect sea creatures. Along the way he discovered the octopus. Because today’s food industry does not care much about the octopus, we still do not know much more than Aristotle did 2,200 years ago.

 

Octopi are rubbery and can compact themselves to a 30th of their size. This allows them to slip under doors and tight places. They use jet propulsion to push themselves wherever they want to go at incredible speeds. They can change their skin to any color or texture they want to stay away from predators.

 

In their early years, baby octopi are remarkable because they have everything they need including food, cushioning, and protection. All of this can be found within a tiny capsule the size of a grain of rice.

 

When emerged, baby octopi are far too weak to control where they go, instead they float along the current, soaking up the sunshine. Because they enjoy the sunshine, their predators are always lurking around, waiting for a chance to eat a relaxing baby octopus.

 

When they mature, the Octopi settle to the sea floor and inhabit anything from pots to tires to caves. They stay in the same nest for this part of their lives, only coming out to hunt. Eventually they come out to find a mate.

 

After mating, the male’s brain deteriorates to the point that he wanders around aimlessly. Many are eaten by sharks or whales. Regardless, males die within a month of mating.

 

Ready to lay her eggs, the female closes herself in a cave or other crevice. She does not eat for months during this time. The mother octopus gently blows water over the eggs to keep fungus from growing on them. After the eggs hatch, the mother’s life cycle is complete, and she dies from old age.

 

At this point the process begins again, and the baby octopi live in the same way that their parents did before them.

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Finally, if you have worked through the "Description of a Person" lesson and did not do the amount of pre-writing/coaching described in the curriculum eval thread, could you post samples of your student's pre-edited work?

 

I gotten some messy first-drafts, but we've learned as worked the process of revision.

 

Seeing examples of that assignment from students who only used instructions from the WWS student text would help mothers who don't plan to use the type of pre-writing process the op described.

 

Week 16, Day three. This is assigned after the student learns about (a long list of) aspects that can be used to describe a person. The student is told to brainstorm specifics about as many aspects as possible. The student is also told not to use certain overused adjectives.

 

Description of a person you know. Done by dd11, about her friend. (I'm changing names, though)

 

First draft:

 

Macy has long brown hair and frecles. Laura thinks she is a good builder. She is a good friend to many. As Mrs. Laura's Mom said "Macy always plays with Laura, and allways semed to enjoy her company."

 

Macy has built two forts and made a club. It is called Poohs Corner. She also made a tire swing to put in there. Macy even helped Laura decorat her room for her party!

 

Macy laughs a lot, and one face she made that Laura can remember well was her "oh no!" face.

 

Macy is a good woodworker. She wares jeans a lot, and the pink sandals a lot, and a soccer outfit.

 

She goes to scool and in the summer is alowed to stay home alone. She is a good friend.

 

Final draft, with the help of the WWS rubric (which includes some grammar info.), dd's spelling training, and dd's current knowledge of grammar/mechanics from her grammar program:

 

Macy has long brown hair and freckles. Laura thinks she is a careful builder. She is a kind friend to many. As Mrs. Laura's Mom says, "Macy played with Lucy and always seemed to enjoy her company."

 

Macy has built two forts and has made a club. It is called Pooh's Corner. She also made a tire swing to put in the club. Macy even helped Lucy decorate her room for her party!

 

Macy laughs a lot, and one face Lucy can remember well is her "oh no!" face.

 

Macy is an expert woodworker. She wears jeans a lot, and she wears the pink sandals a lot, too. She also wear s a soccer outfit.

 

She goes to school and in the summer is allowed to stay home alone. She is a splendid friend!

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