Managers of Their Homes

[Julpost]

I have 5 dc in an almost completely out of control home. Let me take you on a virtual tour....I have half planted garden and flowerbeds outside with bikes and scooters all over the place! When you come inside, my living room is full of toys, the dining room is full of paper, crayons, and drawings, the kitchen counters are full of dishes that need to be washed, our bedrooms are a hazard to anyone who wishes to walk in, and our family room is about unusable because of the toys everywhere. Do I sit around reading and watching TV all day? Nope...believe it or not, I am constantly picking up, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc. You'd never know it though. My dc do help but it's undone so quickly. My 2 youngest are always loud and there is no peace in our home.

 

Would the book, "Managers of Their Homes" be helpful for me? How do large households manage to have peace in the evening? My dh has high blood pressure and I feel like things are just too chaotic around here when he gets home.

 

Please help!!

[Aubrey]

I've loved it so far, but I'd recommend being gentle in your implementation, or you may burn yourself out before you've got a handle on things.

[susie in tx]

This book was full of nuggets of information that I call *gems*. I tried to implement a schedule with the ideas involved, and ended up putting together a decent routine. Even after reading the book, however, I had some difficulty. One of the suggestions is to come up with things that need to be done in the house on a regular basis, semi-regular, etc. I don't know what needs to be done. Honestly, I don't always know how often it needs to be done. Growing up, my mother did not clean out the refrigerator on a regular basis. In fact, it might have been done only a couple of times to my recollection. So, some of it was very hard for me. I found that the checklist at Motivating Moms was more helpful in terms of coming up with a regular schedule of work to be done around the house.

 

In terms of a routine for our day, MOTH was incredibly helpful. My kids love the card system for Managers of their Chores, but I find it hard to keep up with, so we don't always keep that method implemented.

[OnTheBrink]

This book was full of nuggets of information that I call *gems*. I tried to implement a schedule with the ideas involved, and ended up putting together a decent routine. Even after reading the book, however, I had some difficulty. One of the suggestions is to come up with things that need to be done in the house on a regular basis, semi-regular, etc. I don't know what needs to be done. Honestly, I don't always know how often it needs to be done. Growing up, my mother did not clean out the refrigerator on a regular basis. In fact, it might have been done only a couple of times to my recollection. So, some of it was very hard for me. I found that the checklist at Motivating Moms was more helpful in terms of coming up with a regular schedule of work to be done around the house.

 

In terms of a routine for our day, MOTH was incredibly helpful. My kids love the card system for Managers of their Chores, but I find it hard to keep up with, so we don't always keep that method implemented.

 

 

My mom was the same way. There was no routine, schedule, or anything. So here I am, 41 years old and trying to train my dd and it's HARD! I'm more of a, "Oh, hey. That's a mess. I should clean that...sometime soon" than a routine, scheduled person. Maybe I should read that book, too.

[Chris in VA]

I think MOTH would help. I also think you should do a radical declutter. It's hard, but I'll bet you could get rid of 3/4ths of the toys and it would help a lot. I have a dear, dear friend who simply cannot get her house under control--her kids do not help, and she gets easily overwhelmed, but the biggest thing is that she cannot seem to let anything go. There is clutter everywhere. She has so many little knickknacks, papers everywhere (no filing system whatsoever), and her house is simply filthy. I would love to get her to just GET RID OF THINGS.

 

You don't sound like you have the same problem, but I'll tell you, the less you have, the easier it is to keep tidy and clean. I'd challenge myself to pare down.

[Peek a Boo]

you sound kinda like me :)

 

I can keep up w/ the cleanliness, but I am SUCH a packrat that the house is always MESSY.

 

It was only a few years ago that i was actually able to keep the table cleared.

 

I would suggest starting there.

 

I need a basic checklist on the WALL where we can all see it. It literally says:

Wake Up.

Get dressed w/ shoes [for the kids- they take forEVer finding shoes!!]

Eat breakfast.

Clear and clean table.

 

If nothing else gets done that day, just clearing the table is a huge asset.

 

After that, the next chores to be done are:

 

11 and 6yo unload dishwasher and/or dry and put away dishes that oldest washed. i load the dishwasher, oldest washes any left behind. do you have a dishwasher? edited to add: and DON't be afraid to run it two or three times a day w/ just a few pots and pans in it!! just get them washed!!!

 

next, yes, decluttering is the hardest.

Black trashbags are your friends.

let the kids help you declutter the first time. you might be surprised at what they are willing to part with. i like the toys more than my kids do sometimes, lol.

 

once it is bagged up, it HAS to leave my house or i'll dig thru it again. DH is great about this, lol.

 

Next step is to box up toys and stuff that isn't ready to be tossed, but doesn't get used w/ regularly. Box up [and seal the box closed! label it too.] those potato head pieces/ cars/ happy meal toys, put them UP or in the back of a closet, and reap the joy of "discovering" them next year, lol.

 

our next thing is clearing the floors. They know that dh is BIG on having the floors clear. We do several 5-minute pick ups during the day. My youngest are TWO ['nuff said] and 4 [my princess who must change clothes 5 times a day].

 

I do like MOTH. I take it babysteps at a time tho. Don't try to schedule out your whole day, just get an hour scheduled where everyone is working on something. That way you can implement that scheduled hour routine anytime during the day.

 

a HUGE help is having containers for stuff. Do you have enough trashcans? Strategically placed trashcans help keep paper down.

 

what about containers for pick ups? I keep a small supply of oil boxes from the auto parts places [they are STURDY boxes!!!] to cram stuff in. Stuff scattered is a mess. Stuff in a box can be stacked neatly [and sorted later].

 

 

good luck!!

[MelissaM]

If your house is already in disarray it may overwhelm you though. MOH is a book to show you how to schedule every minute of your day. It made me insane!

 

Overall the two most helpful suggestions for me have been 1.) allow yourself at least 15 more minutes than you think you need and 2.) give yourself some non-negotiables to do each day.

[Mosaicmind]

MOTH is a great book and has lots of information if you are trying to get on a schedule. I suggest you read it knowing that your schedule, life, and kids are not what are portrayed in the book. You have to be the one to decide what schedule is right for your family. It goes by 30min increments and honestly I found myself doing some 15min or 45min increments at times. What the book did for me was get me on a regular routine of what needs to be done when. It never gets done when my "MOTH schedule" says it should, but it gets done. Sometimes there isn't enough time in the day for me to sit and read a book for 30 min, so I push that time to the weekend and look forward to it.

 

Fly Lady is a good website if you want to get your house in order.

[Closeacademy]

The book was written for families of about your size and bigger. It can be adapted to be used by families with only 2 or 3 children but works best with 4 plus children.

 

It is a very helpful book and one thing that it really did for me was made me aware of how I am using my time and when I was wasting time. It is best to go through it in baby steps reading it a chapter a day and taking time to pray and talk to your family about changes that will be made as you work through the steps.

 

You may also find Managers of their Chores to be an asset to your family as well. It sounds like there are people in your home that are capable of doing some helping who maybe are not.

 

Good luck!:001_smile:

[BamaTanya]

But I never could implement. I've come to realize that my brain doesn't work that way.

Routines work better for me, and FlyLady is great for routines. She has a book, Sink Reflections, that may be available in your library. Or you can find information on her site (flylady.net).

Other moms have found the planner at motivatedmoms.com helpful. It's inexpensive, samples are available onsite, and it might help your dc to *see* what needs to be done.

I understand how you feel. :grouphug:

[Melinda in VT]

I found MOTH extremely helpful for ensuring I spent time on the important things. I use it primarily in the summer, when my kids are home from school and I am juggling four kids, an inn, and a part-time telecommuting job. It's easy for me to get overwhelmed and feel like I am never going to get everything done.

 

MOTH forced me to identify the things that were important to me and forced me to recognize what I could and could not realistically fit into one day. And then it enabled me to create a schedule that included the important things.

 

I found the schedule very freeing. If the schedule said to work on bills and paperwork, I did that for the scheduled time, and then put it all away and stopped worrying about it. I knew I would work on it again tomorrow. It also ensured that time reading with the kids and playing at the river happened. It didn't get buried in the neverending work.

 

(Having the kids on a schedule also eliminated a lot of the bickering and whining we used to have in the summer. No one pestering about being bored, or wanting to watch TV, or asking for a snack. They knew when snack time and TV time were, and they changed activities often enough that they didn't have time to get bored. I did schedule in some blocks of free time for the older kids, so they had opportunity to plan their own activities.)

 

If you are looking for support deciding what cleaning tasks to do, I recommend Motivated Moms and Flylady. I've used and liked both. Motivated Moms is better for cleaning, and Flylady is better for decluttering. MOTH will help you schedule time to clean, but it won't tell you what to do.

[susie in tx]

My mom was the same way. There was no routine, schedule, or anything. So here I am, 41 years old and trying to train my dd and it's HARD! I'm more of a, "Oh, hey. That's a mess. I should clean that...sometime soon" than a routine, scheduled person. Maybe I should read that book, too.

 

Actually, my mother didn't teach me anything wrt cleaning. It's been something I've struggled with my entire life. She also didn't teach me how to run a house, other than by example. Her example was one of being overwhelmed and not able to get out from under the clutter or depression.

 

So I take what I can from others, books, and trial and error. I still have too much stuff and too much clutter. I struggle with figuring out where and how to put things away. One day it will come to me, I hope.

[Michelle My Bell]

I used to be in your shoes. May I suggest two things to help you before you spend big bucks for MOTH?

 

#1 Get rid of 95% of the toys:

Real Life Example: I had a playroom basement with all of the kids toys. I thought if they had a place to play that would help and it would keep the rest of the house clean. Reality: Too many toys meant huge messes in the basement. Then the kids would invade the other areas of the home with their toys so they could have an organized place to play. The whole house was always a disaster!!!

 

Solution: I organized and packed away almost all of their toys. I rotate bins of toys as they get board with what they have. This has resulted in a very clean basement most of the time and plenty of creativity with their stuff. I don't rotate very often either. The room is easy for them to clean so they don't get overwhelmed with it. Result: Happy Kids & Mom

 

#2 Go get Sink Reflections from your library. It really will help you way more than MOTH. If you want help developing a schedule, I recommend Confessions of a Happily Organized Family by Denise Schofield. These two books will change your life!!!

 

Michelle

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

It is helpful to break down your homemaking, homeschooling, childrearing, & personal responsibilities into categories, and then schedule them from there.

 

Here is my example:

 

Homemaking (Flylady is a great source for ideas):

Cooking (meal planning & shopping)

Laundry

Cleaning & Organizing

Outdoor/Gardening

 

Personal:

Bathing/grooming

Exercise

Hobbies

Bible Study/reading

 

Homeschooling:

Planning

Grammar Stage primary subjects

Logic Stage primary subjects

Rhetoric Stage primary subjects

Read Aloud

 

Childrearing:

bathing

room maintenance

chore training

free time

 

I would suggest that you get your children on board w/ all of this and ask their suggestions. You may want to confess your lack of planning/organizing and that you need their help to get things on track.

 

It will be a tough and challening road at first, but don't give up! Try to keep a smile on your face and a great sense of humor (especially w/ your children). There is nothing worse than a well-organized home w/ a miserable mother and unhappy children.

 

I still struggle w/ staying disciplined, yet I have learned to take breaks and do things differently, adding sponteneity.

 

You can do it! (and you'll be happy ya did ;o)

 

Blessings,

 

Camy

[Alenee]

I really had no real-life training from my mom on how to run a household...she worked full time outside the home. MOTH has like one poster said "gems" or nuggets of great information. I also like MOTC. That was a real kick in the rear for me! lol! I did way too much for my dc. I'm a control freak:glare:

 

True, it does teach you how to schedule every minute of your day but for me, just like curriculum, I take what I like and throw out the rest. Again, that's the non-conformist in me;) We follow a loose schedule around here for chores and a rigorous schedule for school. But there are still no major times on our day except breakfast at 8am, devotions 9am, lunch noon, naps 1pm, dinner 6:45pm, bed (for dd's) 8pm. Everything we do fits into those blocks of time not mentioned and we have great checklists that keep us on track.

 

If nothing else, the book just gave me a great godly outlook on things and a lot of helps in areas I had no clue about. I'd get it if you can!

[CalicoKat]

I have 5 dc in an almost completely out of control home. Let me take you on a virtual tour....I have half planted garden and flowerbeds outside with bikes and scooters all over the place! When you come inside, my living room is full of toys, the dining room is full of paper, crayons, and drawings, the kitchen counters are full of dishes that need to be washed, our bedrooms are a hazard to anyone who wishes to walk in, and our family room is about unusable because of the toys everywhere. Do I sit around reading and watching TV all day? Nope...believe it or not, I am constantly picking up, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc. You'd never know it though. My dc do help but it's undone so quickly. My 2 youngest are always loud and there is no peace in our home.

 

Would the book, "Managers of Their Homes" be helpful for me? How do large households manage to have peace in the evening? My dh has high blood pressure and I feel like things are just too chaotic around here when he gets home.

 

Please help!!

We tried this and it didn't work for us. The kids "lost" their badges. Threatening them with punishments were ineffective and quite frankly depressing. I found this very parent-intensive for me to manage.

 

Then we discovered Miracle Music. What a change! The kids know what to do (no cards to loose, shuffle, or play with), how long them have to do it, and what they're gonna get for doing it, or not.

 

And all I have to do is push a button to get them all in motion each day.

 

Of course there is the learning curve of teaching the chore, but my kids caught on quickly. :)

 

http://www.childrensmiraclemusic.com/

 

My kids are young. So it was a challenge to get everyone through morning chore time together so we could start lessons. This has helped. Plus we found time for an Evening Family Time and and Morning Devotions. :)

 

Perhaps when the kids are older I will put together their badges with lists of chores to do. I just hated keeping track of those and the cards.

 

I am thinking that now that the habit is being established and

[CalicoKat]

We tried this and it didn't work for us. The kids "lost" their badges. Threatening them with punishments were ineffective and quite frankly depressing. I found this very parent-intensive for me to manage.

 

Then we discovered Miracle Music. What a change! The kids know what to do (no cards to loose, shuffle, or play with), how long them have to do it, and what they're gonna get for doing it, or not.

 

And all I have to do is push a button to get them all in motion each day.

 

Of course there is the learning curve of teaching the chore, but my kids caught on quickly. :)

 

http://www.childrensmiraclemusic.com/

 

My kids are young. So it was a challenge to get everyone through morning chore time together so we could start lessons. This has helped. Plus we found time for an Evening Family Time and and Morning Devotions. :)

 

Perhaps when the kids are older I will put together their badges with lists of chores to do. I just hated keeping track of those and the cards.

 

I am thinking that now that the habit is being established and

 

Sorry, I thought you were talking about Managers of their Chores -- same authors, different book.

 

I did like MOTH for the scheduling. I think it was a good place to start with the idea of organizing each day.

[cjzimmer1]

I didn't like MOTH because it was just too strict for my personality. I couldn't stand being tied to the clock (at least that's what it felt like to me) however I LOVED Managers of their Chores. This worked so well for us that I made a chart for me as well. I didn't implement it exactly like she suggests but modified it to fit our needs.

 

For instance, my kids didn't need much for daily chores. they already know to get dressed, put pj's away, brush teeth etc so it seemed pointless to make cards for those activities. Instead I used the cards for actual work i wanted them to do around the house such as clean the bathroom, fold and put away laundry, clean their room etc. Some things are done daily (like wash out the bathroom sink) others a few times a week (laundry) and others weekly (clean out the van). So we made enough cards for each chore for each day it's assigned. I get some extra cards holders and filled 5 slots (Monday-Friday) for each kid. that way each day I just pull out that days set. My kids grumbled at first but now they get to work quite quickly. When we start my kids were 9,7, and 4).

 

My chart is more general, for instance one day a week I assign myself Kitchen. Obviously dishes and stuff get done every day (or nearly so) so I didn't need that but I needed to be reminded to put away things that accumulate on the counter, clean the stove, wash the cupboards etc. So I give myself the "freedom" to pick a Kitchen chore that needs to be done. I don't have a set amount of time just whatever I can work in that day. SInce obviously everything can't be done in a day, I can leave the chore at whatever point during the day I want. I know I have accomplished something and next week I will get back to it.

 

It took me about 4 month to get my house in order. I know it seems depressing to think of things taking that long but I just worked when I could (and decluttered a TON during that 4 months - I took several van's full of stuff to goodwill) and eventually I made significant dents and I always knew that if i didn't finish an area, I would eventually get back to it.

 

So while MOTH didn't work for me (since it turned out my trouble wasn't so much managing my time), Managers of their chores was exactly what I needed to get my kids and myself cleaning on a regular basis.

 

Stephanie