My husband bought me diamond earrings for Mother's Day!

[plain jane]

Beautiful, stunning, white gold with diamonds in the middle. They're really quite nice.

 

Thing is, I don't wear earrings. :glare: I haven't worn a single pair in 10 years. :crying:

 

I'm starting to wonder if they were for his girlfriend and he got the boxes mixed up :001_huh: or if he was really *that* desperate with the last minute shopping. :001_huh:

 

I feel like I've just been slapped in the face. :crying: I hate Mother's Day.

Edited May 8, 2011 by plain jane

[sheryl]

Picture PLEASE

[hana]

Did you ask him about them?

 

Maybe he *wishes* you would wear earrings? That you would wear them if you had the *right* ones?

 

Is it possible to see the good in his intent?

 

ETA: And hugs to you. Sorry your gift made you hurt.

Edited May 8, 2011 by hana

[Sophia]

:grouphug:

I've been married 22 years and dh is still clueless when he goes shopping for me. He would be lost without my girls helping him.

[snickelfritz]

They don't notice this stuff. Truly. Has he known you since you wore earrings? I hope so. If not, he's in bigger trouble.:D

 

I go through periods (years at a time) where I don't wear earrings. dh has no clue.

 

dh has "mostly" quit buying me jewelry. But, we've been married 15 1/2 years. I have a jewelry box full of stuff he's bought. Beautiful rings, earrings, bracelets. I only wear cheap fashion earrings occasionally, maybe a watch (always bought by him, my current one was my Mothers Day Gift :)) and much of the time not even my wedding ring.

 

I think the guys give in to the cheasy commercials that say mom MUST want jewelry to show her how much you love her. I mentally keep a list of how I can divide them and pass them on to my daughters.

 

Depending on your husband, I would act like I love it and wear it a few times.....or....exchange them (if you can do that without hurting his feelings.)

[plain jane]

:grouphug:

I've been married 22 years and dh is still clueless when he goes shopping for me. He would be lost without my girls helping him.

 

I told specifically what I wanted this year. I also asked him not to get me some last minute panicked "token" gift for the day, kwim? He was out shopping late yesterday. :rolleyes:

 

Sigh. He didn't even take the kids out so they could pick up something and they are sad about that.

 

It's not about the gift, it's really just the lack of thought. An expensive gift really doesn't mean much when there's nothing behind it IMO.

[sparrow]

Awe. I'm sure he bought them with the best possible intent. They sound lovely.

 

My husband is a real gem, but he's not the best shopper (neither am I, for that matter :tongue_smilie:). I just smother him with kisses and let him think he bought me the best gift possible.

 

:grouphug: I hope you enjoy the rest of you day!

[plain jane]

Did you ask him about them?

 

Maybe he *wishes* you would wear earrings? That you would wear them if you had the *right* ones?

 

Is it possible to see the good in his intent?

 

ETA: And hugs to you. Sorry your gift made you hurt.

 

Perhaps. But then he should have included some sort of gift certificate so I can get my ears pierced. :glare: Or better yet, made it his father's day gift. :glare:

[Sue G in PA]

Awww, Jane. I'm sorry. I would say it was the thought that counts, but I'm not so sure that is appropriate. I hope you have a wonderfully blessed day, anyway. FWIW, maybe he thought you didn't want to spend the money for earrings for yourself and that's why you didn't wear them? Maybe? :grouphug: my friend.

[sparrow]

They don't notice this stuff. Truly. Has he known you since you wore earrings? I hope so. If not, he's in bigger trouble.:D

 

I go through periods (years at a time) where I don't wear earrings. dh has no clue.

 

dh has "mostly" quit buying me jewelry. But, we've been married 15 1/2 years. I have a jewelry box full of stuff he's bought. Beautiful rings, earrings, bracelets. I only wear cheap fashion earrings occasionally, maybe a watch (always bought by him, my current one was my Mothers Day Gift :)) and much of the time not even my wedding ring.

 

I think the guys give in to the cheasy commercials that say mom MUST want jewelry to show her how much you love her. I mentally keep a list of how I can divide them and pass them on to my daughters.

 

Depending on your husband, I would act like I love it and wear it a few times.....or....exchange them (if you can do that without hurting his feelings.)

 

I totally agree with the bolded! Actually, the only earrings I've been wearing for years are the diamond studs dh bought me a long ago. I wear them both in the upper holes of my left ear :D.

[MrsMe]

Perhaps he would like you to wear earrings.:glare:

[hana]

Perhaps. But then he should have included some sort of gift certificate so I can get my ears pierced. :glare: Or better yet, made it his father's day gift. :glare:

 

Okay, I hear you. I agree with the person who wrote about men and jewelry. He's probably thinking he did a great job, buying you jewelry that contains diamonds, kind of like when one's cat drops a mouse at one's feet.

 

I hope your day gets better.

[snickelfritz]

Perhaps. But then he should have included some sort of gift certificate so I can get my ears pierced. Or better yet, made it his father's day gift.

 

I'm sorry. My hubby does do better than that (he now buys me sporty watches, instead of the fashion ones he used to pick...so he does learn and try)

 

My sister is in a similar situation. She ordered her own present this time. She threatened her husband at Christmas that he had BETTER have SOMETHING (anything) under the tree for her. And it ISN'T about money.

 

The only thing I can suggest is that you teach your kids how to shop for you.... as a favor to their future spouses. My sister takes her boys out at Christmas and takes them around Wal-Mart. They talk about different gift choices. She's allergic to perfume, so don't pick that out. She collects turtles, so that figurine might be a choice...etc... Then, SHE gives them money to pick out something for HER. She's determined her kids will do better for their future spouses.

[Evergreen State Sue]

My dh once bought me long drop pearl earrings to match a pearl necklace I inherited from my mom. It really is the thought that counts because I don't go any where fancy enough to wear such earrings. I'd be over dressed at church. I started becoming allergic to earrings and haven't worn earrings for several years. Now about 10 years later one ear piercing has closed up. However, if my husband would surprise me with stud diamond earrings, I get my ears re-pierced. You can wear diamonds with anything, right?

 

Sorry it wasn't what you were hoping for. I've had many a Mother's Day like that. I just had to wake my teen son up to tell him if he wants to help in preparing my Mother's Day breakfast he should get up.

 

By the way, you don't know what last minute shopping is until you sit in the car at the grocery store while you know your husband is in there buying you a card.

[OLG]

It's tough. I get it. We have slowly evolved to few surprise gifts and while I would love a surprise (that worked ;)), it is simply easier to give directions.

 

My beef with all of this today is that this is MOTHER's Day and when I grew up it was the kids who did the gift giving to mom not the husband. I understand appreciating the mother of his kids and all of that but the bottom line to me is that I don't expect a gift from my hubby on MOther's Day - just the kids.

 

OP-maybe you can gentlely mention that they are lovely but you just don't want to get your ears pierced? Return them for something you want. I suspect his feelings will adjust.

[plain jane]

My dh once bought me long drop pearl earrings to match a pearl necklace I inherited from my mom. It really is the thought that counts because I don't go any where fancy enough to wear such earrings. I'd be over dressed at church. I started becoming allergic to earrings and haven't worn earrings for several years. Now about 10 years later one ear piercing has closed up. However, if my husband would surprise me with stud diamond earrings, I get my ears re-pierced. You can wear diamonds with anything, right?

 

Sorry it wasn't what you were hoping for. I've had many a Mother's Day like that. I just had to wake my teen son up to tell him if he wants to help in preparing my Mother's Day breakfast he should get up.

 

By the way, you don't know what last minute shopping is until you sit in the car at the grocery store while you know your husband is in there buying you a card.

 

Oh, no card this year either. Just a box. Yay me. :glare:

 

I guess it just hurts because he knows I don't like jewelry. I say it all the time. Heck, I barely ever wear my wedding band and engagement ring... not because I don't like them :) but because they get in the way and my hands are always so dry that I need cream & the cream gets in between the diamonds and drives me bonkers.

 

And yes, I've done the waiting in the car bit many a year. :glare: Usually a few times per year- mom's day, birthday, xmas. :rolleyes:

 

I wish he'd have put some thought into it and just taken the kids out to pick something but he never did that. Earrings from the kids, I can see and appreciate. From him? I have no idea what to make of it. :001_huh:

[plain jane]

 

My beef with all of this today is that this is MOTHER's Day and when I grew up it was the kids who did the gift giving to mom not the husband. I understand appreciating the mother of his kids and all of that but the bottom line to me is that I don't expect a gift from my hubby on MOther's Day - just the kids.

 

 

Exactly, but he never took my kids out to get something. :001_huh: They're sad and embarrassed not to have a gift for me. :(

[lorrainejmc]

Could have been worse, my dh went through a phase of buying me lingerie for Christmas in our early years. It was a gift for himself.:glare:

 

Now I give him an extensive list of perfume, books, dvd's etc that he can choose from. I'm not one for fancy stuff but it's the only way to get something you want/need.:D

[plain jane]

 

I think the guys give in to the cheasy commercials that say mom MUST want jewelry to show her how much you love her. I mentally keep a list of how I can divide them and pass them on to my daughters.

 

He's never bought me jewelry before. He knows I don't like jewelry. :001_huh:

[mmasmommy]

Perhaps. But then he should have included some sort of gift certificate so I can get my ears pierced. :glare: Or better yet, made it his father's day gift. :glare:

 

:grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry. I think I would have made a smart a$$ comment back if DH bought me earrings and my ears weren't pierced. No matter how big or expensive they were there's no excuse for that.

 

I hope the rest of your day is better and that your kids pamper you!

[nmoira]

:grouphug:

[plain jane]

Could have been worse, my dh went through a phase of buying me lingerie for Christmas in our early years. It was a gift for himself.:glare:

 

Now I give him an extensive list of perfume, books, dvd's etc that he can choose from. I'm not one for fancy stuff but it's the only way to get something you want/need.:D

 

LOL. I've warned my dh about buying me lingerie. :lol:

 

Dh had a list of what I would have liked for today. Sigh. I also asked him to please not get me a last minute gift in a panic, kwim?

 

Oh well. My feelings will heal and life will go on.

 

It's really not about the gift itself, but the lack of thought that went (or didn't go) into it. And seeing how bad my kids feel today sucks too.

[YourFidgetyFriend]

Perhaps. But then he should have included some sort of gift certificate so I can get my ears pierced. :glare: Or better yet, made it his father's day gift. :glare:

 

 

Just buy him some tampons for Father's Day. After all, you don't have pierced ears and he doesn't have a vagina ;)

[Gratia271]

NM

Edited May 8, 2011 by Gratia271

[plain jane]

Just buy him some tampons for Father's Day. After all, you don't have pierced ears and he doesn't have a vagina ;)

 

*snort* :lol::lol:

 

Oh, I'm thinking about his father's day gift alright. :glare: Makes me glad mom's day comes first. :D:D:lol:

[nmoira]

Just buy him some tampons for Father's Day. After all, you don't have pierced ears and he doesn't have a vagina ;)

:tongue_smilie:

 

Or a kilt.

[Gratia271]

And seeing how bad my kids feel today sucks too.

 

This is always the hardest part for me. :grouphug:

[stripe]

Wow. You guys are a tough crowd.

 

I'd trade them for something you prefer.

 

Sounds like there are much bigger issues at work.

[Natalieclare]

Exactly, but he never took my kids out to get something. :001_huh: They're sad and embarrassed not to have a gift for me. :(

 

 

It's not too late for your kids! I might be weird in this, but I actually prefer my kids to make me something for Mother's Day. I want pictures I can tape to my closet. I want the homemade (cold by the time they get to me) crepes. I want a few weeds dug up in the garden. I want a foot massage. I don't necessarily want more *stuff*. For our family, it's about celebrating each other. Yes, it's artificially induced hallmark celebration--that's why I don't really want the stakes very high.

[Melinda in VT]

It's not too late for your kids! I might be weird in this, but I actually prefer my kids to make me something for Mother's Day. I want pictures I can tape to my closet. I want the homemade (cold by the time they get to me) crepes. I want a few weeds dug up in the garden. I want a foot massage. I don't necessarily want more *stuff*. For our family, it's about celebrating each other. Yes, it's artificially induced hallmark celebration--that's why I don't really want the stakes very high.

 

:iagree:

 

I'd :glare: at anyone who is making my kids feel bad. Mother's Day should be about thanking our mothers and spending time with them, if possible. Gifts are not required.

[TXMary2]

Just buy him some tampons for Father's Day. After all, you don't have pierced ears and he doesn't have a vagina ;)

 

:lol:

[plain jane]

It's not too late for your kids! I might be weird in this, but I actually prefer my kids to make me something for Mother's Day. I want pictures I can tape to my closet. I want the homemade (cold by the time they get to me) crepes. I want a few weeds dug up in the garden. I want a foot massage. I don't necessarily want more *stuff*. For our family, it's about celebrating each other. Yes, it's artificially induced hallmark celebration--that's why I don't really want the stakes very high.

 

This is me too. All dh had to do was to just get them going on something, like I did with them to do something for my mom and MIL, kwim? I don't want material, store bought stuff from the kids. That's not it at all.

 

:iagree:

 

I'd :glare: at anyone who is making my kids feel bad. Mother's Day should be about thanking our mothers and spending time with them, if possible. Gifts are not required.

 

FWIW, I'm *not* making my kids feel bad. IT's not me. I didn't expect anything. They normally draw me pictures or make me cards. I love those. They are up all over my room even though my room looks like a Kindergarten class room :lol:

 

That's all I wanted for mom's day. Honest. :) I don't want them to have gone out and got something for me. It's not about the money spent. My kids know that, they just need to let dh in on the little secret. :tongue_smilie:

[Plucky]

Wow. You guys are a tough crowd.

 

I'd trade them for something you prefer.

 

Sounds like there are much bigger issues at work.

 

I agree. It sounds like he's not good at gifts and is trying to overcompensate for it. This gift says I love you and you are a queen.

[Blueridge]

Bless your heart. :grouphug: Why don't you announce to your kids that you would LOVE for them to make you supper tonight, with whatever they can cook up. Candles and waiter attire optional. Smiles a must!

[MSNative]

Wow. You guys are a tough crowd.

 

I'd trade them for something you prefer.

 

Sounds like there are much bigger issues at work.

 

I agree. My dh has gotten me some um, interesting, gifts in the past. (Like an expensive crockpot for Christmas one year. He was so excited and proud of it. I already owned two crockpots and made dinner once a week in them. No way he could have thought we didn't have one. Still don't know what he was thinking, but I do use "his" now when I cook.) I'm sure I've also given him stuff that makes him ponder what planet I've been living on for the past 15 years. But since we both know the other can't read minds, we give a little grace and smile and say thanks.

 

We finally took care of most of that by not buying presents anymore. I just went to the nursery and bought myself exactly the plants I wanted. Meanwhile, my dh and kids were doing yardwork. That's my kinda gift. :)

 

Perhaps there is something more going on here. Before getting too upset about the gift, maybe it would be good to try to figure out what the bigger problem is? (Is he usually thoughtless about lots of things, has he been particularly distant lately, are you feeling unappreciated, etc.) Talking about that might go over better than being upset about diamonds, kwim? (I know you're not upset about the diamonds, but I'm betting that's how he'd see it.)

 

Hope this comes across in a loving, non-judgmental way. Happy Mother's day - hope it gets better for you. :grouphug:

[Love2Smile]

Beautiful, stunning, white gold with large diamonds in the middle. They're really quite nice.

 

Thing is, I don't wear earrings. :glare: I haven't worn a single pair in 10 years. :crying:

 

I'm starting to wonder if they were for his girlfriend and he got the boxes mixed up :001_huh: or if he was really *that* desperate with the last minute shopping. :001_huh:

 

I feel like I've just been slapped in the face. :crying: I hate Mother's Day.

WOW, sorry but you sound so ungrateful! I'd be thrilled if my husband bought me such a gift! Soooo start wearing earings then, slapped in the face? im speechless

[OLG]

It's not too late for your kids! I might be weird in this, but I actually prefer my kids to make me something for Mother's Day. I want pictures I can tape to my closet. I want the homemade (cold by the time they get to me) crepes. I want a few weeds dug up in the garden. I want a foot massage. I don't necessarily want more *stuff*. For our family, it's about celebrating each other. Yes, it's artificially induced hallmark celebration--that's why I don't really want the stakes very high.

:iagree:

 

Things we can treasure from our kids that only could be from them. Great idea!

[Love2Smile]

I told specifically what I wanted this year. I also asked him not to get me some last minute panicked "token" gift for the day, kwim? He was out shopping late yesterday. :rolleyes:

 

Sigh. He didn't even take the kids out so they could pick up something and they are sad about that.

 

It's not about the gift, it's really just the lack of thought. An expensive gift really doesn't mean much when there's nothing behind it IMO.

You tell people what you want for mother's day? I don't ask for anything and I am so grateful, appreciative to get anything. You sound spoiled

[myfunnybunch]

:crying: I totally get it. If my husband got me diamond earrings, I'd feel the same way.

 

There are all kinds of ads on tv showing the loving husband giving his beautiful wife diamonds for a gift. Therefore diamonds are a good gift for wives. He probably just didn't take that extra mental step to match the picture on tv of how to show your wife she's appreciated with his real wife. Loving but misguided.

 

:grouphug: Just tell him. His heart was probably in the right place. Then, if you want to get your ears pierced, see if he'll take you; if you don't, why not go to the store together? I have a dear friend whose husband gave her diamond earrings for their anniversary. She agonized for three weeks over whether to tell him or not. She finally told him very graciously, he heard what she was saying, and they went to the jewelry store together return the earrings and to choose something she'd wear.

 

And next year, hint shamelessly about what you want. ;) I asked dh (NOT gifted at gift-giving) yesterday, "Did you take the kids to get a hammock? Well, you've got to go pick up something for your mother--how about if you take them with you." Hint, hint. I also told him that ds might enjoy making me a cheesecake with dh's help.

 

Diamond earrings seem to say (to me) that his heart is in the right place, that he wants to make you happy. I also think some men don't really get that a gift doesn't have to be a fancy purchased *thing*. He might need to hear that for you having the kids buy you something isn't as important as giving them the opportunity to bless you in some way. If you want gifts from the kids, why not sit dh down and say, "It's not for my sake, it's for theirs. How about getting out markers and colored paper and helping them make cards?" This year from the kids, I got flowers from the yard and a paper crown. It's not too late for your kids to do something for you. They can rub your feet, make you cookies, pick you flowers, do a small chore for you... :)

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Cat

Edited May 8, 2011 by myfunnybunch

[mmasmommy]

WOW, sorry but you sound so ungrateful! I'd be thrilled if my husband bought me such a gift! Soooo start wearing earings then, slapped in the face? im speechless

 

Did you read the later post that her ears aren't even pierced?? She couldn't wear them even if she wanted to.

[Love2Smile]

Wow. You guys are a tough crowd.

 

I'd trade them for something you prefer.

 

Sounds like there are much bigger issues at work.

There must be bigger "issues" because i'd be jumping for joy if I got earings and if my ears were not pierced i'd be out there today getting them done.

[plain jane]

I agree. My dh has gotten me some um, interesting, gifts in the past. (Like an expensive crockpot for Christmas one year. He was so excited and proud of it. I already owned two crockpots and made dinner once a week in them. No way he could have thought we didn't have one. Still don't know what he was thinking, but I do use "his" now when I cook.) I'm sure I've also given him stuff that makes him ponder what planet I've been living on for the past 15 years. But since we both know the other can't read minds, we give a little grace and smile and say thanks.

 

We finally took care of most of that by not buying presents anymore. I just went to the nursery and bought myself exactly the plants I wanted. Meanwhile, my dh and kids were doing yardwork. That's my kinda gift. :)

 

Perhaps there is something more going on here. Before getting too upset about the gift, maybe it would be good to try to figure out what the bigger problem is? (Is he usually thoughtless about lots of things, has he been particularly distant lately, are you feeling unappreciated, etc.) Talking about that might go over better than being upset about diamonds, kwim? (I know you're not upset about the diamonds, but I'm betting that's how he'd see it.)

 

Hope this comes across in a loving, non-judgmental way. Happy Mother's day - hope it gets better for you. :grouphug:

 

Yes, there is a bigger problem. I'm not upset about the gift. In fact, I asked for no gifts. I don't need money to be spent on me. Now I have to spend more of it to get my ears pierced when I don't like wearing earrings? :001_huh:

 

He is usually very thoughtless about a lot of things and this is just shows how he hears me but never listens.

 

I'm not mad at dh. I'm just hurt. I asked him not to buy me a last minute gift, just cuz. I'm not about gifts at all. Not when they're just money spent on *something*.

[Satori]

That doesn't happen to me anymore, but a few years ago when it did, I'd smile, tell him it's sweet but I'd never wear it. Then, making it seem like his idea, we'd return the jewelry and, with his help, pick out a nice big computer monitor. (We're both techy geeks, so this was fun.) Now he knows better than to waste his money and time with fancy jewelry. Earrings, I could never stand to wear them in my ears, although I used to endure diamond studs everyday.

 

Just make sure he understands that you aren't a jewelry gal.

 

This weekend we've just gone for long romantic walks/hikes and enjoying the weather. That's so much more fun than a pair of earrings. :)

Edited May 8, 2011 by Satori

[Love2Smile]

Did you read the later post that her ears aren't even pierced?? She couldn't wear them even if she wanted to.

Then go to the mall and get them pierced? I dunno, I'd be happy! Heck, my dh is off today at a baseball game leaving me home alone., If he gave me earings i'd be thrilled

[plain jane]

You tell people what you want for mother's day? I don't ask for anything and I am so grateful, appreciative to get anything. You sound spoiled

 

Yup. I asked the family if for mother's day we could spend it together and get some family photos done. I also asked dh if he could help me get x, y, and z done this weekend because I can't do them on my own and they are important to me.

 

I didn't want any *thing*. It's not like I gave him some big shopping list. :lol:

[plain jane]

There must be bigger "issues" because i'd be jumping for joy if I got earings and if my ears were not pierced i'd be out there today getting them done.

 

It's painful. :scared: Yes, I am a wimp. :D I can birth several children but don't bring that gun near my head. :tongue_smilie:

 

I had to sit and watch my girls get theirs done and that was bad enough. In fact, the second time around, I made dh sit with her and watch. :001_huh:

[Gratia271]

NM

Edited May 8, 2011 by Gratia271

[Satori]

Then go to the mall and get them pierced? I dunno, I'd be happy! Heck, my dh is off today at a baseball game leaving me home alone., If he gave me earings i'd be thrilled

 

Not everyone likes earrings. I don't like the feel of them in my ears. If my husband bought me a nose or nipple ring (even with a diamond in it), you wouldn't see me jumping up and down and getting a new piercing, hehe.

[plain jane]

Not everyone likes earrings. If my husband bought me a nose or nipple ring (with a diamond in it), you wouldn't see me jumping up and down and go getting a new piercing.

 

I'm also petrified a baby is going to rip them out by accident one day. :svengo:

 

To be fair, I *have* contemplated a nose ring, just cuz :D but the pain factor scared me out of it. And I doubt these were meant for my nose, cuz, well, they'd look really out of place. :lol::lol:

[Love2Smile]

Well I apologize if I sounded harsh, maybe there is something going on in your marriage that I am unaware of. sorry