X-post Transitioning Ds13 from Book Reports to Essays

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am trying to transition Ds13 from writing book reports to essays which argue an actual thesis. Because he is refusing to listen to any actual instruction on the subject he's doing this the hard way by having to do it multiple times.

 

Here is his initial book report: Note - it is a Christian book and so his context is very overtly Christian

 

The Hiding Place

 

The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom, is an auto-biography detailing the author’s experiences during World War 2. In doing so, it shows how God had worked in her life.

 

God had had a plan for her life: after her release, she found a ministry telling people about her experiences in the prison, and about how God had helped her through. Had God not arranged her release, she would not have had a chance to share God’s love and His light in the midst of trouble. God kept her safe throughout her life, while many died for Him. She was able to share some of their stories, and help people to see God’s great love for them. Even the death of her cousin Betsy was planed. That death opened the eyes of many people to God’s light, and freed her from the pain and suffering she experienced at the end. Corrie learned that when God calls someone home, it is perfectly timed. From Betsy, Corrie learned to be thankful in all circumstances for all things. Even the smallest things can help, as Paul said in the Bible: “For all things work together for good, for those who love Him, and for those who are called according to His purpose.â€

 

Corrie later was able to show people how this was in her life. Even fleas, and even the much-despised Nazis could be forgiven, because however much evil they had done, God still loved them, His creatures. No matter how much Satan twists, no matter how much we disobey, we still fulfill a purpose. Corrie was able to do that, because of the clerk’s “errorâ€, and because of the opportunities God had given her.

 

We talked about how an essay argues for something in its thesis. He told me that his thesis would be that God works in people's lives instead of it being just luck.

 

Here is his rough draft of his essay: I would like feedback on how to improve his essay.

 

God is always working in our lives. For example, in The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom, we see how God kept the author safe in the midst of WWII.

 

During the first 5 years of the war, Corrie had helped hide Jews from the Nazis. Several times, the Nazis had nearly discovered her, and every time God had sent something (or someone) to help her. After a friend had been captured, Corrie was taken to the Copenhagen prison, and then the Ravensbruke concentration camp in Germany with her sister, Betsie. In the midst of the suffering, Corrie learned about how even the fleas that caused so many problems could help, keeping some of the soldiers away. God had kept her from any major harm, all the time she had been there. Her sister died there, and eventually, Corrie learned that even something as horrible as death could still be a blessing: Betsie no longer had to deal with the fleas, her illness, and all the suffering.

 

Many years after Corrie was released, she found out that, had God not been looking out for her, she would have been on a list of women to be executed. She was able to share this story, and the stories of others, with many people, telling them about God’s good news, and how He looks after his own.

 

In the Bible, it says, “For all things work together for good, for those who love him, for those who are called according to His purpose.†It may not be readily apparent, but God is always working in our lives, and we should be thankful for all he has done for us.